Parenting Paused

This week let's talk about something that's been on my mind lately - the idea of children being "behind."

It's easy to get caught up in the comparison game, especially in today's fast-paced world. You see other kids hitting milestones, excelling in various areas, and you sometimes wonder if your own child is "keeping up."

But here's the thing - every child is on their own path. They bloom at their own pace, like beautiful flowers in a garden. Some may walk early, while others take their time, but it doesn't determine their worth or potential.

So, if you ever find yourself wondering if your child is "behind," take a deep breath and remember that all children are unique and they're exactly where they need to be. By coming along side your child and supporting their wisdom you will be able to support the incredible individuals they already are.

Parenting is a journey of love, growth, and discovery. It's a constant learning process, and one lesson that's been on my mind lately is being mindful of our own expectations when it comes to our children.

It's only natural to have dreams and hopes for our kids. We want them to thrive, to find their own happiness, and to lead fulfilling lives. However, it's important to pause and reflect on whether these hopes align with our child's true desires.

It's essential that we give them the space and support to explore these without imposing our own aspirations onto them.

Let's all take a moment to reflect on our own expectations and ensure we're providing a space for our children to blossom into their authentic selves. Together, we can raise a generation of strong, confident, and uniquely beautiful individuals.

Finding the right level of self-control in parenting is like being the captain of a ship, guiding it through both calm waters and occasional storms. It's important to create a safe and nurturing environment internally which supports growth and independence outside.

On this week's podcast you will discover how the feeling of powerlessness leads to over-compensating, giving you the illusion of control, and how to relax back and open to a greater knowing.

Parenthood is an incredible rollercoaster ride, filled with highs and lows that shape us into the parents we are today. One aspect we all encounter on this journey is regret. It's okay to admit that there are moments we wish we could redo or regret decisions we'd make differently.

Let's not shy away from regret, but rather, face it head-on with compassion, exploration and an open heart. Could you discover both the benefits and drawbacks that come along with each regret?

Discover how to Release Regret on this week's Parenting Paused Podcast.

Do you ever feel like you're trying to control your kids' behavior with strategies you learned from others, just to attain peace within yourself?

Have you ever wondered if there's a better way to handle those moments of discomfort?

In this episode, we'll explore these questions and more. Explore how to shift your focus from external control to inner peace through the foundational tool at Purejoy called "The SafeSeat".

Discover how recognizing your internal disturbance leads to a more harmonious family life.

Are you struggling to find moments of relaxation in the chaos of parenthood? 

Do you constantly feel the need to keep up with the never-ending to-do list? 

Do you ever wonder if you're truly present with your kids, or are you always chasing the next task? 

This week on Parenting Paused, let's dive deep into the art of relaxation and being present. Are external voices and expectations drowning out your authentic parenting journey? 

Join us as we explore slowing down, embracing the moment, and rediscovering your own rhythm in parenthood.  Let's shift from living someone else's life to fully experiencing your unique journey as a parent. 

Listen, now.

As a mom who's been on this wild parenting journey for 23 years now, I know the struggles and challenges we face in raising our kids. But here's the thing: I've realized that much of my early parenting was influenced by deep-seated conditioning and personal stories I carried with me. 

In this week's episode of "Parenting Pause," I'm delving into the profound concept of consciousness and conditioning. How often have we taken things personally, only to realize that these reactions stem from our past experiences and learned beliefs? 

I'll share my own journey of breaking free from the "I'm not important" narrative and how it impacted my relationship with my daughter. 

Join me as we explore the doorways to a deeper level of consciousness, where we can embrace the wisdom of the present moment and truly understand our needs and our children's needs. 

Tune in to this week's episode, and let's start rewriting our parenting narratives together.

Let's talk about those tricky behaviors our little ones might exhibit. Instead of labeling them as "acting out" or just normal behavior, it's time to see them for what they truly are: symptoms. 

 Think about it this way - when we focus solely on solving the symptom itself, we often forget to dig deeper and address the root cause behind it. It can be tempting to tame their negative actions because society tells us good behavior is everything... but let me tell you a secret. 

 Every hit or bite from your kiddo? Yep, that right there is simply a symptom – an expression of something bigger going on underneath the surface. So here's my challenge for all you amazing parents out there: instead of getting caught up in trying to control these symptoms externally, how about empowering yourselves with knowledge? 

 By understanding both why certain behaviors arise and focusing on strengthening that special parent-child bond even more (because who doesn't want one?), together we can create an environment where true growth happens! Remember folks - every challenging moment presents a golden opportunity for learning and connection if approached through empathy and curiosity. 

Your beautiful fairytale story begins every morning when the sun rises. You fill your basket up with all of the parenting techniques and knowledge you know. Then, set off into the day to parent gently and offer all the love and kindness you possess.

An uncomfortable moment comes up for your child and you think, yes, the perfect time to pull out my validation technique. You've heard it works so well for other parents, you have SO much hope.

Instead the situation turns into "The Big Bad Wolf" and you can't understand where things went wrong.

On this week's podcast you'll discover how to instead use that basket of techniques on yourself. You'll learn how offering kindness and validation to yourself first is the secret sauce to achieving your fairytale ending.

Listen, here.

Do you notice yourself being "judgy" when you perceive that you or your child makes a mistake? You are not alone!

What is a mistake anyway?

The definition of a mistake is as follows: An action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.

Is it wrong in your eyes or when listening in do you notice someone else's voice?

On this week's Parenting Paused Podcast discover a different approach to inquire within to explore is it really a mistake?

As a mother I've often found myself imagining not so perfect outcomes about my child's future when I'm confronted with uncomfortable situations.

My child refuses to do homework and BAM my brain immediately starts cranking out thoughts about myself as a parent and the horrible outcomes of a stubborn child who won't focus on their education. Pretty soon I've imagined them on the side of a dark alley, homeless, jobless and I'm accepting the reward for "Worst Mother".

The thoughts swirl and pretty soon I've created an unimaginable series of events that have no actual basis. This then creates anxiety, self-doubt and so much more.

This week we'll review what to do when you're imagination kicks into high gear and how to instead SLOW DOWN and offer kindness and responsibility.

Listen, now.

Do you remember a time when your child came to you expressing disappointment?

They didn’t make the team, someone made fun of them, or they got a D on their latest project?

What came up for you?

Did a “playlist” of strategies come up to make them feel OK?

As the"music" played did you spring into action to banish those feelings for yourself and your child?

On this week's Parenting Paused Podcast learn how to exchange your Go To "playlist" with one that offers a pause, a breath and a healthy strategy to support you and your child in dealing with disappointment.

Episode 189: Dealing with Disappointment

Check it out here!

It may seem like the goal in parenting is for your kids to behave perfectly 100% of the time.

Instead of focusing on your kids behavior, have you considered what your part is in the dynamic?

For example, you ask your teen to take the trash out and they say, "no" with an eye roll. Conventional parenting says: "kids should show respect by doing what they are told".

What do you tell yourself about your parenting when your kiddo tells you "no" or you perceive them acting "disrespectfully"?

Curious about a new perspective on how to relate to yourself and your child?

Listen here!

If you google the most common words to describe teens, you'll find a list of words:

Risk Takers, Rebellious, Immature

What list of words do you use to describe how it feels to parent a teen?

Powerless, Afraid, Worried.

In Purejoy Parenting, you start right here... how are you feeling? Because often, how you perceive your teen begins with your emotions and conditioned beliefs.

If feeling powerless you may compensate by using a "power-over parenting style instead of choosing to connect with your teen and their knowing.

Are you willing to pause and recognize your innocent heart before you act? Of course, you want to protect your teen and yet are you open to attuning to your teen's innocent heart, too?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover a courageous step to support your teen in knowing themselves!

Parenting a teen can feel 🔥INTENSE!🔥

Have you heard the adage: "Little Kids, little problems. Big Kids, big problems?"

Years ago, I created a Parent Coach model for parents of At-Risk Teens. As you can imagine, their behavior was viewed as provocative! And of course, the parents of these teens whole-heartedly wanted their kids to be successful and avoid suffering.

Partnering with a few brave parents, we explored a different approach that became the crux of the Purejoy view. With kindness for yourself, (always with kindness), are you willing to look at your part in your relationship with your teen?

Discover more here.

In Purejoy, our view is: Thoughts and feelings drive behavior.

When you perceive your child as acting out behaviorally, what happens to you emotionally? Do you immediately judge your child? Take a pause and look a little deeper... What are your thoughts? What do you tell yourself about how your parenting when your child acts out?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore your internal landscape when you are emotionally triggered. Discover how your thoughts and feelings, if unexamined, drive your behavior.

And of course... don't forget the secret sauce: Kindness!!!!

Check it out here.

Discovering conscious parenting is a journey of self-awareness and compassion. It's not about being perfect all the time, but rather being conscious of what's going on inside of you and supporting your child in doing the same. Listen in to explore the possibilities of conscious parenting. Becoming more aware of your actions and reactions, supports creating a more loving and understanding home for yourself and your children. 

Parents are superheroes!

While you may not wear a mask and a silly costume like in comic books, you play an incredibly important role in your children’s lives and make significant sacrifices to ensure their well-being and happiness.

You may go to great lengths to keep your children safe and secure.

We do it all, but do we have to?

Do you bolt to the rescue when your child is struggling with a problem, relationship or task?

How do you see your child at that moment?

Do you see a helpless child or a victim? 

Are you willing to hand the cape over to them while still offering support, getting curious and letting them know they aren’t alone? It's a joy to teach them to be their own superhero.

Find out how!

I often found myself worrying about my child’s future and if the decisions I was making were the “right” ones. The “ifs” sometimes seemed to take over!

If they are on screens too long, will they fry their brains? 

If they eat too many sweets, will they get cavities?

If they push against my boundaries, does that make me a bad parent?

Sound familiar to you?

Constantly focusing on the future and projecting beliefs into it can be exhausting.

In this week’s Parenting Paused Podcast discover how to overcome the worry, since parenting doesn’t come with a crystal ball.

Listen here.

Do you experience a sense of accomplishment when your child behaves in a way that aligns with the values you've instilled in them?

And how do you feel if they don't share the same beliefs as you do?

It's natural for parents to judge their child's actions as good or bad based on whether they align with their own values.

However, it's important to consider where those beliefs and expectations come from.

Do you hear an external voice when judging your child's actions?

Take a moment to reflect on this.

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, learn about the benefits of curiosity for both you and your child, especially when it comes to values.

Listen here: Do you Expect Your Child to Have Your Values?