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    Side of Effects of Living Out Loud Pt. 2 (with Ts Madison)

    enApril 19, 2023
    What does the speaker say about relationships and support?
    How does the speaker define the difference between surviving and thriving?
    What is the significance of being true to oneself?
    What does 'trauma bonding' refer to in the text?
    Why is authenticity emphasized in the speaker's experiences?

    Podcast Summary

    • Embrace Life's Journey and Cherish RelationshipsLife's about more than challenges, cherish relationships, find joy, be true, deserve companionship, strength comes in many forms, trust essential but protect self, learn from experiences, focus on present, genuine connections, trust everyone but protect self.

      Life is about more than just challenges or diagnoses. It's about cherishing relationships, finding joy in experiences, and being true to oneself. No matter what life throws at us, it's important to remember that we deserve companionship and support. Strength comes in many forms, and wanting companionship is not a weakness. Narcissists may exploit vulnerabilities, but it's not a reflection of one's worth. Trust is essential, but it's also crucial to keep a healthy sense of self-protection. The journey of life involves learning from experiences and growing, but it's important not to blame oneself for past mistakes. Instead, focus on the present and the desire for genuine connections. As Paulo Coelho said, "trust everyone, but never sell your sword."

    • Acknowledging the Importance of Conscious RelationshipsBe aware of the true nature of relationships and not let them define or limit us, even if they bring feelings of comfort or good experiences. Understand the motivations behind them and stay true to oneself.

      People can unintentionally form quick bonds based on feelings of comfort and good experiences, but it's essential to be aware of the true nature of these relationships and not let them consume us. The speaker acknowledges her past experiences with people who made her feel good, but she emphasizes the importance of being conscious and not letting these relationships define her or prevent her from growing. She also mentions the concept of "trauma bonding," where past experiences of being in difficult situations make one more cautious with their emotions and finances. The speaker shares her personal experiences of meeting famous people and her reactions to them, which she admits were not always appropriate, but she also highlights the importance of being true to oneself. Overall, the takeaway is to be aware of the motivations behind relationships and not let them define or limit us.

    • Understanding the value of therapy and overcoming barriers to seeking helpFear, mistrust, and time constraints can prevent people from seeking therapy for personal growth, but recognizing the importance of self-awareness and seeking support when needed can lead to increased joy and well-being. Representation and empowerment in media can also provide validation and connection for marginalized communities.

      Therapy can be a valuable tool for self-understanding and personal growth, but many people, including the speaker in this conversation, resist going due to fear, mistrust, or the belief that they don't have time. The speaker also expresses the importance of being true to oneself and acknowledging the ways in which we may be holding ourselves back from joy. Another theme that emerged from the conversation was the importance of representation and empowerment in media, particularly for black voices, which can provide a sense of connection and validation. In the context of the conversation, the speaker also reflected on the importance of recognizing and addressing abandonment issues, which can manifest in unexpected ways and impact our relationships and overall well-being. Ultimately, the conversation underscores the importance of self-awareness and the potential benefits of seeking help and support when needed.

    • Fear of abandonment leads to unhealthy relationships with narcissistsUnderstanding and addressing past abandonment issues can prevent repeating unhealthy patterns in relationships, allowing for healthier responses and improved communication.

      Abandonment issues from past experiences can lead individuals to form unhealthy relationships with narcissists. These individuals subconsciously seek out people who provide a sense of safety and security, only to find themselves becoming people pleasers and serving their partners' needs excessively. This behavior stems from a deep-rooted fear of being abandoned and repeats itself due to a lack of understanding of the root cause. Through therapy and self-awareness, individuals can identify and address these patterns, allowing them to respond to situations more effectively and healthily. In the speaker's personal experience, she was able to recognize her abandonment issues and the impact they had on her professional relationships, ultimately leading to heartbreak when a potential hire suddenly withdrew her availability.

    • Recognizing and addressing past experiencesRecognizing negative thought patterns from past experiences and seeking help can lead to personal growth and self-awareness.

      Our past experiences can trigger negative thought patterns and behaviors, but recognizing these patterns and seeking help can lead to personal growth and self-awareness. In the discussion, the speaker shared an experience of feeling used and abandoned, which triggered their abandonment issues and led them down a spiral of irrational thinking. They realized that they had been putting too much stock in someone else's role in their success and needed to remember their own worth and capabilities. Through therapy, they were able to identify and stop the spiral, recognizing the difference between having narcissistic behaviors and being a narcissist. They learned that while everyone has some narcissistic tendencies, being able to identify and address them is key to personal growth. The speaker encourages us all to recognize our own patterns and seek help when needed to become the best versions of ourselves.

    • The difference between surviving and thrivingStrive for authenticity, align with values, and aim for a healthy, empowered life rather than just getting by.

      It's important to be aware of the difference between surviving and thriving in life. Surviving can mean doing whatever it takes to get by, while thriving means having choices and living in a healthy, empowered way. The speaker shares her experience of realizing she had been surviving rather than thriving, and encourages others to strive for the latter. She also emphasizes the importance of authenticity and not getting involved in situations that don't align with one's values, using the example of a reality TV situation involving her sister. Additionally, she highlights the importance of representation and empowerment in black media.

    • Exploring Black Stories and TruthsBlack experiences add depth to America's history, and staying true to oneself is crucial for black individuals in a world that may seek to silence them.

