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    E17: Marriage, Mental Health, Masturbation

    enMay 27, 2018
    What story did Steven Bartlett share from his diary?
    How did Steven feel while observing the couple on the flight?
    What important mindset does Steven emphasize for personal fulfillment?
    How does Steven view societal norms regarding marriage and education?
    What does Steven suggest about questioning societal expectations?

    Podcast Summary

    • Appreciating unexpected moments of joyReflect on and cherish unexpected moments of happiness, even if they bring up feelings of jealousy. Be open to new experiences.

      No matter where life takes us or what challenges we face, it's important to appreciate the little moments of joy and happiness that come our way. Steven Bartlett, the CEO of a global marketing media and commerce business, shared a story from his diary about observing a middle-aged couple on a flight to New York, who were flying business class for the first time and were visiting New York for the first time as well. Their excitement was contagious, and although Steven was initially happy for them, he also felt a pang of jealousy. This experience made Steven reflect on the importance of recognizing and cherishing these moments of happiness, even if they come in unexpected places. Additionally, Steven's podcast marked his return after a move from the UK to the US, and he emphasized the importance of being honest and authentic in a world of fakery. He also shared some insights into his life as a young CEO and the journey of growing a business from a bedroom to a global enterprise. Overall, this podcast episode reminded us to appreciate the little things in life and to be open to new experiences, even if they come with a hint of jealousy.

    • Preventing Hedonic Adaptation with Variety and AppreciationIntroduce variety to keep experiences fresh and focus on appreciation to maintain happiness, preventing the satisfaction treadmill of hedonistic adaptation

      Humans have a tendency to adapt to positive experiences and lose the initial excitement and euphoria they once brought. This phenomenon is known as hedonistic adaptation. To prevent this satisfaction treadmill and maintain appreciation for good things in life, it's essential to introduce variety and focus on appreciation. Variety keeps experiences fresh and unexpected, while appreciation actively shifts our focus towards being grateful for what we have. By intentionally booking economy flights and upgrading at the counter, Steve aims to increase the variety and savour the moment more, leading to a heightened sense of happiness.

    • Maximizing Current Opportunities and Healthy RelationshipsTo find lasting happiness and wealth, make the most of current opportunities, aim for healthy relationships where you're a priority, focus on personal growth, and recognize the importance of hard work in achieving goals.

      To truly experience lasting happiness and wealth, it's essential not only to seek new opportunities but also to make the most of the ones we currently have. Furthermore, in relationships, aiming to be someone's second priority, rather than their number one, can lead to healthier and more fulfilling connections. Being independent and focusing on personal growth are crucial for happiness, both alone and with a partner. Lastly, thoughts and ideas don't manifest into reality instantaneously; it's important to recognize the role of hard work and action in achieving our goals.

    • Visualization sets the direction, but execution and hard work bring ideas to lifeVisualization is important for setting goals, but it's not enough. Execution and hard work are necessary to make visualized ideas a reality. Prioritize sustainability for long-term success.

      While visualization is an essential tool for setting goals and determining direction in life, it is not enough on its own. Execution and hard work are the driving forces that bring visualized ideas to life. Relying solely on visualization can be a waste of time and energy. It's important to strike a balance between thinking about what you want to achieve and taking action to make it happen. Additionally, creating a sustainable lifestyle is crucial for long-term success. This means prioritizing relationships, health, and personal well-being alongside professional goals. Hustling non-stop without considering sustainability can lead to burnout and an unfulfilling life. Remember, visualization sets the direction, but execution and hard work are what move you forward.

    • Embrace the idea of having nothing to loseBelieving you have nothing to lose allows you to take risks, focus on relationships, and eliminate fear, leading to greater fulfillment and success

      True success isn't just about building a great business or accumulating possessions. It's about building a sustainable lifestyle and living with a mindset of having nothing to lose. This perspective, which may go against the typical entrepreneurial message, allows individuals to find happiness and achieve their goals without fear of losing what they have. By believing that they are nothing and have nothing to lose, people can take risks and focus on what truly matters to them, such as relationships and experiences. This mindset also helps to eliminate insecurity and the fear of losing possessions or pride. Ultimately, living at zero and embracing the idea of having nothing to lose can lead to greater fulfillment and success in life.

