Episode #12: Interview With Santa Claus

When men think about optimizing their hormones, they tend only to think about raising their testosterone. But while increasing T can be important, an ideal health profile also means having testosterone that's in balance with your other hormones as well.

Today on the show, Dr. Kyle Gillett joins me to discuss both of those prongs of all-around hormone optimization. We start with a quick overview of the different hormones that affect male health. We then get into what qualifies as low testosterone and how to accurately test yours. We also discuss what causes low testosterone in individual men, and how its decline in the general male population may be linked to both birth control and the world wars. In the second half of our conversation, we discuss how to both raise testosterone and get rid of excess estrogen, including the use of some effective supplements you may never have heard of. We then get into the risks and benefits of taking TRT, before ending our discussion with what young men can do to prepare for a lifetime of optimal T and hormonal health.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM series on testosterone, including How I Doubled My Testosterone Levels Naturally
• AoM Podcast #761: How Testosterone Makes Men, Men
• AoM Podcast #878: The Fitness Supplements That Actually Work 

Connect With Dr. Kyle Gillett

• Kyle on IG
• Gillett Health Podcast on Spotify and Apple
• Gillett Health on YouTube
• Gillett Health website

A lot of self-improvement advice and content feels empty. And there's a reason for that. It often offers routines and habits to practice, but doesn't offer a strong, overarching reason to practice them.

That's why the self-improvement advice of the Founding Fathers is particularly compelling. Though they were imperfect men, they had a clear why for trying to become better than they were. For the Founders, life was about the pursuit of happiness, and they equated happiness with excellence and virtue — a state that wasn't about feeling good, but being good. The Founders pursued happiness not only for the personal benefit in satisfaction and tranquility it conferred, but for the way the attainment of virtue would benefit society as a whole; they believed that political self-government required personal self-government.

Today on the show, Jeffrey Rosen, a professor of law, the president of the National Constitution Center, and the author of The Pursuit of Happiness, shares the book the Founders read that particularly influenced their idea of happiness as virtue and self-mastery. We talk about the schedules and routines the Founders kept, the self-examination practices they did to improve their character, and how they worked on their flaws, believing that, while moral perfection was ultimately an impossible goal to obtain, it was still something worth striving for.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM's series on Benjamin Franklin's 13 Virtues
• Ben Franklin Virtues Journal available in the AoM Store
• AoM Article: Young Benjamin Franklin’s Plan of Conduct
• AoM Article: Thomas Jefferson’s 10 Rules for Life
• AoM Article: The Libraries of Famous Men — Thomas Jefferson’s Recommended Reading
• AoM Article: The Best John Adams Quotes
• AoM Article: George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation
• AoM Podcast #366: Teach Yourself Like George Washington
• AoM Article: The Spiritual Disciplines — Study and Self-Examination
• Tusculan Disputations by Marcus Tullius Cicero
• The Golden Verses of Pythagoras 

Connect With Jeffrey Rosen

• The National Constitution Center website 
• We the People podcast
• Jeffrey's faculty page
• Jeffrey on X

Friendships are a central part of the lives of both men and women. But from personal observation, you've probably noticed that the dynamics of male and female friendships aren't always the same. You may not, however, have been able to articulate what those differences are or have known what's behind them.

While there's still a lot of facets of friendship that haven't yet been researched, Dr. Jaimie Krems, who runs UCLA's Social Minds Lab, has a lot of interesting insights about what we do know about how and why men and women approach friendship differently. Today on the show, she explains why men and women form friendships and the differences in the size and nature of their social circles, how long their friendships last, and what they look for in friends. We also discuss why men have a greater tolerance for their friends' flaws than women do, why men and women would want to be friends with each other, and how each sex experiences friendship jealousy.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• The Banker's Paradox
• Joyce Benenson's research on "Males' Greater Tolerance of Same-Sex Peers"
• Jaimie's research on women's interpretation of disgust faces
• Jaimie's study: "Friendship Jealousy: One Tool for Maintaining Friendships in the Face of Third-Party Threats?"
• AoM Podcast #229: How Men and Women Socialize Differently
• AoMPodcast #360: Understanding Male Friendships
• AoM Podcast #726: What’s Causing the Male Friendship Recession?
• AoM Podcast #772: How Long Does It Take to Make Friends (And How Does That Process Work, Anyway)?
• AoM Article: How Not to Be Disappointed With Your Friends

Connect With Jaimie Krems

• The Social Minds Lab at UCLA
• Jaimie's faculty page
• Jaimie on X

Businesses and individuals often feel overwhelmed and stretched — that they can't get done all the work they need to. The solution they frequently turn to is finding a new app to use or hiring more employees to spread the load.

But my guest would say that you can steal back hours of productive time simply by using the tools and teams you have now, if you learn to use them in a more efficient way.

Nick Sonnenberg is the founder and CEO of Leverage, an efficiency consulting business and the author of Come Up for Air: How Teams Can Leverage Systems and Tools to Stop Drowning in Work. Today on the show, Nick explains how people spend almost 60% of their time doing work about work, and why hiring more people can actually make the problem worse rather than better. He then shares his "CPR Business Efficiency Framework," and how making changes in how you communicate, plan, and manage resources can open up hours of time. We talk about how to organize your communication channels so your work day isn't taken up by what Nick calls "The Scavenger Hunt," one of the most underutilized tools for taming your inbox, how to stop wasting time on meetings, and tiny changes that will add up to many hours saved each year. Along the way, we talk about how some of these tactics can save you time in your personal life as well.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #689: Email Is Making Us Miserable — Here’s What to Do About It
• AoM Podcast #972: Down With Pseudo-Productivity — Why We Need to Transform the Way We Work
• AoM Podcast #973: A Butler’s Guide to Managing Your Household
• Teach Your Wife to Be a Widow by Donald I. Rogers
• "Saving Seconds Is Better Than Hours" — Time article by Nick
• Texts.com
• Workona tab manager

Connect With Nick Sonnenberg

• Come Up for Air website
• Leverage website
• Nick on LinkedIn
• Nick on IG
• Nick on X

Fifteen years and more than 200 million downloads later, this episode marks the 1,000th installment of the Art of Manliness podcast! It begins with a bit of a retrospective on the podcast and then segues into an interview with one of the show's earliest guests: Walker Lamond, author of Rules for My Unborn Son. Walker and I revisit the origins of the book and the early days of the internet and have a fun discussion of which of his rules have become obsolete and which remain evergreen. Tune in and enjoy!

A big thanks to our listeners for helping us reach this cool milestone. The support is deeply appreciated!

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Rules for My Unborn Son by Walker Lamond
• Rules for My Newborn Daughter by Walker Lamond
• Walker's Motel: The Starlight Motor Inn
• The podcasts Walker writes/produces for:
  • Anatomy of Murder
  • Cold Blooded
• Related AoM articles:
  • Dressing for Others
  • Flying Is for the Birds
  • My New Favorite Summertime Shoe
  • Why Every Man Should Have 3 Signature Dishes
  • In Praise of the Postcard
  • The Art of Thank You Note Writing
  • The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Your Social Fitness
• Related AoM Podcasts
  • #1: We Who Are Alive and Remain
  • #7: Rules for My Unborn Son 
  • #78: The Myth of Following Your Passion
  • #174: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Style
  • #708: Overcome the Comfort Crisis

Plenty of famous explorers and frontiersmen emerged from America's periods of expansion and exploration, and today the likes of Daniel Boone, Kit Carson, and Davy Crockett remain household names.

You're probably not familiar, but should be, with the name of another prominent pioneer: Jedediah Smith. Smith was a hunter, trapper, writer, cartographer, mountain man, and explorer who notched a lot of firsts: He was the first to lead a documented exploration from the Salt Lake frontier to the Colorado River and was part of the first parties of U.S. citizens to cross the Mojave Desert, the Sierra Nevada, and the Great Basin Desert. Having survived three attacks by Native Americans and one mauling by a grizzly bear, Smith's explorations became resources for those who followed after and led to the use of the South Pass as the dominant route across the Continental Divide for pioneers on the Oregon Trail.

In the new book he co-authored, Throne of Grace: A Mountain Man, an Epic Adventure, and the Bloody Conquest of the American West, my guest, Bob Drury, uses the oft-forgotten Smith as a guide to an oft-forgotten period in American history. Today on the show, Bob paints a picture of a volatile American landscape in which trappers and Native Americans collided and clashed in the early decades of the 19th century. We discuss how the Lewis and Clark expedition created a lust for adventure among young men, how the humble beaver played an outsized role in settling the Western frontier, and how warfare changed amongst Native American tribes with the introduction of the horse. Along the way, Bob shows us how the life of Jed Smith intersected with all these historic trends and shares the epic exploits that he and other mountain men took part in while exploring and mapping the American West.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Bob's last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #469 — How Valley Forge Turned the Tide of the Revolutionary War
• AoM article about mountain men
• AoM Podcast #681: The Epic Exploits of Kit Carson
• Hugh Glass

As compared to mothers, fathers are sometimes thought of as a secondary, almost superfluous, parent.

But my guest says that fathers actually saved the human race, and continue to do so today.

Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, a pioneer of fatherhood science, and the author of Life Of Dad. Today on the show, we talk about the role of fathers in human history and how their main role continues to be teaching kids the skills they need to take risks, become independent, and navigate the world beyond their family. We also talk about the physiological changes that happen when a man becomes a father and how dads are just as biologically primed as mothers to parent. In the second half of our conversation, we talk about the experience of being a dad. Anna shares how long it typically takes a man to bond with a baby and transition into the role of fatherhood, how roughhousing is key in building that bond as well as developing your child's resilience, and how your personality and background will affect your parenting. We end our conversation with the difference in how the relationship between Mom and Dad affects how they parent, and the implications of that for building a strong family.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Article: The Importance of Fathers (According to Science)
• AoM Article: A Man’s Guide to Pregnancy — Getting Ready for the Baby Bomb
• AoM Article: A Man’s Guide to Pregnancy — Your Progeny Enters the World
• AoM Article:New Dad Survival Guide — The Mindset
• AoM Article: New Dad Survival Guide — The Skillset
• AoM Podcast #119: Why Fathers Matter 
• AoM Article: You Don’t Have to Be Your Dad — How to Become Your Family’s Transitional Character

Connect With Anna Machin

• Anna's website
• Anna on X
• Anna on IG

Everyone has heard about the incredible benefits that come to mind, body, and spirit from having strong relationships. The quality of our social ties has a huge impact on our physical and mental health and our overall feeling of flourishing.

Yet many people still struggle to create these strong relationships in their lives, and often figure that things like weakening communities and digital technology are to blame.

But my guest says that the barriers to establishing bonds with others may actually be more psychological than physical, and he shares research-backed tips for breaking through them in his new book, The Laws of Connection: The Scientific Secrets of Building a Strong Social Network. Today on the show, David discusses how we can feel lonely even when we're surrounded by people if we don't have what he calls a "shared reality." We then discuss ways to build that shared reality with others. We talk about why frenemies are so bad for you, how to overcome the "liking gap," why you might want to interrupt someone to connect with them, the need to be aware of the novelty penalty in conversations, why you should stop telling white lies, and much more.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• David's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #803 — How Your Expectations Can Change Your Life
• AoM Article: Why Ambivalent Relationships Are Terrible for You (And How to Deal With Them)
• AoM Podcast #949: Envy — Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk About

Connect With David Robson

• David's website
• David on IG
• David on X
• David on LinkedIn

On D-Day, June 6, 1944, 160,000 troops participated in the invasion of Normandy. Today just a few thousand of these veterans are still alive, with the youngest in their late nineties. As their voices, and those of the million combatants and leaders who swept into motion across Europe 80 years ago, fall silent and pass from living history, Garrett Graff has captured and compiled them in a new book: When the Sea Came Alive: An Oral History of D-Day.

