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    What happens in our brain when we grieve — and how it helps us stay afloat

    en-usDecember 18, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Exploring the Complex Process of GriefGrief is a natural response to loss, involving various emotions and a continuous learning process for those who are grieving. Simple joys like hosting a brunch can provide comfort and connection during this time.

      Grief, a natural response to loss, is a complex process that involves learning new rules and coping mechanisms as our brains try to make sense of the world without the presence of a loved one. According to psychologist Mary Frances O'Connor, this process can manifest in various emotions such as panic, anxiety, sadness, yearning, difficulty concentrating, and confusion. It's like a spin cycle that turns our whole world upside down. The loss of a relationship can significantly impact our sense of self, and the grieving process requires us to adapt and learn new ways to navigate the world. Mary Frances views grief as a form of learning, and it's a continuous background process for those who are grieving. This episode of Shortwave delves deeper into the science of grief, its causes, and how our brains process it as a learning and healing experience. In the midst of this profound topic, remember that life goes on, and simple joys like hosting a celebratory brunch can bring comfort and connection. Whole Foods Market's 365 brand offers wallet-friendly finds like cold smoked Atlantic salmon, mini quiches, organic everything bagels, and more, making it easier to host a memorable brunch for less. Plus, visit the floral department for a beautiful bouquet to brighten your table.

    • Apple Card rewards for Apple purchases and Apple PayApple Card offers attractive rewards for purchases made at Apple and through Apple Pay, providing comfort and financial stability during the grieving process

      Apple Card offers attractive rewards for purchases made at Apple and through Apple Pay, making it an excellent choice for those looking to maximize their daily cash earnings. Meanwhile, grief is a complex emotional state characterized by the loss of a loved one and the process of adapting to their absence. Initially, the experience of grief can be overwhelming and unfamiliar, but over time, individuals learn to recognize and navigate the emotional waves that come with it. The loss of a loved one can feel like a part of oneself is gone, emphasizing the interconnectedness of relationships. While dealing with grief, Apple Card's rewards can provide a small yet meaningful source of comfort and financial stability.

    • Understanding Prolonged GriefProlonged grief disorder, affecting 10%, hinders natural healing with persistent 'what if' thoughts. Unique healing trajectories call for intervention.

      Grief is a complex and individual process that becomes a part of who we are, and not everyone's experience follows the same timeline. While some people may adapt to their grief over time, others may experience prolonged grief disorder, affecting around 10% of individuals. This condition, previously known as complicated grief, is characterized by complications that hinder the natural healing process. One such complication is the persistent rumination of "what ifs" and regrets. It's important to note that everyone's healing trajectory is unique, and for those experiencing prolonged grief, intervention can help them adapt to their grief differently.

    • Counterfactual thoughts and their impact on grieving processCounterfactual thoughts, or thoughts about what could have been, can hinder the grieving process by creating a virtual scenario that isn't reality, affecting memory recall, perspective-taking, and heart rate regulation. Brain studies suggest that complicated grief activates reward centers, deepening emotional connection to the lost loved one.

      Counterfactual thoughts, or thoughts about what could have been if a loved one didn't die, can be detrimental to the grieving process. These thoughts create a virtual scenario where the person didn't die, but this isn't reality. Instead of providing answers or helping us adapt to the reality of the loss, these thoughts can hinder our ability to learn how to live in the present. From a neuroscience perspective, research shows that grief affects various brain functions, including memory recall, perspective-taking, and heart rate regulation. A study comparing individuals with complicated grief to those with regular grief found that the nucleus accumbens, a brain region associated with reward and pair bonding, shows increased activation when people think about the deceased. This suggests that the reward centers of the brain are activated during complicated grief, possibly explaining the deep emotional connection to the lost loved one. Overall, it's essential to recognize that dwelling on counterfactual thoughts and the associated emotional yearning can hinder the grieving process, and understanding the neurobiological basis of grief can provide valuable insights into the complex emotional experience of loss.

    • The connection between grief and reward in the brainWhile grief can lead to personal growth and valuable life lessons, complicated grief may hinder the healing process, and access to resources is crucial for adapting and moving forward.

      The experience of grief and the concept of reward in the brain are connected in ways that may impact the healing process for some individuals. While the rest of us may adapt to the absence of a loved one and eventually move on, those with complicated grief may still yearn for that person's return, making the learning process more difficult and prolonged. This idea ties into the concept of post-traumatic growth, which suggests that while grief and loss are sources of immense suffering, they can also lead to valuable life lessons and personal growth, especially with the right support. However, it's essential to remember that bereavement is a health disparity, meaning that not everyone has equal access to the resources needed to adapt and grow from the experience.

    • Challenges of grieving during COVID-19, particularly for black childrenRecognize and empathize with unique grieving challenges during COVID-19, especially for those who lost loved ones and children, and acknowledge sacrifices made to prevent virus spread.

      The grieving process can be more challenging when individuals lack support due to various issues they face in their lives. This was highlighted during the COVID-19 pandemic, where black children, for instance, were disproportionately affected by losing a parent or caregiver. For those who have experienced loss due to COVID-19, it's essential to listen and be present rather than trying to make them feel better. Additionally, the unique circumstances of COVID-19 deaths in hospitals without loved ones present adds to the difficulty in processing the loss. The sacrifices made by loved ones who stayed away to prevent the spread of the virus should be recognized to aid in the healing process. Mary Frances O'Connor emphasized the importance of acknowledging these challenges and the need for empathy and understanding during this time.

    • Exploring the Science of Grief and Personal ConnectionScience and personal experience intertwine in understanding complex emotions like grief. Podcasts like Shortwave, Choiceology, and Bullseye showcase this connection, emphasizing the importance of sharing knowledge and engaging with diverse perspectives.

      Science and personal connection go hand in hand, especially when it comes to understanding experiences like grief. This was emphasized during a conversation on the podcast Shortwave, where they discussed the upcoming book "The Grieving Brain" by Mary Frances O'Connor. The episode, produced by Burley McCoy and edited by Giselle Grayson, among others, explored the science behind grief and the importance of sharing experiences and knowledge. This idea of the connection between science and personal experience is further highlighted by sponsor Choiceology, a podcast about the psychology and economics behind people's decisions. Meanwhile, another sponsor, Medtronic, is using AI to improve healthcare and change lives, showcasing the potential for scientific advancements to positively impact individuals. Moreover, Bullseye, a podcast that interviews brilliant authors, musicians, actors, and novelists, underscores the importance of engaging with diverse perspectives and pop culture. These examples demonstrate that learning and growth can stem from both scientific discovery and personal connection.

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