Let's Get to 100...on Substack! *Hiatus* - Ep 47

Ever fantasize about moving abroad, and what that could look like in your life? Childfree couple Paulette and Ryan did just that, trading their Los Angeles-based routine for a new adventure in Puerto Rico. But moving to a tropical paradise wasn't all sausages and rainbows.

The couple gets real about the unexpected challenges they faced—from dreamy island life to the not-so-glamorous realities. This candid conversation gives a behind-the-scenes look into their experience. Paulette and Ryan dish on the importance of rolling with the punches, embracing the unknown, and maybe even having a Plan B (or C, or LMNOP) in your back pocket just in case.

It's an honest story about learning from stumbles, finding strength in the face of change, and knowing when to say, "enough is enough." Whether you're dreaming of a big move or navigating your own unexpected twists, this episode will leave you with a fresh perspective and a deeper appreciation for life's wild ride. Tune in for Paulette and Ryan's honest and relatable account – it's sure to inspire you to find your own adventure!

Key takeaways: 

1. Life decisions are rarely permanent, and it's okay to change your mind, even when facing challenges and setbacks.
2. Exploring one's cultural roots and living in a new place can be a valuable and enriching experience, even if plans don't work out as expected.
3. Embracing mistakes/failures as learning experiences and using them to grow and move forward is essential in this lifetime.

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 58.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

What does media bias have to do with how marginalized groups are perceived? EVERYTHING. Media bias—the way we see certain groups on TV and in movies—has a massive impact on how we view people in real life. And whether or not we see them as real human beings, or merely caricatures we don't have to care about. If people in the margins don't comport ourselves in a very specific way, then we aren't deemed worth giving a damn about.

In her book, Broken: The Failed Promise of Muslim Inclusion, Professor Evelyn Alsultany painstakingly tracks the "logics that legitimize excluding people, that legitimize inequality" and rejects the need for anyone to act like a "good" <insert marginalized person here> to be accepted. 

Aside from being an expert on Arab and Muslim representation, Evelyn is also a childfree Latina. As a Cuban-Iraqi American, her work exposing why we view Arabs and Muslims through a narrow, Hollywood-perpetuated lens can helps us understand why we might make unfair assumptions about people based on their choices, skin color, accent, religion, and so on. It's obnoxious, it's outrageous, and we shouldn't accept it! Professor Alsultany is pushing back, and she's inviting us to do it, too.

This episode contains mentions of terrorism, rape, school shootings, and genocide.

Evelyn's bio:
Evelyn Alsultany is a professor in the Department of American Studies and Ethnicity at USC’s Dornsife College and a leading expert on the history of representations of Arabs and Muslims in the U.S. media and on forms of anti-Arab and anti-Muslim racism.

Alsultany is the author of Broken: The Failed Promise of Muslim Inclusion (2022) which was listed as one of the 10 best scholarly books of 2022 by The Chronicle of Higher Education; was a finalist for the Association of American Publishers’ Prose Award; and received Honorable Mention for the Arab American National Museum book award. She is also the author of Arabs and Muslims in the Media: Race and Representation after 9/11 (2012).

Alsultany has served as an educator and consultant for Hollywood studios (Netflix, Amazon, NBC Universal) and co-authored criteria, the Obeidi-Alsultany Test, to help Hollywood improve representations of Muslims. She has published op-eds in The Hollywood Reporter, Time, and Newsweek.  

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 57.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

This special Valentine's week episode is dedicated to smashing The Patriarchy by tapping deep into the well of your self-love. Because if you want to live your vida mas chévere, if you want to design your best childfree Latina life, you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself.

How do you get that? Listen in for practical tips on how to prioritize self-care rituals, savor moments of joy, and release negativity so you can reach the point where you are actively, intentionally, and fiercely in love with yourself.

Because if there's one thing The Patriarchy hates, it's when women love themselves fully. Especially if those women are childfree Latinas.

3 takeaways from this episode are: 

1. Self-love is crucial for designing your best life and living la vida más chévere.
2. Neglecting self-love has detrimental effects on your self-esteem, relationships, and personal development.
3. Actively pushing past the discomfort of learning to love yourself combats social conditioning, and can start with bite size moments.

Bonus takeaway: being in love with yourself means you're never alone on Valentine's Day!

Join us as we navigate the journey to self-love, celebrate our unique Latine identities, and embrace the power of self-empowerment through self-care. This episode is a loving reminder to all childfree Latinas that self-love is not only essential, but a radical act of revolution.

