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    The Storytelling Expert: How to Speak so That Everyone Listens (Matthew Dicks #202)

    en-usSeptember 03, 2024
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    Podcast Summary

    • Effective storytellingEffective storytelling is a strategic ability that connects with emotional needs, involves change over time, and requires flexibility to engage the audience

      Effective storytelling is not a natural ability, but a strategic one. To tell compelling stories that connect with people, identify their emotional needs and craft stories around them. A good story is about change over time and a well-told story is one where the storyteller believes that no one wants to hear anything they have to say unless they give them a reason to listen. Preparation is important, but being overly prepared can limit your ability to read the audience and adapt. The best storytellers know what they're going to say but not exactly how they're going to say it, allowing them to engage with their audience and create memorable stories. A story is different from an anecdote, which can be entertaining in the moment but not memorable, while a story ideally lingers in the listener's mind for a long time.

    • Emotion evoking storytellingEffective storytelling evokes emotions, transporting listeners to new perspectives and creating meaningful connections, using symbols of power and inspiration.

      Storytelling is not just about sharing experiences, but evoking emotions. The goal is not to make the audience relate to specific events in their lives, but rather to connect with their feelings and thoughts. A good story can transport listeners to a new perspective, making them feel understood and even inspired. Using the example of a teacher and a magical spoon, the speaker emphasizes the importance of focus, determination, and the power of believing in something greater. The spoon, initially a simple kitchen utensil, becomes a symbol of power and inspiration, bringing people together and creating meaningful connections.

    • Power of storytellingEffective storytelling transforms ordinary objects into something meaningful and magical through personal experiences, emotional connection, and imaginative elements like surprise, suspense, stakes, and humor.

      The power of storytelling lies in its ability to transform ordinary objects into something meaningful and magical. The speaker's experience with a simple spoon during the pandemic serves as a powerful example. By sharing personal stories and connecting with audiences on an emotional level, we can infuse our words and actions with significance. The architecture of effective storytelling includes scenes, locations, and elements of surprise, suspense, stakes, and humor to maintain interest. Minimal description and an emphasis on feelings and actions rather than physical appearance allow the audience to use their imagination and fully engage with the story.

    • Storytelling TechniquesEffective storytelling involves using techniques like elephants, backpacks, breadcrumbs, and hourglasses to grab the audience's attention, emotionally invest them, and build suspense.

      To keep an audience engaged in a story, it's essential to establish stakes that capture their attention and keep them invested. This can be achieved through various storytelling techniques, such as the use of elephants, backpacks, breadcrumbs, and hourglasses. An elephant represents the initial hook that grabs the audience's attention, setting the stage for what's to come. It could be a problem the protagonist is facing or a goal they're striving for. Backpacks involve sharing your plans and hopes with the audience, making them emotionally invested in the outcome. When things don't go as planned, the audience feels the tension and anticipation. Breadcrumbs are clues or hints dropped throughout the story that pique the audience's curiosity and make them wonder how different elements connect. Hourglasses involve withholding information and building suspense, making the audience eager for the next revelation. By mastering these techniques, storytellers can keep their audience engaged and on the edge of their seats.

    • Storytelling in BusinessEffective storytelling in business can increase audience engagement and emotional response through the use of humor, vivid descriptions, and slowing down during key moments.

      Effective storytelling in business, whether through earnings calls or presentations, can significantly engage and retain an audience by creating anticipation, using humor, and vividly describing scenes. By slowing down during key moments and making predictions, speakers can increase audience engagement and emotional response. Humor, in particular, can improve mood, perception, and cognition, making the information more memorable and enjoyable. Additionally, using vivid descriptions and locations can activate the audience's imagination and create a more immersive experience. Overall, the goal is to make the audience happy that you're talking, eager to hear the next thing, and fully engaged with the information being presented.

    • Effective storytellingFocus on the destination of the story to create an engaging beginning and allow audience to use their imagination instead of overly describing every detail.

      Effective storytelling involves allowing the audience to use their imagination and fill in the gaps, rather than overly describing every detail. This approach creates a stronger emotional connection to the story. Another common mistake is starting a story in the wrong place, often by teaching or explaining too much in the beginning instead of launching into the action. The beginning of a story is crucial for engaging the audience and getting them invested in the journey. To find the five-second moments that make a story impactful, it's essential to determine the destination of the story first and then work backwards to create an engaging beginning. By focusing on these key elements, storytellers can create compelling narratives that resonate with their audience.

