Podcast Summary
Open conversation about pregnancy loss and support for grieving parents: 10-15% of known pregnancies end in loss, disproportionately affecting Black women, and support is crucial for healing after pregnancy loss
Pregnancy loss is a common experience, yet many parents and families suffer in silence without the necessary support. According to the National Institutes of Health, between 10-15% of known pregnancies end in loss, and this number may be even higher when unknown pregnancies are considered. Black women are disproportionately affected, being twice as likely to suffer both early pregnancy loss and stillbirths compared to white women. Despite its prevalence, many parents struggle to access the support they need. In this episode of Natal, hosts Martina Abraham Zalunga and Gabrielle Horton aim to change that by having an open conversation about pregnancy loss and providing resources for those who have experienced it. They invite black parents to share their stories and offer ways for friends, family, and healthcare professionals to support grieving parents. It's essential to remember that comfort and support are crucial for keeping individuals engaged in the activities they love, like parenting. Take care of yourself with Smartwool's merino wool socks and apparel, designed to keep you comfortable, and enjoy a celebratory brunch for less with Whole Foods Market's wallet-friendly finds.
Acknowledging pregnancy loss supports grieving families: Recognizing and acknowledging pregnancy loss is vital for families' emotional wellbeing, as silence and lack of support can harm them.
Acknowledging pregnancy loss is important for supporting families going through this experience. Pregnancy loss, also known as miscarriage or spontaneous abortion, can be a taboo subject in some cultures and households. It's important to understand that pregnancy loss can occur at any stage and the reasons for it are often unclear. Doctor Jameela Parrott, a board certified OBGYN, explains that most of the time, it's nature's way of ending a pregnancy that wasn't viable. The silence around pregnancy loss can be harmful, as it can make grieving families feel ignored or unsupported. Our speaker, whose mother suffered a miscarriage and later gave birth to twins, one of whom was stillborn, shared her experience of how her family and friends focused solely on the surviving child, leaving her and her parents feeling like the stillborn child didn't exist. Therefore, acknowledging and supporting families through their loss is crucial. Additionally, Apple Card offers rewards for purchases, with up to 3% daily cash back on purchases at Apple, 2% back on Apple Card purchases made with Apple Pay, and 1% back on other purchases made with the physical or virtual card. For more information, visit apple.com/cardcalculator. Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch, subject to credit approval. Terms apply.
Acknowledging and validating pregnancy loss: Understand there's nothing to blame or prevent loss, create space for grief, and remember everyone grieves differently. Establish a support system and communicate openly to help loved ones understand.
Acknowledgement and validation are crucial for those experiencing pregnancy loss. Asha Terry, a New York City-based psychotherapist, emphasizes that parents and loved ones should understand that there is nothing to blame or prevent such a loss. Feeling alone in the pain, even without expressing it, is common. Acknowledging the loss and the reality of the baby that was lost can help parents start grieving and healing. Secondly, it's essential to make space for grief and grace. Grief manifests differently for everyone, and it doesn't adhere to a schedule. Interrupted daily functioning, intrusive thoughts, and uncontrollable crying are some ways grief can present itself. It's important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. Creating a support system and establishing a communication word can help loved ones understand when someone needs extra space or support. Additionally, it's essential to remember that grief doesn't fit neatly into our calendars, and it's okay to take time to process the loss.
Communicating with those grieving: Words matter: Be mindful of language, ask open-ended questions, offer presence through listening, touch, or simple gestures to support those grieving
During times of loss, the way we communicate and show up for those grieving can greatly impact their healing process. When Yvonne experienced multiple miscarriages over a decade, she not only had to deal with her own grief but also help her young daughter cope. It's essential to be mindful of the language we use and avoid unhelpful, judgmental questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions like "how can I show up for you today?" Be present in various ways, such as offering a listening ear, a comforting touch, or a simple gesture like a thoughtful card. These acts of kindness can provide immense comfort and validation to those grieving, creating a lasting impact on their emotional wellbeing.
Supporting Parents After Pregnancy Loss: Practical and Emotional Help: Parents going through pregnancy loss need emotional and practical support. They can ask for specific help, explore care options like therapy and support groups, and consider a bereavement doula for additional assistance.
Being present for someone going through a pregnancy loss can take many forms, from emotional support to practical help, and it's important for parents to ask for what they need. Asha shared the administrative tasks that can be overwhelming after a loss, such as returning baby items or planning a memorial. Parents should also explore their care options, including therapy, support groups, and doula services. Erica McAfee, a founder of Sisters in Loss, discussed the role of a bereavement doula who supports families before, during, and after a loss, providing emotional and practical assistance, and connecting them to resources. A bereavement doula can be a valuable addition to a family's care team, regardless of the pregnancy's outcome. Parents don't have to wait for offers of support; they can ask for specific types of help they need. Additionally, there are resources available, such as Sisters in Loss, which offers a community for black parents navigating life after pregnancy and infant loss and infertility.
Accessing Holistic Care for Pregnancy Loss: Despite growing demand, there's a gap in coverage and accessibility for full spectrum and bereavement doula services. Connect with local doulas through resources, collaborate with healthcare providers, and remember support is available.
While the demand for full spectrum and bereavement doula services is growing in the US, there is still a significant gap in coverage and accessibility. These services can be costly, but options such as sliding scales, payment plans, and pro bono work exist. For those interested, resources like Google, doula directories, and social media can help connect families with local doulas. However, access to these services can be particularly challenging for marginalized communities and those without adequate insurance coverage. Healthcare providers and birth workers are encouraged to collaborate and connect families to holistic care options, putting the person experiencing pregnancy loss at the center of the care model. Ultimately, advocacy and support are crucial when dealing with pregnancy loss, and it's important to remember that help is available and you don't have to face this experience alone. Start by acknowledging the loss and the emotions that come with it.
Navigating Grief After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth: Give space and grace during grieving, honor the lost baby's memory, take care of yourself, and utilize resources for support.
Grieving is a complex and personal process, and it's important to give ourselves and others the space and grace to navigate it in our own ways. Whether you're a parent who has experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth, or a loved one supporting someone through that loss, it's essential to be tender and present with one another. Honoring the memory of the baby lost and taking care of yourself are crucial parts of the healing journey. Additionally, there are resources available, such as bereavement doulas and virtual support groups, that can provide valuable assistance and connection during this difficult time. For healthcare providers, collaborating with colleagues to connect grieving families to these resources can make a significant difference. Remember, if you're grieving, you're still a parent, and honoring your baby's memory can be a powerful way to heal and find comfort.
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