    • Reconnecting with secondary goalsWrite down reasons for secondary goals, question societal expectations, and stay true to personal happiness for a more authentic and satisfying life

      People often become disconnected from their secondary and third goals, which are essential for overall happiness and well-being. These goals, such as health and fitness, require intentional effort to stay connected to, especially when focusing on primary goals like career. Zig Ziglar said, "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily." To reconnect, actively write down the reasons why these goals are important and necessary for personal growth. Society's traditional model of life may not align with individual happiness, so it's crucial to question and create a unique blueprint for a fulfilling life. Asking "why" and being true to what makes us happy can lead to a more authentic and satisfying existence. It's easier to conform to societal expectations, but the risk of pursuing a different path, driven by heart and passion, can lead to a more meaningful and joyful life.

    • Challenging societal norms for personal happinessQuestioning societal norms can lead to personal happiness and potentially create a better world. Illustrated by high divorce rates and irrelevant degrees, the speaker encourages seeking alternatives.

      Conforming to societal norms may not lead to individual happiness or success. Using the examples of marriage and higher education, the speaker argues that many people are trapped in outdated systems that don't serve them well. The high divorce rate in marriages and the often irrelevant nature of degrees to future careers illustrate this point. Instead of accepting these norms blindly, the speaker encourages questioning why things have to be a certain way and seeking out alternatives. This mindset can lead to personal happiness and potentially contribute to creating a better world for future generations. The speaker shares his own decision to challenge societal expectations around marriage and expresses excitement about the potential discomfort this topic may cause for some listeners.

    • Our emotions and desires influenced by body chemicalsUnderstanding body chemistry can help us make sense of our emotions and desires, even when they seem inexplicable, and remind us of the complexity of the human experience.

      Our emotions and desires, including romantic feelings, are largely influenced by chemicals in our bodies. This was illustrated through the phenomenon of post-ejaculation syndrome, where a man's romantic interest can suddenly disappear after ejaculation. This understanding can be liberating, as it gives us a sense of control over our feelings and shows us that much of what we experience is not tangibly real but rather a product of our own minds. This is a fascinating reminder of the incredible complexity of the human body and mind, and how they can trick us into feeling certain ways. It's important to note that this doesn't diminish the reality of mental health issues or other deeply felt emotions. Instead, it highlights the intricacies of the human experience and the power of our bodies to shape our perceptions and actions.

    • The science of emotions: Empowering rather than scaryRecognizing emotions as chemical responses can help alleviate feelings of insecurity and embrace personal growth

      Understanding the chemical basis of emotions and feelings can be empowering rather than scary. The speaker shares how recognizing that missing someone or feeling horny are not inherently deep emotions, but rather chemical responses, can help alleviate feelings of insecurity or irrelevance. The speaker encourages listeners to leave reviews, share the podcast, and subscribe for future episodes, promising to help as many people as possible. Overall, the discussion emphasizes the importance of embracing the scientific explanation of emotions and using it as a tool for personal growth and empowerment.

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    Moment 176: 5 RED FLAGS Of A Secret Narcissist: The Narcissism Doctor

    Moment 176: 5 RED FLAGS Of A Secret Narcissist: The Narcissism Doctor
    In this moment, clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula discusses the characteristics of narcissistic individuals and how to recognise if you are in a narcissistic relationship. According to Dr. Ramani, narcissists are typically entitled, self-centred, lack empathy, and are highly socially perceptive. Early in a relationship, they can be attentive and say all the right things, but Dr. Ramani says that a shift usually occurs midway through the relationship when they become distant and passive aggressive. Dr. Ramani explains that there are key signs you can look for to determine if you are in a narcissistic relationship. By paying attention to the ‘3 Rs’ - Ruminate, Regret, and Recall - you can acknowledge the unhealthy behaviour of your partner and free yourself from the relationship. Listen to full episode here: Apple - https://bit.ly/3T06y39 Spotify - https://bit.ly/3ADaFvG Watch episode on Youtube - https://youtu.be/hTkKXDvSJvo?si=IaPSgnZc4FCAzTgQ

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