Parenting Paused

Kindness is a BIG word right now! We often hear in the parenting world that kindness is being nice and if your child is being mean, our goal should be to change their behavior to something more agreeable.

Do you see kindness as only “good”?

Do you feel the need to change your child's behavior if you perceive it as mean?

In this week’s podcast you’ll hear how kindness is not so black and white and how you can turn it into a beautiful tool for yourself and your family.

Listen now!

Kindness is not about Being Nice

Take a Purejoy Parenting conclusion quiz! Read these scenarios and discover where your mind takes you!

Ready? Go!

Your son has been playing video games for the past several hours and says he doesn't want to go for a walk.

- What's your first thought?

Your daughter stole her sister's clothing to wear to school.

- What do you conclude about her?

Your preK just pushed a kid down a slide at the playground.

- What do you tell yourself about them?

Explore what it is like to suspend your conclusions, stay with the sensation of discomfort a little longer, and learn about the practice of "Aware Listening".

Listen now.

Are your Conclusions True?

Are you feeling "shoulded" on in your parenting? You should do this and your children should do that. Are you organizing your life to avoid the discomfort that comes along with all of the "shoulds"?

What is it like to try something new?

Are you ready to be the expert of you?

Are you willing to welcome that discomfort as a friend rather than a foe?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore what this counter instinctual work is able to offer you.

Trust Your Biology

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the topic is Parenting Biology... a much different topic than Parenting Psychology!

Have you considered how much of your parenting wisdom comes almost thoughtlessly, through an innate system of biology? Or, are you more likely to trust a parenting "expert", book, or trusted friend or family? Is there resistance to seeking internal guidance?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the invitation is to open up to trusting the inner wisdom that is already present. You trust that your heart will beat and that your breath will come. You trust that the sun will rise in the East tomorrow morning.

This week, consider trusting yourself and your inner wisdom as a parent!

"Grown ups are boring!"

I remember when my child said this to me. My first thought was, "Well of course we are. We have to be! We are parents and have chores and bills and jobs and meals and our own parents to take care of!" My second thought was, "Good point... Why do I have to be so serious?"

Do you remember thinking adults were boring when you were a child? Do you have a tendency to bring heaviness to your parenting? Take a moment to consider the possibility of bringing child-like lightness to your day.

Explore the root of seriousness in your parenting and discover ways to, Lighten Up!

Imagine being at the beach, watching the waves at a distance as they rumble under the surface, rise to a peak, then fold on to the shore, sending fizzing bubbles over your toes.

Are you able to stop that cycle in anyway?

Now imagine watching the waves of emotions inside you as they rumble under your conscious surface, rising to a peak and then folding on to the shore... how do you feel when you sense that discomfort?

Discover more, now!

Are you upset when your kids don't like you?

Before listening to the podcast, take a moment, either right now or later in the day, to truly contemplate this question.

How does your answer impact how you parent? How does your response alter how you relate to your own parents or other parents?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover how to set your child, spouse or others FREE from your need to be loved.

Check it out!

Projection in Parenting!

What does that even mean?

Let's say your child hits someone at a playdate. Or your teen just arrived home late from a party. What happens to you right in that moment? When your mind starts to fill in a story between the gaps of what actually occurred you are projecting either the past or a future outcome on the moment.

Imagine meeting each moment as if seeing for the first time. How would this change your relationships?

Curious?

Listen now!

Are you a Parent Pleaser? You've probably heard about People Pleasing, saying "yes" when you really don't want to, etc. This strategy is used to protect yourself from feeling an emotion by ignoring your own personal boundaries. (Essentially, purchasing love).

How does this work in Parent Pleasing? Well, do you act a certain way with your child to ensure you always feel kind and loving?

Here's the same question from a different view: have you ever perceived your child as demanding or entitled? Could it be that this is a backlash from saying "yes" to your child when you really meant "no"?

 Intrigued?

Discover more by listening.

When did you have your last emotional meltdown?💥 A fight with your spouse, your kids, a coworker... Did you say something in the moment you wished you hadn't? 😫

So much of parenting advice is about supporting children to emotionally regulate, but what if you are struggling with how?

In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover an easy signal that supports you in unlinking your emotional energy from your actions.

Are you getting derailed by your own expectations?

You try a new trick to be on time in the morning, but your child can't find their left shoe. (Again!)

You plan a beautiful family outing for some much-needed fun and it is filled with temper tantrums.

Of course, you expect a lot from yourself and your children... and the truth is Parenting is Messy!

Discover here the root of these expectations while learning how to work with them the Purejoy way.

Is setting boundaries a struggle for you? Or do you find it easy?

You probably have heard at some point, "Kids need boundaries!"

But... what does that really mean? And how do you do it?

What's the difference between setting a "healthy personal boundary" and controlling your child's behavior?

Listen to discover the nuance.

What was your parenting fantasy before you had kids? How different is it to what you experience daily?

Perhaps you visioned preparing a creatively delicious healthy dinner and your children eagerly gobbled it up glowing brighter with inner health, bite by bite. Instead, they whine and complain about not having mac n cheese and how disgusting vegetables are.

Maybe you dreamed that your children stopped fighting because you learned that new technique about sibling rivalry. And the next second they are yelling and at each other again. 

How do you handle the discrepency between your fantasy and your reality? Is it possible to still find the joy? 

Are you trying to be the perfect parent? Even if you know on a conceptual level, that "perfect" doesn't exist... are you *still* trying to be perfect?

What does that look like to you? How do you define a perfect parent? Does this idea come from a book, a movie, your own parents or grandparents? Or maybe the image of Mary Poppins who is "practically perfect in every way".

Where does that internal voice come from saying "you should do this" or "you should be better". Or a really common one in the conscious parenting world is, "You should have gotten this by now!"Who is that person with so many opinions? Do you trust this voice?

Who can you trust?!?In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, learn about the two foundational practices to use while having a dialogue with that inner Mary Poppins.

Find your own wisdom as you listen.

Have you ever looked at your kids and thought: "What the heck am I doing?!?!?!"

The feeling of insecurity in parenting is SO common! Just look at the parenting "expert" field... it's massive these days!

Do these scenarios sound familiar?

In your excitement, you shared a story about your parenting with your mother, only to receive the "Mom Look"! You know the one: Disapproval without saying a single word.

Or...

You are at a playdate and a friend provides some unsolicited advice on what you should *definitely* do about your child's behavior.

Of course these situations, and many others, can elicit feelings of insecurity!

This week you can explore your parenting insecurity. You may believe on some level that it is caused by your child's behavior.

"If only my child would behave, then I wouldn't have to feel this way!"

Is this true?

What if you normalized the feeling of insecurity?

Listen to discover more.

This week in the Parenting Paused Podcast, listen in to explore the concept of innocence.

How do you respond to a newborn baby when they cry?

When they express a need in the only way they know how?

- Do you conclude that they are manipulating you?

How do you respond to your child, tween, or teen when they express a need?

- Do you conclude that they are manipulating you?

And how do you treat yourself?

Listen to rediscover your own innocence, so that you can welcome it in yourself and your child.

You *really* believe your kiddo should want to do their chores, do the dishes, the laundry, stop playing video games and help make dinner ... the list goes on!

How do you behave when they don't?

Do you use shame or blame?

Subtle coercion or bribes?

All the old parenting tricks?

Now go one step further: How do you feel when they don't?

This week, you'll explore how your emotional reactions impact the way you teach your kiddos the practical skill sets of life.

Of course, you want them to have practical skill sets! When you ask them to do the dishes, are your emotional needs weaved into this request?

Discover how to untangle the practical from the emotional in this week's episode!

Have you ever heard yourself saying the exact same thing your mother or father said to you as a child, and been horrified?

So many parents seek help because they do NOT want to parent from the family template they were given. It didn't work for you as a child, so why would it work for your children?

And then... you hear the words your mother or father said fly right out of your mouth!

Why does that happen???

You tried SO hard!

You read every book.

You watched all the Parenting Conferences.

Does this sound like you?

At Purejoy Parenting, the secret sauce to a beautiful relationship with your child is a beautiful relationship with yourself. Are you open to offering kindness to yourself when you act like your mom or dad?

Find out more in this week's episode!

Oh no!!!! Is this PERMISSIVE parenting?!?!? (dun dun DUN!!!!!) 😨

After parents learn about the Purejoy Parenting philosophy, it's pretty common for people to ask... am I just letting my kid do whatever they want?

One thing that differentiates Purejoy from other Parenting styles is that the focus is on a level deeper than behavior. 🤔

Who are you without your conditioning?

Who is your child?

How are you supporting the child you have?

Check out this week's episode to discover more!

You live in a culture that tells you how your children "should be". Through the ages and stages, there is a lot of info that expects your child to measure up.

In Purejoy, we go a little deeper by supporting you in looking internally. What need are you trying to meet when you expect your child to act or be a certain way different than they are?

In Purejoy we view everyone as deserving love for who they are. Including YOU!

Listen to this week's podcast episode, where Leslie shares what she learned the hard way!

Hear the questions she asked herself as she learned to parent the child she had, instead of the child that lived in her fantasy.