Podcast Summary
The journey to becoming awesome is a marathon, not a sprint: Consistent effort and dedication are key to becoming awesome, no shortcuts or magic pills can replace hard work.
Becoming awesome at anything requires consistent effort and dedication, rather than relying on quick fixes or shortcuts. Whether it's shopping at Kroger for mealtime inspiration or striving to be awesome in a particular area of life, the key is putting in the time and energy to make progress. As Dr. Alok Khanoja, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and author of "How to Raise a Healthy Gamer," emphasizes, there's no magic pill or hack that can make us instantly awesome. Instead, it's important to focus on developing healthy habits and setting realistic goals. Whether you're a parent looking to support your child's gaming habits or an individual seeking personal growth, remember that the journey to becoming awesome is a marathon, not a sprint. It's worth putting in the effort to enjoy the process and savor the small victories along the way.
Overcoming Internal Obstacles for Progress: Recognizing and addressing internal obstacles is essential for making meaningful progress in life. Understanding that everyone's journey is unique and it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them can help individuals overcome personal barriers and make real progress towards their goals.
The key to overcoming obstacles and making progress in life is not just about following external advice or rules, but also addressing internal obstacles. Dr. Olukanoja, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and founder of a mental health platform, shares his experience working with individuals who struggle with follow-through despite their best efforts. He refers to this as an "XP debuff," which can be thought of as a personal barrier that hinders progress. The 10,000-hour rule, a popular piece of advice for achieving mastery in a skill, is an example of external advice that can be difficult to apply due to internal obstacles. These obstacles include the desire to become the best, which can lead to perfectionism and a fear of failure. This desire can make it hard to start and follow through with a project, ultimately resulting in no progress. However, recognizing and addressing these internal obstacles is essential for making meaningful progress in life. By understanding that everyone's journey is unique and that it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them, individuals can overcome their internal barriers and make real progress towards their goals. In summary, the key takeaway is that making progress in life requires addressing both external advice and internal obstacles. By recognizing and addressing the internal obstacles, individuals can overcome their personal barriers and make meaningful progress towards their goals.
Focusing on being the best can hinder growth: Instead of striving to be the best, focus on progress and self-improvement. Set achievable goals and practice self-compassion to maintain motivation and make meaningful progress towards personal growth.
Striving to be the best can actually hinder personal growth and motivation. The concept of being the best is a psychological construct that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. When we fail to meet our unrealistic expectations, we may give up entirely instead of learning from our mistakes and continuing to improve. Instead of focusing on being the best, it's important to focus on progress and self-improvement. By setting achievable goals and practicing self-compassion, we can maintain motivation and make meaningful progress towards our personal growth. Additionally, it's important to remember that there is no absolute "best" in life, and comparing ourselves to others can lead to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction. So, in essence, aiming for continuous improvement and self-growth is a more productive and fulfilling approach than striving to be the absolute best.
Being the best vs becoming awesome: Acknowledging mistakes and focusing on learning is a more effective approach to becoming awesome than striving to be the best due to insecurities and a desire to fix shame. Desires can lead to inconsistent progress, but understanding the complexities of motivation and reasons can help us pursue goals effectively and sustainably.
Focusing on being the best can hinder your progress towards becoming awesome. This mindset is often rooted in insecurity and a desire to fix shame. Instead, acknowledging mistakes and focusing on learning and improvement is a more effective approach. Desires, which can drive our motivations, can also lead to a lose-lose situation. Once satisfied, the motivation often disappears, making it difficult to maintain consistent progress. To truly become awesome, it's essential to have the right reasons for pursuing your goals, and these reasons are not one-size-fits-all. They come from various parts of the brain, including desires born from our senses. By understanding the complexities of motivation and reasons, we can approach our goals with a more effective and sustainable mindset.
Desire vs Values as Motivation: Focusing on values instead of desires provides a more stable and long-term motivation as values remain constant while emotions fluctuate.
Using desire or emotion as motivation to pursue a goal may not be sustainable. Desire can lead to disappointment if not satisfied in a timely manner, causing the brain to deem the effort not worth it. Emotion, on the other hand, can fluctuate and disappear over time, leaving insufficient motivation. Instead, focusing on values, which are things we care about deeply, provides a more stable and long-term motivation. The brain's homeostasis principle tries to equilibrate emotions, making them transient, while values remain constant. By aligning our actions with our values, we create a more meaningful and enduring motivation to achieve our goals.
Identify and focus on values for motivation and progress: During challenging tasks, focus on why it matters to you (values) to gain motivation and make progress despite discomfort or delayed gratification.
Values are important things that we as humans prioritize and care deeply about, even during challenging times. Dr. Judson Brewer, an addiction psychiatrist, explains that when we operate based on our values, we can tolerate negativity and discomfort, allowing us to make progress towards our goals. This is particularly important when facing difficult tasks or situations that trigger anxiety or discomfort. To apply this concept, first, identify what about the task is important to you by introspecting and asking yourself why it matters. Then, when faced with the temptation to give up, ask yourself which choice aligns with your values and will lead to pride rather than regret. By focusing on our values, we can gain motivation and make progress towards our goals, even when faced with delayed gratification.
Apply what you learn to prevent burnout and reinforce learning: Using new knowledge as soon as possible can prevent burnout, reinforce learning, and provide positive reinforcement
It's essential to apply what we learn as soon as possible to prevent feeling burnt out and to reinforce our learning. When we invest a significant amount of time and effort into learning something new, but don't use it or share it, we may feel demotivated and lose focus. By using our knowledge as soon as we acquire it, even if it's not perfect, we open ourselves up to positive reinforcement and make the most of our learning experience. This approach can be applied to various aspects of life, such as tutoring others or playing a musical instrument in front of someone. Embarrassment should not hinder us from sharing our progress and learning from feedback. By doing so, we can maintain our motivation and continue making progress towards our goals.
Understanding the human element in achieving goals: Recognizing and addressing human pitfalls is crucial for achieving goals. Introspection, self-awareness, and resilience can help navigate around these challenges, but every individual is unique, and formulas may not work for everyone.
Becoming awesome at anything requires effort and dedication, but the human element can often get in the way. Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hour rule is a helpful guideline, but it doesn't account for the unique challenges and flaws that come with being human. As a psychiatrist, I've seen countless individuals with untapped potential who let these human pitfalls hinder their growth. Whether you're a professional athlete, doctor, or someone seeking personal growth, the most significant obstacle to achieving your goals is often yourself. It's essential to recognize these pitfalls and learn how to navigate around them. This may involve introspection, self-awareness, and resilience. While there are formulas and strategies for success, they may not work for everyone, as the human element introduces variables that can't be accounted for in a formula. The good news is that by understanding these challenges and working on yourself, you can overcome them and become awesome at anything you set your mind to. So, while it's essential to focus on learning new skills and gaining knowledge, don't forget that you're an essential part of the equation for success. By recognizing and addressing the human element, you'll be well on your way to achieving your goals.
