S3 E7: Kelly Holmes: Self-harm, breakdown and fear of coming out: A double Olympic champion's incredible story of resilience and strength

Mental health struggles, including depression and self-harm, can affect anyone, even high-achieving individuals like double Olympic champion Dame Kelly Holmes. During her interview on Big Fish, she bravely shared her experiences and the importance of speaking out about mental health issues. Holmes discovered her talent for running at a young age and dedicated herself to it, but the pressure to succeed led her to depression and self-harm. Her story serves as a reminder that success comes with challenges and that seeking help is essential for mental well-being. Holmes' advice for those aspiring to reach their goals is to stay focused and determined, even when faced with adversity. Her memoir, Unique, offers a raw and honest look into her journey and serves as an inspiration for all.

Becoming an international athlete requires dedication, hard work, and a clear goal. The journey to achieving Olympic standards doesn't just happen overnight. It involves sacrifices, including potentially missing out on certain experiences during childhood. However, for those who are determined and resilient, the rewards can be great. Talent alone is not enough; it's the time and effort put into refining that talent that makes the difference. The road to success is filled with challenges, including injuries, setbacks, and competition from others. But those who believe in themselves and don't give up have the best chance of reaching their goals. The analogy of climbing Mount Everest is fitting - while many may dream of reaching the summit, only a few actually make it due to the determination and perseverance required to overcome the obstacles along the way. Ultimately, it's not just about having talent, but also about having the passion, heart, and determination to see it through to the end.

Resilience and determination can stem from various sources, including personal experiences and the encouragement of influential figures. The speaker, for instance, didn't have a sports-oriented upbringing but discovered her inner strength and drive to stand out when she felt different. Her PE teacher's belief in her abilities and pushing her to participate in races despite her initial reluctance was a turning point. The memory of losing the first race and her teacher's insistence that she stick with athletics ignited her dislike for losing and set her on a path to success. Ultimately, the combination of her unique background, personal experiences, and the support of a mentor played a significant role in shaping her resilient and determined mindset.

Having a competitive mindset can be a significant driving force in achieving success, no matter the field or challenge. The speaker shares her experience of feeling disappointed at coming second in a school cross country race, but later finding joy and motivation in pushing herself to improve and compete in longer races. She emphasizes the importance of staying determined and using setbacks as learning opportunities. The speaker also highlights the difference between objective results in sports and the subjective nature of life, encouraging a focus on personal growth and accountability. Ultimately, the competitive spirit can help individuals strive for excellence and stay motivated to improve, even when facing tough competition.

The mindset of an athlete, driven by a relentless hunger for success, can propel them through injuries and setbacks to achieve their goals. However, reflecting on past races and easing up on self-imposed pressure could have led to even greater achievements. The goals and purpose of an athlete may shift as they age and taste success, but the determination to push through adversity remains a constant. Athletes often struggle to determine when it's time to retire, as the fear of regret can keep them going long after their bodies and minds are ready to give up. The unexpected passing of a driven and successful colleague served as a wake-up call for the speaker, leading them to retire from their sport. The experience of constantly fighting to stay at the top, regardless of the personal cost, is a common theme in sports and a reminder of the importance of balance in pursuing one's dreams.

Personal experiences and challenges can shape our paths in life and lead us to discover our true passions and strengths. Kelly's decision to join the army at a young age was driven by a desire for a career and a sense of restlessness with her current circumstances. The discipline and rigor of military life helped her develop physically and mentally, leading her to become a successful physical training instructor. Later in life, she came to terms with her sexuality and found the courage to come out, which brought her immense relief and allowed her to live authentically. Through her experiences, Kelly learned the importance of being true to oneself and striving to be the best version of oneself, regardless of external pressures or expectations.

Coming out and living authentically can be a long and challenging journey, especially when faced with societal prejudice and institutionalized discrimination. The speaker, a former athlete, shared their experience of hiding their sexual identity in the military during a time when being gay was against the law. They faced the fear of being outed, which could lead to severe consequences such as expulsion, jail time, and bullying. The speaker's fear of being found out persisted even after they left the military and became a successful athlete. They emphasized that the fear of judgment and bigotry prevented them from living their true selves fully. The speaker's story highlights the importance of acceptance and the need to challenge societal norms that limit individual freedom and expression. The speaker's courage to come out and share their story is a reminder that living authentically, despite the challenges, is essential for personal growth and happiness.

Sharing a personal secret with someone trusted can provide relief, but it can also feel risky, especially when one's civilian life is detached from their military life. The speaker, who is a former soldier and Olympic athlete, shared his secret with a trusted friend when he was 27, and the friend's supportive reaction allowed the speaker to keep his secret hidden from others in the military. The speaker's dual life as a soldier and an athlete motivated him to continue competing, and he eventually came out to his close friends and family when he left the military. The importance of being open, honest, and transparent about one's journey, especially with a public profile, is a key message the speaker emphasizes.

Champion athletes like the speaker use various methods, including contrast therapy (hot and cold treatments), proper nutrition, and quick recovery to optimize their performance. The speaker shared an anecdote about Sally Gunnell, a British athlete, who suggested taking cold showers to boost adrenaline and refresh the body. The speaker tried it and won her race. Later, at a holding camp before the Olympics, she underwent intense cold and hot baths for recovery, which significantly improved her performance. These practices helped her push her limits and achieve remarkable results.

The fundamentals of health and wellness, such as massage, fasting, breathing techniques, and ice therapy, have existed for thousands of years but have recently gained popularity due to their psychological benefits. These practices, which were once primarily used for physical recovery, are now being embraced for their mental health advantages. For instance, ice therapy and breathwork can help manage trauma, anxiety, and stress by inducing a shock to the system and triggering a response that can improve overall well-being. As an athlete, practicing these techniques can lead to better mental focus and resilience, in addition to the physical benefits. Overall, these ancient practices continue to be relevant in modern times, offering both physical and mental health benefits.

Effective breath work and mental control are essential for optimal performance in sports and in life. The speaker shares her personal experience of using breath work to manage anxiety and recover from injuries and setbacks. She emphasizes the importance of being able to adapt and stay focused, rather than letting anxiety spiral out of control. The speaker also reveals her struggle with mental health issues and using sports as a way to suppress her feelings, leading to a breakdown. She highlights the need to prioritize mental health and well-being, and the importance of seeking help when needed. The breath work techniques used in sports are beneficial for everyone in managing stress and anxiety in various aspects of life.

Even during the most challenging moments in life, it's essential to refuse to give up and instead use those experiences as fuel for growth and success. The speaker shares her personal journey of experiencing depression and hitting rock bottom during her athletic career. She emphasizes that these low points don't define us but can be transformative if we choose to use them as opportunities to improve ourselves and our lives. The speaker also highlights the importance of building a strong support system and recognizing that no one can achieve their goals alone. By refusing to be a victim of adversity and instead using it as motivation, we can turn our lowest moments into our greatest triumphs.

Everyone deserves to be happy and fulfilled in life, but sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to make a decision to change or seek help. Fear can be paralyzing, but overcoming it can lead to a whole new world of possibilities. Success is subjective and can be achieved through setting and working towards goals, no matter how big or small. Diane, who lived in fear for 34 years, shares her journey of self-discovery and encourages everyone to seek help when needed and never give up on their dreams. She defines success as the determination to push oneself to achieve a goal, no matter the size or obstacles faced. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and there is always a way out of fear and despair.