About Face

I wanted to share a difficulty that I have been struggling with the last month and how I was able to manage some hard, even shameful emotions that came up for me. When my kids' father got sick and ended up in the hospital for the last month I had to accept my new role as a single mom, without the help of a co-parent.

In this episode I discuss the stages of grief I went through, including some anger and resentment that I was not proud of. I also discuss the shift I was able to make from fear and anger towards service, an old recovery tool that helped give me perspective on my loss and how I can focus my attention on the needs of others. 

Email me at kate@restoryatherapy.com

For more about my narrative work and to work with me: www.restoryatherapy.com

Art, exhibitions, and products: www.katemarlene.com

Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya
IG: @katemarleo

Love stories captivate all of us, but how do narratives of love influence how we date, make meaning, and tell our own stories? What do we look for in the love stories of our own lives and how do larger narratives about love influence how we pursue and experience romance?

In this episode, I interview Olivia de Recat, author, illustrator, and cartoonist for the New Yorker. Her book Drawn Together was named one of the best books of the Year by the New Yorker in 2022. This book was absolutely beautiful, truly hilarious, and a vulnerable look at romantic love stories in all shapes  It’s a collection of illustrated love stories, but also a kind of memoir that looks at Olivia’s relationship to love and relationships. I wanted to talk to her about her book, and how relationships are shaped by the love stories we know and tell.

Kate

IG @katemarleo

www.restoryatherapy.com

Find Olivia 

IG @drawingolive

www.oliviaderecat.com

Being sick can have a negative impact on our sense of self and mental well-being. Do you feel unproductive, unable to be a good parent, or isolated and lonely when you're sick? When we are ill, a myriad of stories, beliefs, and negative associations can surface. These stories can impact our sense of self and, in my case, even lead to questioning my ability to work or be a good parent, fostering self-doubt and blame.

To stop negative self-reflection during illness we must detach our identities and self-worth from the condition. It's about seeing the illness objectively, as something separate from who we are. Today, I want to share my story and offer insights that could provide support to anyone facing illness, whether it's a common cold, flu, or something more serious and chronic.

If you're interested in sessions with me you can book at www.restoryatherapy.com

Find me IG: @katerestorya

Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya Therapy

TikTok: KateMarlene

One of the greatest pains we will ever endure in life is heartache, either from a break-up, rejection, divorce, or the severance of a relationship. In this episode I talked with Janice Formicella, a break-up coach and host of the podcast, "Break-ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On." We talked about recovery from our own divorce and other break-ups, withdrawal after break-up, the power of no-contact, and how to use the pain of a break-up to fuel personal growth at any stage of life. We also talk about the power of narrative, understanding the self, and shifting our narratives around break-ups towards empowerment.  

Kate Marlene Leone is a narrative therapist and works with clients internationally. More information at www.restoryatherapy.com

IG: @katerestorya
TikTok: @katemarlene

If you leave a review, send me a screenshot and I have a small gift for you!

Almost exactly 20 years ago I got pregnant. I was still in college and my boyfriend at the time was getting ready to start a Ph.D. at Harvard. We had big life dreams, that for both of us, seemed inevitable, not to be disrupted by an unexpected pregnancy.

A couple years ago I met up with Jeremie when we were both in Paris and he agreed to let me record this conversation about what happened, our relationship, and how our lives were impacted. I want to clarify firstly, this is not an anti-abortion narrative, however it is a conversation about “what-ifs” and it’s something I would do regarding any large life decision as great as this one.

I have to say I was a bit shocked learning about his feelings at the time and even in hindsight. There were a lot of things we never said, until now, and I think the conversation reflects more broadly on middle-age look backs, life choices, and the way our perspectives and learnings can change over time.

Again, it’s a story about stories. The stories we tell, the stories we may have forgotten, and the stories of what-if.

*

About Face is produced by me, Kate Marlene and is part of my larger project, Restorya, a narrative therapy practice based in Berlin. 

If you are interested in booking a session with me, please go to www.restoryatherapy.com for more information about my work.

You can also follow me on Facebook at Kate/Restorya

Instagram: @katerestorya

TikTok: @katemarlene

Music from this episode is an intentional flashback by Modest Mouse, my favorite band in college. 

