Husband Material

What does redemption look like for men who experience unwanted same-sex attraction? Harrison Bly grew up "too gay to be Christian, too Christian to be gay." In this episode, Harrison shares his story of freedom through vulnerability, sonship, brotherhood, and redefining masculinity.

Harrison Bly writes with a firm and unusual resolve about male sexuality. He uses story as a way to make sense of taboo subjects that are often over-simplified and misunderstood. Secretly gay in a conservative Christian world, Harrison compromised authenticity only to find shallow acceptance. On the crooked path to manhood, Harrison fumbled in the dark between ideologies on faith and homosexuality that failed to acknowledge his deepest wounds and longings. But through unplanned and unlikely relationships, Harrison discovered the transforming power of male love that reframed his obsessions, cravings, and curiosities, challenging everything he had come to accept about his masculinity and sexuality.

Buy Harrison's book here (this is a paid link):
Bent On Men: A Memoir On Taboo Feelings, Fraternal Curiosity, And Faith

Learn more at bentonmen.com

Join our upcoming live event on SSA & OSA friendship inside the Husband Material Community

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What does it look like to untangle unwanted same-sex attraction toward men? Harrison Bly grew up "too gay to be Christian, too Christian to be gay." In this episode, Harrison shares vulnerable stories from boyhood that shed light on why and how he sexualized masculinity.

Harrison Bly writes with a firm and unusual resolve about male sexuality. He uses story as a way to make sense of taboo subjects that are often over-simplified and misunderstood. Secretly gay in a conservative Christian world, Harrison compromised authenticity only to find shallow acceptance. On the crooked path to manhood, Harrison fumbled in the dark between ideologies on faith and homosexuality that failed to acknowledge his deepest wounds and longings. But through unplanned and unlikely relationships, Harrison discovered the transforming power of male love that reframed his obsessions, cravings, and curiosities, challenging everything he had come to accept about his masculinity and sexuality.

Buy Harrison's book here (this is a paid link):
Bent On Men: A Memoir On Taboo Feelings, Fraternal Curiosity, And Faith

Learn more at bentonmen.com

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

The word "purity" must be defined without the damaging messages of purity culture. In this episode, I'll explain 3 types of purity in the Bible. I'll also share a vulnerable story about my own lack of purity. Then at the end, I'll answer questions and clarify the true meaning of purity.

Free resources mentioned in this episode:

• Holiness - The Bible Project
• Five Failures Of Purity Culture
• Why Didn't I Like Vaginas?
• How To Measure Freedom From Porn
• What To Do When You See Attractive People
• ***How To Outgrow Porn (Intro To HMA)***

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How do you discover the deeper roots underneath surface-level sexual symptoms? Josh Glaser guides us in "tracking the heart," revealing where unwanted thoughts, feelings, and behaviors come from.

Josh Glaser is the Executive Director of Regeneration, a Christ-centered ministry equipping men and women to live God’s good, holy, and beautiful design for relationships and sexuality. He is the creator of Awaken, an online community and 48-week discipleship series for men pursuing sexual integrity.

Listen to Josh's podcast:
The Becoming Whole Podcast

Buy Josh's book (this is a paid link):
Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for Parents

Connect with Josh and his team of coaches:
regenerationministries.org/mens-coaching

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What should sex education look like in today's world? Adam and Karissa King explain why parents must teach children about sexuality from a young age—and how to make these conversations easy, effective, and even fun.

Adam + Karissa King are a licensed coach/therapist team and the founders of Dear Young Married Couple. They understand the pressure Christian parents feel to give their kids a godly understanding of sexuality. That's why they partnered with Korena Hendryx (a biology teacher and sex education expert) to create Having the TalkS: A Guided Conversation Game On Sexuality For Parents And Children.

More resources by Adam + Karissa:
Having The TalkS (because one just isn't enough)
The TalkS Resource Guide (recommended books)
Dear Young Married Couple Website
Dear Young Married Couple Podcast
Dear Young Married Couple Instagram

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Are you frustrated by internal conflict? Tired of being overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings? Kim Miller explains a Christ-centered approach to internal family systems (IFS). You'll learn the 5 steps of "taking a you-turn" so every part of you can encounter Jesus and be led by your Spirit-led self.

