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    5 Tips For Becoming A Stepparent

    en-usAugust 19, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Navigating the Complexities of Becoming a StepparentLet go of preconceived notions, find common ground, build relationships, set clear boundaries, and be patient and flexible in your new role as a stepparent. Use inclusive and loving terms, and remember every family is unique.

      Becoming a stepparent can be a challenging and complex experience, filled with unrealistic expectations and potential roadblocks. Kisha Batsouli, a stepparent herself, shares her personal journey and offers practical advice for navigating this new role. She emphasizes the importance of letting go of preconceived notions and finding common ground with your new family members. Batsouli also suggests using alternative terms for "stepparent" that feel more inclusive and loving. And when it comes to the practicalities of the role, she recommends focusing on building relationships, setting clear boundaries, and being patient and flexible. Remember, every family is unique, and the key is to find what works best for yours. In the words of Batsouli, "We're all transitioning here. Right? We're all trying to figure it out." Meanwhile, in other news, Whole Foods Market is here to help you host a celebratory brunch for less with their wallet-friendly finds, and Smartwool is offering a 15% discount on your first order of merino wool socks and apparel. And for those starting their own families, Apple Card is offering daily cash rewards on every purchase. So whether you're a new stepparent, a first-time parent, or just looking to make your brunch a little more special, these sponsors have got you covered.

    • Navigating the complexities of stepfamiliesAcknowledge unique challenges, be intentional, learn about family dynamics, and build relationships based on understanding and respect to create a successful stepfamily experience.

      Becoming a stepfamily involves unique challenges and requires a shift in perspective. Stepparents enter as outsiders to established family dynamics, and kids may resist the newcomer. According to psychologist Patricia Papanow, acknowledging these realities can help stepparents avoid feelings of shame and disappointment. Another takeaway is the importance of being intentional about entering your new family. Associate Professor Stephanie Irby Kord advises learning about the child or children and family dynamics, having open discussions, and understanding the child's history and temperament. Biological parents should share their knowledge, and stepparents can contribute by building a relationship based on understanding and respect. Additionally, examining your own relational history and comfort level with children is crucial. In summary, embracing the differences in stepfamilies and approaching your role with intention can lead to a more successful and fulfilling experience. Remember, transitioning into a stepfamily is a process, and everyone is figuring it out together.

    • Building a Blended Family: Patience, Flexibility, and Intentional EffortsCreating a successful blended family takes patience, flexibility, and intentional efforts to build relationships. Understand stepchild's developmental stages, take their lead, and engage in low-key activities. Parents should initiate unity and create a safe atmosphere. Ensure individual attention to prevent feelings of competition or exclusion.

      Creating a successful blended family requires patience, flexibility, and intentional efforts to build relationships. Some people plan the transition, while others may not, but it's essential to acknowledge and address any feelings of resistance or fear. The key is to understand the developmental stages of the stepchild and take their lead, allowing them to have a say in the process. Relationships take longer to develop than we might think, so it's crucial to be patient and start with low-key activities. The parent in the relationship should take the lead in initiating unity and creating a safe atmosphere for everyone. Once everyone is more comfortable, you can start forming your own relationships with the child by engaging in activities they enjoy and making time for one-on-one interactions. It's also essential to ensure that everyone in the family gets individual attention to prevent feelings of competition or exclusion. In summary, creating a blended family is a process that requires time, patience, and intentional efforts to build relationships and ensure that everyone feels valued and included.

    • Allowing children time with bio-parents is crucialPatience, respect, and focusing on children's needs are essential for a successful stepfamily. Let bio-parents handle discipline, avoid badmouthing, and use visit time for self-care.

      Building a successful stepfamily takes time, patience, and respect. Dr. Papanow emphasizes the importance of allowing children to spend quality time alone with their bio-parents during visits, and encourages stepparents to use this time for self-care activities. She also advises against badmouthing the other parent in front of the children, as it can lead to poor well-being and unnecessary discomfort for them. Furthermore, stepparents should let the biological parent handle discipline, as children are not ready for a stepparent's discipline until a caring, trusting relationship has been established. Overall, the key to a successful stepfamily is to approach the situation with patience, respect, and a focus on the best interests of the children.

    • Communicating Effectively in Step-ParentingMindful communication, forging relationships, consistent rules, patience, and empathy are key to effective step-parenting.

      Effective communication and understanding are crucial when step-parenting. Dr. Papanow advises being mindful of how we speak to our stepchildren and emphasizes the importance of forging a relationship rather than enforcing discipline rigidly. Matsuli adds that both biological parents should agree on consistent rules in both households to minimize confusion for the child. Batsouli emphasizes the importance of patience and not taking things personally when dealing with the challenges of step-parenting. Pavanagh shares her experience of feeling hurt when her stepdaughter turned away from her during a visit from her ex-wife, and encourages step-parents to lean on their partners and not take every slight personally. Overall, the experts stress the importance of empathy, communication, and flexibility in navigating the complexities of step-parenting.

    • Navigating Blended Families: Understanding PerspectivesEmbrace complexity, reset expectations, learn family dynamics, and form bonds with stepchildren while respecting biological parents' roles.

      Becoming a step parent involves embracing complexity and learning to understand different perspectives. Batsouli, who hosts meetups for stepmothers and biological mothers, discovered that dealing with conflicts and emotions in blended families requires understanding the other person's point of view. Stepparents, as intimate outsiders, can provide unique insights and form strong bonds with their stepchildren. However, it's essential to reset expectations, be intentional in learning about family dynamics, and respect the role of the biological parent in discipline. Remember, the goal is to create a safe and loving environment for the stepchild, even when it's not perfect. Overall, the experience of having stepchildren can be challenging yet rewarding, as you watch them grow into kind and decent individuals.

    • Exploring mental health, social media, investing, and technology through podcastsListen to NPR's LIFE KIT for managing anxiety in children and rethinking social media, NPR's Planet Money for investment strategies, Choiceology for understanding choices, and ThruLine for insights into technology's impact. Enhance your knowledge and broaden your perspective.

      Managing anxiety in children and rethinking our relationship to social media are important aspects of personal growth. These topics were explored in the latest episodes of NPR's LIFE KIT podcast. For those interested in investing, tune in to NPR's Planet Money summer school, which covers various investment strategies and concepts. Meanwhile, the psychology and economics behind our decisions are the focus of Choiceology, an original podcast by NPR sponsor Charles Schwab. This show features stories from experts and real people about the reasons behind our choices. Additionally, our reliance on COBOL, an old programming language, was highlighted in NPR's ThruLine podcast. Its absence in a part of the Congo led to significant consequences, underscoring the interconnectedness of our digital world. In summary, these podcasts offer valuable insights into various aspects of life, from mental health and social media to investing and technology. Don't miss out on these enlightening discussions.

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    Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube.

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    Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

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    3. Create Your Now Archive 1 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1

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    10. NEW Website! Go check it out and tell me what you think. http://www.createyournow.com

    11. Sign Up for The A.I.M. Academy! You will be the first to learn all about it. http://createyournow.com/m-academy-2

    12. Schedule a Discovery Call. This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me.

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    Live. Love. IMPACT! 

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    Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube.

    Listen to Create Your Now on Spotify and Pandora.

    Listen to Create Your Now on iHeart Radio. Click here.

    The Create Your Now Archives are LIVE!! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here.  http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive7

    Contact me at YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com

    THE NO FUSS MEAL PLAN

    Instagram
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    @Kristianne Wargo

    Twitter
    @KristianneWargo
    @CreateYourNow

    Facebook
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    www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow

     


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    Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It.

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    1. Come and let's connect on Facebook - Women Of IMPACT  http://facebook.com/groups/thewomenofimpact

    2. Create Your Now ~ Your Best Selfie can be heard on iHeart Radio, Spotify, and Pandora!

    3. Create Your Now Archive 1 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1

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    7. Create Your Now Archive 5 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5

    8. Create Your Now Archive 6 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6

    9. Create Your Now Archive 7 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive7

    10. NEW Website! Go check it out and tell me what you think. http://www.createyournow.com

    11. Sign Up for The A.I.M. Academy! You will be the first to learn all about it. http://createyournow.com/m-academy-2

    12. Schedule a Discovery Call. This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me.

    13. Newsletter and Library: If you desire to get weekly emails, be sure to sign up here so you can stay connected. http://createyournow.com/library

     

    Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

     

    Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

    http://www.mandisaofficial.com

    Song ID: 68209
    Song Title: Overcomer
    Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
    Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
    9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - 
    Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

    1812 The Words That Moved Me

    1812 The Words That Moved Me

    The tearing of wrapping paper, the breath of anticipation. All-embracing what's to come, because love has come. The moment of unexpected surprise. The words that moved me.

