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    My Perspective on Family and Parenting | Creating Confidence w/ Heather Monahan

    enMay 14, 2019

    Podcast Summary

    • Focus on passions and capabilities, not others' opinionsGary Vaynerchuk built confidence by valuing his own opinions and intentions, focusing on passions, and maintaining a mindset of zero expectation and entitlement.

      Gary Vaynerchuk, a successful entrepreneur, speaker, and best-selling author, has built his confidence through focusing on things he loves and is good at, and maintaining a mindset of zero expectation and entitlement. Despite the challenges he faced in his past, such as struggling with confidence during adolescence, he has learned to value his own opinions and intentions over others. His unique insularity and lack of entitlement have allowed him to find inner peace and confidence that many people aspire to achieve through various means. He encourages everyone to focus on their passions and capabilities, and not to overvalue others' opinions.

    • Embracing authenticity and resilience in a purpose-driven lifeAuthenticity, self-awareness, and resilience are crucial for living a purpose-driven life. Encourage children to trust their intuition and challenge the status quo, while building self-esteem through radical candor and lack of entitlement.

      Living a purpose-driven life filled with passion and gratitude, even if it means going against the norm, can have a profound impact on oneself and others. The speaker's experiences, from her upbringing to her interactions with young people today, illustrate the importance of authenticity, self-awareness, and resilience. She emphasizes the need to encourage children to trust their intuition and not be afraid to challenge the status quo, while also recognizing the importance of building self-esteem through radical candor and lack of entitlement. The speaker's story serves as a reminder that everyone's journey is unique, and that owning one's voice and experiences, even in the face of criticism or doubt, can lead to great success.

    • Instilling positive reinforcement and accountabilityBalance self-esteem with accountability, authentic confidence, and empathy to foster personal growth

      Building self-esteem and staying accountable are crucial for personal growth, but finding the right balance is a tight rope walk. The speaker shares how his mother instilled positive reinforcement for good behaviors while holding him accountable for poor academic performance. He also emphasizes the importance of authentic confidence and empathy when dealing with negativity and criticism. The speaker's experience with a remarkably negative grandmother taught him the importance of setting boundaries and not allowing others to tear him down. Overall, the speaker's journey highlights the importance of a strong foundation of self-esteem and accountability, balanced with empathy and resilience.

    • Nurture vs Nature: Parents' Backgrounds Shaped Speaker's OutlookBoth upbringing and genetics contribute to shaping who we become. The power to choose positive influences can lead to a successful, positive mindset and personal brand.

      Our upbringing and environment significantly shape who we become. The speaker's father, raised in the Soviet Union, had a negative outlook on life, while the speaker's mother, raised in difficult circumstances in America, remained positive. This contrast between their perspectives influenced the speaker's own outlook and drive to be a source of positivity for others. Despite the challenges in their lives, the speaker's parents were incredibly proud and supportive. The speaker recognizes that both genetics and environment play a role in shaping us, and we have the power to choose what influences us most. The speaker's personal brand and success come from this positive mindset and the desire to uplift others. Despite the potential risks of success, the speaker remains focused on their ideology and the impact they can have on others.

    • Focus on people and personal brand for growthPrioritizing people and authenticity can lead to unexpected opportunities, growth, and a positive impact on team members. Chasing practical passion brings happiness and fulfillment.

      Prioritizing people and building a strong personal brand can lead to remarkable benefits for both the individual and their team members. As Gary Vaynerchuk shared in the conversation, being selfless and caring about people can result in unexpected opportunities and growth. By focusing on authenticity and passion, individuals can attract like-minded individuals and create a community that pulls people towards them. This approach may seem aggressive or even narcissistic to some, but it's essential to remember that the ultimate goal is to chase one's passion and make a positive impact on others. Whether or not one achieves great notoriety or financial rewards, the process of pursuing practical passion can bring immense happiness and fulfillment.

    • Embracing the unknown and underestimatedPursue dreams, embrace uncertainty, and redefine success for happiness and contentment, not just wealth and material possessions.

      Embracing the unknown and being underestimated can lead to personal growth and happiness, even if it means experiencing losses or setbacks. The speaker shares how he thrived in the darkness of uncertainty since childhood, but understands that not everyone has had the same experience. He encourages passionately pursuing one's dreams, but also acknowledges that being a number two or supporting a leader can be a valid and fulfilling path. The speaker also challenges the societal norm of equating success with wealth and material possessions, advocating instead for a definition of success that prioritizes happiness and contentment. Ultimately, the speaker's unique perspective offers a fresh perspective on the importance of self-awareness, embracing the unknown, and redefining success.

    • Judge children based on potential future, not past experiencesRecognize unique talents, instill strong work ethic, and support children in unconventional paths for future success

      It's essential for parents to shift their perspective and judge their children based on their potential future instead of their past experiences. The speaker emphasizes that societal norms and what is considered cool or acceptable change over time. For instance, being a chef was not as cool as it is today, and in the future, professions like sports betting or being an Instagram celebrity might be more accepted and lucrative. The key to success for children in these non-traditional fields is having a strong work ethic. The speaker shares his personal experience of convincing his father to let him start a dotcom business despite his father's lack of computer experience at the time. Parents should recognize their children's unique talents and passions, even if they don't fit the conventional mold, and support them by instilling a strong work ethic from a young age. This approach will help prepare children for success in their chosen paths, regardless of what society may view as acceptable in the present.

    • Learning through practical experience and executionEncourage kids to work on real businesses or projects, gain market validation, build confidence, and learn valuable skills. Value their own work and achievements, not anonymous comments.

      Practical experience and execution are more valuable for children's growth and development than just theoretical ideas or ideological parenting. Parents should encourage their kids to work on real businesses or projects that make money, instead of letting them idle away their time. The market's validation, through sales or profits, is a powerful tool for building confidence and self-worth, rather than relying on individual human opinions. It's essential to teach kids to value their own work and achievements, and not let anonymous comments dictate their self-image. The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking feedback, both positive and negative, in stride, and not putting too much weight on any single opinion. By focusing on practical experience and execution, children can learn valuable skills, build confidence, and prepare for the real world.

    • Maintaining balance and staying groundedStay confident but humble, listen to feedback, understand everyone's struggles, and believe in your ability to control your life. Cutting off entitled adults financially may be necessary to help them develop resilience.

      It's important to maintain a balance between confidence and humility, and to listen to feedback without allowing it to affect you negatively. The speaker acknowledges the value of positive reinforcement but also the importance of staying grounded and empathetic towards others. They emphasize the need to understand that everyone has their own struggles and perspectives, and that it's essential to believe in one's ability to be in control of one's own life. The speaker also shares their belief that the entitled and over-spoiled can face unique challenges, and that cutting them off financially may be a necessary step to help them develop resilience.

    • The Impact of Wealth on Future GenerationsWealth can bring both comfort and discomfort, and it's important to support children's happiness and unique goals, rather than judging them based on wealth or circumstances.

      Wealth and its impact on future generations can bring both comfort and discomfort. The speaker shares his personal journey from feeling the pressure to give away his wealth to charity due to his belief that it's a problem, to wanting his children to have peace of mind and happiness above all else. He emphasizes the importance of not judging his children based on their reactions to their circumstances and encourages openness and understanding towards different perspectives. Additionally, the speaker expresses his desire to share his career experiences and message of resilience with a wider audience. Ultimately, he values the ability to provide peace of mind and happiness for his children above all else, recognizing that each child may have unique goals and aspirations.

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