Podcast Summary
Navigating Relationships Through Personal Evolution: Effective communication and recognizing emotions are crucial when adapting to new roles in a relationship during personal or professional growth.
Any evolution or change, whether it's personal or professional, can test a relationship. Lisa Billieu, a guest on the School of Greatness podcast, shared her experience of navigating her relationship with her husband Tom as they both achieved massive success. They had been together for over 20 years when Lisa started her own show and transitioned from being a supportive wife to a full-time entrepreneur. This shift led to a difficult conversation about no longer wanting to take care of Tom in the same way. They handled this test by communicating openly and recognizing that emotions and feelings were at the heart of the issue. It took time for both parties to fully accept the new roles, but through open communication, they were able to continue growing together.
Communicating openly during relationship changes: Recognize you're making the change, give space, express why, and navigate with respect and understanding
When facing significant changes in relationships, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. This means recognizing that you are the one making the change and giving them space to process their feelings. It's important to remember that self-love and confidence are crucial in making difficult decisions. You don't have to wait to feel great about it; instead, have a game plan and express why the change is necessary. By doing so, you can navigate the transition with respect and understanding. Remember, change can be challenging, but with radical confidence and open communication, you can move forward in your relationship.
Making intentional decisions for a fulfilling marriage: Focusing on what truly matters in marriage and letting go of trivial distractions can lead to personal growth and happiness. Invest in decisions despite their flaws and re-evaluate them to ensure they continue to serve our greater good.
Making intentional decisions and letting go of trivial distractions can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced marriage. The speaker shares her experience of reducing her household chores to focus on her role as a wife and cook, which ultimately prepared her husband for a day when he had to go commando due to lack of clean underwear. This decision was part of a larger plan to support their shared dream of making movies. The speaker also reflects on how societal expectations and upbringing can influence our mindset and actions, and how breaking free from these patterns can lead to personal growth and happiness. The concept of "pot commitment" is used to illustrate the idea of investing in a decision despite its potential flaws, and the importance of re-evaluating commitments to ensure they continue to serve our greater good.
Using Gratitude to Stay Stuck: Gratitude can be a double-edged sword, preventing us from recognizing areas for improvement and taking action towards our goals. Confidence comes from action, not before, and it's important to speak up for what we want despite fear or uncertainty. A clear sense of purpose and mission can guide us through tough conversations and decisions.
While gratitude can be a powerful tool for finding contentment, it can also prevent us from recognizing and pursuing areas of our lives that need improvement. The speaker shares her experience of using gratitude to stay in an unhappy situation for eight years, convincing herself that she was still moving towards her goal. She wishes she had realized that confidence comes after taking action, not before, and that it's important to speak up for what we want, even when we're scared or uncertain. Ultimately, having a clear sense of purpose and mission can help us navigate difficult conversations and make decisions that align with our values and desires.
Assess and align with goals and values before taking action: When facing fears or challenges, take time to assess situation, align with goals and values, and use negative thoughts as opportunity for clarity and preparation.
Telling someone to "just do it" without a clear game plan or meaningful mission can be ineffective and even counterproductive. Instead, when facing fears or challenges, it's important to step back, assess the situation, and consider whether the action aligns with your goals and values. Use your negative thoughts as an opportunity to gain clarity and prepare, rather than letting them hold you back. By treating your fears as a friend and seeking support from others, you can turn the negative voice into a valuable ally on your journey towards growth and achievement.
Boost confidence and reduce anxiety with personal routine: Create a personal uniform and routine to help boost confidence and reduce anxiety before high-pressure situations. This can include finding a 'hype song,' wearing meaningful symbols or clothing, and even giving yourself affirmations or using humor to cope with mistakes.
Preparing for a high-pressure situation involves creating a personal uniform and routine to help boost confidence and reduce anxiety. This can include finding a "hype song," wearing meaningful symbols or clothing, and even giving yourself affirmations or using humor to cope with mistakes. By intentionally incorporating these elements into your pre-event routine, you can help train your mind to adopt a more positive and empowered mindset. Additionally, having a plan for handling unexpected challenges or mistakes can help alleviate fear and keep you focused during the event itself.
