Comparing oneself in relationships can lead to anxiety and insecurity: 72% of audience admitted experiencing comparison in relationships, it's important to recognize and address the root causes to promote self-acceptance and contentment.
People don't fall in love with individual features or aspects, but rather with the complete package. However, comparing oneself to others in a partner's life can lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity, affecting peace and happiness in relationships. Surprisingly, 72% of the audience admitted experiencing this issue. Comparison, regardless of personal achievements or improvements, can still be a persistent issue. Contrary to popular belief, attaining desired successes does not eliminate the potential for comparison. Instead, it's crucial to recognize and address the root causes of these feelings and learn strategies to promote self-acceptance and contentment.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to dissatisfaction and misery: Instead of focusing on external features or stats, embrace inner qualities and self-worth, and celebrate unique strengths and qualities in ourselves and others.
Comparing ourselves to others based on superficial features or stats can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and misery. Instead, it's essential to remember that people don't fall in love with individual features or characteristics, but rather the complete package that each person represents. We are more than just our height, looks, wealth, or job title. It's crucial to focus on our inner qualities and self-worth, rather than constantly comparing ourselves to others and seeking validation through external means. By embracing this perspective, we can learn to appreciate ourselves and our relationships more fully. Additionally, it's important to remember that everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses, and no one can be the best at everything. Comparison can breed fear and insecurity, especially in romantic relationships. So, instead of focusing on the perceived "perfect" partner, we should celebrate the unique qualities and strengths that our partners bring to the table. In essence, we are all packages, not just features, and our worth goes beyond the numbers or characteristics that society may deem important.
Comparing yourself to others in a relationship is not productive: Instead of focusing on superficial comparisons, value the depth and history you share with your partner
Everyone brings a unique package of qualities to a relationship, including personality, looks, ambition, history, and quirks. Comparing oneself to others, such as a funnier or taller person, does not mean your partner will leave you for them. Instead, it's essential to remember that you are more than just one aspect of yourself. If your partner leaves for someone else, it may not have been the right match in the first place. Focus on the depth and history you share with your partner, rather than comparing yourself to others based on superficial features.
Prioritizing superficial qualities in relationships leads to disappointment: Instead of chasing superficial features, focus on authentic connections and the whole person to build strong, lasting relationships
People who prioritize superficial qualities or features in their relationships will inevitably face disappointment and suffering. Those who are always on the hunt for the most attractive, wealthy, or accomplished partner will pay a heavy price for their narrow perspective. On the other hand, individuals who value authentic connections and look beyond external appearances will not lose their significant others to these superficial features. Instead, they may encounter challenges and hardships, but if they can embrace these experiences with a "love your fate" attitude, they will be more likely to build strong, lasting relationships. The Greek philosophy concept of amor fati encourages us to accept and even love our ups and downs, recognizing that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and that it's essential to see the full package when evaluating potential partners. By focusing on the whole person and their unique qualities, we can cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections.
Appreciate and love your unique story: Focusing on others or superficial features isn't productive. Cherish your personal story and experiences, and find a partner who values them too.
Focusing on comparing yourself to others and superficial features is not productive or healthy. Instead, it's important to appreciate and love the unique challenges and experiences that make up your personal story. The right person for you will be someone who cherishes your story and the battles you've won, both internally and externally. Conversely, someone who doesn't value your story and experiences is not the right match for you. During our recent episode, we also discussed the opportunity to attend a virtual retreat for personal growth and transformation. It's a powerful way to gain valuable tools, insights, and a roadmap for positive change in your life. Join us at mhvirtualretreat.com for more information.
(Rewind): What People Really Fall in Love With…
Recent Episodes from Love Life with Matthew Hussey
263: Protect Yourself In Dating With This Mindset
Do you find some relationships and situations in life that just drain you? Maybe there are people you're investing energy into in your dating life that make you feel burnt out, frustrated, and make you want to withdraw entirely.
So if you want to spend your time in a happier, freer, more productive way that leaves you uplifted, this episode is for you. Matt gives 7 key insights from the book "Protect Your Peace" by Trent Shelton that will change your mindset and stop you surrounding yourself with toxic people that add to your stress in life.
