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    The Real Deal with Dating with Hannah Cranston

    enJuly 13, 2018

    Podcast Summary

    • Explore and enhance your summer sex experiencesEmbrace summer's energy and enhance your sexual experiences with Promescent's pleasure-enhancing products and the iconic Magic Wand vibrator. Check out special discounts at promescent.com/emily and sexwithemily.com/magicwand.

      Summer is the season of passion and exploration when it comes to sex. To enhance your experiences, consider using Promescent's line of pleasure-enhancing products, such as their legendary delay spray for men and warming arousal gel for women. Additionally, the iconic Magic Wand vibrator continues to be a game-changer for solo and partnered pleasure, offering various models to fit different lifestyles. Overall, embrace the summer's energy and explore new ways to enhance your sexual experiences. Check out promescent.com/emily for a special discount on Promescent products and sexwithemily.com/magicwand for the Magic Wand collection.

    • Exploring the Complexities of Modern Relationships: From Dogs to DatingValuing authenticity and open communication, Hannah navigates the complexities of modern relationships, including the challenges of online dating and societal pressures, while cherishing her bond with her soulmate dog.

      Hannah Cranston, a content creator, values open communication and authenticity in relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic. She has recently met her "soulmate" in the form of a dog, which she cherishes deeply but acknowledges has complicated her romantic life. Hannah shares her experiences with online dating, expressing the time-consuming and sometimes disheartening nature of the process. She also touches upon the societal pressure to constantly meet new people and the gendered expectations surrounding appearance and preparation for dates. Despite these challenges, Hannah remains optimistic and continues to put herself out there, recognizing the importance of taking risks and staying true to herself.

    • Efficiency in Dating: Honesty and RespectBe honest and respectful in dating to save time and energy, and focus on those who align with your values and goals.

      Being efficient is key when it comes to dating. This can mean various things, such as being honest about your availability or your feelings towards someone, or recognizing when you've met someone who isn't a good match for you. The speaker shares stories of her own experiences, including running into an earlier date at a restaurant or matching with the same guy on Tinder as her friend. She emphasizes the importance of being upfront and not wasting time on people who aren't right for you. The speaker also touches on the idea of not playing games in dating, such as pretending to be interested when you're not, and instead focusing on being true to yourself. Overall, the takeaway is that being efficient in dating means being honest, respectful, and true to yourself, which can ultimately lead to better relationships and a more fulfilling dating experience.

    • Asking about beliefs vs. relationships with womenAsking potential partners about their relationships with women in their lives can reveal more about their values and how they treat women than directly asking about their beliefs.

      Asking potential partners about their beliefs and values, such as feminism, can reveal important information about their attitudes towards women and equality. However, the way the question is framed can impact the response. Some people may view it as an attack or a test, leading them to be defensive or dishonest. Instead, focusing on their relationships with women in their lives, such as their mothers and sisters, can provide more insight into their values and how they treat women. Additionally, people's experiences with past relationships can also be telling, as those who are still blaming their exes for issues in the relationship may not have taken responsibility for their own actions. Ultimately, open and respectful communication about values and experiences can lead to deeper connections and understanding in relationships.

    • Honesty and respect matter in datingBe honest about feelings, respect exes, take things slow, and maintain respectful communication for successful dating

      Being honest and clear in communication is crucial in dating, even if it means ending things early. Men don't appreciate being strung along or being led on, and it's better to be upfront about your feelings. Additionally, some men may react negatively, but it's essential to remember that not every person is a match, and it's important to move on and find someone who is a better fit. Another important point is that respect is a significant factor in a relationship. If a man expresses respect for his exes and maintains good relationships with them, it's a good sign that he is mature and capable of maintaining healthy relationships. Lastly, it's important to be cautious about getting too serious too quickly, especially when it comes to introducing significant others to pets or family members. It's crucial to take things slow and get to know someone before making such commitments. Overall, the key is to be honest, respectful, and patient in the dating process.

    • Clear communication and challenging gender norms in relationshipsPrioritize clear communication, challenge gender norms, and take risks to build more authentic and equal relationships.

      We spend too much time overanalyzing ambiguous messages in relationships, especially when it comes to rejection or unclear intentions. Both men and women can benefit from clear communication and taking risks, such as asking someone out or expressing feelings directly. This can help reduce fear and anxiety in relationships and lead to more authentic connections. Additionally, gender norms around dating and paying for dates are changing, and more women are preferring to pay on the first date. This shift towards equality in financial aspects of dating reflects the broader trend towards gender equality and can help create more balanced and respectful relationships. Overall, the key takeaway is to prioritize clear communication, challenge gender norms, and take risks in relationships to build more authentic and equal connections.