Any time we try to convince others of our truth and convictions we lose power. When I got divorced I heard a lot of rumors about myself-- I'm crazy, left my husband for a younger boyfriend, etc. This experience taught me a lot about how to stand in my own power and truth and to not let myself be vulnerable to the thoughts and opinions of others.

I got on a dating app in 2012 and met my now ex-husband. Now I have two German kids and I can't leave the country! On a bad day this really gets be down, however, it has taught me a lot about the power of reimagining possibility within the very real limitations of our lives and circumstances. This episode is for anyone who has felt held back back or "stuck" because of circumstances, past decisions, and the consequences of just living our lives. Reimagine your limitations with real hope, possbility, and space for growth. 

Last summer I got hypnotized for over two hours and I wanted to share about this experience as well as the relationship I found between narrative healing and subconscious imagery. In this episode I interview Marta Styczen about her hypnotherapy practice and we talk about my session, including the process of going under hypnosis, what it is really like, whether anyone is susceptible to hypnosis, what I learned, and how I found it to be such a powerful source of healing and information. While there was also a situation of what could be considered "past life regression," we also talked about the role of imagery, metaphor, and of course, narrative. 

I talk about how the session unlocked some early experiences, some painful, but also awakened some understandings for me around relationships with men, my past, and my current energies.

Marta shares about her Quantum Healing Hypnosis practice, the role of deep meditation, connecting with a higher self, and how she is self-recovered from schizophrenia. 

We also talk about how language itself is an artificial construct and is limited in communicating some messages and ideas and how the right side of our brain uses imagery to tell stories. 

For more information about Marta:

current location & session booking via website www.selfhealing.work or IG @marta.styczen.

Mental health advocacy projects: neurodivergencegallery.org & IG @neuro_gallery

Instagram: @restorya

FB: Kate Marlena-Restorya

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio.

Theme music by Kenichi and the Sun

Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way.

Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. That is to say that the human experience will inevitably involve pain: we will face hardship, loss, and eventually death, but the suffering that accompanies it will be of our own making. So, beyond the other Buddhist tenants of acceptance and impermanence, we can also look more practically at these attachment stories that really can exacerbate the suffering of our lives.

In this episode I share about my own experiences in the last month- a new lockdown, my daughter's brain surgery last month, getting served divorce papers, and losing my apartment. I share about how these experience triggered my old self narratives and how I was able to reconnect with other stories around love, connection, and self-empowerment. 

I used to think I could insulate myself against pain or hardship by doing the right thing or making "good decisions." When my daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain condition, I had to face my greatest fears of illness, vulnerability, and a total loss of control. In this episode I share about going through the transition from denying and fighting against hardship and how learning to accept difficult fates and struggles has taught me about connection, humanity, and empathy. 

This episode was inspired by an essay I wrote called, "The Things We Cannot Handle," originally published in Scary Mommy in 2017. 

If you are interested in learning more about narrative please check out my website www.restoryatherapy.com and feel free to book a session with me. 

You can find more content at Patreon and please consider subscribing to support my work. 

https://www.patreon.com/join/restorya

Email: kate@restoryatherapy.com
@restorya on Instagram
Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin

Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find here.

I hated the thought of being an addict or an alcoholic. I would often point to my external successes as a straight A student, a lawyer, having a good job and other markers of "well-being" to distract from my problem with alcohol, my depression, anxiety, and my pain. After going through recovery I've noticed that so many addicts are actually "successful" in many other areas of their lives. But, how is this narrative of success preventing them from getting help?

Today I am bringing you an interview that I did over the summer with Eilene Zimmerman who I first discovered after reading her viral article in the New York Times called, “The Lawyer, The Addict.”

I actually was doing my own research on this intersection between lawyers and addiction and this was a fascinating story about Eilene and her husband Peter, a high-powered attorney who died of a drug overdose, without her even knowing he had an addiction.

What is interesting to me about this story is the many ways that our cultural representations of addiction and drug and alcohol use mask the reality that these problems happen at every level of society and this rise of white collar addiction is actually a testament to some of the systemic issues arising from materialism, wealth, spiritual or emotional detachment and the pressure of career or financial success.

This interview is actually a conversation about her story and her book Smacked, which is currently being optioned for film by Elizabeth Moss and her film company Love & Squalor, who you might know from Madmen and The Handmaid’s Tale.

We talk about why attorneys have a propensity for addiction, co-dependency and marriage to an addict, and why the competition and conditioning of the legal profession is killing lawyers. Eilene also shares about her own trauma recovery, and how writing a memoir and her story helped her overcome grief, loss, and reclaim her sense of self.

Email: kate@restoryatherapy.com
@restorya on Instagram
Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin

Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find here.

I love gratitude lists, but I think sometimes the pressure to focus on the positive (and shaming for negative thinking) can be destructive. In this episode I want to share my experience with learning to acknowledge some of the challenges in my life, taking an honest approach to hardship. This is about self compassion and learning to get real when things kind of suck. 

Break-ups are HARD and the heartache can last years. This episode explores the relationship between self-identity and break-ups and why the pain is often because of the stories we tell ourselves about why things ended. Whether you left a 20 year marriage or you got ghosted after a few Tinder dates, this episode is for you. Kate explores four steps to narrative healing:

1- What stories are you telling yourself about the relationship or the break-up?

2- What stories are you telling yourself about YOURSELF? What power does this story have over you?

3- Challenge negative biases and beliefs around these stories.

4- Recall and remember the positive things you have learned, what you might take forward, and the strengths you showed during and after the end of a relationship.

This is one example of how narrative work can help in empowerment, self discovery, and personal transformation.

www.restoryatherapy.com

Insta: @restorya

Facebook: Kate Marlena- Restorya

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English-speaking podcast network of Berlin. 

Theme Music: Jeanne by Kenichi and the Sun from the album White Fire

Food is so basic and primal and yet so many of us suffer from disordered eating--why? This isn't about extreme cases of anorexia, bulimia, or overeating (though it could be), but the many little ways that we are tortured by food management, food restriction, and the disordered relationships we have with food because of personal, family, cultural and systemic narratives.

In this episode Kate talks with food psychology coach Laura Lloyd about the narratives we have about food, our bodies, and exercise. Do you suffer from disordered eating? Have a subconscious aversion to exercise? Do you hate team sports or think maybe you just "aren't that kind of person" to work out?

What conclusions have we drawn about food, our bodies, and exercise because of early childhood experiences? What narratives and messages have we inherited from our families of origin and culture? Do you have narratives about managing our food and weight? 

This episode also delves into larger narratives of food and our bodies and the role of capitalism, as a focus on production keeps us from having a sacred relationship with the food we eat. 

Laura Lloyd Coaching
www.lauralloyd.co/gift

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauralloydfoodpsychologysavvy

Kate Leone
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/restoryatherapy
Instagram: @restorya
To book a session contact me at restoryatherapy.com

When you think of the most important stories of your life, they are often about relationships. What stories you tell about yourself and your life often begin with family, parental bonds, siblings, and events that involved these important relationships. Whether you have strong bonds with your family or you have severed ties, you likely continue to have stories and narratives around your early life and how these relationships shaped who you are.

I met Aidan “Taco” Jones when he did a stand-up show in Berlin. Most of his bit was about how his Australian mother got pregnant while traveling in Columbia and how he never met his father until this past year. It was as hilarious as it was also heartbreaking and such an insight into his life and the role of humor in his personal growth and healing. 

This episode is about the stories of our childhood, how they shape our identity and sense of self, and how returning and uncovering some of these unattended stories can help us towards healing and understanding. We also talk about mixed race identity, cultural identity, being raised by a non-biological parent, and the importance of self-acceptance. 

Find Aiden here:

Podcast: Sitting Under a Tree

www.aidantacojonnes.com

Instagram: @aidanjonescomedy

If you’ve been a subscriber to the show, thanks for listening to About Face or Restorya and if you’re new, welcome. If you didn’t already know this, I am also practicing as a narrative therapist here in Berlin and clients abroad who want to reach me by Skype. Those sessions can be booked through my website at 

www.restoryatherapy.com

Find me on Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya

Insta: @Restorya

Please consider leaving me a review on iTunes. You’ve probably heard this a 100 x by every podcaster, but it truly helps! I really like to provide this content and will continue to do so but as a creator it would really help me out to continue to grow my audience.

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin

Our Theme music is the song Jeanne

JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from the upcoming Album "White Fire" to be released in September 2020