Podcast Summary
Understanding Priorities and Using Soft Power for Influence in the Workplace: To effectively influence colleagues in the workplace, focus on understanding their priorities, communicate effectively, and use soft power techniques like building rapport and demonstrating expertise.
Influencing people in the workplace, especially those who don't report to us, requires understanding their priorities, reaching out to them effectively, and using soft power techniques. Nashar Dau Solheim, a forensic psychologist and leadership coach, shares her insights from studying influence within organizations, particularly in virtual work settings. She emphasizes the importance of preparation and relaxed body language. Soft power, a concept introduced by Harvard political scientist Joseph Nye, describes the ability to shape others' preferences without using force or rewards. As team leaders, we can motivate and influence others through this approach, making it even more valuable when trying to influence those we don't manage directly. Nasheter Dalsolhaim, a forensic psychologist and leadership coach, brings her background in investigative questioning and building rapport to her executive coaching and leadership consulting work. Her book, "The Leadership Pin Code," offers practical advice on unlocking willing and winning relationships.
Applying Forensic Skills in Diverse Settings: Effective communication involves advanced preparation, active listening, and empathy to create a collaborative atmosphere in various settings.
Effective communication and relationship-building skills, honed through years of experience as a forensic psychologist, can be applied in various settings, including maximum security prisons and business environments. The three key elements, or the ABC, that emerged from these experiences are advanced preparation, active listening and empathy. Advanced preparation involves thorough research and understanding of the person's motivations and interests to create a collaborative atmosphere. Active listening and empathy require validating their experiences while encouraging change, and using body language and behavior to create a cooperative environment. These skills, learned in a challenging setting, proved invaluable in business settings when working with resistant leaders.
Building rapport and trust in communication: Asking questions and focusing on the other person's perspective can help establish a positive connection and build rapport in business interactions, leading to successful communication and collaboration.
Effective communication in any context, including business interactions, begins with building rapport and trust. When meeting someone new, a simple greeting or question like "how are you?" or "why are we here today?" can help establish a positive connection. Asking "how do you feel about meeting me today?" can provide valuable insights into the other person's motivation and engagement level. In a business context, it's important to focus on the other person's perspective and needs, rather than just your own agenda. This approach can help foster goodwill and cooperation, especially in lateral relationships where collaboration is necessary. In today's world, where cold calling and outreach to unfamiliar contacts are common, this emphasis on building rapport and trust is more important than ever. By putting ourselves in the other person's shoes and focusing on their perspective, we can create a stronger foundation for successful communication and collaboration.
Shift from egocentric to empathetic approach: Understand others' priorities, interests, and current situation to build stronger relationships and increase positive responses
Effective communication and successful requests for help or support require a shift from an egocentric approach to a more empathetic and considerate one. Instead of starting with our own needs and assumptions, we should take the time to understand the other person's priorities, interests, and current situation. This not only increases the likelihood of a positive response but also builds stronger relationships. To do this, we need to suspend our own agenda and focus on what the other person might gain from helping us. This approach creates a "win-win" situation where both parties benefit. However, finding this information can be challenging. It may involve researching the person or company, asking open-ended questions, or engaging in small talk to build rapport. Ultimately, the effort put into understanding the other person's perspective will pay off in more meaningful and productive interactions.
Preparation and mindfulness in stakeholder interactions: Effective communication and preparation are crucial in managing relationships with stakeholders. Research and preparation demonstrate interest and help determine the best approach and timing. Be mindful of body language and mindset during interactions, and consider the stakeholder's preferences and availability to ensure successful outcomes.
Effective communication and preparation are key elements in managing relationships with stakeholders, whether it's managing up or managing out. Before reaching out to someone, conducting research and preparation can show interest and help determine the best approach and timing. However, it's essential to be mindful of body language and mindset during these interactions. Unconscious thoughts and anxieties can impact the conversation, so being conscious of and preparing both the mindset and the communication strategy can lead to successful outcomes. Additionally, understanding the stakeholder's preferences and availability is crucial in determining the best approach, whether it's a physical meeting, email, or phone call. Overall, taking the time to prepare and approach stakeholder interactions with intentionality and mindfulness can lead to positive outcomes.
The Importance of Physical Setup in Conversations: Mindfully arranging chairs and body language during conversations can lead to more effective and productive interactions. Try sitting at a 90-degree angle or in a V-shape without a table for in-person conversations, and be aware of others' preferences for virtual meetings.
The way we arrange chairs and position ourselves during physical conversations can significantly impact the dynamic of the interaction. People often make the mistake of sitting directly across from each other at a 180-degree angle, which can create a formal and guarded atmosphere. Instead, sitting at a 90-degree angle or in a V-shape without a table can encourage easy eye contact, relaxed body language, and a more collaborative and solution-oriented conversation. However, with remote or virtual meetings, creating a similar collegiate feel can be challenging. It's essential to know the other person's preferences and establish a comfortable and inviting virtual environment. Overall, being mindful of our physical setup during conversations can lead to more effective and productive interactions.
Effective Virtual Communication: Empathy and Active Listening: Use video mode, mirror visuals, empathize through active listening, and ask open questions to build productive relationships during virtual meetings
Effective communication, whether in person or virtually, requires a reciprocal and empathetic approach. During virtual meetings, using video mode and mirroring the other person's visuals can help replicate a physical interaction and validate their presence. Empathy, a crucial component of communication, can be demonstrated through active listening and curiosity. By asking open questions, summarizing what the other person said, and reflecting it back to them, you can show that you have paid attention and understand their perspective. These skills apply not only to managing teams but also to managing up, where it's essential to understand the other person's interests and needs to build a productive relationship.
Tailor messages to audience's needs and context: Understand priorities and needs to frame skills in valuable context, avoid self-promotion and build strong relationships.
Effective communication in professional settings requires tailoring your message to the needs and context of your audience. This is especially important when trying to manage up or out, as it can help ensure that your achievements and strengths are perceived as valuable contributions rather than self-promotional bragging. Instead of simply stating what you can do, consider understanding the priorities and needs of the person or team you're trying to reach, and frame your skills and abilities in the context of how you can add value to their projects or initiatives. By focusing on the other person's context, you can avoid coming across as egocentric and instead build a strong, collaborative relationship.
Unlocking the key to willing and winning relationships: Empathy, active listening, and genuine connection are crucial for effective communication and building strong relationships. Focusing on these skills can help leaders better understand and cater to the interests and contexts of others, leading to increased support and success.
Key takeaway from this conversation between Nasir Dau Solheim and Kurt Nikish on the HBR Ideacast is the importance of understanding and catering to the interests and contexts of others in order to effectively communicate and build relationships. Solheim, a forensic psychologist and leadership coach, emphasized that if we fail to do so, our intentions may not be well understood or met with the desired support. She encourages leaders to unlock the key to willing and winning relationships by focusing on empathy, active listening, and genuine connection. This episode, produced by Mary Du, Anne Sani, and Hannah Bates, is just one of many resources available at hbr.org for those seeking insights from top business and management experts. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform.