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    E418 Ask Nick - How Do I Find Love In Hookup Culture?

    enMay 09, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Trust and Clear Communication in RelationshipsTrust and clear communication are crucial in both personal and professional relationships. Be direct and clear to avoid misinterpretations, and trustworthy options can provide peace of mind.

      Trust and clear communication are essential in relationships, whether personal or professional. Kat, the founder of Ritual, shared her concern about the safety of prenatal vitamins and created a trustworthy option for pregnant women. Meanwhile, Ally spoke about her experience with Framebridge, a one-stop framing solution that made hanging artwork easy and affordable. In the business world, ShipStation was highlighted as a must-have tool for small businesses and e-commerce companies, offering affordable shipping rates and excellent customer service. During the podcast, a segment called "Texting Office Hours" was discussed, where listeners could call in with text thread conversations they were stuck on. In one situation, Kendall's passive-aggressive approach to texting led to confusion and a lack of response from her date. The experts advised Kendall to be more direct and clear in her communication to avoid misinterpretations and ensure a better outcome. Overall, the importance of trust, clear communication, and being direct was emphasized throughout the podcast, whether it was in personal relationships or in the context of businesses.

    • Chasing in Relationships: A Sign of ConfidenceIt's empowering for women to chase in relationships without being seen as desperate. Confidence and belief in a connection can lead to beautiful elements in life, despite the fear of rejection.

      It's okay for women to chase in relationships without being seen as desperate or losing power. Chasing can be a sign of confidence and belief in the potential of a connection. The stigma around chasing needs to change, and it's important to remember that power comes from being in control of one's emotions and actions, not just from being the one who initiates communication. The fear of rejection should not prevent individuals from taking risks and putting themselves out there. In fact, the gratification of pursuing a connection that leads to a beautiful element of one's life can be empowering. Ultimately, the key is to approach chasing in a respectful and aspirational way, and to remember that rejection is a natural part of the dating process.

    • The power of embracing rejectionEmbracing rejection as a form of clarity can lead to personal growth and new opportunities.

      Rejection is not a failure, but rather a form of clarity. This was a theme discussed in a book, and it resonated with Ali, who shared her experiences of feeling powerless and uncertain during moments of potential rejection. She recounted her anxiety around texting an ex-boyfriend, fearing coming across as needy or powerless. However, she learned that she did indeed have the power to communicate openly and confidently, even if it meant facing potential rejection. This theme extended to her current relationship, where she shared her apprehension about introducing her new boyfriend to her parents. Despite her fears, she found that the process was easier than anticipated, and her boyfriend expressed genuine interest in meeting them. Ultimately, the conversation highlighted the importance of embracing uncertainty and rejection as opportunities for growth and clarity.

    • Meeting significant others' parents: A normal step, not a defining momentAuthenticity and dynamic of a relationship don't change based on meeting parents; focus on the connection and growth within the relationship

      Meeting a significant other's parents should not be viewed as a milestone or a defining moment in a relationship. While it can bring added vulnerability due to the deep connection we have with our families, it does not change the authenticity or dynamic of the relationship itself. People show different sides of themselves to various groups, and meeting parents is just another opportunity to understand one another better. It's essential to remember that a relationship's progression should not be determined by external factors like meeting the family. Instead, focus on the connection, love, and growth between the individuals involved.

    • Mother-daughter bonding through open communication and mutual respectThrough open communication and mutual respect, a mother and daughter can bond despite their differences and learn from each other's experiences. Important topics like politics and relationships can deepen their understanding, while practical tips on building credit and staying stylish can add value to their lives.

      Despite having different interests and opinions, a mother-daughter duo maintains a strong bond through open communication and mutual respect. The discussion reveals how the mother's passion for politics and the daughter's new relationship are topics of conversation that don't lead to arguments but rather deepen their understanding of each other. Additionally, the mother's witty humor and the daughter's curiosity about her mother's mood create an amusing dynamic. The conversation also touches upon the importance of building credit with Chime's credit builder Visa credit card and the need for stylish athletic wear from 10,000. The mother-daughter duo's unique dynamic and the practical tips shared during their conversation provide valuable insights into the importance of open communication, mutual respect, and self-improvement.

    • Addressing Family Conflicts: Standing Up for YourselfCommunicate clearly and calmly to resolve family conflicts, rather than letting them escalate. Remember, family dynamics can be complex, so approach conflicts with empathy and understanding.