    • Storytelling EndingsA clear and impactful ending is crucial in storytelling as it represents a genuine change or transformation, contrasts sharply with the beginning, and leaves a lasting impression on the audience.

      In storytelling, it's essential to have a clear end goal in mind. The end should represent a genuine change or transformation, rather than just an amusing anecdote. A story that lacks a meaningful ending may not leave a lasting impact on the audience. The beginning and end of a story should be in perfect contrast to each other, creating an arc that takes the audience on a journey of change. For instance, in romantic comedies, the opening scene often hints at the eventual union of the main characters. Similarly, in "Star Wars: A New Hope," the boy's dream of flying in a spaceship and defeating the Empire contrasts sharply with the actual discovery of the Force and the reliance on it to save the day. By understanding the importance of a clear and impactful ending, storytellers can create a more engaging and memorable narrative.

    • Movie storytellingEffective movies and stories resonate with audiences by featuring relatable characters facing significant challenges and ultimately gaining respect and recognition. To create compelling stories, understand the stakes and desires of the characters, and present a problem or desire that resonates with the audience without giving away the solution.

      Memorable movies and stories resonate with us because they tap into our shared experiences and desires. According to the speaker, movies like "Independence Day" and "Die Hard" are effective because they feature relatable characters facing significant challenges and ultimately gaining respect and recognition. These stories strike a chord with audiences because they offer a sense of hope and the possibility of overcoming adversity. To create compelling stories, it's essential to understand the stakes and the desires of the characters. A good trailer or podcast teaser should pique the audience's interest by presenting a problem or desire that resonates with them. By presenting the yearning or need without giving away the solution, you can grab the audience's attention and keep them engaged throughout the story. To learn to tell better stories, one can take a class or study various storytelling techniques. It's important to understand the importance of character development, conflict, and resolution. By practicing and refining your storytelling skills, you can create stories that resonate with audiences and leave a lasting impact.

    • Strategic ListeningStrategic listening involves actively analyzing and understanding content by asking questions, identifying patterns, and considering underlying messages to become more engaged, empathetic, and insightful in interactions.

      Effective communication involves more than just listening. It requires strategic listening, where we actively analyze and understand the content being presented. This means asking questions, identifying patterns, and considering the underlying messages. By becoming strategic listeners, we can become more engaged, empathetic, and insightful in our interactions with others. This skill is particularly important in storytelling, where understanding the elements that make a story great can help us become better storytellers ourselves. However, it's important to remember that enjoying content for its entertainment value is also valid. But by practicing strategic listening, we can gain a deeper appreciation for the stories we consume and the people we communicate with. Additionally, being aware of the messages and biases in media, especially those that perpetuate harmful stereotypes, is crucial for promoting positive and inclusive narratives.

    • Effective StorytellingEffective storytelling leaves room for imagination, omits insignificant details, connects scenes and events, and uses 'but' and 'therefore' to create impactful narratives

      Effective storytelling leaves room for the audience's imagination and doesn't wrap up all loose ends neatly. This creates a sense of mystery and allows the story to linger in the audience's mind. However, while it's important to be truthful in storytelling, it's also acceptable to omit insignificant details or condense time for the sake of the story. The most engaging stories are those that connect scenes and events in a meaningful way, creating a sense of motion and investment from the audience. The use of words like "but" and "therefore" can help create this sense of connection and keep the audience engaged. Additionally, focusing on what something is not can make a story more impactful than simply stating what it is.

    • Storytelling techniquesUse dynamic language, recognize value of small moments, create suspense through strategic info inclusion/exclusion, use opposites/over-exaggeration, and share stories with authenticity.

      Effective storytelling involves using dynamic language, recognizing the value of small moments, and creating suspense through strategic inclusion and exclusion of information. The use of opposites or over-exaggeration can help energize language and make stories more engaging. It's important to understand that our lives are filled with stories worth sharing and to establish a mindset of keeping audiences engaged by asking oneself if the power would go out and people would still care about the story. Suspense is created through the strategic exclusion and inclusion of information, and can be used to keep audiences on the edge of their seats. Additionally, recognizing the value of small moments and sharing them with authenticity can create powerful connections with audiences.

