Mistress Wellbeing

I want more connection in my life, and I'm taking steps to make that happen.

Good quality connection.

Where we come together around a common cause or interest.

Where everyone is present and engaged.

Where there is an excitement about creating growth.

Because something is afoot in our society, which is creating isolation. The loneliness epidemic is upon us. Australia and the UK now have a minister to tackle it.

Lack of social connection is the new smoking.

It carries a greater health hazard than smoking 15 cigarettes a day and can decrease life expectancy by 15 years.

Join me on the podcast and in the Facebook group, Creating Vibrant Happiness for Midlife Women

The road to success is up and down, not a straight line.

Today I'm sharing a little about my process in the lead up to tomorrow's webinar.

How I've had to really stay 'present at the edge' with my anxiety and use the breath to turn it into excitement.

I've forced myself into this interesting, alive place between my critic and my inner mentor for the past two weeks and it feels awake, alive, stretched, and exciting.

I feel I'm growing and glowing!

I've also started a private Facebook group called,

'Creating Vibrant Happiness for Women in Midlife'. 

Do come over and join me there.

Here's the link to the webinar,

Welcome back to Mistress Wellbeing for another year of adventure, growth, and connection.

Last weekend I attended a Dao Cultivation meeting and was interested to find much of the teaching echoed the journey of psychotherapy I experience with my clients.

So today, I'm exploring the concepts shared in the teaching about how we are tempered by difficult emotions and challenging experiences.

This speaks to the heart of my beliefs about my work. 

That challenges are actually gold dust for learning, growing and finding peace, contentment and inner calm.

That we all have access to a true self, a bigger self, the Big S Self that Jung described, beyond ego.

Why do this work?

Because being a better human means less suffering for you and for everyone you encounter!

Emotions can seem messy and overwhelming.

Better kept at bay and preferably never seeing the light of day.

Emotional expression can feel a little like washing your dirty linen in public.

But keeping ourselves in an emotional straitjacket has consequences which I'm exploring today, along with some tips about how to access emotion safely and create stability in your system so it can allow emotions to pass through. 

Emotions last 30-90 seconds when they arise, yet we spend a lifetime defending against them.

So today, let's jump in and start the process!

(Please note that extreme trauma is the exception, where expression can re-traumatise, and this needs to be held much more tightly.)

How many times do I hear this from the mouths of amazing women?

"I should stay small, in the background, looking after others and not expect recognition for my work".

It's a common belief that stems from conditioning in family, religion and culture, and it leads to resentment, anger and burnout.

So, what to do?

It's counterintuitive to ask you to step into your magnificence when this belief is rampant.

But what if we changed the narrative, chewed up the concepts and rearranged them?

Today I'm exploring this, and the multiple polarities of staying small, being good, and unseen.

This may seem controversial, but your happiness is right next to you, waiting to be seized.

The thing is, it gets drowned out by the incessant negativity bias of our minds, and the ease with which we reach out for not enough, not good enough and not ok.

So today we will explore exactly how to reach out for that deep wellspring of joy which is literally at your fingertips.

You can build this muscle over time and it will take you to a much better place!

Imagine having a deep river of contentment available to you.

Imagine feeling wholly ok about yourself, your life, your kids.

Imagine being relieved of the not ok, not enough, not good enough, just for five minutes a day!

It's a gift and it's waiting for you to unwrap it, so I hope today's episode lands for you!

I've had a heck of a year in 2022.

Six friends have passed away unexpectedly, and it's sent me on a deep dive into how to make sense of death.

Today I'm talking about the Top Five Regrets of the Dying, a book by Bonnie Ware.

I know it sounds a little maudlin, but actually, death has made me plunge wholeheartedly into life, taking risks and finding courage to launch my biggest rockets of desire.

The Provence retreat 2023 is happening thanks to these experiences, and I now have a group of amazing women to take on a 10 day retreat in Provence next May.

That's what I call living!

If you want to join us, there is one place remaining and the early bird rate expires today!

Who's been to Provence?

It's an amazingly beautiful place, also full of history, art, food, and perfume. Nice has the second most museums in France after Paris.

I'm taking a small group of remarkable women on retreat in May 2023, and I would love one of them to be you! So if you'd like to know more, this episode is for you.

Today I'm talking about my love affair with France, and explaining how the concept of a French wellbeing retreat started and has expanded.

I go into detail about what to expect from a French adventure and 'inventure', where we will explore the fabulousness of the region while also taking a deep dive into what impedes joy and how to cultivate it.

I plan my retreats so you come home with a healthy routine to fit into your everyday life, lots of wellbeing tools to maintain your momentum, as well as the memories of an amazing adventure in the south of France.

Let the adventure begin!

Have you ever looked back over your life to realise that the slightest event changed the path you took?

It can be quite humbling, especially when I realise that a few people and experiences have been so instrumental in altering the course of my life.

Today I'm telling the second part of my life story. There were some fabulous, exciting times, and some difficult, sad times. 

All of them required courage and support, and allowing life to flow around me as much as trying to chart my trajectory.

I know it's useful to hear the experiences of others. It often gives permission to live according to your own true north.

I hope this episode works that way for you.

We often vilify psychotherapy as being 'navel gazing'.

I've heard that a few times! 'I don't have time to wallow in the past.'

But Gestalt therapy works powerfully to explore how the past shows up in the present, and how it continues to impact thought and behaviour negatively unless we intervene with awareness.

Today I'm sharing the first part of my life story, because I'd like you to know me better, and also because it's a beautiful way to show how beliefs arise and persist.

Psychotherapy can release these past creative adjustments, which served very well at the time but have outgrown their usefulness.

You have an internal guidance system which directs you towards a life that lights you up.

I call it my sparkle. It's like an exciting little flame that lets me know when I'm on the right path in life.

When difficult things happen, loss, diagnoses, or the anxiety of living out of alignment with your sparkle,there is a way to allow the process and find change.

That's what I'm describing today, the cocooning process which allows you to listen to your true self, your guide, your inner voice.

Recorded in Bali the week after my Finding Your Joy retreat, this episode is inspired by the time we spent together in group.

In the lead up to Bali I had an internal dialogue about creating a 'manifesto' and managing every moment of our week... or not.  

My fear told me to organise, while some bigger part of me reasoned, 'You have everything you need. Be transparent, respond to what arises, feel into the group and give them what they need.'

Happily I trusted my gut feeling Instead of giving in to fear, and what arose was a deep understanding of how safety leashes potential, leading to genius and growth.

I'll be back in Bali with a retreat in October 2023, places are limited so get in touch now if you would like to join me. 

I’m on a pre-retreat in Bali, and I spent the morning having a full body massage. 
I didn’t feel particularly stressed to begin with but I make it my practice to have a massage every day. 

The effect always surprises me, as if my body is holding onto stress like a magnet holds paper clips, effortlessly, unconsciously. 

So I started thinking about the healing power of deep rest, the ‘Bali Glow’ we all take on after a week of group connection, yoga, singing and massage. 
The surprising thing is just how much stress floats about in my body even when I feel relatively relaxed!

Yin yoga has taught me during the pandemic just how relaxed I can get, and how good that is for my mood and my body.

Today is all about the healing power of deep relaxation.