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 56.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

Following up from the last episode about how Monica Rivera became her own best friend, this time Monica tells us how her inner critic inspired her to start her own business coaching enterprise for women of color aptly named YOU WANNA DO WHAT?!

There's also the question many childfree Latinas grapple with—thanks to the toxic cultural habit that allows too many people to feel comfortably asking: what's your legacy if you aren't having children? First of all, that's a bingo AND a really narrow view of what legacy means. 

Because of her early life experiences, Monica knows she'll never have children. But she will still leave a legacy that's equally as important to her, her chosen family, and her clients.

If you're interested in business coaching with Monica, she invites you to book a free 45-minute clarity call to see if coaching is a fit at https://calendly.com/youwannadowhat/consult

About Monica:
Monica Rivera (she/her) is a speaker, a reformed self-doubter, and a business coach with a passion for building empowering communities. With over two decades worth of marketing experience, Monica has climbed the corporate ladder working in various Fortune 500 companies.

Drawing on her own challenging experiences, Monica founded YOU WANNA DO WHAT?!, a coaching practice dedicated to helping women of color build personal brands and businesses around their passions. Monica is a TEDx speaker and has been featured in Business Insider, O Magazine, NPR, Ladies Get Paid, The Huffington Post, and more.

• Website: https://youwannadowhat.com 
• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@youwannadowhat
• TEDx Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/monica_rivera_the_flipside_of_loneliness_jan_2019 

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 55.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

Monica Rivera had to learn to become her own best friend. But how do you do that when you’ve lost everyone you’ve ever loved?

In this two-part episode, business coach and TEDx speaker Monica shares how losing her entire biological family in a short period of time afflicted her not only with a deep grief, but also a unique kind of loneliness. And how she finally learned to cope—by discovering herself through curiosity and exploration.

Curiosity + Exploration = Becoming your own BFF

Hear Monica speak on how she designed a thriving life in spite of her grief, the impact of origin stories, and having the audacity to chase your dreams even when the deck feels stacked against you.

"Live before you die."

About Monica:
Monica Rivera (she/her) is a speaker, a reformed self-doubter, and a business coach with a passion for building empowering communities.
With over two decades worth of marketing experience, Monica has climbed the corporate ladder working in various Fortune 500 companies.

Drawing on her own challenging experiences, Monica founded YOU WANNA DO WHAT?!, a coaching practice dedicated to helping women of color build personal brands and businesses around their passions. Monica is a TEDx speaker and has been featured in Business Insider, O Magazine, NPR, Ladies Get Paid, The Huffington Post, and more.

If her words or story resonate with you, Monica invites you to book a free 45-minute clarity call to see if coaching is a fit at https://calendly.com/youwannadowhat/consult

• Website: https://youwannadowhat.com 
• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@youwannadowhat
• TEDx Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/monica_rivera_the_flipside_of_loneliness_jan_2019 

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 54.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

If you hate new year's resolutions, or the idea of "new year, new me" then you might like a Word of the Year better.

This episode guides you through setting an intention for your year ahead (as opposed to concrete SMART goals) via a seven-step method for finding the perfect word. It's a unique approach that includes reflecting on the previous year, visualizing your aspirations for the year ahead, brainstorming words that resonate with you, and much more.

There's no such thing as a wrong word, so you can't fail at this like you might a resolution. Embrace your chosen word, as an intention, theme, guidepost, or mantra for the year. Discover how to pick a word that will set the tone for your best year yet.

If you want a copy of the workbook mentioned (including nearly 400 example words),  don't forget to join the Substack community at this post: https://pauletteerato.substack.com/p/dive-into-2024-with-a-word-of-the-year

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 53.

Word nerd websites:

• WordHippo.com
• Thesaurus.com
• Wordle

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

Want more confidence? Hack your brain!

While brain hacking sounds mysterious (if not illegal—and painful!), it's simply the latest way to describe an effective neuroscientific method that rewards you with a “hit” of the happiness (or pleasure) hormone, dopamine. You can harness this to increase your motivation, which then fuels your confidence and can positively impact your creativity, and even productivity. 

How do you access it? By recognizing your own progress, or what I call “celebrating your wins.” 

Is it really that simple? Yes! But how? Because when you recognize and celebrate your progress, your brain releases dopamine, aka the pleasure hormone. It works for babies, but we’ve forgotten this “one simple trick” as adults.

