Keep Talking Revolution

https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/podcast/b/ep-96Everyone knows that ultimatums are bad right? Not necessarily.

In today's episode, we're exploring when an ultimatum can be just what's needed to move a relationship forward and how you can know if you're communicating in a way that will damage your relationship or make it better.

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Connect with Sharon

• Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
• Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
• Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
• Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact

Join me on June 16th for "The Needy No More Workshop: How to communicate your needs without being needy or demanding." This workshop is about transforming how we discuss and fulfill our needs in our marriages. It's not a transaction; it's an opportunity to demonstrate generosity and support each other's well-being.

Sign up by June 15th at needynomore.com

One thing all good problem solvers do well is this: they know which problem to focus on to get the most out of their problem-solving efforts.

But, how do you know what the "right" problem is to solve? 

In this episode of the Keep Talking Revolution podcast, we discuss:

1. What kinds of problems are always a problem
2. The difference between shame-based problems and dream-based problems
3. The importance of focus and celebrating small wins when you're tackling tough relationship issues

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Connect with Sharon

• Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
• Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
• Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
• Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact

Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered if you missed something important when you started your relationship? Did you miss a red flag, and if so what now?

Dr. Yael Dubin offers a different perspective on these common "red flags" and instead offers the perspective that this may just be the trailhead of your healing journey.

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Connect with Dr. Yael Dubin

• Your Personality and You Workbook: Exercises to Better Understand Yourself and Who You Want to Be
• Bechira Coaching Website
• Social Media Links
• Five Keys To Finding Lasting Love free pdf
• Mindful Dating Women’s Group

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Connect with Sharon

• Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
• Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
• Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
• Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact

Do you often feel overwhelmed with everything on your plate? Your spouse wants to help, but deciding what needs to be done, when it happens, and how to do it is still your job.

In this episode, I'm talking about how to overcome this dynamic of parenting your spouse so that the help you're getting is actually helpful.

We talk about:

• How to recognize when you're parenting your spouse
• Two things to stop doing, and two things to start doing to move toward a more equitable partnership
• How to respond when you've been playing to your partner's demands for too long and you're ready to create a more equitable & intimate relationship

Resources Mentioned:

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky: https://amzn.to/3KKWUMK

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Connect with Sharon

• Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
• Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
• Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
• Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact

Nobody talks about what to do when you love your partner, but you don't really like him. And when they do, the advice they offer is not particularly helpful.

In this episode of the podcast, I want to normalize the idea that it's OK to not like your partner all the time. And, there are things that you can do to not stay stuck in that state of what Terry Real calls "normal marital hatred."

If you don't relate to the idea of not always liking your partner, this episode is not for you. But, if you find yourself feeling like you're a little bit happier when he's not around listen below for some ideas of how to get out of your funk and back to a more peaceful coexistence.

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Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-90

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

What do you do when an important conversation doesn't go your way?

Do you give up, get angry, or tell yourself the issue isn't that important? Or, do you figure out what went wrong and try something different?

In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing how to recover from a difficult conversation, which is an important aspect of avoiding unproductive arguments and resolving ongoing conflict. Listen to learn more about how you can reflect on what happened and try something different.

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Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-89

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

It's easy to get sucked into an unproductive argument if you aren't prepared for it.

Learn the two big mistakes that lead to unproductive arguments and how to navigate around them so you can work through your challenges without losing your cool or getting shut down.

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Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-88

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

It's becoming more and more common that the standard for a good marriage is intimacy, not longevity.

How do you make the shift to a more intimate marriage after you've been hurt, rejected, or just slipped into the daily monotony of life, kids, and careers?

Listen to this episode for three tips to increase intimacy in your marriage and the one truth about intimacy that will help you move forward even when you aren't sure what your next step should be.

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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-87

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

How do you maintain intimacy in a long-term relationship?

This can be such a loaded question. But it's an important question. Because now, more than ever, couples want more than just a relationship based on sharing the responsibilities of taking care of a family plus sex in acceptable intervals.

Family life educator Amberly Lambertson joins us on the podcast to talk about some natural and comfortable ways to enhance your physical and emotional connection with your partner.

I ask her:

• How do you define intimacy and why is it important to know what it means?
• How do physical and emotional intimacy work together? 
• What can couples do to improve their physical and emotional connection?
• How can couples work on their physical intimacy outside the bedroom?
• What advice do you have for women who feel like all physical affection comes with an expectation for sex?

Follow Amberly Lamberston on Instagram at @aprioritizedmarriage and @daviscountydates

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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-86

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

Following up on last week's episode on differentiation, Sharon talks about some of her experiences working through mismatched expectations and conflict over household responsibilities in her marriage.

