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    Timeless Wisdom for Leading a Life of Love, Friendship and Learning

    enDecember 14, 2021
    What does David Brooks believe constitutes a worthy life?
    How does Leon Kass contribute to our understanding of a meaningful life?
    What challenges do people face in navigating relationships today?
    What insights do historical texts like Austen's novels provide?
    How can we assess our happiness and goals over time?

    • Exploring the Meaning of a Worthy LifeFocus on character, relationships, and society's greater good for a fulfilling life. Engage in substantive conversations to navigate important questions.

      According to David Brooks, a worthy life is about making the most of the gift of existence by living in a way that allows us to look back at the end and feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. This can be achieved by focusing on important questions related to our character, relationships, and the greater good of society. Brooks emphasizes the importance of having substantive and wise conversations with others to help us navigate these questions, and he highlights Leon Kass as an exemplary figure in this regard. Throughout his career, Kass has explored various aspects of living a worthy life, from personal relationships to the role of a nation in bringing people together. The conversation between Brooks and Kass delves into these topics and offers insights on how to be a good person and build a meaningful life.

    • Living a Meaningful Life: Harmony Within and WithoutFind harmony in self, others, and great loves through work, relationships, community, learning, and spirituality. Focus on personal resonance over societal pressures.

      Living a meaningful life involves finding harmony within oneself, with others, and committing to great loves. This can be achieved through various domains, including real work, love and friendship, devotion to community, learning and understanding, and a connection to something higher. Many people struggle to identify their vocation or calling, and it's essential to focus on what truly resonates with us rather than societal pressures. Ultimately, we all desire to feel that our lives have mattered, and it's up to us and our culture to support and encourage these pursuits.

    • Discovering true passion and vocationEncourage self-reflection to find what brings satisfaction and deep gladness, not just status or admiration. Explore problems in the world that resonate with you and keep an open mind.

      Finding one's true passion and vocation in life is a complex and often lengthy process. Many young people are so focused on fulfilling obligations and meeting social expectations that they may lose touch with what truly makes them feel alive and fulfilled. To help students discern genuine passion from a desire for status or admiration, it's essential to ask questions and encourage self-reflection. The key is to identify what one loves to do and what brings satisfaction that doesn't depend on external validation. Eventually, individuals may find their vocation where their deep gladness meets the world's deep need. However, the traditional paths to finding a career are no longer as clear-cut as they once were, and many people may need to try various options before finding their true calling. It's crucial to encourage young people to look for problems in the world that resonate with them and to keep an open mind as they explore different possibilities.

    • Assessing happiness and goals intentionallyReflect on your happiness and goals every few years, find inspiration from historical and contemporary figures, and strive to make a positive impact on those around you.

      Living a meaningful life involves being intentional and reflective, breaking it down into smaller chapters, and striving to make a positive impact on those around us. The colonel's advice to assess happiness and goals every few years resonates with the idea of intentional living. We can learn from historical and contemporary figures who have lived worthy lives, no matter their circumstances. Morality is a matter of taste and admiration, and we can find examples of it in everyday life, from the radical self-sacrifice of Jimmy Durell to the disciplinarian love of LaRue Dorsey. By focusing on the good in the world and in people, we can find inspiration and motivation to live our own meaningful lives.

    • Becoming a good person through love and virtuesLearn compassion and courage from experiences, value eulogy virtues over resume virtues, and strive for a life of impact and service to others.

      Becoming a good person involves a combination of pure love and practical virtues, learned through experiences and habituation. The speaker draws on examples of individuals like nurses, Dorothy Day, and Abraham Lincoln, who have shown compassion and courage in their respective fields. While suffering can lead to compassion, it doesn't guarantee it. Instead, it's the habit of facing challenges and the disposition towards compassion that shapes one's character. The speaker values the eulogy virtues, which are the qualities that make a person admirable after they're gone, over resume virtues, which are skills that make a person good at their job. Ultimately, the speaker encourages us to broaden our definition of the good life to include these virtues and to strive for a life of impact and service to others.

    • Exploring Moral Formation: Guidance and Individual ResponsibilityMoral formation involves guidance and individual responsibility, shaping desires and refining judgments through experiences and intelligence.

      Moral formation is a process of confronting and overcoming fears, weaknesses, and negative desires, while also cultivating positive ones. This process begins with guidance from community, teachers, and religious leaders, but ultimately relies on individuals taking the reins of their own moral growth. Desires play a crucial role in this process, as having proper motivations and elevated desires can shape our actions and help us acquire good habits. Responsibilities, particularly those of parenthood, can also significantly impact moral development by instilling a sense of responsibility and love for others. Ultimately, moral education involves both shaping desires and refining judgments through experience and intelligence.

    • People are driven by their ruling passions for pleasure, honor, or understandingUnderstanding people's ruling passions can help us navigate relationships and interactions

      People are primarily driven by the ruling passions of their souls, and these passions shape their motivations and behaviors. Human beings are not just thinking creatures, but desiring ones. The most revealing distinctions among us are not based on race, class, gender, wealth, power, or culture, but rather, our fundamental differences lie in our passions for pleasure, honor, or understanding. By observing how people live, we can gain insights into their ruling passions. For instance, some people are driven by the desire for recognition and honor, while others are motivated by the pursuit of fun and pleasure, or the quest for knowledge and wisdom. The discussion also touched upon the concept of intimacy motivation, which suggests that many people have a deep longing to be loved and appreciated by their family and friends, and to form meaningful relationships. Ultimately, understanding the ruling passions of ourselves and others can help us navigate our relationships and interactions with the world around us.

    • Marriage as a 50-year conversationEncourage young people to value communication, understanding, and commitment in long-term relationships, emphasizing marriage as a 50-year conversation for deep, authentic connections.

      People yearn for deep, authentic connections and meaningful relationships, particularly in the context of marriage. While the cultural conversation around relationships and marriage has shifted towards a focus on individualism and instant gratification, it's important to remember that marriage is a 50-year conversation and requires a partner with whom you can talk, share, and grow. Nietzsche's idea of marriage as a long-term conversation hits the mark, as does the importance of kindness, admiration, and all three types of love: friendship, passion, and selfless love. However, young people today often view marriage as an outdated institution and prioritize vocation over relationships. As a result, it's crucial to encourage them to consider what marriage could mean for them and to practice building meaningful relationships. By emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and commitment, we can help them navigate the complexities of love and relationships and foster a culture that values and supports long-term partnerships.

    • Understanding Deep Relationships: Insights from Historical TextsHistorical texts like Jane Austen's novels and Aristotle's perspective on friendship offer valuable insights into deep relationships, emphasizing the importance of character-based connections for lasting growth and enrichment.

      In today's society, there are few rules guiding deep relationships, be it romantic or platonic, leaving individuals to figure things out on their own. This period of rulelessness can be challenging and disappointing, as people lack practices to navigate complex emotions and character assessments. In contrast, historical texts like Jane Austen's novels offer valuable insights into understanding human nature and distinguishing between different types of relationships, such as those based on utility, pleasure, and character. Aristotle's perspective on friendship highlights the importance of friendship based on character, where individuals are drawn to each other for who they are and enjoy the intellectual exchange of thoughts and ideas. Such friendships are unique and enduring, as they enrich both parties and provide a lifetime of learning and growth.

    • The power of shared experiences and common vulnerabilitiesShared experiences and common vulnerabilities build deep connections and loyalty, essential during challenging times, as seen in the Israelites' journey from slavery to a nation.

      Shared experiences and common vulnerabilities build deep connections and loyalty among individuals, whether it's through a weekly basketball game or military service. However, these relationships can be tested during challenging times, and it's essential to have friends who can provide support and understanding. The story of Exodus, as described in the book "Founded God's Nation," offers valuable insights into the formation of a people and a nation. The Israelites' journey from slavery to a nation of 600,000 people involved three significant stages: their enslavement and miraculous deliverance, receiving the law at Sinai, and building the tabernacle to worship their creator. These stages provide a national narrative, a moral and legal framework, and an aspiration for spiritual connection, which can serve as pillars for any stable regime.

    • Elements for a stable nation: shared story, common law, higher aspirationThe Exodus story emphasizes the importance of replacing servility and oppression with edifying and elevating service. America's identity is rooted in the spirit of liberty and religion, but the balance between them has shifted, threatening our common humanity and moral values.

      A shared national story, a common law, and a higher aspiration are essential elements for a stable and enduring nation. The Exodus story, which has played a significant role in America's identity, emphasizes the importance of replacing servility and oppression with edifying and elevating service. The spirit of liberty and religion were once mutually reinforcing in America, but the balance between them has shifted. The biblical teachings of our common humanity and moral values that produce virtuous citizens are increasingly threatened and in retreat. Without these foundational elements, the fabric of a nation may fray, and its people may struggle to remain cohesive.

    • Biblical teachings and foundational principles of justice and fairnessThe cultural teachings that support self-command, self-restraint, and community have weakened, leading to a loss of social capital, a breakdown in connections, and a rise in individualism. We need to address this issue to maintain a robust, unified national society and culture.

      The foundational principles of justice and fairness in American society have roots in biblical teachings, but the cultural teachings that support self-command, self-restraint, and community have weakened, leading to a loss of social capital, a breakdown in connections, and a rise in individualism. This has resulted in a society that is more divided and less communal than in the past, and it is a significant sociological problem that requires attention. Despite the challenges, there is hope that we can recreate institutions and communities that we have faith in and are willing to submit to in order to be formed by them. However, the current state of affairs is cause for concern, and it is essential to address these issues if we care about a robust, unified national society and culture.

    • Reconnecting with America's heritage through education and engagementThrough education and engagement with great works of American history, founding documents, and Western civilization, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves and our nation, fostering the formation of souls and communities.

      To understand and appreciate the present and future of America, we must reconnect with our intellectual, cultural, and moral heritage. This can be achieved through education, focusing on the great works of American history, founding documents, and Western civilization. It's essential to remember both the challenges and the greatness of America. Furthermore, the formation of souls and communities can be fostered by engaging with people who make a difference in their local areas. The book of Exodus, for instance, can make us more humble and gentle by encouraging us to read it with an open mind and heart, and to imagine ourselves as part of a larger story. Through this process, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our nation.

    • Experience great books deeply for personal growthClose reading and active engagement with impactful texts can lead to new perspectives and soul-touching experiences, making a difference in everyday life.

      Great books should not be merely read and studied for academic purposes, but rather, they should be experienced deeply and personally in order to allow them to impact and transform us. The speaker, a professor, shared his own experiences of being deeply moved by works like the Nicomachean Ethics, the Hebrew Bible, Tocqueville's Democracy in America, and George Eliot's Daniel Deronda. He emphasized the importance of close reading and active engagement with these texts, and encouraged readers to approach them with the hope that they might open new perspectives and touch the soul. The speaker also highlighted the importance of these "big subjects" in everyday life, and expressed gratitude for the opportunity to discuss them in depth on the Ezra Klein Show.

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    Brown bottle flu reference

    Belonging by Owen Eastwood. 
     
    Brain Rules by John Medina. 

    ---

    About Paul Haury:

    “I guide people to experience belonging, in self-belonging, in their own brilliance, and within their company tribes, to really live & perform better than they ever imagined. In my most recent endeavors, I've served as VP of people & culture and as a professional coach, specializing in belonging and optimal performance for individuals and OrgDev. I believe we perform at our highest when we belong, and believe in shared purpose together. There, we simply fear less and aspire more.”

    Check out Paul’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

    ---

    ABOUT SARAH:

    Sarah Elkins with dog in snow, Elkins Consulting logo and Gallup Strengthsfinder logo

    "Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."

    In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.

    My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.

    The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!

    Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.

     

    Mixtape Love

    Mixtape Love
    This week The Real Thinkers sit down to discuss everything surrounding Bill Cosby, women wanting a man like Papoose, running off a potential lover, tips on job interviewing, and more. Follow us now on twitter! @RealThinkersPod, @JayGray2, @AMBITIOUS_SLIM, @JustCallMeDay, @DUH_IM_Tink, and @KP_Trill for all updates. Be sure to subscribe to the show on iTunes, rate, and review! Follow On Stitcher Radio, like, share and comment! **If you want to write into the show and ask us for advice on something going on in your life, or would like to tell us a story, or just tell us how much you enjoy our podcast. Email us here RealThinkersPodcast@gmail.com We will pick one each week to read them on the show!**

    Encore SALSA: San Antonio’s “Secret Sauce” to Promoting Successful Aging

    Encore SALSA: San Antonio’s “Secret Sauce” to Promoting Successful Aging
    Most of us are well acquainted with salsa—the spicy mixture of tomato and chili sauce we enjoy with tortilla chips at Mexican restaurants and at parties with friends. But now we can learn about another kind of SALSA—no, not the Latin dance, but a zesty Texas-based initiative known as Successful Aging and Living in San Antonio—SALSA, for short. In today’s episode, we talk with Jane Paccione, the Managing Director of Collective Impact for the San Antonio Area Foundation, which created SALSA with the mission of transforming the community by advancing practices that improve the quality of life of older adults. A passionate and insightful advocate, Jane will explain how SALSA “brings everyone to the table”—connecting businesses, nonprofits, and government entities—thus creating a movement that turns collaboration into “collective impact,” an approach that is more likely to solve complex problems. She’ll describe the work of SALSA partners on issues such as housing, transportation, social engagement, health, and caregiver support. She’ll also talk about “Reframing Aging,” a key national initiative designed to change the narrative about what aging means, combat ageist stereotypes and language, and improve the public’s understanding of the many ways that older people contribute to our society.
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