    • Personal storytellingShare relatable experiences and use effective storytelling techniques like the BA model to keep audience engaged and deliver a powerful message

      Effective storytelling involves connecting with your audience by sharing relatable experiences, even if those experiences come from your past. The speaker shared a personal story about her son's swim test at scout camp and how she drew on her own experiences to help him prepare. She emphasized the importance of not giving up and encouraging him to keep trying, even when faced with challenges. The speaker also discussed the importance of story structure, specifically using a BA (Beginning-Answer-Bridge) model. She started the story in the middle, with her son getting ready for camp and the potential swim test challenge, then went back in time to share the answer (her own experience) and brought it back to the present (her son's situation) to bridge the two together. This structure allowed her to keep the audience engaged and maintain the suspense while delivering a meaningful message. To apply this takeaway to your own life, consider sharing personal stories that resonate with your audience and using effective storytelling techniques like the BA model to keep their attention and deliver a powerful message.

    • Business storytellingGrab audience's attention with a scene, use metaphors to convey complex ideas, and share personal experiences to add depth and authenticity.

      Effective storytelling in business involves carefully considering the story's beginning, using metaphors to convey deeper meaning, and drawing on personal experiences. When crafting a business story, it's essential to grab the audience's attention from the start. This might mean opening with a scene rather than teaching a lesson or sharing background information. Metaphors can help convey complex ideas in a relatable way, making the story more memorable. Personal experiences can also add depth and authenticity to a business story. For instance, the story of Facebook's focus on helping users make seven connections in ten days can be made more impactful by sharing a personal story of a singular solution that solved a significant problem in one's personal life. By using metaphors and personal experiences, business storytellers can create unforgettable stories that resonate with their audience.

    • Effective communicationConnecting with the audience on a personal level through stories, metaphors, and vulnerability is essential for effective communication in teaching and public speaking.

      Effective communication in teaching and public speaking goes beyond just sharing content. It's essential to connect with the audience on a personal level by using stories, metaphors, and vulnerability. Personal stories create resonance and are more memorable than reporting on events of others. Confidence, vulnerability, and a connection with the audience are crucial for successful storytelling. The speaker's experience of facing a life-threatening situation helped him develop a lack of concern for others' opinions, but it's not always necessary or applicable to every situation. Instead, it's essential to understand the context and find the right balance between acknowledging the importance of the situation and maintaining a healthy perspective.

    • Vulnerability and storytellingSharing vulnerable stories can lead to powerful connections and positive responses from audiences, making the world a little easier for others. Authentic storytelling is more memorable and impactful than writing.

      Vulnerability and authentic storytelling can lead to powerful connections with audiences. The speaker shared her experience of overcoming the fear of public speaking by taking the leap and sharing vulnerable stories, which often resulted in positive responses and appreciation from the audience. She emphasized that everyone carries their own vulnerabilities and shame, and those who are willing to share them can make a significant impact by making the world a little easier for others. The speaker also highlighted the difference between writing and telling stories, with the latter being more authentic and memorable as it allows for imperfections and genuine human connection.

    • Authenticity and connectionFocus on authenticity and connection with the audience when delivering a message through speaking or writing. Imperfections and adaptability can make a significant impact. Tell compelling stories about the process to generate interest. Find supporting stories for the main idea and use effective sentence structure, intonation, and pacing to create an engaging and memorable experience.

      Authenticity and connection with an audience are key when delivering a message, whether it's through speaking or writing. Imperfections and adaptability can make a significant impact, as people appreciate the effort put into making the experience unique for them. For authors, telling compelling stories about the writing process can generate interest in their work. When crafting a keynote or a book, it's essential to focus on one main idea and find supporting stories to convey it effectively. Additionally, the use of intonation, pacing, and sentence structure in writing can help bring the audience's experience closer to that of a live performance. Ultimately, the goal is to create an engaging and memorable experience for the audience, no matter the medium.

    • Engaging storytellingEffective storytelling begins with an intriguing statement or anecdote to engage the audience, leading them to the conclusion, and encouraging kids to love writing through positive feedback and freedom to express themselves.

      Effective storytelling and writing should not begin with a topic sentence and supporting details. Instead, engaging the audience by starting with an intriguing statement or anecdote and leading them to the conclusion is a more successful approach. This method keeps the audience engaged and allows them to put things together on their own. In education, it's essential to encourage kids to love writing rather than focusing on mechanics such as spelling, grammar, or handwriting. Letting them write freely and providing positive feedback can help them develop a passion for writing and improve their skills over time. Success, for the speaker, is the continuous pursuit of new experiences and opportunities, rather than striving for stasis or sticking to a rigid plan.