Drawing on his project of sifting through and synthesizing 5,000 oral histories, today Garrett takes us back to what was arguably the most consequential day in modern history and helps unpack the truly epic sweep of the operation, which was hard to fathom even then, and has become even more difficult to grasp with the passage of time. We talk about how unbelievably involved the planning process for D-Day was, stories you may never have heard before, a couple of the myths around D-Day, and the sacrificial heroism born of this event that continues to live on.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast Episode #1: We Who Are Alive and Remain
• AoM Article: The 70th Anniversary of D-Day — Remembrances from the Brave Men Who Were There
• AoM Podcast #514: Remembering D-Day 75 Years Later
• The Bedford Boys: One American Town's Ultimate D-day Sacrifice by Alex Kershaw
• AoM Article: How Eisenhwoer Made the D-Day Decision
• The Only Plane in the Sky: An Oral History of 9/11 by Garrett M. Graff

Connect With Garrett Graff

• Garrett's website

Over a decade ago, I remember reading a story that stuck with me. I think it was connected to the famous Harvard Study on Adult Development that studied a group of men across their lifetimes, but I can no longer find the reference. A much-beloved doctor, upon his retirement, was given a notebook filled with letters of praise and appreciation from his patients. After he received it, he put it up in his attic, and never opened it or read the letters.

I've often thought of this story since I first heard it, wondering about what motivated the doctor's behavior, and the larger question of why praise is typically welcomed and makes us feel good, but can also make people feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

In today's episode, I take a stab at answering this question with Christopher Littlefield, a speaker and consultant who specializes in employee appreciation. But first, we talk about the power of recognition, why we can be so stingy in giving compliments, how compliments can go wrong, and how we can offer them more effectively. We then turn to why getting compliments can make you cringe, how people deflect them and how this deflection affects relationships, and how to get better at receiving compliments graciously.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Article:Why and How to Offer More Compliments
• AoM Article: How to Accept a Compliment With Class
• AoM Article: How to Avoid Giving a Backhanded Compliment
• Sunday Firesides: Compliment Deflection Is Gift Denial
• Sunday Firesides: Give Them the Cream
• HBR Article: Do Compliments Make You Cringe? Here’s Why by Christopher Littlefield

Connect With Christopher Littlefield

• Beyond Thank You website
• Chris on YouTube
• Chris on LinkedIn

On the 7th November 2011, baby River Waddell passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in his sleep. He was just 128 days old and there was no cause found for his death.

From this devastating loss, River’s Gift was born with a mission to fund SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) research, provide SIDS and infant safe sleep education and unite with other SIDS families on their grief journey.

In todays episode, Jay and Delta were joined by Rivers parents and co-founders of Rivers Gift, Karl Waddell, and Alex Hamilton. Karl and Alex discuss openly their experience in losing River and the courage they summoned, directing their grief towards research and education to stamp out SIDS.

Through the generosity of Burke Britton clients and the Future Generation program Burke Britton Financial Partners have been able to donate more than $14,000 to Rivers Gift in the past 2 years. We encourage everyone to consider how they too could contribute to this amazing charity and cause.

From this November 7th – on River’s 11 anniversary – we ask the Australian community to shine blue and join our One28 campaign.

What can you do for 28 days that can raise $128 and help us drive our mission of Stamping Out SIDS?

Here are just some ideas:

• Give up coffee and donate $128.
• Quit alcohol and donate $128.
• Quit smoking and donate $128.
• Jump out of bed and watch the sunrise every morning over 28 days, and donate $128.
  Run or walk 128km over 28 days, and donate $1 per km?
• Or just simply host a morning tea on November 7th and raise $128 between your family, friends, and work colleagues.

Share your photos with us by tagging River’s Gift on social media #One28 #StampingOutSIDS #RiversGift

However you choose to shine blue, we thank you for your support in Stamping Out SIDS. Donate or Create Your Own Fundraising Page: https://riversgift.kindful.com/?campaign=1204488
https://www.givenow.com.au/riversgiftone28

(All donations of $2 or more are tax deductible). If you are seeking personal financial advice specific to your circumstances you can contact the team at Burke Britton Financial Partners on 0352217700, admin@bbfp.com.au, visit our website at www.bbfp.com.au or book a 15min call to see how we can help you via https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18922676 You can find us on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook @BurkeBrittonFP PB Financial Solutions Pty Ltd trading as Burke Britton Financial Partners ABN 67 097 381 523. PB Financial Solutions Pty Ltd trading as Burke Britton Financial Partners are Authorised Representatives of AMP Financial Planning Pty Limited, ABN 89 051 208 327, AFS Licence No: 232706. Any advice contained in this podcast is of general nature only and does not constitute personal financial product advice. In preparing this podcast, no account was taken as to the objectives, financial situation or needs of any particular person. Therefore, before making any decision, listeners should consider the appropriateness of the advice with regard to their particular objectives, financial situation and needs.

Neon Owl had a chance to sit down and talk with Dan Willis of Neptune Project on 9/3/16 at Verso in San Francisco shortly before he performed a five hour open to close set for charity withThe Apollo Aid Foundation. It was a pleasure getting to know Dan, learn about The Apollo Aid Foundation, and of course a bit about music. The event itself was wonderful as so many people came to not only hear some great music, including an hour long tribute to OceanLab, but to also support a great foundation and give to charity. This was truly a night of “Dance. Give. Inspire.”

http://neonowl.co/neptuneproject/

www.facebook.com/neptuneproject/
soundcloud.com/neptune-project
twitter.com/Neptune_Project

http://apolloaid.org/

Tags: apollo aid, charity, community, dreamstate, glowstik, interview, music, neptune project, sf, trance, trance family

If you call someone a dirtbag, you might be insulting them for being dishonest. Or, you might be describing their lifestyle -- their pursuit of an outdoor passion at the expense of more mainstream options and commitments.

If you've ever dreamed of being a rock climber living in a van or becoming a rafting guide, thru-hiker, world traveler, or some other kind of nature-loving, adventure-seeking wanderer, my guest has written a handbook for making it happen. His name is Tim Mathis and he's the author of The Dirtbag's Guide to Life: Eternal Truth for Hiker Trash, Ski Bums, and Vagabonds. Tim and I begin our conversation with what it means to be a dirtbag, the origin of the term amongst the early rock climbers who explored Yosemite in the 50s and 60s, and why Tim thinks the lifestyle embodies a countercultural philosophy. Tim then offers a window into why others might adopt this approach to life, by sharing his story of how he personally became committed to dirtbagging. From there we turn to the brass tacks of embracing a life centered on outdoor adventure and exploration, beginning with how much money you need to make it happen, and the kinds of jobs and careers that are conducive to it, including, perhaps surprisingly, the field of nursing. Tim also shares how he responds to criticism that being a dirtbag isn't a responsible way to live. We then discuss the effect dirtbagging can have on someone's relationships, and whether this lifestyle is viable if you have a spouse and kids. At the end of our conversation, we discuss how, even if you're living a more freewheeling lifestyle, it's important to have a sense of meaning beyond traveling around and doing cool stuff, and the three elements that go into finding that kind of meaning, which apply to dirtbags and non-dirtbags alike.

Get the show notes at aom.is/dirtbag.

Neon Owl had a chance to sit down and talk with Dan Willis of Neptune Project on 9/3/16 at Verso in San Francisco shortly before he performed a five hour open to close set for charity withThe Apollo Aid Foundation. It was a pleasure getting to know Dan, learn about The Apollo Aid Foundation, and of course a bit about music. The event itself was wonderful as so many people came to not only hear some great music, including an hour long tribute to OceanLab, but to also support a great foundation and give to charity. This was truly a night of “Dance. Give. Inspire.”

http://neonowl.co/neptuneproject/

www.facebook.com/neptuneproject/
soundcloud.com/neptune-project
twitter.com/Neptune_Project

http://apolloaid.org/

Tags: apollo aid, charity, community, dreamstate, glowstik, interview, music, neptune project, sf, trance, trance family