      NPR's "Black Stories Black Truths" collection highlights the unique and diverse experiences of black individuals, showcasing stories of resilience, empowerment, and world-shifting events. Each episode offers a distinct black perspective, adding depth to the narrative of America's history. TS Madison, a guest on the podcast, emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself and maintaining one's voice in a world that often seeks to silence or diminish black people. She shares her personal experiences of persevering through adversity and staying authentic to her identity. The collection serves as a reminder that black stories and truths are essential to the broader narrative and should be centered and celebrated.

    • Understanding the bigger picture requires letting go of personal egoEmpathy, understanding, and open-mindedness are crucial for growth and creating a more inclusive world. Let go of personal attachments and listen to amplified voices to gain new perspectives.

      Letting go of personal ego and understanding the bigger picture is crucial for growth and empathy. This was a lesson learned by TS Madison, who had to release her attachment to certain beliefs and understandings in order to make space for new perspectives. This process involved recognizing the amplified voices and experiences of others, and understanding that it's not always about oneself. Madison also emphasized the importance of listening and being open to change, as well as acknowledging the impact of words and actions on others, even if they don't personally harm us. This perspective shift can lead to a deeper understanding of the complexities of the black experience, as exemplified in NPR's new collection, "Black Stories, Black Truths." Overall, the conversation underscored the importance of empathy, understanding, and open-mindedness in creating a more inclusive and empowering world for all.

    • Exploring the Black Experience: Joy, Resilience, and EmpowermentAmanda from the Amandaverse advocates for self-acceptance, respect for all women, and acknowledges the unique challenges each faces in claiming their womanhood. She emphasizes unity and coexistence, encouraging all individuals to be present in the narrative of American society.

      The Black Stories Black Truths collection from NPR showcases the diverse, nuanced experiences of the black community, highlighting stories of joy, resilience, and empowerment. Amanda from the Amandaverse emphasizes the importance of owning one's identity and being true to oneself, regardless of societal perceptions or expectations. She encourages respect for all women, acknowledging the unique challenges each faces in claiming their womanhood. The conversation also touches upon the internalized issues that prevent some individuals from fully accepting and embracing the existence and experiences of trans women. Ultimately, the message is one of unity and coexistence, emphasizing that all individuals, regardless of race, gender, or background, can and should be present in the narrative of American society.

    • Exploring Identity and Overcoming Internal ConflictsAcknowledge personal experiences, challenge societal constructs, practice self-reflection, seek therapy, and embrace individuality for personal growth and freedom from internal conflicts.

      Self-awareness, validation, and understanding the complexities of identity are key to overcoming internal conflicts and finding personal freedom. The speaker emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one's own experiences and not projecting anger or judgment onto others. They also challenge the narrow definitions of womanhood and the role of societal constructs, urging for a more nuanced and inclusive perspective. The speaker encourages self-reflection, therapy, and a strong sense of self to navigate the complexities of identity and to not let external factors dictate one's sense of worth. They also challenge the interpretation and application of religious texts, emphasizing the importance of understanding historical context and the potential for biased interpretations. Ultimately, the speaker encourages embracing individuality and personal growth, and not allowing external factors to limit or define one's sense of self.

    • Exploring moral contradictions in historyRecognize historical complexities, challenge selective use of texts, and prioritize introspection, trust, and companionship.

      People and societies have complex histories and it's important to recognize and address the moral contradictions within them. The speaker expresses frustration with selective use of religious texts to justify discrimination and hate. She challenges the notion that America was built on a moral foundation, pointing out its history of theft and violence. She emphasizes the importance of introspection, trust, and companionship, and acknowledges the presence of past regrets and curses. The difference between living out loud and wanting to be seen is that the former is natural, while the latter involves deliberate actions to gain attention. Overall, the speaker encourages honest self-reflection and authentic connections.

    • Living authentically and pouring positivityFocus on positivity, encourage actions, and let your spirit shine to help others grow and succeed.

      Focusing on negativity and trying to bring others down will not get you anywhere. Instead, living authentically and pouring positivity into others can help them grow and succeed. The speaker emphasizes the importance of living out loud and letting your spirit speak for you, rather than seeking validation through being seen. She also highlights the importance of encouraging actions, not just words. The speaker's experiences with her friend and her own career in comedy serve as examples of this concept. Ultimately, it's important to remember that progress can be made despite the challenges of racism and other obstacles, and everyone has the power to make a difference in someone else's life.

    • Embracing Individuality and Encouraging Authentic ExpressionEmbrace individuality, stay true to oneself, respect differences, and encourage authentic expression. Self-love, self-acceptance, and kindness are essential.

      Everyone has their unique way of living out loud and expressing themselves, and it's important to embrace and encourage individuality. The conversation between the speakers touched upon various topics, including self-worth, wealth, activism, and personal freedom. The speakers emphasized the importance of being true to oneself and not letting others define one's worth or identity. They also highlighted the importance of understanding and respecting each other's differences and encouraging each other to express themselves freely. The speakers also discussed their personal experiences and shared their perspectives on various issues, such as wealth, activism, and self-worth. They emphasized the importance of staying true to oneself and not letting societal expectations dictate one's actions or beliefs. The conversation was raw, honest, and inspiring, and it highlighted the importance of living authentically and encouraging others to do the same. The speakers also encouraged their audience to explore their own unique ways of living out loud and to embrace their individuality. They also emphasized the importance of self-love and self-acceptance, and encouraged their audience to be kind to themselves and to others. Overall, the conversation was a powerful reminder that everyone has the right to express themselves freely and authentically, and that it's important to support and encourage each other in doing so.

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