Mistress Wellbeing

EnglishHow many of us have blocked our creative flow because of a negative experience decades ago?

The singing teacher who told you to mouth the words.
The art teacher who told you cows weren't green.
The English teacher who pulled apart your essay.

Today I'm inviting you to rekindle your own unique creative flow, because it is a deep store place of wellbeing.

Self-expression in any form can be expansive, uplifting and exciting, when we can work with awareness through the deeply held, negative beliefs which hold us back.

How much time do you spend in solitude, silence and stillness?

I don't spend much. In fact I've been actively seeking community over the last few years.

But when I do allow myself to get quiet, something happens where I feel more connected to my Self and to Nature.

It's a quandary because stillness always invites the messy bits of my life to emerge front and centre.

 I can't hide from the difficult emotions of sadness, grief, and guilt in the quiet. But I know there's a sweet spot on the other side of them.

 Come explore solitude with me today.

I’ve had a growing epiphany over the last few months about the effort required to create joy. 

Joseph Campbell is famous for saying,
“Follow your bliss”, and I took it to be simple and easy. 

It’s not. 

It takes effort, will, determination and often the ability to work through dark emotions like despair, frustration and doubt. 

I guess that’s why Campbell also wrote so much about the hero’s journey. 

So today, join me as we journey through what it takes to find your bliss and how you might make those first steps.

This is not a new age meme. 

It’s highly practical, logical and very real. 

Stay with me!

Would you like to unlock a secret way to make shift happen in your life?

Start visualising what you want with feeling and engagement. Really bring it to life. In your mind. 

Because your thoughts and feelings are powerful creators of reality. 

So next time your mind wants to slide into worry, regret and fear, stop.

 Imagine the opposite, the outcome you could only dream about, and build that possibility in your mind. 

Make it a practice and watch your life change towards the reality you set for yourself. 

Sometimes comfort zones are not so comfortable.

They're just familiar.

It's easy to go on in an uncomfortable, familiar way for years and even decades, but when you look back there might be sadness, regret, anger or resentment.

Today I'm exploring my own recent transformation, shedding parts of my life which had become heavy and uncomfortable, embracing new, lighter ways of being, and giving myself permission for more joy.

After all, my life is about me as well as other people!

How do you do life?

How do you show up most of the time?

Our Psyche is an interesting, complex thing which yearns for integration and wholeness, and today I'm exploring the concept of 'parts'.

It is liberating to recognise that I choose to show up as the caring doctor most of the time, but there are other parts of me longing for expression. 

Integrating all aspects of the self is a lifelong, rewarding process which you can start right now!

I used to feel that I was indelibly stamped with sadness and grief.
I didn't even know where it had sprung from.
All I knew was a deep pain and the shame that accompanied it.

This is what I hear from my clients very often, and as I reflect on my twenty years as a therapist, it's clear that my healing was  linked  directly to the healing of my clients.

When I started the long journey of healing - which is never finished- and realised what my story offered me, I opened to its richness and understood this counterintuitive notion that my woundedness was my giftedness.

The metaphor of the lotus rising through mud helps us understand our situation, and to seek the cool water, which is the right condition for flourishing.

I used to power on at the expense of my wellbeing all the time.

 I was handy with a mental whip to lick myself into shape and get the job done.

But here's the thing.

My productivity was poor when I engaged in this behaviour because at its core was self denial and harshness.

It was a barren desert.

Thankfully, the last twenty years have taught me so much about self compassion, and how to become more creative and productive while also enjoying the journey.

Find out how to be kind and joyful while powering to the top with this mindset shift.

Each of us formulates a set of unconscious 'rules' or beliefs about ourselves and the world, which shape behaviour and, ultimately, the outcome of our lives.

Here's a powerful experiment for you to try at home, to release yourself from the limiting beliefs about yourself and the way you show up in the world.

If you want to unhook from rigidity and desensitisation, and build more lightness, joy and fun in life, this exercise is a great start.

How do you shift from lack to abundance?

It's easier than you  think, and it has nothing to do with physical things.

It's a mental attitude first, and the things come second.

Join me to explore abundance mindset, and try a short guided visualisation at the end which will support your shift from lack to plenty.

Does anxiety blight your life? It can take hold like a weed and build momentum so easily.

Today, I have a powerful anxiety interruption tool to share with you.

Anxiety is like allowing what you don't want to grow and flourish in your mind and consequently, in your life.

But it also gives you a clue about what you DO want!

I'll bet what you want is the exact opposite of what you worry about, so here's the hack.

When you notice yourself worrying, stop and ask, 'What is it I want?'

Now repeat what you want in the present tense as if it's actually happening.

There's your mantra, and if you use it every time you worry, life will unfold differently.

How life evolves is a direct expression of our feelings, beliefs, and thoughts.

That's a scary idea!

Especially as our conscious mind only contributes to 5% of what we feel, believe and think.

What I think of as 'Me' is just the tip of the iceberg Freud described, and underneath is the greater 95% of the unconscious mind.

This is where conditioning from our life experiences resides, in ideas which rarely rise to the surface of conscious awareness, yet influence everything from our attitude to money to our day-to-day health.

And not just our experiences live here.

Also, the experiences from at least three generations before us have taken up residence and are impacting the way our contemporary life unfolds.

Interested?

I am, because these epigenetic changes in our DNA which affect gene expression and give rise to the stories we tell ourselves can shift when we work with them.

I refer you to Mark Wolynn's excellent book, 'It Didn't Start With You', which is eminently readable and may just change your life.

So today on the pod I'm exploring this idea, and giving you some tools to work with this unconscious imprinting so you can liberate yourself from the limiting beliefs and stories from the past.

I've been practising yoga at home for the past three months, and today I'm exploring the variety of ways this can support you.

During lockdown, I completed a 200 hr yoga teacher training and I teach on my retreats and one to one. 

 I really enjoy teaching, and have created my unique way to create classes which support inward turning and reflection, while moving the body through poses which allow it to decompress.

The after effects of yoga never cease to amaze me!

I feel calm and energised, centered and still, strong and balanced.

So today I'm exploring how my home practice has become a varied delight to suit how I'm feeling and what I need each day.

Between meditation, mantra, pranayama, yin, restorative and vinyasa, there's a lot to choose from, so let's dive in and see how a home practice might support you too!

Are you holding onto an identity that no longer serves you?

Often it's a part of your identity which has taken a lot of time, effort and money to win.

Like me with my Medical Registration.

 I graduated in 1987 and I've been registered as a doctor ever since.

Till now.

The time is upon me to release this part of my life, so that other, new, exciting opportunities can flood in.

 Today I'm exploring how to do this with self compassion and kindness, so that life can flow and emerge organically in the true direction of your desire.

Have you ever become really excited about an idea for a creative project, a business, a holiday, or an adventure, and then come crashing down because it all becomes too overwhelming?

It's a thing, and I call it, 'The Speed Wobble'.

Today I'm exploring this phenomenon and how to ground yourself so that the speed wobble doesn't derail your excitement and drive.

Because when you can hold the energy of excitement in your body, you can do great things!

Knowing how to ground your energy will support you to have those wild ideas and take them to fruition, so you can be all you may be.

🔸 Don't Be a Hostage of Your Mind 🔸

 I often find my mind chasing what I desire and avoiding what I fear, causing a lot of suffering.

 I want to break free from this cycle and experience peace, love, and joy, but my mind is very persistent!

It's programmed to seek pleasure, attaching itself to what I like, and trying to avoid anything unpleasant. It's like being trapped in a loop of craving and aversion, where I never feel satisfied, and really, there is no peace.

When I allow my desires and fears to rule my mind, it creates a sort of "hell realm" within me, where I miss out on fully experiencing life. I end up burdened by unfulfilled desires and unsubstantiated fears.

Psychotherapy is a powerful way to understand this judgemental, grasping, unsatisfied nature of mind and gently stepping away from its grip. 

If you want to break free from the mind's stronghold, gain clarity, and experience profound tranquility and confidence, psychotherapy can be a powerful step on the journey.