    Christmas is for boys and girls of all ages, young and old. And even with a list that has been perfectly etched, there is still wonderment of what's to be underneath the paper for you and me.

    Desire to be supported and encourage by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACThttp://bit.ly/WomenofIMPACT

    It was Christmas afternoon. Finally, everyone was awake and ready to engage in the festivities. Our little Einstein, Noah, began unwrapping another rectangle gift as he murmured, "Is this what I wanted or one of the phantom books?"

    The mystery of complexity. The magic of Christmas. The excitement for a mom who desired to surprise beyond the etched wanted list.

    But putting it into real life, it was the words that moved me.

    You could see his eyes light up with anticipation and hopeful glee that soon the mystery would be revealed to him and me. I sat listening with an intensity that could break the sound barrier. Yes! Oh so quiet!

    And with profound excitement, a gift uncovered that surprised me. A gift from the father's heart.

    You see, this special gift was picked by his daddy. To see the sweet joy and hear the proclamation that it was not on the list was a sweet taste of extraordinary happiness.

    Smiles shared by all, especially from the father's heart.

    As I immersed myself in the presence of gift-giving, I understood what a gift God gave to us; His presence.

    We too need to give the gift of presence to our children.

    The K.I.S.S. ~ Give the gift of presence!

    We can get what we want on the etched wanted list. But where does that get us in life? Maybe one place for a moment, yet you have to look at it from a lifetime perspective.

    We are becoming masters at digital techno presence, but we are forgetting the heart presence.

    God gave us His heart; the Father's heart

    • To guide us
    • To protect us
    • To love us unconditionally
    • To awaken our dreams
    • To yearn for something greater than what's on earth.

    The words that moved me.

    "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." ~ Isaiah 9:6

    Christmas doesn't end today because the presents are all unwrapped and put away for use later. Christmas is year-round given from the Father's heart.

    So as you continue celebrating this holiday season...

    1. Listen with an intense beat of the heart.
    2. Say "I love you" more than you curse.
    3. Spread the joy of Christmas year-round.

    May the presence of Christmas touch your heart now and into the new year. Love has come!

    "Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

     

    #ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #MerryChristmas

    TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will be able to discuss your specific situation and gain tools and strategies to move you forward.

    Live. Love. IMPACT! 

    "One step at a time leads to miles of greatness!"

     

    Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube.

    Listen to Create Your Now on Spotify and Pandora.

    Listen to Create Your Now on iHeart Radio. Click here.

    The Create Your Now Archives are LIVE!! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here.  http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive7

    Contact me at YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com

    THE NO FUSS MEAL PLAN

    Instagram
    @CreateYourNow
    @Kristianne Wargo

    Twitter
    @KristianneWargo
    @CreateYourNow

    Facebook
    www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach
    www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow

     


    PERISCOPE USERS!!!

    Click here for ANDROID Users / GOOGLE  https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=tv.periscope.android

    Click here for APPLE Users  https://itunes.apple.com/app/id972909677

     

    Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It.

    https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-things-to-do-while-waiting-for-success-to-manifest-in-your-life/

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristianne-wargo/

    http://bit.ly/9amHabits

    https://journal.thriveglobal.com/how-to-configure-a-sleep-pattern-fit-for-you-d8edd3387eaf#.sniv275c3

    https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/

     

    DOMESTIC BEAUTIES (Announcements)

    1. Come and let's connect on Facebook - Women Of IMPACT  http://facebook.com/groups/thewomenofimpact

    2. Create Your Now ~ Your Best Selfie can be heard on iHeart Radio, Spotify, and Pandora!

    3. Create Your Now Archive 1 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1

    4. Create Your Now Archive 2 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2

    5. Create Your Now Archive 3 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3

    6. Create Your Now Archive 4 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4

    7. Create Your Now Archive 5 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5

    8. Create Your Now Archive 6 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6

    9. Create Your Now Archive 7 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive7

    10. NEW Website! Go check it out and tell me what you think. http://www.createyournow.com

    11. Sign Up for The A.I.M. Academy! You will be the first to learn all about it. http://createyournow.com/m-academy-2

    12. Schedule a Discovery Call. This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me.

    13. Newsletter and Library: If you desire to get weekly emails, be sure to sign up here so you can stay connected. http://createyournow.com/library

     

    Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

     

    Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

    http://www.mandisaofficial.com

    Song ID: 68209
    Song Title: Overcomer
    Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
    Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
    9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - 
    Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

    1889 How Do You Calm the Chaos?

    1889 How Do You Calm the Chaos?

    When the unexpected hits home, how do you calm the chaos? The frenzy does not have to run your household. You can have calm in the midst of a storm.