      It's important to stand up for yourself, even if it means confronting uncomfortable situations. In this case, a woman found herself in a predicament where she had paid for a family trip and wasn't reimbursed when her cousin's wedding conflicted with the trip. The woman tried to address the issue, but was met with resistance from her family. The situation escalated into a heated argument, leaving the woman feeling excluded and resentful. The incident was a culmination of years of feeling left out on family trips and unacknowledged for her contributions. The woman's reaction was defensive, and the situation could have been handled more calmly with clear communication and compromise. The incident serves as a reminder that it's important to address issues as they arise, rather than letting them build up over time. Additionally, it's crucial to remember that family dynamics can be complex, and it's essential to approach conflicts with empathy and understanding.

    • Communication and timing are vital in handling family financesMiscommunication or late notice can lead to misunderstandings and unwillingness to pay back expenses. Stand up for oneself while considering timing and open communication can help maintain relationships and find alternative solutions.

      Communication and timing are crucial in handling financial matters within families, especially when it comes to group events. Miscommunication or late notice can lead to misunderstandings and unwillingness to pay back expenses. This dynamic can be more complex in families with intricate social dynamics and power structures. It's essential to stand up for oneself while considering the how and when to confront any issues. Additionally, having open communication and finding alternative solutions, like Peloton's interactive workouts, can help maintain relationships while staying physically and mentally active.

    • Family conflicts and apologiesApologies and forgiveness require genuine effort and understanding, sometimes it's necessary to prioritize personal relationships over family conflicts.

      Apologies and forgiveness are complex, and misunderstandings can lead to prolonged family conflicts. The speaker shared an experience where a disagreement during a family trip led to a rift, and despite attempts to apologize and move on, the situation continued to escalate. The speaker's ex-boyfriend, who was not even part of the family, ended up paying for half of the trip that he didn't attend, highlighting the absurdity of the situation. Despite this, the speaker's cousin continued to exclude her from family events, leading her to prioritize her siblings and parents over her cousins. The speaker emphasized that family dynamics vary, and everyone prioritizes their relationships differently. Ultimately, the speaker learned that apologies and forgiveness require genuine effort and understanding, and sometimes, it's necessary to prioritize personal relationships over family conflicts.

    • Avoiding drama at family weddingsFocus on being present and accepting family dynamics rather than confronting past issues to maintain peace and harmony at weddings

      It may be wiser to prioritize avoiding drama at a family wedding over confronting past issues with difficult relatives. The speaker suggests that engaging in drama before the wedding could lead to more conflict and potential blame, and that it might be more productive to accept the dynamics of the family and focus on showing up and being present. The speaker also acknowledges that some family members may not treat each other as equals, and that it's important to recognize and respect each other's roles and boundaries in the family. Ultimately, the speaker suggests that everyone has a role to play in maintaining family relationships, and that it's up to each individual to decide how much they want to prioritize and engage with certain family members. The speaker also acknowledges that setting boundaries and standing up for oneself can be important, but that it's essential to consider the potential consequences and whether it's worth the potential drama.

    • Setting Boundaries in Toxic Family DynamicsFocus on showing up, avoiding giving ammunition, expressing feelings respectfully, prioritizing emotional well-being, and letting go during special occasions in dealing with toxic family dynamics.

      Setting boundaries is essential in dealing with toxic family dynamics. It's not always productive to confront the issue before it's necessary or when there are external factors involved. Instead, focus on showing up and avoiding giving them ammunition for negative interactions. If a conversation is initiated in a respectful and one-on-one setting, expressing how you feel without trying to prove them wrong can lead to resolution. Remember, family members are human and can get caught up in drama, but it's okay to take a break from those who bring negativity into your life. It's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and not invest in people who disrespect your boundaries. When faced with family drama, try to let it go during special occasions and focus on enjoying the moment.

    • Feeling pressure to find a relationship? Remember everyone's timeline is differentStay true to yourself and don't compare your dating journey to others, everyone's timeline is unique

      It's normal to feel pressure or anxiety when it comes to dating, especially when you see your friends finding success in their relationships. However, it's important to remember that everyone's timeline is different, and there's no need to rush or put undue pressure on yourself. Additionally, there are plenty of people who share your values and preferences when it comes to dating and relationships, even if it doesn't always feel that way. The speaker also emphasized the importance of self-confidence and taking things easy on oneself. In the context of hookup culture, they advised that there are plenty of people who prefer to take things slow and prioritize getting to know someone before taking things physical. Overall, the key takeaway is to focus on being true to yourself and not comparing your journey to others.

    • Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of Dating in Your TwentiesTake your time to qualify potential partners and find mutual interest early on. Don't rush into a relationship, it's okay to be selfish and keep meeting new people to learn about yourself and what you want in a partner.

      Dating in your twenties can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions, from the excitement of finding someone new to the heartbreak of a breakup. It's important to not put too much pressure on yourself and avoid uncomfortable or unsafe situations. Dating experiences can vary, with some people liking each other but not feeling mutual interest, or one person liking the other more. It's normal to feel disappointed when things don't work out, but it's also a learning experience. A mature approach to dating is to take the time to qualify potential partners and find out if there's mutual interest early on. Don't feel the need to rush into a relationship just because someone seems nice or fits certain criteria. Remember, you're only 20 and there's a lot to learn about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner. It's okay to be selfish and keep meeting new people to figure it out.

    • Focus on personal growth during collegeUse college years to pursue dreams, meet people, and broaden experiences, as dating could distract from personal growth

      During your college years, it's essential to focus on personal growth and pursuing your dreams before committing to a serious relationship. The speaker suggests that a boyfriend or girlfriend could potentially distract you from your goals and passions. Instead, use this time to meet various types of people and broaden your experiences. Keep in mind that everyone's priorities change, and it's normal not to have everything figured out at 20. Some people might prioritize dating because they're unsure about their future plans. Ultimately, embrace the freedom to explore your passions and maintain a balanced perspective on dating. It's a chance to grow and discover what truly matters to you.

    • Don't rush into relationships, focus on personal growthFocusing on personal goals and growth is more important than finding a boyfriend at a young age. Consider qualities in partners and invest energy wisely based on mutual feelings and compatibility.

      Focusing too much on having a boyfriend at a young age, especially when you have personal ambitions and goals to focus on, can be a waste of time and energy. It's important to prioritize your own growth and not put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. The speaker suggests that when you do date, consider what qualities you like and don't like in a partner, and don't stress about being too picky. The friends with benefits relationship discussed in the conversation can be a learning experience, helping individuals understand what they want in a relationship and what they're willing to accept. Ultimately, investing your energy in someone should be based on mutual feelings and compatibility, rather than societal pressure or fear of being alone.

    • Navigating Ambiguous RelationshipsCommunication is key in clarifying intentions and avoiding emotional harm in ambiguous relationships. Both parties should openly discuss their feelings and intentions to define the relationship and prevent confusion.

      The speaker and her partner have been engaging in a casual relationship with no strings attached, but both have developed feelings for each other. However, the partner is hesitant to commit due to fear of ruining what they have. The speaker is confused and feels that they might as well date officially given their level of involvement in each other's lives. The partner has mentioned sleeping with someone else and expressing feelings for the speaker, but the relationship remains undefined. The speaker acknowledges that what they had was enjoyable but no longer exists due to the evolved feelings between them. It's essential to communicate openly about feelings and intentions to avoid confusion and potential harm to emotional well-being.

    • Navigating complex relationship situationsUnderstand that feelings and priorities change, respect each other's decisions, and prioritize your mental health.

      When dealing with a complex relationship situation, it's important to understand that people's feelings and priorities can change. If you find yourself in a situation where you want more commitment but your partner is not ready, it may be necessary to make a choice and potentially end the relationship or force the other person to make a decision. However, this can be a difficult and sad process, especially if there is a strong friendship involved. Ultimately, it's essential to respect each other's feelings and make a decision based on what is best for both parties. It's also important to remember that people's actions don't always reflect their true feelings, and it may take time and effort to determine if the other person's hesitance is a reflection of their overall feelings towards you or just a current phase in their life. In the end, it's crucial to prioritize your mental health and overall well-being, even if it means letting go of something that was once important to you.

    • Setting boundaries and sticking to themCommunicating feelings calmly and confidently, even if it leads to heartbreak, is better than letting an unhealthy relationship drag on. Prioritize yourself and take back control.

