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    E424 Ask Nick - Can’t Date Me Because He’s “Dating” His Cousin

    enMay 23, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • At-home manicure with Olive and June vs Communication in RelationshipsOlive and June offers a cost-effective and convenient solution for salon-quality press-on nails at home. In relationships, prioritizing consistent and meaningful communication is crucial for growth and progression.

      Olive and June offers a convenient and affordable solution for achieving salon-quality press-on nails at home. The brand's kits provide all the necessary steps for a manicure, and their long-lasting nails stayed on during a bowling session. Meanwhile, in a different conversation, Allie shared her experience with a potential romantic interest. Despite putting herself out there multiple times, she felt that their communication lacked consistency and depth. Although he always responded, the conversations never progressed beyond apologies for lack of contact. After considering the situation, Allie decided it was reasonable to move on. In summary, Olive and June provides a reliable and cost-effective option for perfecting your at-home manicure, while Allie learned that it's essential to prioritize communication and consistency in relationships.

    • Understanding a person's living situation and financial choicesA person's living situation and financial choices can reveal insights into their priorities, but it's crucial to consider other factors and approach each situation with empathy and understanding.

      Living situations and financial choices can provide insights into a person's life stage and priorities. A man's decision to live with his parents at 28 years old, despite having the means to live independently, might raise some questions. It could indicate a focus on saving money or a preference for living at home. However, it's essential to consider other factors, such as career dedication and individual financial situations. Ultimately, it's important not to jump to conclusions and to approach each person's situation with empathy and understanding. In the given context, the speaker's defensive and dismissive attitude towards the man might have hindered the relationship's progression. By acknowledging her role in the situation and being open to reconciliation, she can learn from her experience and potentially reevaluate her approach to future interactions.

    • Expressing Interest in a RelationshipCommunicate openly and honestly about feelings and goals to deepen understanding in a relationship. Priorities may change, but adapting and discussing them can strengthen the bond.

      Relationships evolve, and it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and goals. In this conversation, the speaker shared her experience of expressing her interest and excitement in a relationship without being overbothering, leading to a deeper understanding between her and her boyfriend. Additionally, the topic of settling down was discussed, revealing that despite their desire to start a family, they both recognized that their current priorities lie elsewhere. The speaker also shared the positive experience of introducing her boyfriend to her parents and the potential ease of holiday celebrations with their proximity. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of open communication and adapting to the changing dynamics of a relationship.

    • Balancing present desires with future possibilitiesThe speaker emphasizes the importance of considering the impact of current decisions on future self, and shares personal experiences of making choices that prioritize long-term benefits over short-term gratification.

      The speaker values considering her future self when making decisions in the present. She sees the importance of balancing current wants with potential future possibilities. The speaker shares her fear of making choices that could negatively impact her future self. This mindset has guided her decisions throughout her life, including her approach to texting and relationships. Additionally, the podcast offers advice on drafting important texts and shares success stories. They also have upcoming episodes on the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial and a surprise guest. The podcast also promotes a service called Storyworth, which helps families collect and compile stories from their loved ones into a keepsake book. Lastly, they mention ShipStation, a shipping solution that offers discounts typically reserved for large corporations to small businesses.

    • Navigating Complex Relationships: A Story of Friendship, Love, and Emotional TurmoilCommunication and honesty are crucial in relationships. Hidden feelings can lead to emotional pain and conflict. Consider the potential impact of actions on others.

      People sometimes find themselves in complex relationships that can involve difficult decisions and emotional turmoil. Mackenzie's story illustrates this as she navigated a friendship with a man who was unhappily married and eventually became romantically involved with him, despite the complications and potential negative consequences. Another key takeaway is the importance of communication and honesty in relationships. Mackenzie's boyfriend kept his unhappiness and desire to leave his marriage hidden from his wife, which led to a difficult situation for all involved. If he had been open and honest about his feelings, it could have potentially prevented some of the emotional pain and conflict. Lastly, the story highlights the importance of considering the potential impact of our actions on others. Mackenzie was aware that her involvement with her boyfriend could hurt his wife, but she also couldn't deny her feelings for him. It's important to consider the ripple effects of our actions and make decisions that minimize harm to others whenever possible. In the end, Mackenzie and her boyfriend decided to pursue a relationship, but it was not without challenges and emotional complexity. The experience taught Mackenzie valuable lessons about relationships, communication, and the importance of being true to oneself.

    • The consequences of being in a relationship with an uncommitted partnerFriendships can suffer when in a relationship with an uncommitted partner, potentially causing emotional distress and straining friendships. Committed relationships lead to emotional stability and better friendships.

      Being in a relationship with someone who is not fully committed can lead to a vicious cycle of breaking up and getting back together, causing emotional distress and straining friendships. The speaker's relationship with a married man resulted in repeated fights and ultimately led to her two closest friends distancing themselves from her. While she initially felt upset about losing the friendship, she later realized that her friends were setting boundaries out of concern for her well-being. Despite the man's promises to get divorced, he had not taken any action for over 20 years, leaving the speaker feeling frustrated and resentful. The situation highlighted the importance of being in a healthy, committed relationship and the potential consequences of staying in an unfulfilling one.

    • Friends' concern for a friend's relationshipFriends may express concern for a relationship based on behavior and character, not just age difference. Addressing uncomfortable issues can lead to positive outcomes, such as improving health or relationships.

      Friends may express concern for a relationship out of care and love, regardless of their opinion on the relationship itself. In the discussed situation, the friends were concerned about their friend's involvement with a married man and felt compelled to speak up. They believed the age difference was irrelevant and focused on the man's behavior and character. Meanwhile, the friend felt hung up on the age difference. Another key takeaway is the convenience of using apps like Zocdoc to find and book doctor appointments. The process is quick and efficient, allowing users to read reviews, compare doctors, and find available appointments in a matter of minutes. Lastly, the importance of addressing issues, no matter how uncomfortable, was emphasized. Whether it's a relationship concern or a health matter, taking action can lead to positive outcomes.

    • Investing in valuable relationships and itemsEvaluate relationships based on actions and character, set higher expectations, and invest in valuable experiences with confidence.

      Having the right kind of "baggage" can lead to great experiences, such as investing in a high-quality, durable suitcase with a 100-day trial from Away. This discussion also emphasizes the importance of evaluating relationships based on actions and character rather than holding onto hope for change. The speaker shares her personal experience of feeling hopeful in a relationship but realizing that the list of things she was grateful for was much shorter than the list of things she hoped would change. She encourages setting higher expectations for oneself and recognizing the value of healthy relationships. The Away suitcase example serves as a metaphor for investing in valuable items and experiences, and the company's generous trial period reflects their confidence in their product's ability to win customers over.

    • Recognize your worth and set boundariesEmpower yourself to break free from toxic relationships and prioritize your happiness by recognizing your worth and setting boundaries.

      When it comes to toxic relationships, it's essential to recognize your worth and set boundaries. If you find yourself in a situation where you're being treated poorly, it's crucial to prioritize your mental health and well-being. This may involve cutting ties with the toxic person and seeking support from friends or therapy. It's important to remember that you have the power to make choices for yourself and enforce your boundaries, even if it feels challenging. The speaker emphasized the importance of recognizing your own strength and taking action, rather than waiting for things to change on their own. They also suggested focusing therapy on building the confidence and skills needed to follow through with enforcing boundaries and choosing yourself. Ultimately, the key takeaway is that you have the power to break free from toxic relationships and prioritize your own happiness.

    • Communicating openly and cautiously in relationshipsEffective communication and a healthy dose of caution can help navigate potential relationship challenges, but assumptions should not be made without all the facts.

      Being cautious in relationships can be important, especially when past experiences have not worked out. However, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about any concerns or issues that arise. In this case, the speaker's attempt to help her boyfriend address his concerns about her coworker led to a misunderstanding and ultimately a break in their relationship. It's also important to remember that everyone's dynamic with their family members and friends can be different, and assumptions should not be made without all the facts. Overall, effective communication and a healthy dose of caution can help navigate potential relationship challenges.