    • Dating and Meal Paying DynamicsBe sensitive to relationship dynamics and financial situations when deciding who pays for meals.

      When it comes to dating and paying for meals, consider the dynamics of the relationship and the circumstances involved. If you've planned and asked for the date, it's a gracious gesture to offer to pay. However, if the other person insists or plans something extravagant, it's essential to be sensitive to their feelings and not make them uncomfortable. Meanwhile, regarding food, it's possible to enjoy your favorite bread products without the guilt of consuming excessive carbs. Hero bread offers nutritious alternatives with impressive nutritional stats, allowing you to indulge in your favorite bready delights while staying on track with your health goals. Additionally, there can be politics to the situation of who pays for the meal, especially when there's a significant income disparity. In such cases, it's essential to feel out the situation and navigate the situation with care and respect for each other's financial situations. Overall, remember that every relationship and situation is unique, and it's essential to approach each situation with sensitivity, understanding, and respect.

    • Being considerate of financial pressures in datingConfidently navigate dating scene by respecting financial situations, suggesting to pay, and adapting to new situations

      Both men and women experience financial pressure in the dating scene, and it's essential to be considerate and not take advantage of it. Women, in particular, have traditionally been seen as the ones who spend more on preparations, but men also face expenses, such as paying for dinner or other activities. Confidence is an attractive quality, and suggesting to pay or coming casually dressed can be powerful moves that show confidence and respect the financial situation of the other person. Additionally, adapting to new situations and being efficient are important traits, especially during the twenties when personal and professional lives are changing rapidly. Overall, it's crucial to be aware of the financial pressures in dating and find ways to be respectful and confident while navigating the dating scene.

    • Appreciating people beyond their appearance in online datingValue individuals for their interests and personality traits to build positive connections online, respect boundaries, and avoid assumptions or stereotypes.

      When it comes to online dating, the way we communicate and receive messages can greatly impact our experiences. Women, in particular, have shared that they don't appreciate being objectified or complimented solely on their looks. Instead, they value being seen as interesting, fun, and cool individuals. Men, on the other hand, often prioritize physical attraction. It's important to remember that everyone wants to be appreciated for who they are beyond their appearance. A compliment on a shared interest or personality trait can go a long way in making a positive connection. Additionally, it's crucial to respect each other's boundaries and avoid assumptions or stereotypes. Let's aim to make online dating a more positive and inclusive experience for everyone.

    • Comparing yourself to past relationships or appearances on a first date is unhealthyFocus on getting to know the person for who they are in the present, avoid excessive or insincere compliments, and remember that people are different online and in person.

      While it's natural to check out someone's social media before a date, it's important not to compare yourself to their past relationships or appearances. During the first date, compliments are acceptable but should be specific and not excessive. Being too complimentary or surprising with compliments can come off as insincere or offensive. Instead, focus on enjoying the conversation and getting to know the person for who they are in the present. Additionally, it's essential to remember that people present different versions of themselves online and in person, so it's crucial to get to know them for who they are now rather than judging them based on their past. Overall, the goal is to approach dating with a positive mindset and focus on building a connection based on mutual interests and genuine compatibility.

    • Stay safe while using dating appsShare location, wait before texting, get to know someone, decide before following on social media for a safe and enjoyable dating experience

      When using dating apps, it's important to prioritize safety and getting to know someone before meeting in person. Here are some key points: 1. Share your location with a trusted person for safety. 2. Don't text before the first date. 3. Get to know someone on the app before meeting up. 4. Decide if you're interested before exchanging social media. 5. Wait a few dates before following them on social media. The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking precautions while using dating apps and getting to know someone before meeting them in person. She also suggests waiting a few dates before following someone on social media to avoid any potential awkwardness or confusion. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure a safe and enjoyable dating experience.

    • Social media can create unrealistic expectations and comparisonsApproach connecting with people on personal social media platforms with caution, remember what we see online is curated, focus on building genuine connections, and recognize everyone's experiences and timelines are different.

      Social media can create unrealistic expectations and comparisons, leading to toxicity and dissatisfaction, especially when it comes to relationships. While following someone on social media platforms like Instagram may not be a concern, connecting with them on more personal platforms like Facebook should be approached with caution and consideration for the depth of your relationship. It's important to remember that what we see on social media is often a curated version of someone's life and not a reflection of their true selves. Instead of focusing on social media, focus on building a genuine connection with the person. Additionally, it's crucial to recognize that everyone's experiences and timelines are different, and comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your happiness and self-worth. So, take your time to get to know someone before connecting with them on a deeper level on social media, and remember that everyone's social media presence is just one aspect of their life.