    • Personal growthContinuous personal growth and embracing new challenges are crucial for feeling successful, as emphasized by Shane Parrish from The Knowledge Project. Reflecting on past experiences and setting oneself up for success with decision-making tools can further enhance personal growth.

      Continuous personal growth and evolution are key to feeling successful. Shane Parrish from The Knowledge Project emphasizes the importance of embracing new challenges and opportunities, even if they lead to unexpected outcomes. He encourages listeners to avoid stagnation and keep pushing themselves to learn and grow. Parrish also shares that he reflects on interviews and makes connections to previous episodes for his supporting members. Additionally, he promotes his new book, "Clear Thinking," which offers tools to master decision-making and set oneself up for success.

    Recent Episodes from The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

    The Storytelling Expert: How to Speak so That Everyone Listens (Matthew Dicks #202)

    The Storytelling Expert: How to Speak so That Everyone Listens (Matthew Dicks #202)

    Shane Parrish sits down with Matthew Dicks, a renowned storyteller, author, and teacher, to explore the nuanced art of storytelling. They go deep into the techniques that turn mediocre stories into masterful ones.


    You’ll learn what makes a story truly resonate with an audience, how to identify and highlight the pivotal moments that create emotional impact, the architecture of compelling stories, how to structure narratives for maximum engagement and how to use techniques like suspense, stakes, and humor to keep audiences on the edge of their seats. This conversation covers broad frameworks, like how to structure a great story—and the granular details, like when you should talk quietly to refocus the audience.


    Matthew Dicks is novelist, storyteller, columnist, playwright, blogger, and teacher. He’s published fiction and non-fiction books, the latter of which include: Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling and Someday Is Today: 22 Simple, Actionable Ways to Propel Your Creative Life.


    (00:00:00 Intro

    (00:03:28) What makes a good story

    (00:06:57) Stories vs anecdotes

    (00:08:29) A Story: The Spoon of Power

    (00:17:42) The art of story architecture

    (00:21:28) Create compelling stories

    (00:36:30) Common mistakes & how to fix them

    (00:55:01) Strategic listening

    (01:03:32) Can you lie in stories?

    (01:05:10) 'And' stories vs. 'but / therefore' stories

    (01:10:05) Finding engaging stories in everyday life

    (01:20:05) Structuring a story

    (01:24:00) Storytelling for an unforgettable brand

    (01:31:20) Learn confidence

    (01:38:40) Writing vs telling a story

    (01:51:53) Teach kids to love writing

    (01:55:15) Define success


    Newsletter - The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/

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    #201 April Dunford: Perfecting Your Product's Positioning

    #201 April Dunford: Perfecting Your Product's Positioning

    What if people aren’t buying your product or service because their idea of what it does is wrong?

    In this episode, Shane asks April Dunford to reveal all her secrets about what makes good and bad product positioning, how a startup should differ in its communications from a big company, and the difference between B2B and B2C positioning. Dunford also shares how a startup can better identify pain points their customers face, how to write the best sales page copy, and the best way to objectively evaluate a product’s positioning.

    If you’re an executive at a company, this episode will make you reflect on your current marketing and sales pipelines and ask, “Are we doing this right?” If you’re a designer, engineer, or marketer at a company, this episode will teach you the secrets to selling a product that will help get you promoted and earn trust within your organization.


    Dunford spent the first 25 years of her career as a startup executive running marketing, product, and sales teams positioning products acquired by companies like IBM and Siebel Systems. Since then, she’s worked with over 200 companies as a consultant, developing a system to better position technology products and companies. She studied Engineering at the University of Waterloo and is most recently the author of Sales Pitch.


    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    (00:00) Intro

    (02:07) Positioning, explained

    (16:47) Why is positioning important?

    (20:40) B2B vs. B2C positioning

    (29:03) When re-positioning a product failed

    (32:31) How to identify customer's pain points

    (34:35) How to position a product on a sales page

    (38:06) How technology has changed positioning

    (41:40) How to evaluate product positioning

    (45:43) Who's in charge of positioning at a company?

    (50:27) On storytelling

    (56:35) Should a company have a point of view on the market?

    (1:00:21) Dealing with gatekeepers in B2B marketing

    (1:03:02) Mistakes people make with positioning

    (1:05:21) What schools get wrong about marketing

    (1:08:59) Secrets of B2B decision-making

    (1:11:18) On success

    #200 Brian Halligan: Scaling Culture from Startup to IPO

    #200 Brian Halligan: Scaling Culture from Startup to IPO

    Brian Halligan, co-founder and former CEO of HubSpot, discusses the journey of leading a company from the startup phase to IPO. Halligan shares his personal and professional experiences, including a snowmobiling accident that altered his life trajectory, the importance of company culture, the nuances of hiring the right people, and the complications involved in running a growing organization.


    This episode is a must-listen for entrepreneurs, CEOs, and anyone interested in the intersection of personal growth and professional success.


    Brian Halligan is currently a Senior Advisor at Sequoia Capital. In 2006, he co-founded HubSpot and served as its CEO until 2021. He is also a senior lecturer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.


    (00:00) Intro

    (02:36) Halligan's life-changing snowmobile accident

    (09:38) Shane's life-changing medical mystery

    (14:38) The different phases a CEO goes through while growing companies

    (20:44) Lessons learned from Steve Jobs

    (23:18) How to hire and fire people (and when)

    (27:55) The problems with "Best Practices" in business

    (31:11) The most underrated public CEOs (and why Jerry Garcia from The Grateful Dead is on this list)

    (43:38) The history and future of inbound marketing

    (51:08) On decision making

    (55:18) On work-life balance

    (58:28) On success


    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠⁠⁠

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    Join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/

    #199 Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire (2019)

    #199 Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire (2019)

    Few episodes in The Knowledge Project’s nine-year history have impacted people’s relationships and lives more than when Esther Perel shared her infinite wisdom for the first time in 2019.

    Shane and Esther discuss how the stories you tell yourself shape how you see the world (and what to do about that), the important conversations to have at the beginning of a relationship, the most common arguments couples have and how to prevent them, what to say to a partner if the relationship isn’t working out, the relationship between desire, love, and pleasure, and so much more. Plus, the conversation starts out on an interesting note: Esther Perel shares stories about her parents surviving the Holocaust and how their experiences shaped her childhood and continue to shape her life today.


    (00:00) Intro
    (02:38) Coming back to life after the war
    (08:09) The myth of stability
    (11:30) The power of reflections
    (19:48) Important conversations for early relationships
    (24:20) Can values change in relationships?
    (27:20) Being secure in a relationship
    (30:40) Better conversations with your partner
    (33:00) What's behind every criticism
    (36:52) Too much honesty
    (39:37) What happens if I don't love my partner
    (47:12) Why does good sex fade in relationships?
    (50:59) Love vs. desire
    (55:38) How to have difficult conversations with your partner
    (01:05:13) Conscious uncoupling


    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠⁠

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠⁠⁠

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    #198 Maya Shankar: The Science of Identity

    #198 Maya Shankar: The Science of Identity

    Shane Parrish and Maya Shankar dive into the complexities of identity and personal transformation. They explore how significant life changes can reshape one's sense of self and explain how to navigate these transitions. Maya shares her personal stories and tips on making proactive choices and keeping a flexible, layered sense of self. They also discuss the psychological and philosophical aspects of identity, offering practical advice on goal-setting and personal growth.
    Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist and the creator, executive producer, and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans. Shankar was a Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She holds a Ph.D. in Cognitive Psychology from Oxford and a B.A from Yale.

    (00:00) Intro

    (02:40) Shankar's "almost unbelievable" story of getting into Julliard

    (05:30) Why Shankar studied identity

    (11:38) What is identity?

    (14:52) Using your identity to accomplish your goals

    (18:00) Using anti-identities to accomplish your goals

    (18:51) What to do when your identity is "attacked"

    (26:30) How to re-establish trust in institutions

    (32:30) Use identity to start a positive habit

    (35:35) How to debunk myths with stories and facts

    (37:18) How does how we frame our goals help (or prevent) us from accomplishing them

    (43:11) The one motivational technique Shankar uses every day

    (45:15) On success


    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠

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    #197 Michaeleen Doucleff: TEAM Parenting

    #197 Michaeleen Doucleff: TEAM Parenting

    It's surprising how often we give our kids orders: "Do this!" "Don't do that!" But if we want to raise resilient and independent kids, is this the right approach? Michaeleen Doucleff argues there's a better way, and in this conversation, she explains why and shares practical strategies for solving the parenting "crisis" in the modern world.


