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    557 Courageous Vulnerability and Loving Yourself with Najwa Zebian

    enNovember 01, 2017

    Podcast Summary

    • The importance of finding belonging within oneselfFocus on building a strong connection with yourself to avoid heartache and embrace vulnerability, empowering self-discovery and recognizing inner potential.

      The importance of finding a sense of belonging within oneself and not relying on external sources for validation. Najwa Zavian, a Lebanese-Canadian author, poet, and educator, emphasizes that our need for belonging can cause significant pain if not fulfilled. She encourages us to focus on building a strong connection with ourselves and not putting our emotional home in someone else. This not only helps us avoid potential heartache but also empowers us to overcome fear and embrace vulnerability. Najwa's inspiring story of moving to Canada at a young age and finding her voice through writing highlights the transformative power of self-discovery and the importance of staying true to oneself. Overall, Najwa's message is a powerful reminder to cherish our inner world and recognize the immense potential that lies within us.

    • Navigating Multilingual and Multicultural WorldUnderstanding and embracing linguistic and cultural differences can be challenging but rewarding, especially during formative teenage years. Isolation and depression can result from struggling to connect with peers due to language and cultural barriers.

      Language and culture can significantly impact one's sense of belonging and identity, especially during formative teenage years. The speaker's experience of growing up between Lebanon and Canada, and the challenges of adapting to a new language and culture, left her feeling isolated and depressed for several years. Despite having family in both countries, she struggled to connect with peers and found solace in studying and being alone. Her experience highlights the importance of understanding and embracing linguistic and cultural differences, and the potential challenges and rewards of navigating a multilingual and multicultural world.

    • Seeking validation from others leads to pain and disappointmentInvest in self-worth and self-acceptance for true fulfillment, don't rely on external sources for happiness

      People, especially during difficult times, often search for a sense of belonging and acceptance. However, when this sense of belonging is found in another person or situation rather than within oneself, it can lead to intense pain and disappointment when that connection is lost. The speaker shares their personal experience of growing up feeling like an outsider and seeking validation from others, only to have that validation prove false. This realization led them to understand the importance of building a strong sense of self-worth and acceptance from within. It's essential to invest in oneself and not rely on external sources for happiness and fulfillment. The search for a "home" or sense of belonging should be an internal journey towards self-acceptance and self-love.

    • Focus on building a home within yourselfInvest time, energy, and emotions into self-acceptance and self-love, creating an inner home where you can accept and love yourself unconditionally.

      Instead of investing our time, energy, and emotions into external things like people or places, we should focus on building a home within ourselves. This home is not bound to a specific location or relationship, but rather a feeling of being welcomed and accepted. Pain, whether it comes from a failed relationship or other sources, can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves, such as our strength and resilience. It's essential to recognize our worth and continue to be kind to ourselves and others, even when faced with adversity. Ultimately, the most important home we can create is one that exists within us, where we can accept and love ourselves unconditionally.

    • Using past pain as a source of strengthThe speaker encourages using past experiences of pain as a source of resilience instead of letting it define or control them.

      Kindness and truth are core values for the speaker, and they should not be used as weapons against them. However, pain is an inevitable part of life, and everyone experiences it. The speaker has faced significant pain in the form of gaslighting, but it doesn't make them immune to future pain. Instead, they can use their past experiences as a source of strength to overcome new challenges. Self-liberation, for the speaker, means making decisions to devote more time to the areas of life that call out to them the most, rather than trying to balance multiple worlds evenly. Overcoming fear of pain is not possible, but acknowledging its presence and using past experiences as a source of resilience can help in dealing with it.

    • Embracing Your Calling May Mean Letting Go of Certain RelationshipsSometimes, prioritizing your dreams and following your calling may require letting go of relationships that don't support or understand your journey. It's important to recognize that people's feelings aren't always our fault and that everyone needs to reflect on their own growth.

      Following one's calling or dreams may require letting go of certain relationships or people who don't support or understand that journey. This can be a challenging decision, especially for those who value belonging and hate hurting people's feelings. However, it's essential to recognize that sometimes the way people feel isn't our fault, and they need to reflect on their own growth as well. The speaker shared her personal experience of feeling alone for a long time due to her unique background and not being seen as a person by some people. Yet, since embracing her calling and seeing her own worth, she has realized that it's better to prioritize her dreams than to regret staying in unfulfilling relationships. People have resonated with her message due to her unique perspective and background, which makes her story relatable and inspiring to many.

    • Assumptions and MisconceptionsAssumptions based on religion or background can limit and harm, encouraging open-mindedness and acceptance towards differences is essential for empathy and understanding.