This re-released episode was originally titled 3 Epic Reasons to Celebrate Your Wins. Voted on by Substack subscribers as the last episode of the year because they wanted to finish 2023 strong! You can too by listening to this episode for the 3 key takeaways:

1.  what's happening in your brain when you celebrate
2.  how depriving yourself of these celebrations hurts you
3.  why doing this regularly keeps you motivated and excited to get what you want

Don't forget to join the Substack community to make your voice heard on future episodes and content too: https://pauletteerato.substack.com/

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 52.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

Storyteller Talia Molé, an activist, anthropologist, and artist, shares her journey confronting societal pressures, the impact of language on reproductive rights, and her mission to redefine motherhood. From fighting for a hysterectomy to battling for debt forgiveness, Talia is a powerhouse.

In this re-released episode, we dive deep into the significance of storytelling, dismantling patriarchal narratives, and celebrating various forms of motherhood and family. While emphasizing the need for storytelling as a vehicle for healing and social change, Talia also touches upon how society's narrow definition of motherhood undermines the varied forms of support and love that individuals can offer to their communities. As the conversation unfolds, Paulette and Talia emphasize the importance of giving voices to different forms of motherhood beyond traditional perceptions, fostering solidarity and acceptance within their communities.

Key takeaways from this episode:

• Embracing the concept of "child-free" over "childless" empowers individuals to recognize their freedom and choice, instead of framing their lives as lacking something.
• Challenging the dominant narrative of motherhood involves elevating diverse forms of motherhood, resisting societal restrictions, and sustaining life through creative practices.
• Through storytelling and artistic expression, individuals can advocate for bodily autonomy and work towards social change, offering healing and support to their communities.

More about Talia:

Talia Molé believes in the artist as a rebellious and revolutionary teacher whose purpose is to disrupt the status quo inspiring conversations that lead to greater questioning and awakening within a communal body. As an artist, she has dedicated her time to understanding social change through different social spaces and disciplines within academia and beyond. She molded and polished her role as an activist/scholar with the help of a B.F.A. in Theatre Performance, an M.S. in Counseling, and a PhD in Anthropology and Social Change. Her field of research and exploration revolves around lived expressions of mother/motherhood/mothering, within marginalized populations, that serve as a radical remembrance of matriarchal ancestry, lineage and community.

Talia is the founder of "We are Phoenixing" a creative consultation business dedicated to mentoring creative practitioners.

For more about Talia, check out the extended show notes and transcript at PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 51.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

It's celebration time! Having achieved 50 episodes, it's a great time to use this milestone moment to look back on where we've been, how we got here, and where we're going to continue this journey of living our best lives—la vida más chévere!

With that are 6 recurrent themes that guide the essence of host Paulette Erato's life work, which is to help us all dismantle and rebel against the toxic cultural norms we all grew up with so that we can all live our best lives.

What does living your best life mean? Former guests give their interpretations, including everything from moving to your parent's homeland to rebelling against society's "shoulds," and even falling in love.

If you're wondering how you can design your best life, here are some real-life examples from people doing the damn thing!

Don't forget to pre-order Rena's book The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love
(aff link): https://amzn.to/3uA4Uf6


To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com/shownotes. This is episode 50.

Thanks to guests, mentors, and fans: Talia Molé, Rena Martine, Dra. Mildred Ortiz, Jamie Feinberg, and Fede Vargas all for contributing to this episode; Michelle Jackson and Ami Thakker Raval for their sage advice; and a special shout out to podcast fans Rosalba, Ryan, Deanna, Tori, and Jen! 

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new

Another childfree wedding success story —this time, it's a childfree destination wedding! 

Bride Andrea Watt shares her experience in throwing the childfree wedding she always wanted: at sunset on the beach with only a small group of adults as guests. It doesn't sound very demanding for a bride.

But of course, wedding planning is never without drama. With a huge family (45 cousins on her mom's side alone!) in 2 different states, and people without passports, how did Andrea and her husband pull off a childfree destination wedding in Cozumel?

Listen in to find out how this childfree destination wedding came together, the compromises that led to it being celebrated in 3 separate settings, what really caused the drama, and the fun tidbit about Andrea's wedding dress arriving in Mexico days AFTER she did.

For additional fun, check out the YouTube video for a glimpse of Andrea's gorgeous and unconventional wedding dress.

Your takeaway from this episode: a childfree wedding is absolutely worth it.

***Want to send in your childfree wedding story? Submit your story at pauletteerato.com/childfreewedding ***

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at pauletteerato.com/shop.

How to reach me:

• Email me at hola @ pauletteerato dot com
• DM me on Instagram @pauletteerato
• Join the LVMC Substack at https://pauletteerato.substack.com/
• Watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@lavidamaschevere
• Support the show at https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948831/supporters/new