    In this conversation, Doucleff reveals four parenting principles that will help foster resilience and independence in your kids while protecting and enhancing their emotional well-being. Shane and Doucleff discuss her observations on how different cultures approach parenting and how their practices can help alleviate the burdens we place on ourselves and our children. We also explore the role of technology and its impact on our parenting and our children's development and maturity.
    Michaeleen Doucleff is the author of Hunt, Gather, Parent. Her work has taken her all over the world to explore, observe, and learn from the parenting practices of various cultures. She is also a correspondent for NPR's Science Desk.

    (00:00) Intro

    (04:12) How (and why) we've lost our way as parents

    (08:02) The rise of the nuclear family

    (13:46) TEAM Parenting: T

    (17:20) TEAM Parenting: E

    (23:01) Why you don't need to praise your child

    (26:12) TEAM Parenting: A

    (36:42) TEAM Parenting: M

    (38:34) "Kids do not need to be entertained"

    (39:12) Technology, parenting, and transmitting values

    (1:02:59) Resources parents can use to educate kids about technology

    (1:04:50) How you can use the environment to give kids autonomy

    (1:09:56) Success and parenting


    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠

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    #196 Brent Beshore: Business Brilliance and Happiness at Home

    #196 Brent Beshore: Business Brilliance and Happiness at Home

    Succeeding in both life and business is very difficult. The skills needed to scale a company often clash with those required to cultivate a thriving home life. Yet, Brent Beshore seems to have cracked the code—or at least he's actively working on it. In this conversation, he spills his secrets on excelling in both arenas.

    This episode is split into two parts: the first 45 minutes covers life and how to be a better person. Brent opens up about the evolution of his marriage, physical health, and inner life.

    The rest of the episode focuses on business. Shane and Beshore discuss private equity, how to hire (and when to fire) CEOs, incentives, why debt isn’t a good thing in an unpredictable world, stewardship versus ownership, and why personality tests are so important for a functional organization.
    After beginning his career as an entrepreneur, Brent Beshore founded Permanent Equity in 2007 and leads the firm as CEO. He works with investors and operators to evaluate new investment opportunities.


    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

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    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/

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    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

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    Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge


    (00:00) Intro

    (05:08) Why Brent examined his life

    (09:44) How Brent "fixed" his relationships

    (20:04) How helping hurts

    (32:13) How Brent was subtly controlling relationships

    (40:36) Why Brent stopped drinking (mostly)

    (50:29) How to run a business with love yet competitively

    (01:00:34) Win-win relationships

    (01:05:34) On debt

    (01:19:28) On incentives

    (01:29:08) How to hire and fire CEOs

    (01:34:18) What most people miss about hiring

    (01:44:19) Brent's playbook for taking over a company

    (01:51:20) On projections

    (01:55:52) Revisiting investments

    (01:58:44) How "hands-off" is Brent?

    (02:08:34) Where people go wrong in private equity

    (02:14:07) On success

    #195 Morgan Housel: Get Rich, Stay Rich

    #195 Morgan Housel: Get Rich, Stay Rich

    The skills it takes to get rich are drastically different from the skills it takes to stay rich. Few understand this phenomenon more than Morgan Housel. He's identified unique lessons about wealth, happiness, and money by studying the world's richest families and learning what they did to build their wealth and just how quickly they squandered it all.
    In this conversation, Shane and Housel discuss various aspects of risk-taking, wealth accumulation, and financial independence. Morgan explains the importance of understanding personal financial goals and the dangers of social comparison, lets everyone in on his personal financial “mistake” that instantly made him sleep better at night, and why the poorest people in the world disproportionately play the lottery—and why it makes sense that they do. They also touch on the influence of upbringing on financial behaviors, the difference between being rich and wealthy, and the critical role of compounding in financial success. Of course, we can’t have a writer as good as Morgan Housel on the podcast and not ask him about his process, so Housel concludes with insights into storytelling, his writing processes, and the importance of leading by example in teaching financial values to children.
    Morgan Housel is a partner at Collaborative Fund. Previously, he was an analyst at The Motley Fool. He is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers and was selected by the Columbia Journalism Review for the Best Business Writing anthology. He's the author of two books: The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever.
    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

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    (00:00) Intro

    (04:46) Risk and income

    (07:40) On luck and skill

    (10:10) Buffett's secret strategy

    (12:28) The one trait you need to build wealth

    (16:20) Housel's capital allocation strategy

    (16:48) Index funds, explained

    (20:59) Expectations and moving goalposts

    (22:17) Your house: asset or liability?

    (27:39) Money lies we believe

    (32:12) How to avoid status games

    (35:04) Money rules from parents

    (40:15) Rich vs. wealthy

    (41:46) Housel's influential role models

    (42:48) Why are rich people miserable?

    (45:59) How success sows the seeds of average performance

    (49:50) On risk

    (50:59) Making money, spending money, saving money

    (52:50) How the Vanderbilt's squandered their wealth

    (1:04:11) How to manage your expectations

    (01:06:26) How to talk to kids about money

    (01:09:52) The biggest risk to capitalism

    (01:13:56) The magic of compounding

    (01:16:18) How Morgan reads

    (01:22:42) How to tell the best story

    (01:24:42) How Morgan writes

    (01:35:42) Parting wisdom and thoughts on success

    #194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap

    #194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap
    Over the last decade, therapy has become the de facto solution to solve all sorts of problems for all sorts of people. Everyone has slowly accepted that therapy is normal and a net benefit to society.

    But instead of helping kids work through difficult circumstances, what if it's just making the problems worse? That's what Abigail Shrier thinks is happening, and in this conversation, she reveals some surprising reasons why.

    Shane and Shrier discuss the real reason therapy is "bad," how we got to this point of acceptance as a culture, and what you can do as a parent to get back to normalcy. Shrier also shares her experiences with lifelong therapy patients, who should actually be in therapy, and the one thing that makes someone a successful parent.

    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/ 

    Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish

    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

    Sponsors:

    Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge

    (00:00) Intro
    (05:44) Inverse: How do we raise mentally unstable kids?
    (08:29) How we got to now
    (11:45) Bad therapy...or just social trends?
    (13:21) Being your kids' friend: good or bad?
    (15:55) The parenting type that raises the BEST kids
    (21:35) Is this all the parents' fault?
    (29:53) Is "Bad Therapy" a world-wide problem?
    (32:57) Talk to your kids' therapist about these things
    (42:09) The importance of facing adversity in childhood
    (47:06) Can we blame grad schools for all of this?
    (49:14) On technology and social media
    (51:03) Schools should "never" have gotten involved in mental health
    (54:43) Did COVID accelerate "bad therapy?"
    (56:07) How to return to normalcy
    (58:21) Why Shane shares negative YouTube comments with his kids
    (01:01:23) Shrier's experience being "cancelled"
    (01:04:13) On prestige media
    (01:07:47) Small steps parents can take to return to normal
    (01:11:02) Dealing with schools saying one thing and parents saying another
    (01:13:32) Why is the silent majority...silent?
    (01:16:32) If this continues, what happens?
    (01:18:19) What makes someone a successful parent?

    #193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

    #193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

    What if reaching the next level of success wasn't determined by another skill, degree, or course but by something that changed on the inside?

    That's what Dr. Jim Loehr believes, and in this episode, he reveals everything he knows about mental toughness and winning the mind game. Shane and Loehr discuss the radical importance of the stories you tell yourself—including how they can damage your kids—and how to change the negative stories you believe. Loehr also shares the best reflection questions to ask yourself to reveal personal blindspots, the importance of rituals for calming anxiety and performing under pressure, and how the best in the world use their recovery time effectively.

    Dr. Jim Loehr is a world-renowned performance psychologist and author of 16 books. From his more than 30 years of experience and applied research, Dr. Loehr believes the single most important factor in successful achievement, personal fulfillment, and life satisfaction is the strength of one’s character. Dr. Loehr possesses a masters and doctorate in psychology and is a full member of the American Psychological Association.

    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/ 

    Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish

    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

    Sponsor:

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge

     

    (00:00) Intro

    (03:20) Parenting and storytelling

    (06:15) How to determine whether or not the stories are limiting or enabling you

    (08:41) What the stories world-class performers tell themselves

    (15:02) How to change the stories you tell yourself

    (23:26) Questions to journal about

    (26:16) Private voices vs. public voices (and how they impact your kids)

    (31:32) How to help your friends change their stories

    (37:30) How to better come alongside your kids to prevent destructive behavior

    (44:48) - (45:06) What Loehr knows about high performers that others miss

    (53:12) On time and energy

    (01:06:26) Conquering the "between point" ritual

    (01:11:50) On rituals vs. habits

    (01:15:54) How to increase your mental toughness

    (01:23:51) On success