Kim Miller (MTh, LMFT) is a speaker, retreat leader, and co-author of Boundaries For Your Soul. She’s certified in Internal Family Systems Therapy and Imago Relationship Therapy.

Buy Kim's book (this is a paid link):
Boundaries For Your Soul: How To Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts And Feelings Into Your Greatest Allies

Download the free worksheet: Taking A You-Turn (5 Steps)

Learn more about Kim at kimberlyjunemiller.com

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

N is for Ninety Days
O is for Outgrow
P is for Plasticity
Q is for Questions
R is for Redemptive Risk
S is for Supernormal Stimuli
T is for Trauma & Traumasexuality
U is for Unwanted & Unwanted Workbook
V is for Vagus Nerve & Polyvagal Theory
W is for Worship (special playlist)
X is for Ex- (example breakup letter)
Y is for Yes!
Z is for Zero

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

In this episode, you'll learn 13 key concepts for outgrowing porn based on the first 13 letters of the alphabet. Check out the list below for further information about each key concept (including paid links):

A is for Alexithymia
B is for Breathing
C is for Co-regulation
D is for Dopamine
E is for Eroticized
F is for Fathering
G is for Group
H is for Holistic
I is for IFS
J is for Journey
K is for Knowledge
L is for Lust & Love
M is for Mindfulness

Next week, I'll cover the second half of the alphabet!

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How do I know if I was neglected? And what can I do about it? Stephen Thomas unpacks 6 types of neglect, why neglect fuels shame and addiction, and what we can do as we recognize ways we have been neglected.

Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has enjoyed freedom from porn and hookup culture for over 13 years. He is a Certified Husband Material Coach who provides coaching for individuals, couples, and groups. Stephen is passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them.

Contact Stephen Thomas:
Website: stephenthomasconsulting.com
Email: Stephen@stephenthomasconsulting.com
Phone: (847) 863-3106

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Heartache has a pattern, and so does healing. Author and therapist Cathy Loerzel explains the 3 types of heartache, and a powerful path to healing for each one. Learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy.

Cathy Loerzel founded the Allender Center with Dr. Dan Allender in 2010.
Together with Dan, she is the co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling (this is a paid link).

Connect with Cathy at cathyloerzel.com.

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is intimacy? How can I find it? Most intimacy is not sexual. Most intimacy is spiritual, social, emotional, mental, and physical. Learn why each type of intimacy matters, and how to experience each one without sex or porn.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Man Cards, by Drew Boa and Henry Brown
• The Feeling Wheel, by Gloria Wilcox
• The Eight Feelings, by Chip Dodd
• Husband Material Community

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Men are lonely. How can we develop deeper friendships?  Introducing Man Cards: a card deck of conversation starters for men designed by Drew Boa and Henry Brown. In this episode, Drew and Henry introduce Man Cards and show you how to use them.

Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com

Man Cards make it easier for men to go deep. Inside are 52 questions of varying levels of vulnerability to help you and the men around you be fully known. Cards are ranked, so men can choose how deep they want to go. Man Cards are perfect for small groups, road trips, or everyday conversations. Use them to improve your communication skills, get to know other men, and have fun while doing it! Stop hiding from others. Reveal the real you. Get your Man Cards!

Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com

Henry Brown is a ministry leader, AFOL (Adult Fan Of Lego), and moderator for the Husband Material Community.

Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):

• Man Cards: Conversation Starters For Men
• Sathiya Sam & Deep Clean
• The Beauty Of Elephant Seals
• The Five Love Languages
• Unwanted, by Jay Stringer
• Unwanted Workbook, by Jay Stringer with Drew Boa

Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

You'll never outgrow porn if you believe it's the problem. In this episode, Matt Dobschuetz explains why porn is a solution, and the surprising reason why one particular type of porn has appealed to him. This man overflows with kindness and hope!

Matt Dobschuetz is the host of Porn Free Radio, the top-rated podcast for motivated guys who want to quit looking at porn. Matt is a diehard Chicago Bears fan, a coffee enthusiast, and a lover of old-school hip hop. To learn more, visit Matt at recoveredman.com.