Overcoming self-doubt and seeking internal validation: To build confidence before starting a project, focus on the process, research thoroughly, define clear goals, and avoid tying self-worth to external validation.
Before embarking on a project or goal, it's crucial to do internal work to build confidence and avoid tying one's worth to external validation. Pat Theoret, who had already built a successful company, shared how she overcame self-doubt and anxiety about writing a book. She emphasized the importance of researching and giving it one's all, without seeking external validation as a means of self-worth. By focusing on the process and enjoying the journey, one can better handle potential failures and maintain a positive mindset. Additionally, defining clear goals and intentions can help provide a clear north star to guide the process.
Reframing Failure for a Healthy Future: Reframe failure as a learning experience, maintain balance in relationships, and communicate openly for a healthy future.
Failure and success should not define us or dictate our future actions. Instead, it's essential to reframe failure and process it healthily to avoid getting stuck or damaging relationships. Lisa's experience of growing her business, Quest Nutrition, and the impact it had on her marriage illustrates this concept. Tom, her husband, supported her success and encouraged her to create impact, regardless of popularity. However, when Lisa transitioned from being a housewife to an entrepreneur, she struggled with asserting herself and hardened, leading to tension in their relationship. Tom reminded her of the importance of maintaining a balance between being strong in business and preserving the softness and emotional connection in their relationship. It's crucial for individuals to recognize the value of open communication and understanding in their partnerships, allowing each other to express their truths and perspectives.
Navigating personal and professional relationships as business partners: Mindfully balancing roles and trying different tactics to maintain emotional connections in relationships, even when they're also business partners.
Navigating the balance between personal and professional relationships, especially when your partner is also your business partner, requires intentional effort. The speaker shares her experience of transitioning from a dominant business persona to a soft and emotionally connected partner by using opposite tactics. Wealth accumulation can also impact self-belief, but the reality of financial success may not align with preconceived notions. The speaker shares her experience of waiting months for a significant financial gain, despite the public perception of their success. Overall, the key takeaway is to be mindful of the need to navigate between different roles and to be open to trying various tactics to maintain emotional connections in relationships.
Finding meaning beyond money: Chasing passion and purpose leads to more wealth than just chasing money. Believe in yourself and emotionally connect to your dreams for true success.
Passion and purpose are more important than money. The speakers shared their experience of chasing financial success, but realizing that their mission and why they were getting up every day was more important. They flipped their mindset and stopped chasing money, which led to creating more wealth. However, even with financial success, the negative voices and imposter syndrome still existed. It's essential to believe in oneself and the value one brings to the table. The speakers emphasized the importance of emotionally tying to a dream, making it about the feeling, not just the end result. Money can't buy happiness or self-worth, and it's crucial to focus on the journey and the why behind the chase.
Neglecting health for success can lead to serious consequences: Taking responsibility for one's own wellbeing is crucial for happiness and fulfillment, rather than relying on external factors for success and validation.
Ignoring your health and wellbeing in favor of success and external validation can lead to serious consequences. The speaker shares her personal experience of neglecting her gut health for years, leading to a breakdown that forced her to take ownership of her health and redefine her idea of success. She emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's own wellbeing, rather than relying on external factors for happiness and fulfillment. This shift in perspective not only improved her health but also transformed her business mindset and relationships. Success should not dictate who we are or how we show up in the world, but rather be an amazing facilitator for creating positive impact.
Reflecting on Money and Personal Growth: Embrace failure as a reflection of growth, be open to change, and work on healing deep-rooted triggers for personal growth
Money, like a superpower, can be used for good or evil, and it doesn't define who we are. Reflecting on the past, we may wish to share lessons with our younger selves, such as embracing failure as a reflection of growth and being open to change. One area many people struggle with is healing from deep-rooted triggers. For instance, I've learned that I have a hard time crying, even in private. This is something I've been working on unwinding, and it started with my partner gently pointing it out. By embracing his feedback and identifying the root cause, I've begun the healing journey. Ultimately, life is a work in progress, and we should strive to grow and adapt, even when faced with challenges.
Suppressing emotions can harm mental and emotional health: Acknowledging emotions and giving oneself permission to feel them can lead to greater self-awareness, improved relationships, and overall well-being.
Suppressing emotions, especially for extended periods, can have negative impacts on mental and emotional well-being. The speaker shared her personal experiences of growing up in an environment where expressing vulnerability was discouraged, leading her to adopt a stoic demeanor. However, she later realized that this defense mechanism was holding her back and causing unnecessary stress. By acknowledging her emotions and giving herself permission to feel them, she was able to process grief and experience a deeper connection to herself and others. Allowing oneself the space to feel emotions in healthy ways can lead to greater self-awareness, improved relationships, and overall well-being.
The importance of acknowledging and dealing with emotions: Suppressing emotions can lead to health issues and negatively impact overall well-being. Allowing emotions to surface and using tools for emotional release can lead to healing and better mental and physical health.
Suppressing emotions and not allowing oneself to process them can lead to health issues and negatively impact overall well-being. The speaker shared personal experiences of prioritizing work over family and not fully acknowledging and dealing with emotional situations. They discovered the importance of being deliberate in allowing emotions to surface and using tools like music and memories to facilitate the process. This emotional release can lead to healing and better mental and physical health. The speaker also acknowledged the connection between emotional suppression and the body's ability to keep score, as discussed in the book "The Body Keeps the Score." Emotional agility, the ability to navigate emotions skillfully, is a valuable trait for personal growth and understanding empathy and relatability.
Embracing emotions and vulnerability for personal growth: Being mentally strong and emotionally agile makes for a powerful, attractive individual. Self-respect and self-love are essential for others to respect and love us. Confidence comes from hard work and failure, not the starting point.
Embracing emotions and allowing oneself to be vulnerable are essential parts of personal growth and becoming a powerful, impactful person. As the speaker shared, she has learned to be mentally strong and tough, but also to give herself permission to be soft, warm-hearted, and emotionally agile. This duality makes for a unique and attractive individual. The speaker also emphasized the importance of self-respect and self-love, as without it, others may not respect or love us. Confidence, she noted, is not the starting point, but rather the result of hard work and failure. The speaker's upcoming book, "Radical Confidence," explores these ideas further and offers practical tips for becoming the hero of one's own life. To learn more, check out Women of Impact on YouTube, Instagram, or social media, or visit radicalconfidence.com.
Embrace Failure and Offer Support: Embrace failure as a stepping stone to growth and confidence. Offer support to others, even if the answer is not immediate. Bring value to others and continue evolving and innovating.
We all have the power to make an impact, no matter how small our initial contribution may be. Lisa's journey is a testament to this, as she shares how she evolved from her initial path and learned to embrace failure as a stepping stone to growth and confidence. The act of reaching out and offering support, even if the answer is not immediate, can be a powerful motivator for personal growth. As Lisa puts it, "be so good they cannot ignore you." When faced with rejection, it's important to reflect on whether it's a reflection of oneself or simply not yet the right time. And, as Jamie Khan Lima's story illustrates, perseverance in the face of rejection can lead to great success. Ultimately, the goal is to bring value to others and to continue evolving and innovating, both personally and professionally.
The Power of Determination and Persistence: Set goals, work hard, don't take rejection personally, stay focused, self-improve, and never give up until you can't be ignored. Believe in yourself and practice self-love.
Determination and persistence are key to achieving greatness. The speaker shares her personal experience of pursuing an opportunity and encourages listeners to set goals, work hard, and not take rejection personally. She emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and staying focused on one's mission, even when faced with setbacks. The definition of greatness, according to the speaker, is setting a goal, putting in the necessary work, and not giving up until one cannot be ignored. She encourages listeners to keep practicing and improving until they reach their full potential. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of self-love and reminding oneself that one is loved, worthy, and matters. Overall, the message is one of resilience, determination, and the power of believing in oneself to achieve greatness.