    • Sharing past sexual experiences with careBe mindful when disclosing past experiences, consider partner's feelings, focus on present connection, and prioritize trust and relationship building.

      Sharing your past sexual experiences with a new partner should be done carefully and with intention. It's important to consider the potential impact on your partner and the reason for sharing. While some people might enjoy hearing about their partner's past, others might feel insecure or jealous. If you have an STD or STD, it's crucial to be upfront about it. Sharing unnecessary details might lead your partner to create stories or use the information against themselves, causing unnecessary anxiety or self-doubt. Instead, focus on the present and the connection you have with your partner. Remember, the goal is to build trust and strengthen your relationship, not to compare or brag.

    • Open communication about sexDiscussing feelings outside the bedroom can alleviate anxiety and improve sex life. Non-intimidating settings, like planes or cars, can be productive. Remember sex is normal, address concerns for a stronger connection. Seek help for trauma.

      Open communication is key to creating a satisfying and enjoyable sex life. Both men and women experience anxiety and insecurities during intimate moments, and discussing these feelings outside of the bedroom can help alleviate any negative thoughts and reinforce enjoyment. Having conversations about sex in a non-intimidating setting, such as on a plane or in a car, can make for productive and enjoyable discussions. It's important for individuals to remember that sex is a normal and important aspect of relationships, and addressing any concerns or issues can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling connection. For those who have experienced trauma, seeking professional help and addressing any underlying fears or anxieties can help restore a healthy sex drive and confidence.

    • Healing from false accusations: A long and challenging processSeeking therapy, especially EMDR, can help process and move through traumatic experiences, including false accusations, and prioritizing mental health care is crucial.

      Emotional healing from traumatic experiences, such as false accusations, is a long and challenging process. Mark's emotional response to being falsely accused of sexual harassment three years ago still affects him deeply, and he may be experiencing symptoms of major trauma. Therapy, specifically EMDR therapy, can be an effective tool for processing and moving through trauma. While therapy can be expensive, there are now affordable online options for those who cannot afford in-person sessions. It's essential to prioritize mental health care and seek help when needed. Regardless of the specific trauma, therapy can benefit everyone in various ways, from working through childhood issues to dealing with current challenges.

    • Prioritizing Mental Health and Communication in Intimate RelationshipsSeek help for mental health, explore alternative therapy options, communicate openly about desires and feelings, and understand societal influences on sexual experiences.

      It's important to prioritize mental health and seek help when needed, even if traditional therapy isn't an option. Alternative solutions, such as online therapy or self-help resources, can be effective and often covered by insurance. Additionally, communication is key in relationships, especially when it comes to intimacy. It's essential to understand that everyone's experiences and comfort levels with sex are unique, and societal pressures can influence our perceptions. To improve communication and build confidence, try exploring resources together, such as books or podcasts, and having open and honest conversations about your desires and feelings. Remember, it's not your fault if your partner holds misconceptions about sex or your enjoyment of it. Society plays a role in shaping these beliefs, and addressing them requires open dialogue and mutual understanding.

    • Embrace individuality and open communication for a fulfilling sexual experienceUnderstand that everyone's sexual journey is unique and communication is key to building a healthy relationship. Recognize external influences and embrace individuality for a more authentic experience.

      It's important for individuals to understand that their sexual experiences and comfort levels are unique and should not be compared to unrealistic portrayals in porn or societal expectations. Stephanie's experience is a reminder that everyone's sexual journey is a work in progress, and communication and self-discovery are key to building a healthy and satisfying relationship. It's crucial to have open conversations with partners about desires, boundaries, and comfort levels, both inside and outside of the bedroom. Additionally, it's essential to recognize that external factors, such as societal messages and media portrayals, can influence one's thoughts and beliefs about sex. Overall, embracing individuality and fostering open communication can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling sexual experience.

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    In this episode (I’m a friend zone survivor), I start a conversation with a friend, who's been married for 17 years, and examine his journey towards marriage with his high school "crush” and the obstacles and challenges they have faced while dating and in marriage.

    We talk about falling in love with your best friend and the importance of having a partner that is self-sufficient. We discuss navigating the digital era as well as how it’s changed the way people date and interact. We uncover some valuable lessons learned from being friend zoned. We highlight the value of getting dating experience and the growth that can come from that. We go deep on how a man can be in love but not be ready for marriage as well as how to navigate those feelings.

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