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    The Story Behind The Story | Ep 224

    enJuly 28, 2020

    Podcast Summary

    • Believing in yourself and your product is key to effective salesmanshipMaintaining congruency throughout the sales process builds trust and credibility, leading to increased sales and customer loyalty

      Having a high level of conviction is crucial for effective salesmanship. This conviction starts with believing in yourself and your product or service wholeheartedly. Dan Kennedy's book "Triple X Selling" provides an example of this concept through the story of a partnership between Kennedy and a woman who ran a brothel. The key idea is maintaining congruency throughout the sales process, meaning every aspect of the customer experience aligns with the expectations of a top-tier business. This includes the tone of communication, wording in emails, and overall presentation. By ensuring congruency, you build trust and credibility with potential customers, ultimately leading to increased sales and customer loyalty.

    • Creating a Positive Customer ExperienceConsistency and alignment in customer interactions build trust and close sales. Delivering on promises and aligning all aspects of the experience with customer expectations is crucial.

      Creating a consistent and aligned customer experience is crucial for building trust and closing sales. The call service discussed in the text went above and beyond to create a top-notch experience for their clients, from the British women on the phone to the personalized greetings and follow-ups. This attention to detail helped to align with the prospect's imagination and build trust, whereas a mismatch between the promised experience and reality can lead to a negative impact, like a "whorehouse" experience in the example given. Similarly, in sales, it's essential to deliver on the promises made to potential customers and ensure that all aspects of the experience align with their expectations. This can be particularly important when selling high-ticket items or services, where the customer's trust and confidence in the offering can significantly impact the sale. Overall, the lesson is that consistency and alignment are key to creating a positive customer experience and closing sales.

    • Reframing negative perceptions through storytellingEffective storytelling can help change perceptions, attract the right audience, and overcome negative impressions.

      Creating an authentic narrative can help change people's perceptions about a situation or place that may not align with their initial expectations. In the discussed example, the speaker shared how they had to reframe the image of their business, which was perceived as run-down and secluded, into a private and exclusive experience for high-class clients. By sharing a relatable analogy of working out in private rooms, the speaker was able to attract potential clients who appreciated the privacy and exclusivity that the business offered. This story highlights the importance of storytelling in marketing and communication, and how it can help overcome negative perceptions and attract the right audience.

    • The power of storytelling in sales: sharing the story behind the storyEffectively selling requires sharing the unique values, beliefs, and convictions that drive your business beyond surface-level descriptions, creating a compelling narrative that resonates and builds trust

      The power of storytelling in sales lies in conveying the "story behind the story" of your business. This means going beyond the surface-level description of what you offer and instead sharing the deeper values, beliefs, and convictions that drive your business. By doing so, you create a compelling narrative that resonates with potential clients and builds trust and conviction. This was demonstrated in the example given, where a transformative center was repositioned from a hidden, exclusive location to a swanky, secret society-like transformation center for celebrities and politicians. By sharing the story behind the story, the sales team was able to close deals more effectively. To apply this to your own business, consider what makes your company unique and worthy of conviction. Then, tell that story with conviction and authenticity to potential clients, and watch as they become drawn to your business and the transformation it offers.

    • The power of a compelling brand story for sales successA clear brand story gives sales teams conviction and attracts high-value clients, while a lack of one can result in a negative image and missed opportunities.

      Having a compelling and authentic brand story is crucial for sales success. This story gives you the conviction to overcome negatives and attract the right prospects. It's essential to sell this story to your sales team first, allowing them to speak with conviction and attract high-value clients. Think of luxury brands like Gucci or Prada, their salespeople exude confidence because they believe in the brand story. Similarly, if you don't have a clear brand story, one will be created for you, likely not the one you want. By investing time in defining and communicating your brand story, you'll close more sales and build a stronger team.

    • Clear and consistent brand story for sales team alignmentA strong brand story aligns sales efforts, builds trust with customers, and ensures everyone works towards the same goals.

      Having a clear and consistent brand story is crucial for alignment within a sales team. This means that everyone, from the sales representatives to the sales leadership, should have a solid understanding of the company's brand narrative. By doing so, all sales efforts will be in line with the overall brand messaging, creating a cohesive and effective sales strategy. This not only helps to build trust and credibility with customers but also ensures that everyone is working towards the same goals. In essence, a strong brand story is the foundation for successful sales. Make sure to communicate it clearly and often to keep everyone on the same page.

