Nostalgia: Fact? Fiction? Fantasy?

This week we explore the concepts of False Self and True Self, as defined by that book we've been referencing lately. While of course we all intuitively have a sense of those definitions as they apply to ourselves, we try to explore the concepts more deeply. We specifically discuss examples of how we've operated from a false self place by prioritizing others' rules and expectations over our own, but we also talk about growing into more true self expression, even if it makes our lives messier sometimes. These concepts are also applied to the choice to remain kidless. 

Resource: Comprehensive Dictionary of Psychoanalysis by Salman Akhtar
IG: @kidless_pod

A discussion on mourning. We discuss: 1. The role of mourning in human life. 2. How mourning can be applied narrowly (a death) or broadly (all losses and changes, big and little). 3. It's necessary for peaceful passage through life. 4. How idealization of what was lost can prevent mourning and therefore peaceful passage through life. 5. Ashley hurts Eric's feelings early in the show, which is discussed toward the end and helps us  get to a final part of the discussion: 6.  If you make a choice, and you feel sad once the choice is made, that doesn't mean you've made the wrong decision. You're not a robot. Let yourself feel it.

**One thing we didn't say in the episode: Even if you're sad after choosing to not have children, it doesn't mean you've made the wrong decision. You have to let yourself acknowledge the path you didn't take and what it means so that you can be open to what blessings you will receive. 

We tried to use as many examples from our lives as we could think of. Hope you find this helpful. 

Resource: Comprehensive Dictionary of Psychoanalysis by Salman Akhtar
IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

This week we tackle this definition of nostalgia: "Nostalgia is a mixed affective state of pain and joy associated with the wish to recapture an idealized past. Pain is evoked by the awareness of separation from old objects (people) and joy by a fantasized reunion with an idealized version of them through reminiscences."

We use our own experiences and those of some celebs like Leonardo Dicaprio to think about this concept. 

Find Ashley on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

We ponder meaningful and marked goodbyes and their importance while reflecting on  past experiences as well as our current parting with our home of 5 years . 

IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

As any real conversation should, we meander a bit until we get to the meat of something currently important to us. We do end up connecting some dots, and the takeaway is something like: you bring your battles to your doorstep, you choose them, and you can also unchoose them. 

IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

We take you through this past week's chaos - are we selling our house? Getting an apartment? Developing tumors or watching our house collapse? Divorcing? All possible.
(Jkjkjkjkjk I watch Eric sleep at night - you think I'd let him leave me??? -A)

IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

A little follow-up on how Eric's doing post-surgery and then a bigger discussion about how important is to claim and feel claimed in our relationships. How taking ownership over friendships helps to keep them afloat. 

Well, it's a shorter episode because it's still freshly post-op for Eric, and he gets tired easily, but we wanted to check in and update everyone on the nose surgery and how it went/how it's going. 

We start with a brief discussion about whether non-parents are justified to speak about parenting, and we follow-up on the Vegas trip and let you in on some of the internal battles we fought re: [our fears of] irresponsibility while simply trying to live our best high fashion lives. 

Contact us on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

Do you guys go out? Do you guys see people? Are we the problem? Isolation is the name of the game for us - HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS?! 

DM us on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc