Logo

    Bitesize: Strategies to manage RSD in relationships & at work

    enAugust 23, 2024
    What are common emotions associated with ADHD and RSD?
    How can open communication help in managing relationships?
    Why is self-compassion important for individuals with ADHD?
    What role does discussing ADHD play in workplace criticism?
    How can sharing experiences with a community be beneficial?

    Podcast Summary

    • Managing emotions with ADHD/RSDIt's normal to feel embarrassed or ashamed about managing emotions with conditions like ADHD or RSD, but acknowledging these feelings to loved ones can help them understand and provide support.

      Feeling embarrassed or ashamed about managing your emotions, especially when it involves implementing strategies to cope with conditions like ADHD or RSD, is a common experience. It's important to remember that these feelings are valid because the conditions are not within your control. You didn't choose to have them, and it's not a deliberate choice to react emotionally. Acknowledging this embarrassment to your partner or loved ones can help them better understand your experience and provide support. Remember, it's okay to ask for help and take the necessary steps to manage your emotions. The embarrassment is real, but it's essential to focus on self-compassion and understanding that you're doing the best you can with the tools you have.

    • Managing RSD in relationshipsEffective communication and emotional maturity are essential in managing Reactive Splinter Skills (RSD) in relationships. Removing oneself from the situation and communicating about it upon return can prevent escalation and promote understanding, but this process requires emotional maturity and a willingness to learn from both partners.

      Emotional maturity and effective communication are crucial in managing relationships where Reactive Splinter Skills (RSD) are present. When RSD flares up, removing oneself from the situation and communicating about it upon return can prevent escalation and promote understanding. However, this process requires emotional maturity and a willingness to learn from both partners. Lack of these qualities could be a red flag for a relationship, especially in the early stages. Over time, as partners become more comfortable with each other, they may be better equipped to handle RSD and its effects. For long-term relationships, the bulk of one's lifetime dealing with RSD and related challenges can lead to growth and greater understanding.

    • Reactive Attachment Disorder communicationCommunicating RSD to partners is vital for relationship growth. Explain causes, emphasize non-intentionality, and practice open communication to increase understanding and acceptance.

      Recognizing and communicating Reactive Attachment Disorder (RSD) is crucial for building emotional maturity and strengthening relationships. During moments of triggering, it's essential to practice explaining the condition and its causes to your partner, emphasizing that it's not intentional or personal. By doing so, partners may become more accepting and understanding of the situation. It's important to remember that improving emotional responses takes time and practice. In the heat of the moment, it might be challenging to make clear decisions, but open communication and acknowledgment of the condition can lead to a healthier and more resilient relationship.

    • Reactive Splitting Disorder apologyAcknowledging and apologizing for impulsive reactions in Reactive Splitting Disorder with genuine intent and factual explanation can help strengthen relationships.

      Effective communication and apology are crucial in managing Reactive Splitting Disorder (RSD) in relationships. When triggered, it's natural to react impulsively, but acknowledging and apologizing for those reactions with genuine intent and factual explanation can help strengthen the relationship. It's essential to understand that these reactions are not deliberate and to keep the dialogue open for improvement. The apology should focus on facts rather than feelings, and the intention behind the reaction should be addressed. Overall, consistent practice, communication, and self-awareness are key to managing RSD and fostering healthier relationships.

    • Psychological safety in relationshipsCreating psychological safety is crucial for managing Relationship Sexual Dysfunction and improving communication in both the workplace and romantic relationships. Deliver factual, clear-cut feedback and focus on performance improvement to promote safety and understanding.

      Creating psychological safety in both the workplace and romantic relationships is crucial for preventing and managing Relationship Sexual Dysfunction (RSD). Psychological safety can be challenging to achieve when dealing with recurring triggers from a boss or colleague in the workplace, often due to the way feedback is delivered. This issue can be addressed by changing the delivery style of feedback to make it factual and clear-cut, focusing on performance improvement rather than attacking the individual. While this strategy applies to romantic relationships between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, it's essential to remember that each relationship is unique, and open communication and understanding are essential. Organizations are making progress in implementing this approach, but it's still not commonplace. The importance of psychological safety extends beyond the workplace and can significantly impact personal relationships, making it a vital aspect to prioritize and cultivate.

    • ADHD and RSD communicationEffective communication is essential in relationships impacted by ADHD and RSD. Understanding and acknowledging each other's perspectives, providing empathy, and maintaining open conversations can help deepen the connection and promote growth.

      Effective communication is crucial when dealing with relationship issues related to ADHD and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RSD). It's essential to remember that our partners' perceptions of our reactions might be different from ours, and it's important to have open conversations about their feelings and experiences. These discussions can help deepen the understanding of each other's perspectives and provide opportunities for empathy and growth. It's important to acknowledge that while our reactions might be instinctual, they can be exhausting for our partners. Therefore, regular communication and check-ins can help maintain a strong connection and remind us of the reasons why we came together in the first place. Additionally, non-ADHD individuals might find it challenging to understand the complexities of these conditions, but with time and patience, they can develop a better understanding and appreciation for the unique challenges faced by their partners. Ultimately, open and consistent communication is the key to navigating the ups and downs of any relationship, and it becomes even more crucial when dealing with the complexities of ADHD and RSD.

    • Open communication in conflictsAddressing difficult situations and being open about feelings is crucial in managing conflicts and perceived attacks, especially when dealing with ADHD challenges. Approach conversations with a calm and constructive mindset and seek advice from a supportive community.

      Open communication and understanding are crucial in managing conflicts and perceived attacks in relationships, especially when dealing with ADHD challenges. The speaker shares an example of feeling attacked when a partner didn't load the dishwasher, emphasizing the importance of addressing difficult situations and being open about feelings. In the workplace, discussing ADHD with your boss can help facilitate productive conversations when facing criticism. Remember, it's essential to approach these conversations with a calm and constructive mindset, taking a step back when needed, and acknowledging that not every interaction will be perfect. Additionally, sharing your experiences and seeking advice from a supportive community can provide valuable insights and strategies for navigating challenges.

    • Professional communication, ADHD and RSDUnderstanding feelings and communication methods is crucial for effective communication between individuals with ADHD and RSD in a professional setting. Open, honest communication rooted in empathy and education can lead to productive relationships.

      Effective communication between individuals, especially in a professional setting, can be challenging, especially when considering individual differences such as ADHD and Reactive Sensitivity Dysfunction (RSD). The text discusses the importance of understanding the feelings behind communication and the potential impact of different communication methods, such as emails, on individuals with ADHD. It highlights the need for individuals to express their feelings and the potential challenges of doing so without making it feel like an attack on the other person. The text also emphasizes the importance of education and awareness in the workplace to create an environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their challenges and working towards solutions. Ultimately, the key takeaway is that open and honest communication, rooted in empathy and understanding, is crucial for building effective and productive professional relationships.

    • Timing and Clarity in FeedbackEffective feedback should be delivered at the right time, be clear about goals, and encourage growth rather than making the recipient defensive or shut down

      Effective communication in the workplace involves choosing the right timing and being clear about your goals. Feedback, for instance, should be delivered in a way that is productive and understood by the recipient. If feedback makes someone feel defensive or shut down, it may not be effective in achieving the intended outcome. Therefore, it's essential to consider the impact of your words and deliver feedback in a way that encourages growth and improvement. In summary, clear and timely communication is key to building strong professional relationships and maximizing productivity.

    Recent Episodes from ADHD Chatter

    ‘Making friends was always IMPOSSIBLE’ - Parul Singh details late AuDHD diagnosis

    ‘Making friends was always IMPOSSIBLE’ - Parul Singh details late AuDHD diagnosis

    Parul Singh opens up about her late ADHD & autism diagnosis. It’s insightful, hilarious and very relatable. Thank you Parul for sharing your incredible story with us.


    00:00 Trailer

    02:48 When was your first memory of feeling like you might have ADHD?

    11:45 And since you were last on, you were diagnosed with Autism too, so the second part of the question. When was your first memory of feeling like you have autistic traits? 

    20:36 How do you find Autism manifests itself in your social and professional life? 

    24:16 We had Jay Beech on the show who also has AuDHD and he said that the ADHD brain and the Autism brain are like 2 siblings pulling each other by the hair and dragging each other across the room, is this true for you?

    25:53 Has this more recent diagnosis made a lot of sense of previous struggles you've had in the past?

    30:55 Since your diagnosis, have you found your tribe?

    33:25 Has your diagnosis made sense to those closest to you?

    36:26 How do you communicate the everyday struggles of being AuDHD to those around you, those people by which your relationship relies heavily on your strength to communicate things to them. i.e friends, family and partner? 

