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    TOTALLY EXTRA: Halitosis Soup, A Cougar MIL & Anna in a PJ

    enJuly 07, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Luana's Anticipation for Her Trip to DublinLuana is excited for her trip to Dublin, particularly the private jet ride home, and looks forward to seeing friends and creating content.

      Luana, the speaker, is going on a trip to Dublin and is excited about it, particularly the private jet ride home. She's looking forward to seeing her Irish friends and creating Instagram content. Despite initially planning to fly commercial, she ended up getting a seat on a private jet due to her husband's arrangements. She's thrilled about avoiding the airport crowds and being able to "rub herself all over" the private jet. The speaker also mentions her jealousy towards her husband flying with their kids on a separate plane and inviting some friends along for the ride. Overall, the speaker expresses her excitement and anticipation for the trip and the perks that come with it.

    • Sharing experiences and humor in a podcast discussionThrough shared experiences and humor, a podcast discussion creates a sense of community and connection among participants, making mundane situations more enjoyable and relatable.

      People often find comfort and connection through shared experiences and humor, even in seemingly mundane situations. In the discussion, Louanne shares her experience of dealing with travel inconveniences and the excitement of an upcoming podcast event. Kaye expresses her enjoyment of the podcast and her annoyance about her daughter's plans to attend an event. Ursula shares her observation about her dating preferences and seeks validation from the podcast community. Throughout the conversation, the use of humor and relatability creates a sense of community and connection among the participants. Additionally, the anticipation of the podcast event and the announcement of a big announcement adds to the excitement and engagement. Overall, the discussion highlights the power of shared experiences and humor in bringing people together and creating a sense of community.

    • The Attraction to Similarities in RelationshipsEmbrace the complexities of human connections and don't be too hard on ourselves for the patterns we may notice in our relationships. Importance of self-awareness, acceptance, and shared experiences in building and maintaining relationships.

      Sometimes we may find ourselves attracted to people who are surprisingly similar to us, even if they're not our actual family members. This phenomenon is not uncommon and can be explained by the fact that we often seek in others what we see in ourselves. However, it's essential to remember that everyone has unique experiences and perspectives, and there's nothing inherently wrong with having romantic or sexual relationships with people who share some resemblance to us. Additionally, the discussion touched upon the idea that people often seek out what they know or find comforting, which can manifest in various ways, including romantic relationships. The group also shared some jokes and humor to lighten the mood. It's important to remember that everyone's experiences and relationships are unique, and it's essential to approach them with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow. The key takeaway is to embrace the complexities of human connections and not be too hard on ourselves for the patterns we may notice in our relationships. Moreover, the conversation highlighted the importance of humor and shared experiences in building and strengthening relationships, whether they're romantic or platonic. It's essential to keep things light and enjoy the moments of connection and laughter that come our way. Overall, the discussion emphasized the importance of self-awareness, acceptance, and the power of shared experiences and humor in building and maintaining relationships.

    • Stories of unexpected challenges and adaptabilityUnexpected challenges can arise in various aspects of life, requiring us to adapt and find creative solutions to maintain comfort and harmony.

      Life can present unexpected challenges, whether it's an Irishman deciding to quit something unexpectedly or a woman dealing with her kids' kicks in the night. Gemma shared her frustration with her kids' sleeping positions and the resulting discomfort, while an anonymous caller, Manfan, found himself in an awkward situation with his girlfriend's mother's advances during a family dinner. Despite the different situations, both individuals faced unexpected situations that required them to adapt and find solutions. The Irishman found humor in the situation, while Gemma tried to create a barrier between herself and her kids. Manfan, on the other hand, was left wondering how to navigate the situation with his girlfriend's mother without causing discomfort or offense. Overall, these stories illustrate the importance of adaptability and finding creative solutions to unexpected challenges.

    • Respecting Personal Boundaries in Social SituationsBe aware of and respect personal boundaries in social situations. Use body language and tone to establish clear boundaries if someone's behavior makes you uncomfortable. Consider the other person's personality and social context before jumping to conclusions.

      It's important to be aware of and respect personal boundaries in social situations. This was discussed when addressing a listener's concern about a friend's behavior towards them. If someone is being overly familiar or flirtatious in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it's crucial to establish clear boundaries. This can be done through body language and tone. On the other hand, it's also important to consider the other person's personality and social context before jumping to conclusions. Another topic touched upon was the "would you rather" game, which was shared as a humorous anecdote from someone's past. The discussion highlighted the immature nature of some would you rather questions and the discomfort they can cause. Overall, the conversation emphasized the importance of respecting boundaries and being mindful of others' feelings in social situations.

    • People find creative ways to cope with difficult situationsPeople can find joy or satisfaction in small victories, even if they may not be morally right or financially significant, but it's important to remember to not harm others or cross the line into potential danger or harm.

      People can find creative ways to cope with difficult situations, even if those ways may seem petty or mischievous. The first story involves a woman seeking revenge against her husband's ex-wife by rubbing kiwi juice on items her children would take back to her, causing an allergic reaction. The second story shares an experience of a woman selling clothes online and feeling disappointed when a buyer offered a lower price, leading her to block the buyer. Both stories illustrate how people can find joy or satisfaction in small victories, even if they may not be morally right or financially significant. However, it's important to remember that these actions should not harm others or cross the line into potential danger or harm. Overall, these stories highlight the human tendency to find ways to cope with challenging situations and the importance of setting boundaries.

    • Unexpected events disrupting a day offUnexpected events can disrupt even the best-laid plans for self-care, but it's important to prioritize taking time for oneself when possible.

      Even the busiest parents need a break from their daily routines every once in a while. The speaker, a mother of four who works two jobs, shared her experience of seizing an unexpected opportunity for some peace and quiet, only to be thwarted by a series of unexpected events. She had arranged for her in-laws to pick up her children from school and take them for dinner, so she could enjoy a day off. However, when her son forgot his trainers, she was forced to hide in her room to avoid being discovered. To make matters worse, her father-in-law stumbled upon her vibrator and assumed it was for her husband. The speaker was mortified and wished she had just gone to work instead. Despite the embarrassment, she acknowledged the importance of taking time for oneself and encouraged everyone to have a day of relaxation when the opportunity arises.

    • The value of unexpected alone timeEmbrace alone time for self-care, productivity, and appreciation of the present moment. Don't apologize for prioritizing yourself.

      It's important to value and cherish alone time, even if it comes unexpectedly. The speaker shared her experience of having a productive day at home, feeling grateful for the quiet and being able to focus on tasks. She also acknowledged the importance of not apologizing for needing time for oneself. Additionally, she shared a common relatable experience of sometimes wondering about alternate paths in life. Overall, the episode emphasized the importance of self-care, productivity, and appreciating the present moment. Remember, everyone deserves some alone time, and it's essential to prioritize it when possible.

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    Transcription

    Hi there, Dr. Debi here, and today I want to talk about setting a good example. And I'm saying it because I caught myself not setting a good example. Whether you have kids, a team, anyone that you're trying to set an example for, I'm going to share what happened with me, so you can prevent something like this from happening to you.

    So, this is my 30th year in business and I'm always trying to learn and grow, so I can share what I learned with members within The PBT Institute. I'm usually going to at least one mastermind group a year. One, maybe two, because learning from the most brilliant experts and collaborating with amazing people, it helps me learn and grow and really up my game. I see what they're doing and inspires me to do more.

     There was one of my groups, and I was thinking about it and I said; you know, I didn't really participate so I really didn't get much out of it. I'm not going to sign up with them again. And then it hit me and I said, Oh my gosh, if that's what I'm doing. That's probably what members within the PBT institute will do. They didn't get involved, so they didn't get the value, so they're going to leave!

     So, what did I do with that? The first thing I did was message my coach, and said, I know we had last weekend to jump in and sign again, for the new year. I totally messed up, I'm in, and this time if I come back in, if you let me in (because it was all these wonderful bonuses and things for resigning). If you let me back in, I'm diving in headfirst.

     My own intensity shocked me but I really linked committing- diving in headfirst, to what our members in the community will do. And so I heard back, and I'm in.

     Again, I'm going to be in two masterminds this year but here’s the difference. This time I took the yearly schedule of all of the classes and coaching calls and everything, and I put them in my calendar, my written calendar, I put them in my online calendar and I prioritized them. What we prioritize, we get done. I don't know about you, but there were times before my own workouts were a habit, I would actually have to write them in as an appointment. I thought that was so crazy, but I realized, I respect any other appointment that I have, but for some reason my own stuff, I don't prioritize, so if we don't prioritize it doesn't happen, and I wrote it in as an appointment.

    I also found that I have to write it in, let's say, earlier in the day because I wasn't prioritizing it my own self care enough that I just needed it foolproof. And I realized that if I schedule it later in the day, if there are other things that need to happen, it gets knocked off the list. So if I do it early enough, we can protect that time, ensure we get it in, even if it's a few minutes. Whatever it is, that time for yourself, whether it's for a morning self-care routine or a way that you connect, journal, meditate, whatever it is for you.

