Podcast Summary
Podcasts for hard conversations: Explore 'We Can Do Hard Things' and 'TED Talks Daily' for honest conversations about various hard topics in life, featuring guests like Michelle Obama and daily TED Talk discussions
There are several podcasts worth checking out if you're looking for honest conversations about various hard topics in life. Two of these podcasts are "We Can Do Hard Things" by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle, and "TED Talks Daily" by TED. "We Can Do Hard Things" features conversations with guests like Michelle Obama, Tracy Ellis Ross, and Brene Brown about topics such as sex, gender, parenting, and anxiety. "TED Talks Daily," on the other hand, shares a TED Talk on a daily basis and then discusses it with the speaker. Dan Schawbel, the author of "Back to Human," was a guest on "TED Talks Daily" and discussed a TED Talk he gave about the benefits of not being hard on yourself. Both podcasts offer valuable insights and honest conversations on various aspects of life. If you're looking for inspiring and honest conversations, consider giving these podcasts a listen.
Unexpected events leading to personal growth: Unexpected experiences, like having a panic attack on live television, can lead to personal growth and transformation through practices like meditation and mindfulness.
Dan Harris, the host of 10 Percent Happier podcast and author of the same named book, shares how a humiliating experience of having a panic attack on live television led him to self-discovery and acceptance through meditation and mindfulness practices. In his TED Talk at TED 2022, Harris reflects on the unusual journey he took into meditation after being evaluated through a 360-degree review by his wife, brother, and meditation teachers. He was initially skeptical of meditation due to his upbringing and dismissive attitude towards it. However, after experiencing the benefits of meditation in managing his anxiety and depression, he became an advocate for the practice. Harris's experience demonstrates that even the most unexpected events can lead to personal growth and transformation.
Self-discovery through meditation: Meditation can help us uncover both our strengths and weaknesses, leading to personal growth and the ability to contribute positively to society.
Personal growth through meditation and self-improvement efforts can reveal both our strengths and weaknesses. The speaker discovered that despite practicing meditation and being perceived as hardworking and intelligent, they also had negative traits such as rudeness and self-centeredness. These traits were highlighted in a 360-degree feedback report, causing emotional distress. Realizing the need for further development, the speaker underwent various forms of therapy, coaching, and training. However, they continued to struggle with being selfish and snippy. In an attempt to address this, they attended a 9-day silent retreat focusing on loving-kindness meditation to boost their capacity for warmth and kindness towards themselves and others. The process of self-improvement can be challenging, as it involves confronting our less desirable traits, but it is essential for personal growth and contributing positively to society. The speaker's experience serves as a reminder that we all have room for improvement and that investing in ourselves can lead to positive change, not just for ourselves but for the betterment of humanity as a whole.
Self-compassion: Self-compassion allows us to disarm negative emotions by extending warmth and understanding to ourselves, rather than indulging or fighting them
Self-compassion is a crucial step in dealing with our negative emotions and behaviors towards others. During a meditation retreat, the speaker discovered that his anger and self-centeredness were deeply ingrained fears and neuroses. Instead of fighting these "demons," he realized that they were trying to protect him and were part of his organism's natural response. By extending warmth and compassion to himself, he was able to disarm these negative emotions rather than indulging or slaying them. This counterintuitive approach allowed him to gain a new perspective and understanding of his own behavior. We all have the choice to engage in negative spirals of anger, self-criticism, and judgment, or to practice self-compassion and disarm the negative emotions, leading to a more positive and productive response.
Self-love and relationships: Self-love is crucial for healthy relationships and personal growth; negative self-perception and criticism can lead to a downward spiral, while self-love initiates an upward spiral, making us better at loving others
Self-love, properly understood, is essential for healthy relationships and overall human flourishing. The speaker, through personal experience and a "toilet vortex" metaphor, illustrates how negative self-perception and self-criticism can lead to a downward spiral affecting both ourselves and our relationships. Conversely, practicing self-love, or having your own back, can initiate an "upward spiral," improving both our inner lives and our relationships with others. The speaker emphasizes that self-love is not selfish but rather makes us better at loving others. The lack of love, as demonstrated in various areas of society, highlights the importance of caring for one another as a fundamental human capacity.
Self-love and kindness practices: Two simple practices, loving-kindness meditation and countering inner critic, can improve personal growth and geopolitical peace by enhancing self-love and kindness to self and others
Improving your ability to love and be kind to yourself and others is not only beneficial for personal growth but also has geopolitical implications. Love is a skill that can be trained, and two simple practices to help you get started are loving-kindness meditation and countering your inner critic. In the meditation practice, you focus on sending well-wishes to yourself and others, starting with an easy person and gradually moving on to more challenging individuals. Research shows that this practice has physiological, psychological, and behavioral benefits. The second practice involves talking to yourself in a kind and compassionate way when you notice negative self-talk. This can be especially challenging for ambitious people, but it's an important step in breaking the cycle of self-centeredness and negativity. By incorporating these practices into your life, you can train your mind to be more loving and kind, not only improving your own well-being but also contributing to a more peaceful and loving world.
Inner critic to inner coach: Transforming your inner critic into a supportive inner coach leads to increased happiness, generosity, and availability, resulting in personal growth and a more fulfilling life.
Transforming your inner critic into a supportive inner coach can significantly increase your chances of reaching your goals. This change, although challenging, leads to an upward spiral of growth and self-improvement. It may be countercultural and require courage, but the benefits include increased happiness, generosity, and availability. Essentially, it means pulling your head out of the negativity and focusing on the positive. This shift can lead to remarkable personal growth and a more fulfilling life. So, instead of being a slave to your inner critic, try being kinder to yourself and watch as the view gets much better. If you enjoyed this episode of "10% Happier," you can listen to it early and ad-free by becoming a Wondery Plus member or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can also listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Don't forget to fill out a short survey at wondery.com/survey to tell us about yourself.