In this solo-episode, Aaron talks about emotionally responding to the COVID-19 pandemic. How we can choose to isolate or collaborate. Collaborating and coming together actually keeps us sane.
:26 min
Here we are. Welcome back. This is the kind of love I’m NOT looking for. This virus right? These are strange times. But its also these strange times that slow us down. We have choice in the matter. We can choose to jump into a survival strategy, freak out, and do all of those things and react out of fear and anxiety. Or we can choose to slow down. It forces us to do one or the other.
Its funny as a human race that we wait for crisis. We what for something really bad to happen like a relationship gone wrong. The loss of a job, a weird virus that shows up out of nowhere and completely takes over globally.
1:23 min
This episode is unusual solo episode where I’m challenged, and I invite you to slow down and listen, not to me necessarily, but to yourself. We are meant to survive and thrive of course, but then we are also meant to share as a people. When heartache and pain and frustrated and death and all of the things tat we’re confused by. When all of these things happen, we can either isolate, and not just physically isolating, but isolate in anxiety, depression, or anger. Anything that separates us emotionally from the world around us. Its a major reality check. What’s your reality ?
2:22 min
Who we are has a ripple effect in our life. Who we are effects the people around us. We have a chance right now to choose to isolate in our own little ways or collaborate.
2:40 min
How do we come together? How do we do the thing thats unusual, or unnatural? The thing that takes us out of our comfort zone.
The big question is what do we want the story to look like? What do we want the result to be from this time? And the hardest part is that we don’t have control over much of anything other than ourselves and how we respond.
So do you choose to respond in love or in some state of fear? How do you speak love into your life and truth into your life right now?
How do you hold on? Or Is it better to let go?
3:35 min
Better questions always lead to better answers. If you’re struggling out there internally. This is part of my self-love and self-talk practice… try slowing down and asking yourself whats the story going on right now for me? What am I telling myself ?
3:50 min
In a way our fear of the unknown can be our enemy. We scatter to do all of these strategies and all these other ways of being to control the outcome. Not that we shouldn’t do anything. We should be proactive and protect what we have. But, we can also give. And how do we give when a lot of people are scared out of their minds?
4:20 min
A lot of people have fear about where the economy is headed. Some of us are grasping at straws, some of us are grasping at toilet paper. But I think the greatest strength that we have as humans during this time is to come together. And I know I’ve bee really grateful. My friends can be my hero’s. There’s been a lot of friends that have helped me, and that always reminds me to try to support others.
4:55 min
What do I mean by collaborate ? If you’re an artists, musician, painter, entrepreneur, or you’ve heard the song ice ice baby from the 90s, you know what collaborate means. I’ve seen a lot of businesses here in Nashville step up and help people in need.
5:20 min
When we’re collaborating we are creating a new story for ourselves. We’re thinking about things differently. WE’re being way more intentional. And choosing to do something great.
When we feel a sense of gratitude, like we’ve just received something. When we feel a sense of “ I was able to give something to someone that I didn’t think I had,” it fills you back up again.
5:50 min
When we go spiraling down into depression, or anger, or anxiety, confusion, we think we’re alone in the matter. But, you’re not alone. And its ok to not be ok. And its also not ok to live there.
How long do you want to stay in this familiar uncomfortable place? How long do you want to hold on to your melancholy? How long do you want to hold on to your anger?
6:24 min
Instead ask, What would a better version of yourself look like on the other side of this? And how could you connect with other people in this time?
6:40 min
In Nashville its been mostly raining during this time . And right before the Virus hit us, there was a destructive tornado that touched town. It could be a slippery slope to spiral into worst case scenario and think this is dooms day.
It doesn’t have to be dooms day. But it’s definitely a reality shift for all of us to show us how fragile we can be. To show us that we don’t have control over everything. It levels the plane for our entire society. Entitlement starts to dissolve when we’re all stuck in our houses and we’re faced with things about to fall apart.