      Assumptions and misconceptions about people based on their beliefs or backgrounds can be harmful and limiting. The speaker, a Muslim woman, shares her experiences of being judged for her religion and being assumed to be oppressed, despite her accomplishments and progressive views. She emphasizes that her writing is about universal human emotions and experiences, and encourages open-mindedness and acceptance towards differences. The speaker also discusses the importance of separating religion from government and the negative impact of judgmental and exclusive attitudes within religious communities. Ultimately, she encourages empathy, compassion, and understanding towards all individuals, regardless of their beliefs or backgrounds.

    • Judging others based on superficial differences is harmfulRemember, spreading hate and judging others based on superficial differences goes against religious teachings. Focus on empathy, understanding, and meaningful connections instead.

      Judging others and spreading hate based on superficial differences is a harmful behavior that goes against the teachings of many religions, including Islam. The speaker shares her personal experiences of receiving hateful messages for her choices, such as wearing jeans or expressing her opinions, and how she tries to point out the irony of such behavior by reminding people of the severity of sins like gossiping and backbiting. She emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding, and encourages everyone to unlearn harmful beliefs and focus on the meaningful connections and commonalities that unite us as human beings.

    • Embracing Vulnerability for Deeper ConnectionsMen and women can build deeper connections by embracing vulnerability, creating safe spaces for open conversations, and acknowledging struggles and pain. Women can extend empathy towards men's emotional journey, while men need to be authentic and embrace emotional expression.

      Authenticity, empathy, and vulnerability are essential for building meaningful connections. Men, in particular, often face societal conditioning that discourages emotional expression, making it difficult for them to relate to others. To bridge this gap, men need to embrace vulnerability and be authentic with themselves and others. This requires creating safe spaces for open conversations and acknowledging the struggles and pain that shape us. For women, extending empathy and understanding towards men's emotional journey can help foster deeper connections. Ultimately, vulnerability is the birthplace of connection, and embracing it can lead to more authentic and meaningful relationships.

    • Embrace vulnerability for personal growthMen can benefit from vulnerability, leading to deeper connections, personal power, and improved leadership. Let go of masks and be true to oneself for greater advancement.

      Men should embrace vulnerability for their own personal growth and self-authenticity, rather than trying to please others or fearing being taken advantage of. Vulnerability is a liberating feeling that leads to deeper connections and personal power. It's important to focus on the benefits vulnerability brings to oneself, rather than how it may be perceived by others. The speaker shares her experience of being vulnerable and the positive impact it had on her life, including improved leadership, relationships, and personal growth. She encourages men to let go of masks and be true to themselves, as this will ultimately lead to greater advancement for future generations. The speaker also mentions her book "Mind Platter," which is a collection of her personal journal entries that she began writing while teaching refugees and healing from past pain.

    • Transforming pain into inspirationEmbrace self-discovery, resilience, and the transformative power of pain to live a full and authentic life

      Pain can be transformed into sweetness and strength. The author shares her experiences of turning personal pain into inspiration for her writing. The dedication "You are the sun" encourages readers to embrace their inner light and let others seek it out, rather than trying to force it upon them. Another favorite piece, "The day you walked into my life," explores the vulnerability of opening up to love and the importance of addressing inner pain and tidying up one's own kingdom before trying to share it with others. The three truths concept encourages living a full and authentic life, embracing both the pain and love that come with it. Overall, the author's writings emphasize the importance of self-discovery, resilience, and the transformative power of pain.

    • Embracing Authenticity: The Key to GreatnessBe true to oneself, heal from within, conquer struggles, embrace vulnerabilities, and surround oneself with supportive relationships to achieve greatness rooted in self-truth.

      Being true to oneself and owning one's story is the key to greatness. Najwa Zabian, a courageous and compassionate speaker, emphasized the importance of self-discovery and self-healing. She shared three truths: being yourself for yourself, healing from within, and conquering struggles instead of carrying them. Najwa acknowledged the bravery of sharing vulnerabilities and encouraged everyone to embrace their authenticity. Her definition of greatness is rooted in self-truth, which emanates from within and creates positive change in the world. She emphasized the importance of self-love and appreciation, surrounding oneself with supportive relationships, and staying true to one's core.

    • Discover and pursue your unique purposeTake daily steps towards your goals, live up to your potential, and make a positive impact in the world.

      Each of us has a unique purpose in life, and it's our responsibility to discover and pursue it. The speaker encourages us to remember this and take steps towards our goals every day. They express their love and support, inviting us to join them on their book tour and reminding us to get a copy of their book, "The Mask of Masculinity." Ultimately, the message is to go out and do something great with our lives. It's a call to action to live up to our potential and make the most of the time we have. The speaker's words are meant to uplift and inspire us to live purposefully and make a positive impact in the world.

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    Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse far past the level of normal experimentation. Through her programs, coaching and live events for women, Marsha is on a mission to teach you how to “Own Your Choices” in your own life.  She teaches women how to own their stories, lead themselves and pay it forward to others by creating businesses that serve, support and impact others.