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    Hotline Calls: I’m Kinky, But My Partner Isn’t

    enJanuary 09, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Exploring Sexual Relationships: Communication, Education, and ExperimentationCommunicate openly with your partner, educate yourself about sex, and experiment with new things to enhance your sexual experiences and deepen your connections.

      Communication and education are key to exploring new things in sexual relationships. During a recent episode of "Sex with Emily," holistic psychologist Dr. Scott Lyons joined the conversation to help answer listeners' questions. One caller was concerned about her partner's reluctance to explore new things in bed, while another was anxious about starting a new relationship due to past disappointments. Dr. Lyons and Emily provided tips for both situations, emphasizing the importance of open dialogue and understanding. Meanwhile, the episode also touched on the topic of sex toys, specifically the iconic Magic Wand. Dubbed the "Cadillac of vibrators," the Magic Wand has earned accolades for its powerful rumble and ability to provide full-body pleasure. With various iterations available, it's a trusted confidant for many, offering a unique and unapologetic experience. Summer is a season of heat and passion, and the episode encouraged listeners to explore their sexuality further with the help of products like Promescent's delay spray. By prioritizing communication, education, and experimentation, individuals can enhance their sexual experiences and deepen their connections with their partners.

    • Exploring sexual desires in a relationshipRespect each other's preferences, have open conversations, and explore together to lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life. Address misconceptions and understand each other's interpretations to bridge gaps.

      Communication and understanding are key in exploring sexual desires within a relationship. A holistic approach, which considers various aspects of a person's life, can help individuals navigate such situations. Freya, a caller, shared her dilemma of wanting to try new things in bed but her husband not being interested. While it's important to respect each other's preferences, having open conversations about turn-ons and exploring together can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life. However, it's crucial to understand that different people have varying interpretations of the concept of exploration, and addressing these misconceptions can help bridge the gap. In Freya's case, her husband's upbringing and lack of open dialogue about sex might be contributing factors to his reluctance. Overall, maintaining open communication and being understanding can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling sexual relationship.

    • Understanding Sexual Needs and DesiresHaving open conversations about sex outside the bedroom can lead to better understanding, deeper connection, and improved sexual experiences. Approach these conversations with curiosity, openness, and non-judgmental attitude.

      Communication about sexual exploration and desires is crucial in a relationship, especially when partners grew up in different environments with varying attitudes towards sex. One partner might be more open and vocal, while the other might be uncomfortable discussing it due to past beliefs or upbringing. Having conversations about sex outside the bedroom can help both partners understand each other's needs and desires, expand their connection, and lead to better sex. It's essential to approach these conversations with curiosity, openness, and a non-judgmental attitude. Sharing why exploration is important and what it could add to the relationship can help the other partner feel more comfortable with the idea. If strong reactions or resistance arise, addressing the underlying emotions, such as shame, can lead to deeper understanding and growth in the relationship.

    • Navigating Sexual Frustrations in a Relationship: Communication and EmpathyRecognize medical factors, communicate openly, explore alternatives, use positive language, and practice patience and understanding to navigate sexual frustrations in relationships.

      Effective communication and understanding are crucial in addressing sexual frustrations in a relationship. The speaker, Jesse, has been experiencing difficulties in his sex life with his girlfriend due to her mental health issues and medication side effects. These factors have affected both their libidos and created challenges in satisfying each other's needs. The speaker is sensitive to his girlfriend's situation but is also seeking advice on how to approach the issue without coming off as needy or insensitive. The experts suggest recognizing the medical contributions to the situation and encouraging open communication between partners. They recommend discussing the impact of medications and exploring alternative solutions with healthcare professionals. Additionally, they suggest using techniques like the compliment sandwich to express appreciation and desire, focusing on the "we" aspect of sexual connection, and being patient and understanding during challenging times. Effective communication and empathy can help couples navigate these challenges and strengthen their connection, leading to a more fulfilling and nourishing sex life.

    • Communication and patience are crucial when dealing with intimacy issuesExplore alternative ways to meet each other's sexual needs, address anxieties with love and compassion, and seek professional help if necessary.

      Communication and patience are key when dealing with sexual intimacy issues in a relationship. It can take time to find the right medical professionals to address any health concerns, and it's essential to explore alternative ways to meet each other's sexual needs. Mutual masturbation and non-penetrative sexual activities can be helpful when penetrative sex isn't an option. Additionally, addressing any anxieties or insecurities around giving or receiving sexual acts with love, hope, and compassion can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for both partners. Remember, hope and love are powerful tools that can help change the tone of the conversation and bring partners closer together.

    • Focusing on connection beyond physical contact during intimacy challengesDuring intimacy struggles, generate connection through shared intentions, meditation, and relaxation. Approach partner with hope and calm communication to bridge gaps and grow together.

      During challenging times in a relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy and sex, it's essential to focus on generating connection through various means beyond just physical contact. This can be achieved through shared intentions, meditation, and relaxation. Approaching your partner from a place of hope and relaxation rather than frustration can help bridge the gap and create opportunities for growth in your sexual relationship. Remember, every stage of your sexual evolution brings new opportunities to deepen your connection with your partner. Instead of catastrophizing, view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow together. Communication plays a crucial role in maintaining a healthy and open relationship. By being mindful of your approach and maintaining a calm, open, and relaxed conversation, you can improve your communication around intimacy and sex.

