Podcast Summary
Grief and coping mechanisms: Two-time Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach shares her experience of coping with grief while sober for the first time and emphasizes the importance of self-love and internal validation during difficult times.
Two-time Olympic gold medalist and FIFA World Cup champion Abby Wambach, who is known for her resilience and strength both on and off the soccer field, is currently experiencing grief over the loss of her brother. This loss, which came as a shock and was the first major tragedy in her immediate family, has led her to reevaluate her coping mechanisms and grapple with the complexities of grief while sober for the first time in her life. During their conversation on the 10% Happier podcast, Wambach also discussed the importance of moving from external to internal validation, the concept of self-love, and how every experience, even a difficult one like getting arrested for drunk driving, can be turned into something positive. Wambach, who co-hosts the award-winning We Can Do Hard Things podcast with her wife Glennon Doyle, encouraged listeners to embrace the challenges of personal growth and not forget the valuable lessons learned from podcasts, books, and other sources of inspiration.
Grief and Sobriety: Grief can lead to self-discovery and acceptance of life's uncertainties, but it may be delayed and complicated by practical matters. Sobriety can facilitate a deeper, more authentic experience of grief, enabling individuals to fully process emotions and rewrite their life stories.
Grief, following a tragedy such as a death, can open up a portal to what truly matters in life. It can be a painful and confusing experience, but it also provides an opportunity to face fears and confront the unknown. This process can be delayed, and people may focus on practical matters during the immediate aftermath. However, emotions can surface later, and it's essential to accept the uncertainty of death and the grieving process. Sobriety can enable a deeper, more authentic experience of grief, allowing individuals to fully process their emotions and rewrite their life stories.
Grief and growth: Grieving can open a portal for growth and living more presently, while acknowledging the reality of death is important to not become overly obsessed with it.
Experiencing grief and loss, even though it's painful and difficult, can be an opportunity for growth and living more fully. The speaker shares how her brother's death opened up a portal for her to confront her fear of death and live more presently. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the reality of death while not becoming overly obsessed with it. This perspective can be applied to various aspects of life, including personal growth and relationships. The speaker also mentions how every experience, even seemingly terrible ones, can provide opportunities for learning and self-discovery.
Death and Self-Love: The experiences of death and self-love can bring comfort and understanding, with self-love being a journey towards accepting one's full humanity and a powerful tool for healing from past struggles and fears of death.
The experiences of death and self-love can bring comfort and understanding. The speaker finds comfort in knowing that others have gone through the experience of death and that self-love is a journey towards accepting one's full humanity. The speaker also shares how self-love saved her life by helping her understand that it's an inside job and that true love is an acceptance of someone's full humanity. The speaker's journey towards self-love involved getting sober and learning to accept all parts of herself, even the parts that seemed less attractive or shameful. The fear of death and the desire for self-love are interconnected, and the speaker finds pride in her sobriety and the depth of her past struggles.
Self-love and acceptance: Self-love is a trainable skill that leads to increased positivity towards oneself and others, rooted in acceptance and benevolence. Personal practices like meditation, journaling, and gratitude can foster self-esteem and overall well-being.
Self-love, which involves acceptance and wanting the best for oneself, is a trainable skill that can lead to increased warmth and positivity towards oneself and others. This perspective, rooted in acceptance and benevolence, can help individuals navigate challenges, learn from past experiences, and create a more compassionate world. The speaker's personal journey of self-discovery and growth, marked by a DUI incident and subsequent therapy, demonstrates the transformative power of self-love and self-acceptance. Additionally, the speaker emphasizes the importance of identifying personal practices, such as meditation, journaling, and gratitude, that foster self-esteem and overall well-being.
Internal validation: Seeking internal validation is crucial for personal growth and resilience, allowing oneself to sit with discomfort and pain, and fostering self-compassion and self-acceptance are essential for building a strong sense of self-worth.
Focusing on building self-esteem from within rather than seeking external validation is crucial for personal growth and resilience. Self-esteem and worthiness are closely related concepts, and both are essential for emotional well-being. The speaker shares how her perspective shifted from seeking external validation to prioritizing her internal needs during a difficult period of grief. She emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to sit with discomfort and pain rather than trying to fill up a checklist of self-improvement activities. Additionally, the speaker encourages parents to let their children take ownership of their experiences, such as sports practices, to foster their self-esteem and independence. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of self-compassion and self-acceptance in cultivating a strong sense of self-worth.
Finding joy in activities: Discovering and enjoying activities we truly love leads to a more balanced and healthy lifestyle than relying on external validation or pushing through activities we hate for a dopamine rush.
Finding enjoyment and fulfillment in activities, rather than relying on external validation, is key to a balanced and healthy lifestyle. The speaker shares how they used to push themselves to endure physical activities they hated, seeking the dopamine rush afterwards. However, they realized the importance of doing things they truly enjoy, which has significantly improved their life. This shift required patience and self-reflection, as well as the understanding that motivation isn't always present. By asking oneself if one's beliefs are truly absolute, one can challenge conditioned behaviors and discover new ways of living. The speaker's openness about their personal growth, despite not being a spiritual guru, serves as a powerful teaching tool for others.
Authenticity and vulnerability: Sharing our vulnerabilities openly can lead to healing and connection with others, as seen through Abby Wambach's experience of including her DUI incident in her book and the impact of meeting Glennon Doyle.
Sharing our vulnerabilities and facing our hardships openly can lead to healing and connection with others. Abby Wambach, a retired soccer player and author, shared her experience of deciding to include her DUI incident in her book and the impact of meeting Glennon Doyle, who encouraged her to be open about her past. Wambach emphasized that everyone, including athletes, are just people trying to figure out life and that sharing our stories can help heal each other. She also highlighted the profound impact of her current work, where people come up to her and share how she's helped them, compared to her time as an athlete. Wambach co-hosts the podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" with her wife and sister-in-law, and has written a book called "Wolfpack." Overall, the conversation underscored the importance of being authentic and vulnerable, and the potential for deep connections and impact when we share our stories.