    So let's have fun for a few minutes while we discuss something very serious; interruptions to our daily lifestyle.

    Desire to be supported and encourage by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACThttp://bit.ly/WomenofIMPACT

    Here are the rules for the episode.

    "Leave the panic and prepare with patience." ~ Kristianne Wargo

    For more information on the Covid-19: https://CDC.gov or https://coronavirus.gov

    You don't have to be a contributor to the craziness. Instead, calm the chaos with hope and humor.

    The K.I.S.S. ~ Calm the chaos with hope and humor!

    Fear during times like these is more about anxiety. Not knowing is stressful and people can get all bent out of shape for no reason. Let's be real. If you don't know what to worry about, then why raise your blood pressure unnecessarily.

    1. Turn off the noise and learn the facts. That means the stupid talk that is politicizing every move. Also, in the olden days, people would not be freaking out because we didn't have 24/7/365 news.
    2. Discuss the situation in age-appropriate language. Be honest. You want to be realistic and hopeful. Don't sugar coat what is happening. Your children deserve to understand how it affects them.
    3. Create a new flexible routine. Make what is happening an adventure. For the majority of people, this is going to be an inconvenience. However, those who have more serious situations, be hone
    4. Reflect on what matters. This is a great time to really prioritize and set goals specific to your family values. Reassess and make appropriate changes.
    5. Be kind and patient. It goes a long way. When you go to the store or are out and about, be the hope for others. You don't have to let the chaos rule your house.

    Ultimately, God is in control. We can speculate how this is going to affect the future, but that's just guessing. There is no guarantee.

    How do you think prayer in your household would change the world you touch?

    It will be huge and life-changing for your family and the world.

    "Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

     

    #ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParenting

    TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will be able to discuss your specific situation and gain tools and strategies to move you forward.

    Live. Love. IMPACT! 

    "One step at a time leads to miles of greatness!"

     

    Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube.

    Listen to Create Your Now on Spotify and Pandora.

    Listen to Create Your Now on iHeart Radio. Click here.

    The Create Your Now Archives are LIVE!! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here.  http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive7

    Contact me at YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com

    THE NO FUSS MEAL PLAN

    Instagram
    @CreateYourNow
    @Kristianne Wargo

    Twitter
    @KristianneWargo
    @CreateYourNow

    Facebook
    www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach
    www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow

     


    PERISCOPE USERS!!!

    Click here for ANDROID Users / GOOGLE  https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=tv.periscope.android

    Click here for APPLE Users  https://itunes.apple.com/app/id972909677

     

    Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It.

    https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-things-to-do-while-waiting-for-success-to-manifest-in-your-life/

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristianne-wargo/

    http://bit.ly/9amHabits

    https://journal.thriveglobal.com/how-to-configure-a-sleep-pattern-fit-for-you-d8edd3387eaf#.sniv275c3

    https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/

     

    DOMESTIC BEAUTIES (Announcements)

    1. Come and let's connect on Facebook - Women Of IMPACT  http://facebook.com/groups/thewomenofimpact

    2. Create Your Now ~ Your Best Selfie can be heard on iHeart Radio, Spotify, and Pandora!

    3. Create Your Now Archive 1 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1

    4. Create Your Now Archive 2 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2

    5. Create Your Now Archive 3 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3

    6. Create Your Now Archive 4 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4

    7. Create Your Now Archive 5 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5

    8. Create Your Now Archive 6 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6

    9. Create Your Now Archive 7 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive7

    10. NEW Website! Go check it out and tell me what you think. http://www.createyournow.com

    11. Sign Up for The A.I.M. Academy! You will be the first to learn all about it. http://createyournow.com/m-academy-2

    12. Schedule a Discovery Call. This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me.

    13. Newsletter and Library: If you desire to get weekly emails, be sure to sign up here so you can stay connected. http://createyournow.com/library

     

    Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

     

    Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

    http://www.mandisaofficial.com

    Song ID: 68209
    Song Title: Overcomer
    Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
    Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
    9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - 
    Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.