    • The Power of Hope and Self-CareFocusing on positive moments and emotions can improve mental health. Self-care practices like listening to inspiring stories, using a Magic Wand vibrator, and eating Hero Bread can help manage emotions and improve overall well-being.

      Shifting our mindset towards positivity and hope can have a profound impact on our emotions and overall well-being. During a conversation with Jesse and Scott, they discussed the power of feeling hopeful and how it can lead to further personal growth. The negativity bias is a common tendency, but by focusing on positive moments and emotions, we can improve our mental health. Scott shared how listening to Jesse's story brought about a sense of hope and a shift in his own emotions. This practice can be applied to our daily lives, helping us to overcome challenges and find optimism even in difficult situations. Additionally, the discussion touched on the importance of self-care and having tools readily available to help us manage our emotions and improve our well-being. Scott mentioned his love for the Magic Wand vibrator and its various versions, including the new micro size, which can be carried with you wherever you go. Similarly, Hero Bread was introduced as a healthier alternative to traditional bread products, providing the taste and texture of regular bread without the carb consequences. By incorporating these self-care practices into our routines, we can better manage our emotions and improve our overall well-being.

    • Finding deeper connections in relationshipsFocus on building genuine connections before intimacy, use communication skills, and view dating as an opportunity to get to know someone.

      It's possible to find great sexual connections in relationships, but ending a relationship due to a lack of connection outside the bedroom can leave one feeling nervous about starting over. Jenna, a caller on a sex-positive podcast, shared her experience of finding passionate sex with someone but lacking a deeper connection outside the bedroom, leading her to break up. Now, she's ready to start dating again but is hesitant due to past experiences and expectations. To help Jenna, the podcast hosts suggested focusing on finding genuine connections before getting intimate, using communication skills, and approaching dating as an opportunity to get to know someone rather than just a means to an end. By shifting the mindset and approaching dating as a chance to build a deeper connection, Jenna may be able to overcome her fears and find a fulfilling relationship.

    • Practicing mindfulness and preparation for datingMindfulness exercises and preparation techniques can help reduce dating fears and improve authenticity on dates.

      Preparation and mindfulness practices can help alleviate fears and nervousness when going on a date. Jenna shared her fear of past dating experiences being unpleasant and her desire to be her authentic self on dates. Scott suggested practicing embodiment and communication through a fantasy date exercise and a pre-date phone call. Jenna acknowledged that unfamiliarity and expectations also contribute to her nervousness. The exercise helped Jenna relax and feel more present, and she realized that she could fill the conversation with more authentic words when she wasn't nervous. The idea of a pre-date phone call was new to Jenna, but she saw its potential in reducing anxiety and making the first date experience more enjoyable. Overall, the conversation emphasized the importance of preparation, mindfulness, and authenticity in overcoming dating fears and having successful and fulfilling relationships.

    • Approaching a first date with a calm mindsetFocus on enjoying the experience and discovering compatibility, not making judgments or assumptions. Practice relaxation techniques for a calm mindset and trust your instincts.

      Approaching a first date with a calm and authentic mindset, without any expectations, can lead to a more enjoyable and informative experience. Practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation beforehand can help achieve this state. The focus should be on discovering if there is mutual enjoyment and compatibility, rather than making immediate judgments or assumptions about the person's character. Remember, a first date is a warm-up for further exploration and connection, and ultimately, you have the power to decide if the interaction is worth pursuing. Be present, have fun, and trust your instincts.

    • Focus on enjoying the experience of datingLet go of checklists and comparisons, connect with new people, and allow relationships to unfold naturally while practicing presence and calmness.

      When it comes to dating, it's important to focus on being present and enjoying the experience rather than putting pressure on it to meet certain expectations. As Scott emphasized, the first date doesn't have to be a performance or a representation of your best self, but rather an opportunity to get to know someone new and potentially make a new friend. By letting go of the checklists and comparisons, you can truly connect with the person in front of you and allow the relationship to unfold naturally over time. Additionally, practicing being calm and present in your body can help alleviate nerves and make the experience even more enjoyable. Remember, you have the power to navigate the unknown and trust that you'll be okay. So go out there and have fun! Whether or not the person becomes your romantic partner, you may just make a new friend along the way. You can find Scott on social media @doctorscottlions or on his website, doctorscottlyons.com.

    • Ask Emily for sex, dating, and relationship adviceSex expert Emily is accessible and willing to help individuals navigate their personal lives and relationships through her hotline, website, or email

      Emily Morse, a sex expert, invites listeners to call her hotline or visit her website for advice on sex, dating, and relationships. The hotline number is 559-825-5739, and the website is sexwithemily.com/askemily. For those who prefer written communication, they can email her at feedback@sexwithemilydot.com. The key takeaway is that Emily is accessible and willing to help individuals navigate their personal lives and relationships, especially in the areas of intimacy and sexuality. Her approach is open and inclusive, and she encourages feedback and engagement from her audience. Overall, Emily's message is that it's normal and important to seek advice and support in our personal lives, and that she is there to provide guidance and resources for those who need it.

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