Buy Matt's new book here (this is a paid link):
Porn Free: Becoming The Type Of Man Who Does Not Look At Porn

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Do you ever wish your friends lived closer? In today's world, long distance friendship is more possible and pervasive than ever. What are the blessings and drawbacks of this? In this episode, Husband Material coaches talk about how to maximize authentic connection, both long distance and locally.

Join us for a weekend of beauty and brotherhood at the Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara (September 9-13, 2022). Sign up for the "Early Bird Discount" before July 9th to receive $150 off at husbandmaterial.com/retreat.

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is emotional maturity? How can we increase our emotional intelligence? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci explains the three components of emotional maturity, why men struggle to love, and what we can do about it.

Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP) and the author of a new book: Why Men Struggle To Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots.

More resources by Dr. Eddie Capparucci (these are paid links):

• Healing The Inner Child (Husband Material video course for Christian men)
• Removing Your Shame Label: Learning To Break From Shame And Feel God's Love
• Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
• Also check out Eddie and Drew's Going Deeper Workbook
• Learn more at innerchild-sexaddiction.com

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is the difference between sexual arousal and sexual desire, and why does it matter? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter powerfully explains this concept and why it is absolutely essential for outgrowing porn.

This episode is taken from our new course on Healing From Sexual Abuse. 

Learn more at husbandmaterial.com/healing-from-sexual-abuse 

Related episodes:

• How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
• What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Let me help you decide if “counting the days” is right for you. In this episode, you'll learn 2 bad reasons to count, 3 good reasons to count, and what works for me...

2 bad reasons: Legalism & License 

3 good reasons: Celebration, Compassion, & Curiosity 

What works for me? Listen to this episode to find out 😉 

If you loved this episode, you will probably love my book, Redeemed Sexuality. Buy it here (this is a paid link): Redeemed Sexuality: 12 Sessions For Healing And Transformation In Community.

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is centering prayer? How can it help us when we're triggered or preoccupied? In this episode, Matthew Lyda explains the 4 Rs of centering prayer: 

1. Resist no thought 
2. Retain no thought 
3. React to no thought 
4. Return to God

Matthew Lyda is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional and a poet. He is the author of Recover The Wild: Unfiltered Poems And Prayers (paid link). Matthew is also trained as a mental health & life purpose coach. Take Matthew's free 5-day course on centering prayer here.

Please join us for "An Evening of Centering Prayer" inside the Husband Material Community on Wednesday May 11, 2022 at 4:00 PM Pacific Time.

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How does the gospel interact with trauma? In this episode, Matt Wenger explains a Christ-centered and clinically innovative approach to healing trauma and outgrowing pornography.

Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues and their impact on faith. The program uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.

The next Boulder Recovery intensive is June 18th-July 2nd, 2022. Seats are limited. If you're interested, contact Boulder Recovery here.

Learn more about trauma-induced sexual addiction here (this is a paid link): TINSA: A Neurological Approach to the Treatment of Sex Addiction, by Dr. Michael Barta.

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What if you could become a loving older brother to your inner child? In this episode, you'll discover how to do this through Older Brother Coaching. 

Older Brother Coaching is my unique approach to healing the inner child, which has led to hundreds of breakthroughs for Christian men outgrowing porn. In this episode, you'll learn the three steps of Older Brother Coaching. Then at the end, I'll lead you through a guided meditation to experience it for yourself.

Resources mentioned (including paid links):

• Going Deeper: Understanding How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction, by Dr. Eddie Capparucci
• Altogether You: Experiencing Personal And Spiritual Transformation Through Internal Family Systems Therapy, by Jenna Riemersma
• Boundaries For Your Soul: How To Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts And Feelings Into Your Greatest Allies, by Dr. Alison Cook and Kimberly June Miller
• The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, by Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
• What If I Don't Remember Much Of My Childhood? (podcast episode), by Adam Young

This episode is a preview of Husband Material Academy (HMA), the all-in-one solution for Christian men outgrowing porn. If you loved this episode, you will love HMA...

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!