    • Past relationships and jealousy shape current dynamicsPeople's past relationships can create complex dynamics in current ones due to jealousy and mistrust, even when the past partners are no longer involved.

      Some people's past relationships have shaped their current ones in unexpected ways. In this case, the person sharing their story described how their partners and even a coworker had been jealous of their close relationship with their cousin, leading to restrictions on their communication and time spent together. This pattern continued even after these relationships ended, creating a complex dynamic in the new relationship the person is currently in. The cousin dynamic adds an extra layer of complexity, as the new partner is now competing for attention and trying to find a balance. While it's unclear why exactly the past partners were jealous, it's evident that these experiences have created a sense of mistrust and insecurity. Overall, this story highlights the importance of understanding the complexities of people's past relationships and how they can impact the present.

    • Unusual Relationship Dynamics: Cousins and PartnersCommunication and understanding are crucial in relationships, especially those with unconventional dynamics. Be cautious and consider labeling the relationship to move forward.

      The speaker is experiencing discomfort and confusion in a new relationship where the partner has an intense, unexplained connection with his cousin. The speaker finds it odd that they cannot have a straightforward conversation about the nature of their relationship and that there are frequent jokes and negative comments from others. The speaker wonders if there is something inappropriate happening and feels the need to understand the dynamic or distance themselves from the situation. The underlying issue seems to be that the cousin holds significant power and control over the partner, and the relationship may not be worth the potential drama and complications. The speaker suggests labeling the relationship as unique and moving forward with caution. Ultimately, the speaker's concerns highlight the importance of clear communication and understanding in relationships, particularly those that raise eyebrows or cause discomfort.

    • Different attachment styles causing issues in Jen's relationshipConsider prioritizing career and personal growth over a relationship with maturity issues and low potential.

      The relationship between Jen and her boyfriend, who is 10 years older and they work together, has been facing issues due to their different attachment styles - anxious and avoidant respectively. Despite his initial attentiveness and kindness, their relationship has taken a backseat to his career advancement. The cousin's involvement in their relationship and the drama it brings adds to the complexity of the situation. Given the maturity issues, immaturity, and the likelihood of the relationship turning into something legitimate being low, it may be worth reconsidering the investment in this relationship. The advice is to prioritize your career and personal growth over this relationship, and consider having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your concerns.

    • The importance of emotional support in relationshipsClearly communicate your needs and feelings, and don't expect your partner to have all the answers. It's okay to ask for a simple gesture like a hug during difficult times.

      Communication and emotional support are crucial in a healthy relationship. The speaker shared an experience where her partner failed to provide comfort during a family crisis, leaving her feeling ignored and invalidated. She compared this behavior to her previous relationship, where she was taught to suppress her feelings. The pattern continued for several months until she started expressing her needs and asking for what she wanted in the moment. However, her partner's response was to make jokes or change the subject, which further hurt the speaker. She is unsure if he intentionally ignores her feelings or if he is simply unable to respond appropriately. Ultimately, the speaker learned that it's essential to communicate clearly and directly with her partner about her needs and feelings, and not to expect him to have all the answers. She also realized that it's okay to ask for a simple gesture like a hug and presence during difficult times.

    • Understanding each other's perspectives in relationshipsEffective communication, empathy, patience, and open dialogue are essential in maintaining healthy relationships. Couples therapy can help improve understanding and resolve conflicts.

      Effective communication and understanding are crucial in relationships. The speaker in this conversation has experienced frustration and hurt due to their partner's behavior, which they perceive as insensitive and dismissive. However, the partner may not intend harm and could be struggling with their own emotional challenges. The speaker suggests that couples therapy could be beneficial to help both parties understand each other's perspectives and work on resolving conflicts. The speaker also acknowledges their own role in the dynamic and the importance of not "trauma dumping" on their partner. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the importance of empathy, patience, and open dialogue in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    • Exploring compatibility in relationshipsEffective communication and effort from both parties are crucial for overcoming incompatibilities and building a strong connection in relationships.

      Relationships require effort from both parties to overcome incompatibilities and build a strong connection. In the discussed situation, the speaker identified some issues in her relationship that were impacting her partner's freedom and potentially their compatibility. She attempted to create some distance to gain clarity and see if he would notice her absence. However, he did not seem to notice, leading her to question their compatibility. It's essential for both individuals to communicate openly about their concerns and work together to find solutions. Healthy relationships require both parties to build a bridge to overcome incompatibilities and find common ground. If one person is unwilling to participate, the relationship may not be sustainable. The speaker is now considering seeking couples therapy to address these issues and work towards a solution.

    • Addressing Relationship UncertaintyIf one person isn't willing to prioritize the relationship or work through conflicts, it may not be worth continuing. Seek professional help or consider ending it to find a fulfilling relationship.

      If you're in a relationship where both parties are unsure about the future, it's important to address the issues and decide whether to seek professional help or consider ending the relationship. If one person isn't willing to prioritize the relationship or make an effort to work through conflicts, it may not be worth continuing. It's crucial to remember that love isn't enough if the incompatibility is too great. You're young, and your time is valuable, so don't waste it on a relationship that isn't fulfilling for both parties. If you've tried to work through issues on your own and haven't made progress, it might be time to consider other options. Ultimately, the goal is to find a relationship that brings happiness and fulfillment to both individuals.

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 24, 2024

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap.

    This is a fun episode! Brian Baugartner, from the Office, joins us to talk all things barbecue and build his perfect reality tv cast. Meanwhile, Stevan Ditter from Perfect Match zooms in to talk all things drama in the villa… How was his experience? How is he with Alara? What is he doing now? 

    “We have to ask you, did he kiss Melinda?” 

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:59 - Household Headlines
    07:40 - Rihanna
    09:46 - Stay At Home GF
    13:33 - Icks
    17:46 - Filming
    18:37 - Proposals
    24:13 - 90 Day Fiance
    27:19 - Gypsy Rose
    29:19 - Clayton
    32:33 - Love Island
    42:02 - Welcome Brian
    01:03:26 - Getting Grilled
    01:11:40 - TikTok
    01:13:33 - Build Your Burger
    01:24:40 - Reality TV
    01:28:45 - Book Promo
    01:33:03 - The Office
    01:35:29 - Perfect Match
    01:36:50 - Stevan
    01:56:51 - Perfect Match Final Thoughts
    02:03:09 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 20, 2024

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we start off with Nick’s first Father’s Day. Then we get to our drama: Kenya Moore being indefinitely suspended from the current season of RHOA, Football Player, Isaiah Bugs being arrested AGAIN, and Lindsay Hubbard being grilled at the Summer House Reunion Part 2. Meanwhile, Elys Hutchinson from Perfect Match joins us to talk about her experience on the show!

    “you know what? I was wrong.”

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:55 - Father’s Day
    08:11 - Housekeeping
    11:40 - RHOA
    19:38 - Football
    22:03 - Bachelor Credit
    23:04 - Red Lobster
    30:33 - The Apprentice
    43:28 - Jenn’s Men
    01:08:55 - Picking Noses
    01:14:59 - Summerhouse
    01:33:39 - Perfect Match
    01:40:19 - Elys Joins
    02:02:19 - More Perfect Match
    02:06:20 - RHONJ
    02:11:46 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 18, 2024

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by addressing your gentle parenting responses and diving into the ideal dating expectations of men. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller wants to shoot her shot with a professional athlete. Our second caller is back with her ex, and is afraid to tell her parents. Finally, our third caller is thriving in her occupational industry but is afraid it turns off the men she’s dating.

    “As a woman who’s very successful and passionate about her career, that should never feel like a negative for you”

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 17, 2024

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Summer House’ West Wilson. 

    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

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     Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    05:48 - Household Headlines
    12:23 - Love Island
    17:57 - Summerhouse Drama
    21:05 - Captain Lee
    25:39 - Sleep Training
    31:08 - Age
    34:28 - Tolú Interview
    57:10 - Feedback
    01:10:22 - West Interview
    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

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