    44:47 ‘Pebbling’ explained

    46:08 In general, do you find it hard to draw out empathy from a person who has a brain that just thinks in a totally different way?

    50:16 What part does "Stockholm Syndrome" play in this? And can you briefly explain what Stockholm syndrome is?

    53:00 How much of your AuDHD do you think might be caused by complex PTSD?

    56:46 The ADHD Item segment

    01:00:19 The ADHD Agony Aunt segment (Washing Machine of Woes)

    01:02:31 What is the difference between a shutdown and a meltdown? And why might one occur over the other?

    01:11:35 How have you learnt to harness both your ADHD and Autism to become a successful individual? 

    01:13:32 Does your ADHD ever mask your Autism or vice versa?

    01:14:28 What is your relationship with alcohol like at the moment and how has that journey been over the years? 

    01:16:10 The Alien scenario

    01:18:41 Most impulsive thing

    01:21:01 Signing the ‘thinks outside the box’ canvas


    Find Parul on Linkedin 👉 https://www.linkedin.com/in/parul-parallel-minds/


    This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    ADHD Chatter
    enSeptember 09, 2024

    ADHD and Narcissism: The Hidden Link You NEED To Know! - Dr Mark Rackley

    ADHD and Narcissism: The Hidden Link You NEED To Know! - Dr Mark Rackley

    Alex chats with leading psychologist, Dr Mark Rackley.


    Expect to learn the signs you're dating a narcissist, the similarities between ADHD and narcissism, and so much more.


    Topics:


    00:00 Trailer

    02:28 A broad question and not yet ADHD specific, but, what is a narcissist and is there a difference between a narcissist and someone with NPD?

    06:48 Why do you think narcissism is such a big topic in the world at the moment?

    08:27 Is genuine Narcissism or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder for audience members) common and if so, why do you think that is?

    10:10 What does a narcissist need to "survive" and what is it they’re looking for in life (and what are they looking for from people around them)?

    14:20 How does a narcissist prey on someone and what sort of people are they looking to exploit?

    16:30 Is covert narcissism different to the more mainstream narcissism we hear about and why is it particularly dangerous?

    18:21 Are narcissists afraid of being alone and what - in general terms - do you think a narcissist thinks of when they are left alone?

    20:00 What might the general timeline be for someone dating a narcissist and that dating turning into a serious relationship i.e how might narcissism show itself gradually in a romantic relationship?

    22:04 What tricks does a narcissist use to keep you on their hook if they see you as part of their "narcissistic supply”?

    24:05 ADHD Item

    27:06 Washing machine of woes

    33:09 Do narcissists know they’re narcissists?

    34:24 At what point would a narcissist begin to become self-aware that they might indeed have a problem?

    36:39 I need to voice some worries of my own! I’m on camera, I think I share some of the traits we've been talking about. I don't like being alone. I need praise to rid me of my RSD….do you think I’m a narcissist? How can I tell?!

    39:48 How can I be sure that my traits are just ADHD and not narcissism?

    43:09 Are there any other similarities someone with ADHD might have that are typical of a Narcissist, but might not be narcissism?

    45:07 If someone has an ADHD partner and they are trying to figure out if it's ADHD, or if there is something more sinister at play, what steps can they take to help try to figure it out?

    47:51 Is there a known cause for narcissism and if not, what do you think might be a factor that perpetuates it?

    49:18 How to spot a narcissist

    53:21 Can you ever change a narcissist and is it worth trying?

    54:05 Can narcissists be successful professionally?

    57:33 Successful narcissists aside, with the lower rungs of narcissism and perhaps the majority of the narcissistic population that aren't particularly high-functioning CEOs, what can that look like? Or to put it another way, what does the "everyday narcissist" look like?

    59:40 Is social media causing narcissism, or is it just the perfect tool for someone who already is a narcissist?


    Follow Dr Mark on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/drmarkrackley/


    Listen to Dr Mark's podcast 👉 https://open.spotify.com/show/2pQcITHSlR5qNUagV0jEgX


    This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    ADHD Chatter
    enSeptember 02, 2024

    “I won’t be BULLIED anymore!” - Shappi Khorsandi explores late ADHD diagnosis

    “I won’t be BULLIED anymore!” - Shappi Khorsandi explores late ADHD diagnosis

    Shappi Khorsandi explores late ADHD diagnosis and shares many lessons she’s learnt. This episode is painfully relatable, but also full of hope, humour and insight.


    Shappi is a comedian, author, speaker and advocate for human rights.


    00:00 Trailer 

    02:48 When was your earliest memory of feeling different?

    10:30 You were diagnosed at 47? Why did it take so long for you to receive a diagnosis?

    14:28 What clicked into place when you heard the words "You have ADHD"?

    26:44 You have a great analogy about Tarzan and ADHD, can you explain this for our audience?

    33:05 Being diagnosed with ADHD and being a comedian - the creative comedy mind of which is constantly flipping from thought to thought (and I'm sure the two go hand in hand) - but how did this fluid nature of the way the brain works serve in holding down jobs & relationships?

    47:52 Moving around a lot when you were younger, changing country, feeling "foreign", facing racism, having ADHD, being shy, that's a lot to deal with for someone who is likely to be emotionally sensitive? What do you think the most testing part of your life has been as far as RSD is concerned?

    53:21 What did/do your parents think about ADHD and everything that it entails?

    57:30 The ‘ADHD item’ segment 

    01:03:26 Washing machine of woes 

    01:09:01 A very personal question and one you don't have to answer of course, but what is the process of a relationship coming to an end and then the subsequent divorce like for the chaotic mind of someone with ADHD?

    01:14:33 Do you think that everything you've been through - including your late diagnosis - has helped you build your career?

    01:17:41 Where would you be in life without your sense of humour and what purpose does your sense of humour serve in softening the blow of everything we've spoken about already!

    01:19:35 A wedding day story 

    01:23:14 Being very much an outsider through Neurodivergent means and, back when you came to the UK, feeling like an outsider through race too, do you have an explanation in a nutshell that might best describe how ostracised a person would feel, and did feel, in that scenario?

    01:27:04 Most impulsive thing 

    01:31:37 Closing questions & signing the ‘thinks outside the box’ canvas 


    Buy Shappi's book 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Scatter-Brain-finally-rollercoaster-became/dp/1785044206/


    Visit Shappi's website for tour tickets 👉 https://shappi.co.uk


    This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    ADHD Chatter
    enAugust 26, 2024

    How Hormones and Menopause Impact on Women with ADHD - Adele Wimsett

    How Hormones and Menopause Impact on Women with ADHD - Adele Wimsett

    Adele specialises in supporting women to balance their hormones naturally. As a woman diagnosed at 41 with ADHD, Adele has a specialist interest in supporting girls & women with how their hormones affect their (un)diagnosed ADHD traits.


    00:00 Trailer

    01:41 Can you explain to us men what the hormones and chemicals at play are in a woman, with a focus on the ones that most prominently affect their mood?

    02:50 What is the "hormone hierarchy"?

    04:08 In our pre-chat, you said you had nicknames for the hormones, like "The Beyonce of the hormone world", what does this mean and what other nicknames do you have?

    05:30 Are there fundamental differences in the Sexes, their mood and what might these be?

    07:24 Firstly, for the uninitiated, what exactly is menopause? And is menopause particularly challenging for someone with ADHD?

    08:58 Do you think there are fundamental differences then in the way each sex exhibits symptoms of ADHD?

    10:15 What do you think can be done about this gender bias?

    11:06 The female hormone cycle and the impact it must have on their mood must be confusing at the best of times, what do you think are the most common confusions that a chemical explanation might help in their understanding of oneself?

    13:32 What does an ‘ADHD friendly’ lifestyle look like?

    15:16 What is the "Hormone MOT"?

    16:05 How does progesterone impact a person's nervous system and what effects can this have on a person's mental and physical wellbeing?

    17:53 Can people go on living their day-to-day not even realising they may be in a hormone deficiency?

    19:08 ADHD Item

    20:09 Washing Machine of Woes

    23:21 How can women naturally balance their hormones as opposed to taking medication to do so?

    25:13 Why do you think we love supplements so much and what are your thoughts on medication or supplements?

    26:08 For a man who is struggling to understand their partner's hormone cycle, what's the best bit of advice you can give them?

    29:43 Could you briefly explain the changing hormones of a young woman and onwards into post-menopause and how this might have an impact on an ADHD person psychologically?

    31:27 What is your own personal ADHD diagnosis story and how did a diagnosis help you understand yourself?

    34:58 Do you think being self aware of all of this science behind our moods is ultimately a good thing or is ignorance, to some extent, bliss?

    38:54 How to explain menstruation to a child in an age appropriate way?


    Visit Adele's website 👉 https://harmoniseyou.co.uk


    FInd ADHD Chatter on social media


    Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/adhd_chatter_podcast/?hl=en

    TikTok 👉 https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_chatter_podcast?lang=en

    Linkedin 👉 https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-partridge-9b589480/


    This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.


    This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    ADHD Chatter
    enAugust 20, 2024

    The Ultimate Guide to Dating For People with ADHD & Autism, "Hate small talk? Try these first date ideas instead!' - Jamie Johnston

    The Ultimate Guide to Dating For People with ADHD & Autism, "Hate small talk? Try these first date ideas instead!' - Jamie Johnston

    Jamie Johnston is the founder of Mattr, the first neurodivergent-friendly dating app. Jamie is also AuDHD. This makes him the most knowledgable person in the world to speak to about neurodivergent dating.


    Expect to learn solutions to the common themes that crop up around ADHD and dating, what men look for in an ADHD partner, if people with ADHD have a 'type', how to manage pre-date overwhelm, how dating apps are manipulating your brain, and so much more!


    00:00 Trailer

    01:40 When was your first memory of feeling different? 

    05:44 Do you see a common theme crop up when it comes to difficulties revolving around ADHD, Dating and friendship? 

    07:01 What do you think ADHD or AuDHD people look for in a partner? Is there a "type" they go for?

    09:09 where does your dating app differ from the more commonly known ones?

    13:48 Talk us through what happens to the ADHD brain when using dating apps.

    16:14 Talk us through what happens to the ADHD brain just before a first date with someone and why that can be addictive.

    17:40 Do modern dating apps cause a lot of self-esteem issues within an ADHD brain? 

    20:37 How are dating apps designed to keep us engaged and why is that particularly bad for someone with ADHD? 

    22:53 How do you think dating changed pre and post technology and why do so many relationships seem to fizzle out fast? 

    24:46 Your ADHD Item

    27:19 Washing machine of woes

    31:50 Do you think, from your experience, that Neurodivergents are more compatible, or at the very least, drawn to one another? 

    35:24 What do you think dating would be like for a Neurodivergent person who doesn’t know they are neurodivergent, is there a blind spot there? (I.e, does it help to know in the dating world if you have ADHD)

    38:13 What has market research told you about the common struggles of a neurodivergent looking for love? 

    44:20 What is an ideal first date location for a neurodivergent person

    49:02 What do you think guys are looking for in a partner? ADHD or otherwise?

    52:57 Do you have a message of hope for those single neurodivergents looking for love? 

    53:43 What do men tend to look for in a woman online from their dating profiles?

    56:06 Top mistakes women make on their dating profiles

    57:38 First date red flags that could suggest narcissism

    58:43 RSD and dating, how are they interlinked? 

    01:00:34 Celibacy, dating apps and the dopamine of an ADHDer. Is someone with ADHD more inclined to get distracted?

    01:03:48 Is alcohol on a first date a good idea for someone with ADHD?

    01:06:48 Do you think Ghosting and ADHD have a relationship? 


    Visit the Mattr website 👉 https://www.mattr.social


    Download Mattr 👉 https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/mattr-date-different/id6444309024?mt=8&shortlink=xr3hk6i8&c=mattr_website&pid=QR_code&af_xp=qr&source_caller=ui


    Visit Jamie's LinkedIn 👉 https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamiejohnston9033/


    FInd ADHD Chatter on social media


    Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/adhd_chatter_podcast/?hl=en

    TikTok 👉 https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_chatter_podcast?lang=en

    Linkedin 👉 https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-partridge-9b589480/


    This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    ADHD Chatter
    enAugust 12, 2024

    Bitesize | No.1 Psychologist Shares Proven Method To Stop Overcompensating & Build Self Belief

    Bitesize | No.1 Psychologist Shares Proven Method To Stop Overcompensating & Build Self Belief
    Jo Perkins is a Psychologist, Speaker, Optimisation and Neurodiversity Expert who applies the science of Psychology in all her work. In this bitesize clip, Dr. Jo explains why people with ADHD struggle with 'overcompensating', how we can manage it, and how we can all increase our self belief and beat imposter syndrome.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    ADHD Chatter
    enAugust 09, 2024