7:17 min
All of the things that we’ ve taken for granted in our lives. And all the things we just expect to be apart of our lives, like the roofs over our heads and our baristas making our latte’s the way we want them made
Everything that we readily have access to, their value changes. But, really our perspective just changes.
So what’s the narrative that is actually life giving? What does the story look like from here on out?You have a ripple effect with where you want to go with your own story.
7:55 min
Coming together keeps us sane. We live between two extremes. We can choose to see that this virus is the worst thing ever, that our world is falling apart, that this is the worst thing ever, and be scared out of our minds. Or, we can see this as an opportunity.
8:15 min
I like to see these situations as a gift. What can I learn form this. We’re faced at looking at the essentials of our life. We’re all faced with look at what really matter.
So How can we look at the valuable things in our life? And keep those valuable things? And be grateful for those valuable things. Maybe, just maybe on the other side of this, come out as better versions of ourselves.
8:40
What would it look like for you to choose to isolate or collaborate? What if you just calibrated with one person on something, maybe it was a drawing, maybe it was a business, or maybe a delicious meal.
Slow down, get into the present moment and ask yourself, “Is this decision I’m about to make, is it based in the fear of the unknown, or is it based in who I know I am?”
9:03 min
Slowing down forces us to rethink and reframe our story. How do we begin to survive, and then thrive?
First by sharing, by collaborating, by offering up our resources and talents, by being honest with ourselves, and being willing to give. When you give it gives back.
9:30 min
We’re al forced to look around and see what we have. Can we give what have? Do we hoardr what we have ? How can we come together and build a better sustainable, healthy, world for ourselves.
Its ironic to think that it takes physically distancing to see that we have an opportunity to connect every day.
Final thoughts
9:57 min
Love isn’t a feeling. Passion, joy, and excitement are feelings. Love is something you do.
How do you create love within yourself so it becomes a ripple effect. And you’re able to come together and create something great.
Sometimes it takes crisis to let us know we need a shift in our reality. But, We can really choose this at any time. You don’t have to wait for crisis to hit.
10:30 min
This pandemic just slowed us down enough to notice that now is the time.
Small changes have there own ripple effect. Whats something you can do?
What's one routine change, one thing we can give to someone that they can't give themselves, one thing we can do to make our life better, one thing to make our healthy, one thing to grow your business, one thing to connect with someone else and create connection?
11:05 min
Whats just one thing you can do, today? something different, something new, something out of your comfort zone. There's going to be a ripple effect.
You know there's that old saying "its not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country." What if we replaced the word country with other things that we care about in our life like family, friends, partners, community, your finances, your life, your business? Whatever that thing is that you want to have change in your personal world.
11:42 min
It's not what your life can do for you but what you can do for your life. You get to choose. That's real empowerment. As I challenge myself, I invite you to go take one small action step to cause a shift, to the change the thing you want to see happen. Then the next day, do one more small action. And so on.
Closing
12:04 min
Hey thanks for listing to this mini episode of the kind of love podcast. I hope that you’re getting the kind of love you’re looking for. This is season has been brought to you by me mainly, a self-love, self-talk, self-affirmation, and self-acceptance coach.
You can always connect with me at aarontosti.com or thekindoflove.com
This season is wrapping up. Next season we’ll be talking about self healing, self-care, and different modalities that help us to get back into being centered, balanced people. A lot of that has to do with stress, and how it takes us away form being our best selves. But if we can get back to being our best self, it will create a ripple effect of love in our life.
12:50 min
I’d like to thank our sponsors this season Soundstripe.com If you are a content creator and you want to put music to your podcast, video, or whatever content you create that could be even better with music underneath it. You can go to the kindoflove.com/promo and get 10% OFF an entire year of music of unlimited music by Soundstripe.
13:15 min
You’ve been listening to the first season of The Kind of Love Podcast. A podcast where we explore the internal struggles and internal dialogue that might be holding you back from the kind of love you’re looking for.
I’m your coach Aaron. Best of Love to you.