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    Transcript:

    Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. When it comes to the relationships in our lives that matter the most, I want you to sit there and think for a moment about whether or not you're willing to really get into it with those people. Are you willing to have conflict when you don't see eye to eye, when you have a disagreement, when you have a values conflict, when you're not sure who should be doing the dishes and who should be balancing a checkbook, whatever it is, are you actually willing to go toe to toe as equals with the other people in your life? And if so, how well does it go? And if not, why do you avoid it? These are important questions to be asking because the quality of our relationships is often not only determined by the quality of our connection with those people, but it's also determined by our ability to come back from challenging moments, the resilience of a relationship.

    Neil Sattin: And so for today's episode, I wanted to focus on that very thing. How do you work through conflict and create resilience, not only in yourself, not only fostering it in the other important people in your life, but how do you create a resilient relationship where you are able to be true to who you are, and where the person or people that you're in relationship with are also free to be true to who they are. And where somehow you manage to get through all of that, better for it, instead of in tatters because of your fights and inability to resolve them. So in order to have today's conversation, I wanted to feature Jayson Gaddis, who is the founder of The Relationship School, a colleague and friend of mine. He also does The Relationship School Podcast, and he is the author of this gem of a book called; Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. If you're a long-time listener, you know that I read a lot of books for this show, and this book is a game changer. It is like you will be doing yourself a huge favor by getting this book, reading through it, working through the exercises, and...

    Neil Sattin: I don't often truly feel that way, like sometimes, when we're talking about a book here on the show, I'll go through it and I feel like actually, I can kind of mine what's important for you, this is one that I want you to get and go through, it's that important. And when you do, let me know what you think. Let's dive in to chatting with Jayson Gaddis about his new book, Getting to Zero and How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. Jayson, it's such a treat to have you back here on Relationship Alive.

    Jayson Gaddis: Thanks Neil. So good to be chatting with you again and psyched to dive in.

    Neil Sattin: Great. Great. So let's get started by talking about why we tend to avoid conflict, and I just want to say when I was reading Getting to Zero, this book was very triggering for me like as I was reading it through, I was like every page I was dealing with my own demons percolating up, because the very first thing that you ask us as readers to do is to think about a conflict that we've had with someone who's important in our lives. And so it's helpful to do that, of course, to put all the exercises and everything that you write into contacts, that will be really helpful, but it was really challenging and I got in touch with how hard it is to actually face in to the fire. So could we start by talking a little bit about kind of why people avoid conflict and why you might want to make a different choice.

    Jayson Gaddis: Yeah, for sure. So I'll talk about two main reasons, and I'm sure you have many, and I'd love to hear those, but one is just in our biology, and it's the fact that we're social mammals and social mammals like to belong and we like to feel close to other people, and when we don't, it feels threatening and scary and shameful, and painful. And so conflict puts us up against that pain where it's like, "Ooh, if this doesn't go well, I might get kicked out of the group, I might not be included anymore or invited, this person might break up with me, I might break up with them." And that's uncomfortable, and social mammals don't like to be alone, and we don't do well on our own for long, long, long periods of time. So that's kind of in our DNA. And then there's the more psychological story about why we avoid conflict, and that's partly due to, it hasn't gone that well in our history, and that circles back to our family of origin, the neighborhood we grew up in, the friends we had or didn't have, the church we grew up in, sports teams we were on, or dance recitals we played, and all the negative experiences socially and relationally often don't get dealt with very well.

    Jayson Gaddis: And then they compound over time, and then we enter into an adult relationship, and we've got a lot of negative memory around conflict and negative associations, and so we tend to do what we've always done, and that's usually moving away from conflict, which is avoiding or we might move toward it thinking that fighting harder and louder and getting bigger is the solution for some reason. So I think those are the two probably biggest reasons we avoid conflict.

    Neil Sattin: Yeah, and conflict is uncomfortable. So you have to be in a space where you're willing to not only embrace that discomfort, but also, I think face your own discomfort with being uncomfortable, you have to look at why you would rather just check out and watch Netflix or pretend that something didn't happen or settle for whatever the situation is versus, Oh, it's actually really challenging to me to feel these feelings and to not know if there's going to be a positive outcome on the other side.

    Jayson Gaddis: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I like what you said there about just discomfort. It kind of boils down to that really, is a lot of us don't like feeling uncomfortable feelings, both emotionally and on a sensory level in our body, when we face off with another person or we have a trigger with a person, whether they're silent with us or aggressive with us. It's just so uncomfortable and people are like, Oh, you must really like conflict. I'm like, No, I do not like conflict. Let's be clear. Just like the next person, I just happen to have some tools and some ways through it that I've learned over the years...

    Interested in reading the transcript for the rest of this episode with Jayson Gaddis? 

    Click here to download the full transcript of this episode!