      Setting boundaries and enforcing them, even if it's difficult, can help you feel good about your decisions and prioritize your needs. It may lead your partner to evaluate their priorities and potentially come around. Don't let them manipulate or pressure you into compromising your needs. Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself and communicate your feelings calmly and confidently. It's better to face heartbreak with some control and power rather than letting it drag on with no end in sight. It's a painful process, but you can be proud of yourself for taking a stand and taking back your power. It's important to recognize that you deserve to have your needs met in a relationship and that it's okay to walk away if they're not being met. It's a crucial step towards healing and finding a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

    • Setting healthy boundaries in relationshipsSetting healthy boundaries is crucial for personal growth and self-respect. Don't compromise them, even if it means ending a relationship. Seek outside perspectives and prioritize emotions to make logical decisions.

      Setting healthy boundaries in relationships is essential for personal growth and self-respect. It's important not to compromise these boundaries, even if it means ending a relationship. The speaker acknowledges the pain that comes with making such a decision but emphasizes that giving in during moments of weakness can lead to regret and disappointment. Additionally, seeking outside perspectives and being logical about the situation can help clarify one's feelings and priorities. Ultimately, prioritizing one's own emotions and not letting fear or societal pressure dictate decisions is crucial for personal happiness and growth.

    • Buckle up to save lives in MichiganWearing a seat belt reduces the risk of death in vehicle crashes by 45% or more, saving around 1000 lives annually in Michigan.

      Every year in Michigan, around 1000 lives are lost due to vehicle crashes. However, wearing a seat belt can significantly reduce the risk of death in such incidents by 45% or more. This simple action can make a significant difference in ensuring safety for yourself and others on the road. The Michigan Office of Highway Safety Planning encourages everyone to buckle up and make our imperfect world a safer place.

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    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by responding to our previous Ask Nick’s comments. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller is wondering if she should tell a coworker about his girlfriend’s affair. Our second caller feels like her boyfriend goes mute around her family. And, our third caller wants to move, but her boyfriend wants to stay close to his family. 

    “You’re literally talking to a version of your boyfriend right now”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 24, 2024

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap.

    This is a fun episode! Brian Baugartner, from the Office, joins us to talk all things barbecue and build his perfect reality tv cast. Meanwhile, Stevan Ditter from Perfect Match zooms in to talk all things drama in the villa… How was his experience? How is he with Alara? What is he doing now? 

    “We have to ask you, did he kiss Melinda?” 

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    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:59 - Household Headlines
    07:40 - Rihanna
    09:46 - Stay At Home GF
    13:33 - Icks
    17:46 - Filming
    18:37 - Proposals
    24:13 - 90 Day Fiance
    27:19 - Gypsy Rose
    29:19 - Clayton
    32:33 - Love Island
    42:02 - Welcome Brian
    01:03:26 - Getting Grilled
    01:11:40 - TikTok
    01:13:33 - Build Your Burger
    01:24:40 - Reality TV
    01:28:45 - Book Promo
    01:33:03 - The Office
    01:35:29 - Perfect Match
    01:36:50 - Stevan
    01:56:51 - Perfect Match Final Thoughts
    02:03:09 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 20, 2024

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we start off with Nick’s first Father’s Day. Then we get to our drama: Kenya Moore being indefinitely suspended from the current season of RHOA, Football Player, Isaiah Bugs being arrested AGAIN, and Lindsay Hubbard being grilled at the Summer House Reunion Part 2. Meanwhile, Elys Hutchinson from Perfect Match joins us to talk about her experience on the show!

    “you know what? I was wrong.”

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    Timestamps:
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    43:28 - Jenn’s Men
    01:08:55 - Picking Noses
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    02:02:19 - More Perfect Match
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    02:11:46 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 18, 2024

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by addressing your gentle parenting responses and diving into the ideal dating expectations of men. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller wants to shoot her shot with a professional athlete. Our second caller is back with her ex, and is afraid to tell her parents. Finally, our third caller is thriving in her occupational industry but is afraid it turns off the men she’s dating.

    “As a woman who’s very successful and passionate about her career, that should never feel like a negative for you”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 17, 2024

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Summer House’ West Wilson. 

    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    05:48 - Household Headlines
    12:23 - Love Island
    17:57 - Summerhouse Drama
    21:05 - Captain Lee
    25:39 - Sleep Training
    31:08 - Age
    34:28 - Tolú Interview
    57:10 - Feedback
    01:10:22 - West Interview
    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

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