Keep Talking Revolution

This week on the podcast I share an interview I did with Vauna Byrd for her Joyful Family Talks Program.

We talk about:

•       How our fear and hesitation to speak up impacts our relationships
•       The unexpected ways that I learned how to approach my husband with my complaints and concerns
•       How I’ve learned to use my engineering skills to troubleshoot relationship challenges
•       Why therapy might not work
•       Where to start when you’re ready to change a relationship
•       The first boundary to set when you’re working on improving your boundaries
•       The problem with waiting for the right moment or searching for the right thing to say

Find out more about Vauna Byrd and her offers and programs at Vaunabyrd.com

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-76

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

The first question I asked Allyson on the podcast this week was, “What does it mean to lead with feminine energy and how is it empowering?”

Allyson shares:

• What feminine energy is and what it’s not
• Why men and women need both feminine and masculine energies
• How leading with feminine energy can help us to feel more present and fulfilled in our relationships

Get Allyson’s free gift: “Feminine and Masculine Energies at a Glance”

prosperityapproach.com/ataglance

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-75

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Every person who struggles with a difficult relationship wants to know what it really takes to save the relationship without losing themselves. Join me this week as I talk about what I have learned from my years of struggling with hostility and resentment in my marriage. And how we have gotten to the point where we can confidently work through any conflict.

Listen to this episode to learn:

• The difference between a healthy boundary and a grab for control
• The three questions I ask every client who wants to make their relationship better
• How to inspire your people to grow up and collaborate with you

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-74

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Do you find yourself overthinking what to say and how to say it in a hard conversation?

I'm releasing this bonus episode to walk you through my new free guide.

After I taught this recently at a women's retreat, one of the participants told me, "A few days after I learned this I had a conversation with my oldest daughter, that I could tell was not going to end well unless I changed something quick. I had the card right next to me and kept glancing at it to help keep me focused on listening and using the communication skills you taught.

"YAY!!! It worked!!!! So simple!!!

"Thank you so much!!!!"

Get the FREE GUIDE to follow along with the steps I share in this episode.

Is the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life” helpful or not? Today’s guest Arno Koch says “it depends.”

We do have a lot of influence on our partner’s happiness. And we have responsibility for how we feel.

Arno and I discuss the paradox of dependency in our romantic relationships, how we can support each other’s happiness, and what it means to depend on each other as relationships become more of a choice that we can choose to end any day.

More about Arno:

Website: https://imagine-evolution.com/about/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_arnokoch/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arno-koch 

More about Sharon:

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-73

Do you ever hesitate to bring something up because you’re afraid of getting sucked into another unproductive conversation?

In this episode, you’ll learn how to approach important conversations so that you can talk about what really matters, solve problems, and focus on creating connection and understanding instead of arguing, shutting down, or running away before the issue is resolved.

When you consistently follow the principles of productive communication and take responsibility for how you’re showing it gets a lot easier to disagree and discuss your differences.

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession 

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-72 

When you’re feeling frustrated in a relationship, it can be easy to assume that the problem is you. Maybe you’re just not lovable. At least not to your person.

This week’s guest Stacy Perry says that this type of thinking is not helpful. Instead, she suggests that believing you are lovable, just as you are, is the key to getting the relationship you want.

While some people may think that believing in your inherent lovability might make you overlook areas where you can grow, Stacy says that approaching yourself with an unshakeable sense of worthiness is the best way to overcome fear and frustration in your romantic relationships.

Info about Stacy:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stacyperrycoaching/

Website: https://www.stacyperrycoaching.com/

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Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-71

When I was 19 years old, I had a painful and tumultuous relationship that lasted about 8 months. Looking back, I can see that if I had known how to handle my disappointments in the moment I could have saved myself a lot of grief.

If I were to go back and coach my 19 year old self on how to handle these hard conversations, these five tips are what I would share.

1. Know your message
2. State your intention
3. Take responsibility
4. Assume positive intent
5. Start talking (and assume that it will be messy)

These tips work whether you’re dealing with a new situation that has just come up or an old familiar pattern that you’re ready to break.

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-70

Vauna Byrd thought that everything in her marriage was going great. She had three little ones and was starting to feel like she and her husband were more financially stable and secure. Then, the police showed up at her door and she discovered that her husband had been involved with a teenage girl. Everyone told her that divorce was her only option. But something inside of her encouraged her to hold on to hope. After a three-year separation - and lots of healing and growth - they reunited their family and started rebuilding their lives together.

Listen to the full episode to learn:

• How she handled the pressure to leave, 
• How she was able to heal and forgive, and
• What things are like now that this crisis is behind them

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-69.

We’ve all found ourselves in situations where we feel like we’re losing in our relationships. And maybe we feel a little bit better when we tell ourselves, “That’s OK. If someone’s going to suffer it might as well be me.” Or even, “That’s OK. I’ll get my turn next time.”

These are examples of win/lose mindsets and over time this approach compromises our ability to really connect with the people that we love.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Three types of win/lose scenarios that are common in relationships
• Why choosing a win/lose position is harmful
• What you can do to shift toward more win/win scenarios
• When you might want to choose a win/lose position

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-68

What does it mean to live life on purpose, how do we do it, and what happens when we do it?

Lara Johnson joins me on the podcast to talk about how to live a more joyful life even when the day-to-day things haven’t necessarily changed. It all starts with discovering your purpose - who you really are - and then living it.

Lara shares a few great questions to help you discover your purpose. You can get her free worksheet download along with info on how to connect with Lara on the episode webpage.

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-67. 

What if you stopped worrying about the possibility of saying the wrong thing and instead learned how to recover from the inevitable communication mis-steps that come along with being human?

You can learn a lot from conversations that don’t go the way you’d like them to, which is why I believe it’s impossible to say the wrong thing.

So, instead of focusing on trying not to say the wrong thing, why not focus on saying what’s true and vulnerable? Speaking up gives you a chance to be real with people and that’s what creates real trust and connection in your important relationships.

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-66

One of the quickest ways to feel less stuck in a relationship is to evaluate how you're defining success. If your success is dependent on how the other person responds to you, whether you can convince them or get them to respect your boundaries, you're often going to feel frustrated and unsuccessful. If however, you redefine success to mean that you are satisfied with how you are showing up when things aren't going the way you want them to, then you have complete control over your success.

View all the resources mentioned and the full shownotes at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-65.

Have you ever tried to help someone that was being really resistant to your help?

You can see what they need and how you can help them, but they don’t really see or appreciate what you have to offer.

And when you keep trying to help someone who is resisting your help, it can create a lot of tension in the relationship.

Helping someone change something about themselves is very delicate territory, and it’s pretty easy to cross the boundary between being helpful and being controlling or superior.

In this episode, I share three elements of truly helpful behavior...the trademarks of the True Spirit of Helpfulness.

Did this episode resonate with you? Would you like to dive deeper into something you heard here? Schedule a session and get links to the full shownotes and resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-64.

Have you ever caught yourself asking your partner for permission to do something? Or have you found yourself trying to convince them to see something your way so that they will go along with your plan?

Maybe you’ve received some feedback that paints you in a negative light and you’re catching yourself ruminating over whether or not the feedback is warranted and how to get that person back on your side.

These are all signs that you’re seeking validation, and these behaviors can get in the way of your ability to connect and communicate effectively.

It’s such an interesting paradox how validation is such a connecting force in our relationships while seeking validation creates so much disconnection.

The best antidote for the disconnection created by seeking validation is to practice self-validation. I teach my clients a three-step exercise for self-validating.

1. Acknowledge - Name what you are feeling
2. Allow - Remind yourself that it's OK to feel any emotion
3. Understand - Create a context that explains what you are feeling

Do you struggle to give feedback, even when your feedback could help someone address an important issue?

Or, is it harder to receive feedback...especially when that feedback isn't given in a careful and considerate way?

Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-62

Women often have a lot on their plates. Too much most of the time. And often, it feels like a losing battle to ask for some help.

In this episode, I share four do's and don'ts for creating a more balanced and supportive relationship. 

Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-61

Sometimes the communication dynamics that we grew up with are so familiar to us that we don't recognize how unhealthy they are. One of these dynamics is what I call "should-ing."

You can tell that you're "should-ing" on someone when you've already thought of several reasons why this person "should" believe or behave the way that you do before you start a conversation with them.

Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-60

I started hearing people use the word “surrender” a couple of years ago and I thought to myself, who wants that?

I see myself as a confident and assertive woman and surrender feels weak and disempowering.

For a while, I’ve been thinking there must be something that I’m missing here. Because people I really respect are finding value in surrender…so what is it?

Listen to this short episode on the differences between control and surrender to learn just how empowering it can be to let go and trust the process.

Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-59

So often, we feel stuck before we even have the conversation because we’re trying to figure out the right words to say. But saying the right words isn’t what makes a conversation go smoothly. It’s more about what’s beneath the words we say that really matters. Listen to this episode to learn what three things are most likely to cause you communication problems and what you can do instead.

Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-58.