She shares:

• How being the "golden child" set her up for a habit of over-functioning in marriage
• How she focused on her own growth and personal work, even when Mario's behavior was unacceptable
• What's on the other side of the long and painful journey of making room for yourself in a marriage where you once felt exploited and unappreciated

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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-84

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
• Get the book "Everything Isn't Terrible" https://amzn.to/3JqpzHM

Not all couples therapists agree on the right way to resolve marital conflict​

Traditionally the idea has been that taking a more accommodating stance will improve the relationship. But often, the pressure to accommodate each other can limit our growth and get in the way of true intimacy and satisfaction. 

If you want a relationship where you feel truly seen, heard, and valued as an individual first you have to become a whole person. And then you have to have the courage to be that whole person in the face of someone who might not like or agree with you.

That's the basis of differentiation.

MFT student Brooke Rasmussen joins us on the Keep Talking Revolution podcast to talk about:

• What differentiation means in marriage and family systems
• Why a relatively peaceful marriage can feel stale or dead
• How facing your anxiety in your relationships and becoming stronger from it is the key to a satisfying and fulfilling marriage

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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-84

More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

If I were to give you my best advice about relationships and whether or not now is the time to put a lot of effort into your relationship development, this is the main question I would ask… “Would you be able to continue with how things are right now indefinitely?”

If the answer is no (which it has been for me several times over the course of my 10-year marriage) this episode is for you.

In this episode of the Keep Talking Revolution Podcast, we're talking about how to set practical and inspiring relationship goals. We discuss...

• Why you might hesitate to set a goal, especially a relationship goal.
• Three questions to help you discover a goal that is both practical and inspiring.
• What to consider when you're making a plan that will keep you moving forward in a positive direction.
• Two big mistakes to avoid when you're working on goals that involve people who matter the most.
• What might get in the way of your goal and how to recognize your "competing commitments."

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-83

More about Sharon:

• Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
• Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
• Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
• Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x

A year end wrap up for the Keep Talking Revolution Podcast. We talk about the Respected + Connected program, what I’ve learned in my business and how it impacts my personal life, popular episodes and posts, and what’s coming in 2023.

Schedule a 15-minute call to apply to join Respected + Connected by January 6th: respectedanconnected.com

Listen to this year’s most popular episode: keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-65

Join the conversation about why we need to stop blaming moms for raising entitled sons: https://www.instagram.com/p/CYUTnODr4ht/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link 

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-82

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Have you ever read a marriage book that came highly recommended to you and it just fell flat?

Maybe you start to wonder “what’s wrong with me…or what’s wrong with us that this thing that has been so helpful for someone else isn’t working for us?”

Today on the podcast I’m talking about a very popular and often misused marriage book.

I’m going to tell you why I think it’s so popular, when I think it’s useful, how it can be misused, and most importantly – how to love your partner better even if you don’t know their love language. 

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-81

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

RESPECTED AND CONNECTED IS CURRENTLY OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT. Find out more and schedule a free 15-minute call to apply at respectedanconnected.com.

This week on the podcast, Sarah George shares her experience participating in the Respected + Connected program and how it’s changed her marriage.

Sarah shares:

• How she’s learned how to communicate with her husband in a more honest and unscripted way
• How the weight of having to know the right thing to say and the right time to bring things up has been lifted off her shoulders
• How having a target to shoot for makes it easier to stay on course, and get back on track
• How letting go of the need to control the conversation has helped her feel more validated and connected

We can assume so much about our people, especially when we have known them for a long time. But it can be so helpful to to let go of what we expect, speak up honestly, and let a conversation unfold naturally.

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-80

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

When a relationship feels like too much work the advice to “keep working on yourself” can feel dismissive and insensitive.

In this episode, we talk about what to do when working on a relationship feels like rowing a boat with one oar and how to keep up your end of the deal without overdoing it.

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-79

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Liliam Llanos is a trauma resolution coach who works with individuals on trauma resolution and trains other coaches and practitioners in scientific approaches to trauma resolution. 

Working on trauma resolution has helped Liliam feel a sense of optimism for the future and stability in her day to day life. But before she could even do the work of trauma resolution, she had to recognize that what she was experiencing was a trauma response. With this knowledge and understanding of what was happening, she was able to learn how to revisit these memories and rewire her brain to have a healthier and more productive response.

We discuss how to recognize when you’re having a trauma response and some tips to resolve and rewire your responses.

Find Liliam Llanos on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/innergymaster

Schedule a free call with Liliam: https://bit.ly/FreeCallwithLiliam

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-78

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution

Trauma can make relationships tricky, particularly when we depend on those who hurt us to be part of our healing. If traumatic experiences are making it difficult to feel safe and connected with the people you care about, this episode is for you. I share a few non-expert insights on trauma, healing, and finding security and peace even when the people who hurt us aren’t able to comprehend their impact on us.

Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-77

More about Sharon:

Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements

Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession

Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution