HC Divorce Demystified: Navigating the Storm: The Psychological Battlefield of Divorcing a Sociopath or Narcissist with Kerrie Droban-Zhivago

I’m excited to share today’s conversation with you as my guest, Kerrie Droban-Zhivago, offers profound insights into the minds of sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists. For those of you undergoing high-conflict divorces, understanding these characteristics is crucial. As you know, these personalities can significantly impact the emotional and psychological well-being of their partners, often leading to highly contentious divorce proceedings. 

By educating oneself on the traits and tactics of these individuals, you will be able to better navigate the complexities of your circumstances. This knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions, establish boundaries, and pursue a path to healing and recovery.  Kerrie’s insights provide a roadmap for identifying these personality types and implementing strategies to protect oneself from their debilitating effects.

Today’s guest, Kerrie Droban-Zhivago, is an award-winning, critically acclaimed true crime author, accomplished criminal and matrimonial attorney and television journalist. She is an expert on criminal pathology, narcissistic personality disorder, and sociopathy and has a fascinating story of how she developed her expertise.

More ways to connect with Kerrie:

• Website: https://www.kerriedroban.com/
• Podcast Coming Soon: https://www.kerriedroban.com/podcast/

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind
• Divorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101

When Maria reached out for support she was still resentful at her ex and regretting staying so long in a marriage that had been over for 2 years. 

Maria shares her journey to self awareness and acceptance of herself and her circumstances. In a short time, Maria developed an understanding of codependence and began shifting her behavior to more self loving and less fearful about what other's thought about her.

Maria also shares her 'hot pepper moment' and the powerful impact our signature Emotional Energy tool had on both her healing and her new romantic relationship.

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind
• Divorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101

Our guest is none other than Bill Eddy, a leading expert in managing high-conflict personalities. As the pioneer in understanding and navigating the tumultuous waters of relationships with individuals exhibiting narcissistic or borderline traits, Bill brings a wealth of knowledge and practical wisdom.

In this episode, we'll unravel the intricacies of his acclaimed book, "SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder". If you're facing a high-conflict divorce, this conversation is an essential guide to maintaining your sanity and safety in the face of adversity.

Bill Eddy, co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute, is a renowned figure in managing high-conflict personalities. He developed the influential High Conflict Personality Theory and has a rich background as both a Certified Family Law Specialist and a licensed clinical social worker.

Bill’s work extends beyond the courtroom and therapy sessions to the academic realm, serving as faculty at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University and a Conjoint Associate Professor at the University of Newcastle Law School.

As an author of over 20 books and co-host of the podcast "It's All Your Fault," Bill's expertise is sought after worldwide, having lectured in over 35 U.S. states and 13 countries worldwide. His popular Psychology Today blog has garnered over 6 million views, making him a leading voice in understanding and navigating complex interpersonal conflicts.

More ways to connect with Bill:

• Website: https://highconflictinstitute.com/solutions-for-individuals
• Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind
• Divorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101

High Conflict Divorce is hard and in the beginning you may struggle with self doubt and uncertainty.  I found this mind hack a while ago and was fascinated by the concept.  So here goes.  Activating your alter ego engages a mind hack that can support you in creating the change you desire.

The Alter Ego Effect, written by Todd Herman teaches you how to adopt a different mindset and get motivated by cooperating with an alter ego of your own. By implementing this mind-hack, you can awaken your hidden talents or certain skills that you are afraid to show and quiet down fears and other unhelpful emotions that keep you stuck. It is a powerful and effective tool to begin recreating the new you!!

There are 5 key lessons in the book, I am going to quickly walk you through the basics of a few of them. One is to use the five categories of change to improve your life and find your alter ego.

The second exercise is to give your unproductive, paralyzing emotions a different alter ego so that you can detach from those in difficult times. And finally align the attributes of your alter ego with your goals, and then access this super persona when you need them.

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind
• Divorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101
   

If you feel like you are losing your mind as you enter divorce, I want you to know that it's totally normal.  Today I share what happens when you begin the journey through divorce and how your mental and emotional overload show up in your life.  I discuss the changes you begin to see in yourself and why things like brain fog, ADD tendencies, short triggers, and memory problems arise in the short term.  

Tune in as I share what you can do to support yourself and what you are ill advised to do.  Seeing the value and benefit in all things divorce is hard and yet when you are looking for the hidden gems, you learn more about yourself, grow in ways that bring value to all you do and set yourself up to be more effective and productive through and beyond your divorce.    

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind
• Divorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101

Extra Resources:

•  The Divorce Landscape Episode: https://journey-beyond-divorce-podcast.simplecast.com/episodes/divorce-roadmap-the-divorce-landscape - I encourage you to tune in to help with your mental and emotional health during the early stages of divorce.     

Welcome to today’s special episode, where we shine a light on a topic that often remains in the shadows. While we’ve dedicated much of our discussion to the challenges and triumphs of women navigating the turbulent waters of high-conflict, abusive relationships, today, we pivot to honor a group whose struggles are equally profound, yet less often heard. This episode is dedicated to the men—the unspoken victims of domestic abuse.

Abuse knows no gender, and the pain it inflicts bears no prejudice. Men, too, find themselves caught in the grip of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse within their intimate relationships, battling the stereotypes that question their experiences and silence their voices. Today, we stand with you, acknowledging your struggles and affirming that your pain is real, your experiences are valid, and your journey towards healing is deserving of attention and support. Together, let’s break the silence and build a bridge of understanding and empathy for all emerging from the shadows of high-conflict and abusive relationships.

My dad was a victim of domestic abuse, here’s his story…

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind
• Divorce 101: The Roadmap Your Need  to Prepare for Your High Conflict Divorce: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce101

Extra Resources:

• The Silent Struggle

Geri was the primary parent for the entirety of her children's lives. During the four years of their court battle, dad never took the boys for an overnight...not even once. Yet she lost custody in an expensive, drawn out court battle.

Listen as one woman tells her journey of heartbreak and healing, her court ruling on custody and the grief, personal growth and gifts that followed.

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind

Telling the children about your impending divorce is always a fragile, emotional conversation. The general rule is both parents tell the children together, refer to the decision as mutual and assure them that they are loved and their lives with continue with limited change.

However, when facing a high conflict divorce, such advice may be unwise and even dangerous. If you are expecting your high conflict ex to blame you, create undo chaos and emotional overwhelm and catastrophize your choice, telling the children together may not be in their (or your) best interest.

Listen as Karen walks you through another, one that you don't typically hear and that may resonate as safer and more aligned with your reality.

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call:http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Take the "Relationship Health Quiz" Quiz:https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/relationshiphealthquiz

Ah, Valentine's Day! That time of year when love is in the air, and heart-shaped chocolates seem to pop up everywhere. For some, it's a day of romance and roses. For others, it's more like a scene from a tragicomedy – minus the comedy. But fear not! 

If Valentine’s Day feels like just another blip on the calendar, that's great.  Carry on!! However, if you find yourself feeling a bit blue as heart-shaped balloons float by, here’s an invitation to consider…why not turn the day into a celebration of the most enduring love of all – the love for yourself? 

After all, you are the one person who you can always count on and whom you would benefit from getting to know more deeply. You are beautifully unique and loving… with so much to offer, and who better to recognize that than, well, you? Why not make it a day to remember by creating your perfect Date with Yourself.

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call:http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Take the "Relationship Health Quiz" Quiz:https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/relationshiphealthquiz

Ann Margaret shares her struggles around faith and family when deciding whether or not to seek a divorce from her spouse of 19 years. As a devout Catholic, she needed to be 'right with God' and sought to understand if and how her desire to leave her marriage was aligned with her deep faith. She goes on to share her concerns for the impact the divorce would have on her children, the challenges of living under the same roof during Covid and keeping the 'secret' of the impending divorce from her kids until the school year ended. Finally, Ann Margaret had a huge fear of being alone and shares the unfolding journey of her dating and relationship life after divorce.

Ann Margaret describes her divorce as amicable and post divorce co parenting relationship as respectful. She offers great wisdom and guidance around the power of coaching and the importance of tuning into and listening to the soft voice of intuition that is there to guide you.

Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Book a Free Rapid Relief Call:http://rapidreliefcall.com  
• Take the "Relationship Health Quiz" Quiz:https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/relationshiphealthquiz