►► Answers Tailored to You, In Real Time, When You Need Them Most.
Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free at . . .
→ http://www.AskMH.com
►► Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com
►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → http://www.DatingWithResults.com
(Matt Monday): Why Does Dating Feel So Hard In 2024??
►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com
(Rewind): If They Pull Away, Text This Response...
What can you do when you feel like you're getting excuses and feel they're pulling away in their texts? If you don't want to play games, here's a simple way you can be honest, vulnerable, but still keep your standards when you respond.
►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com
262: "I Want A Serious Relationship, But They Want To 'See How Things Go'"
How do you know is someone is ready for a relationship? What if they use phrases in their dating app like "If the right person came along, I'd be open to a relationship", or "I want to see how things go"?
In this episode, Matt, Audrey and Stephen discuss how certain you need to be of someone's intentions in the early dating stages and how you should decide who to invest in so you don't waste your time with the wrong person.
►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com
261: How To Deeply Connect To The Hidden Power Of The Five Hearts w/ Kimberly Snyder
- Get Out Of A Rut And Tap Into Your Intuition
- Stop Settling And Feeling Unworthy Love
- Become More Emotionally Resilient
- Overcome Fear, Anxiety and Burnout
- Feel More Internally Fulfilled And Empowered
- Step Into A State Of Flow
(Matt Monday): How To Respond To "Bare Minimum" Texting
►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com
(Rewind): 3 Mistakes People Make When It Comes To Exclusivity in Dating
It’s very easy to avoid having certain conversations in life. And one of the more dangerous forms of avoidance is assuming we’re exclusive when it’s unclear in early dating. So when should you have The Conversation? And what are some of the pitfalls that lead to people being “in limbo” and never really getting the commitment they want?
In this episode, Matthew, Stephen and Audrey talk about 3 common mistakes in the early dating stage and how to get clearer about where you really stand.
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►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . . → http://www.AskMH.com
260: He Seemed Attracted...Then Pulled Away. Why?
Ever felt like you had chemistry and were falling for someone, and then they seem to start texting less, stop scheduling dates, and seem to be fading out? What does this mean? And more importantly, should you have "the conversation" to see where you stand?
In this episode, Matthew, Stephen and Audrey talk to a caller who felt the guy she was seeing wasn't interested anymore after he went on vacation. They discuss how to respond and what some the reasons might be behind this behavior.
►► Ask Matthew AI Your Biggest Dating Question for Free Now at. . .
→ http://www.AskMH.com
(Matt Monday): Feel Them Pulling Away? DO NOT Chase; Do THIS Instead!
Ever been dating someone who suddenly goes cold when they go on a trip out of town? What happened? And how should you respond to this behavior?
Today’s episode is all about what happens when we invest too soon, and how someone’s “radio silence” can trigger our insecurity. I even provide two text messages you can send: one for if they reach back out to you when they’re back in town, and one for when they don’t.
BTW, don’t miss our HUGE announcement in this one (it’s right after Audrey’s cheeky cameo). ;) You’ll be one of the first people in the world to try this thing out . . . it’s crazy!
►► 17 Years of Love Life Coaching Experience in Your Pocket Whenever You Need It.
Get on the Early Bird List for Matthew AI Now at. . .
→ http://www.AskMHFirst.com
►► Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com
►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → http://www.DatingWithResults.com
(Rewind): Heal Your Broken Heart. Starting Now.
When your heart gets broken, it can be as painful as any physical trauma.
You can't eat. The world seems dark. Your every thought is tinged with a feeling of loss and hopelessness.
But there are STILL choices.
And the ones you make now will decide whether you stay feeling broken and defeated, or whether you heal and come back feeling stronger, more confident, and ready to love again.
Here's how to get on the right path back to YOU . . .
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►► Transform Your Relationship With Life in 6 Magical Days. Learn More About The Matthew Hussey Retreat at. . . . → http://www.MHRetreat.com
►► Pre-Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → http://www.LoveLifeBook.com
►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → http://www.DatingWithResults.com
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#69 - The Blueprint of a Good LIFE: Values, Virtues, Ethics, and Behaviour with Ryan A Bush
Join us in a transformative conversation with Ryan A. Bush. The author of ‘Become Who You Are,’ A new theory of self-esteem, human greatness and the opposite of depression.
Get the new book - https://designingthemind.org/becoming
More about Ryan here - https://designingthemind.org/philosophy/
Takeaways
- The process of designing and changing one's mind is essential for personal growth and well-being.
- Virtues, ethics, and values are crucial for living a good life and experiencing deep fulfillment.
- Suffering is not necessary for happiness, but it can sometimes lead to personal growth and meaning.
- Taking small steps and focusing on virtue domains can help individuals become the person they admire.
- Community and support are important for personal development and overcoming challenges.
- Difficult times can be overcome with the support of community and mentors.
- Understanding evolutionary psychology can provide insights into self-esteem and well-being.
- The sociometer theory suggests that self-esteem serves as a fitness indicator in social and sexual selection.
- The concept of self involves a balance between self-acceptance and self-improvement.
- Values and beliefs play a significant role in society and can influence individual and collective well-being.
- Self-compassion and self-acceptance are important for personal growth and happiness.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background
01:14 The Book: Become Who You Are
05:05 Curiosity and Self-Reflection
08:31 The Essence of the Good Life
13:32 Virtue, Ethics, and Values
15:21 Suffering and Well-being
18:29 Cultivating Virtues and Values
22:07 Acting Your Way into Right Thinking
25:24 Dealing with Negative Thoughts and Self-Appraisals
28:08 Finding Support and Community
33:29 Taking Small Steps and Focusing on Virtue Domains
41:02 The Importance of Community and Support
45:00 Overcoming Difficult Times
48:00 Evolutionary Psychology and Self-Esteem
53:20 The Sociometer Theory of Self-Esteem
56:30 The Concept of Self
59:50 The Role of Ego and Virtue Signaling
01:03:20 The No Self Doctrine
01:06:00 The Ego as Friend or Enemy
01:09:40 Values and Beliefs in Society
01:13:40 Self-Compassion and Self-Acceptance
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Professional medical care and psychotherapeutic services are not offered on this Youtube channel. It is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professionals for any such condition
Seeking professional support is encouraged if you think you have an issue and that you want help.
E188: Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction
188: Coming Home to Ourselves: Uncovering Happiness and Inner Peace with Sonia Jhas
Constantly searching for validation and happiness outside of ourselves can be an exhausting and often disappointing journey which is why we must learn how to come home to ourselves.
Finding neutrality in our journeys without so much pressure on the outcome or the ideas of the outside world is a practice that Sonia Jhas has been working on for years.
Sonia gave up her skyrocketing corporate career and through her journey of deep analysis, education, determination, and willpower she uncovered a deep passion for wellness, as well as a driving desire to help others.
She made it her mission to help people live their best lives through online talks, speaking engagements, television appearances, and coaching.
The TEDx speaker and award-winning mindset and wellness expert’s enthusiasm, sense of humor, and openness about her own journey have earned her a reputation as an unstoppable force in the wellness arena. She is the author of the book, I’ll Start Again Tomorrow (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself).
I’m so excited for you to hear this vulnerable conversation with Sonia.
We’re going to dig into:
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[4:50] What does happiness mean to Sonia
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[8:34] Finding neutrality to find your own inner peace and happiness
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[11:48] How to get out of your own head
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[17:25] Who would you be if no one was watching?
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[18:45] Diving into the story of how she wrote her book
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[29:13] How do you keep growing and evolving without having to start from scratch each time?
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[36:35] The problem of burning ourselves out while chasing after the myth of getting “there” and THEN things calming down
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[38:55] The drive of fear and our idea of safety
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[46:00] How can someone create a little more happiness each day starting today
Resources:
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Podcast Resources: https://www.simonacostantini.com/resources
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Apply to be a podcast guest: https://forms.gle/WtXHsqZmiEhCwTAk6
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Sonia’s book: https://soniajhas.com/startagaintomorrow/
Connect with Sonia
Connect with Simona
32. BEING BRAVE: What does it take to REALLY be Brave?