     But what really struck me was that we can talk a big game. I have four kids, 25,24, 21 and 19. And as they were growing up, I remember always saying, they're going to listen when I speak, but they're going to really understand if they watch me do it, and it kept me on my game, for the most part, when they were growing up. But this was just something where I caught myself, and I didn't like how I behaved and how I reacted so I immediately caught it.

     Here's the good news. You have an opportunity, all the time, to check in on yourself and see how you're showing up and see what you're doing. And if you don't like something, if you could do something better, differently, whatever. It's not that you're never supposed to be happy with yourself, but it's always good to just take a look and say, Could I do something a little bit better, could I do something a little bit differently? And that's how you grow. That's how you constantly reinvent yourself, improve on what wasn't working for you before.

     But, I didn't like that. I felt like I bailed on myself, because it's an amazing group. I didn't give myself, what I could have given myself from the experience. How often has that happened to you where you invest in something and you don't play full out, you don't give it 100%? I do this sometimes even with books. I want to read a book, and then I'll listen really quickly, or an online program and I just want to get through it. But did I really devour it the way I could have or should have to get the most out of it. It was a real wake up call, just to call myself on myself and just say; You know what, I don't like how I just showed up right there. And then, I did something about it.

     So here's what I would recommend you do. Take a look at where you may have bailed and maybe where you didn't set an example you wanted to. If you do have kids. Is there something you are doing that if your child were to do, you wouldn't like it? Well, there you go. Mom or Dad, what's the best way to teach, do it.

     Is there a team or group that you're a part of? And you’re in a work scenario or where you're contributing in some way or something that you're doing throughout your day, where you're not showing up the way you want to? And, if you put the time, effort, in a little bit differently, (not more but differently), you could have a much different result? I invite you to take a look. Because, certainly I caught myself doing that, and I did not like what I found.

     So, when we take on these new commitments and obligations, does it take a little reworking of our schedule? Of course, I mean now I'm committed to all of these extra coaching calls where it's like; Where's that time going to come from that in my day? But, I know I'm going to learn so much. I know I'm going to meet the most amazing like-minded people that I want to collaborate with. People I want to get to know who will inspire me to do different things, better thing, bolder things. So, I hope this inspires you to take a look at what you've been doing, how you've been acting, how you've been showing up and see that, maybe there's a way you can tweak what you're doing so you set a better example.

     Now, if you're absolutely perfect, well then I just hope you learned something from my mistake J . You get what I'm saying. I hope you just take a look at what you've been doing, how you've been showing up and see if you could just up it just a little bit.

     I want to thank you so much for this Dose of Dr Debi it's certainly what I learned this week about myself and check in for so much more. Coming at you every week with the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast and these little short doses of little nuggets that I've learned about members within our community or myself.

     Subscribe, rate and review if you're enjoying the podcast, please tell your friends. And if we can support you within The PBT Institute, Oh my gosh there's really no place like it. We have live daily classes with certified coaches- we have one practitioner who's been a therapist for 37 years. We have, coaches and practitioners who specialize in trauma, chronic pain, in addiction, in reconciliation, in narcissism, in divorce. We are bringing together the most brilliant experts to teach you every single day. Our lowest level membership is $97 a month, so if you want to, you can go to, I think we have something like 15 to 20 live classes at this point in time, live classes a week.

     So now think about it. One session with let's say a therapist who isn't highly skilled in betrayal does way more harm than good. You can go to these live classes, asking coaches questions, asking practitioners questions we have the most amazing community. I'm in there every week doing Q&A We have master classes I'm bringing in incredible thought leaders. Oh, and we have our signature programs that literally walk you through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough. So, even one month, $97 a month is amazing. Now, healing is now truly a choice, there is no reason to stay stuck, we have the tools, we have the support, we have the research.

     This is research based. We know what it takes to heal and we have everything within the community for you so if that resonates and if it's something that you just want to give a try. You could do it month by month. That's fine I get it, you may have some trust issues. I understand. So we do it that way, and you could just find everything you need.  To research some more just go to: https://thepbtinstitute.com/join/ . And, and if you just want to learn how to trust again move through the stages on your own, you want to try out a chapter of my book Trust Again, you could find that here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/freegift/ .

     Thank you so much and I'll see you next time. Bye.

     

    Resources Mentioned

    PBT Podcasts
    Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz

    PBT Institute Membership Community

    Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness
    Trust Again Free Gift