The Good Life Unravelled

Happy New Year. Yes, it's two week late, but it's a pandemic world and it has taken me this long to feel motivated and ready to share.

In this episode I share where I have been at the for the past couple of months. I talk anxiety and coping.

I am about to start my New Year Journalling process where I reflect on the past year, work on my current values, passions, and priorities, and finally plan and find focus for the year ahead.

I decided to turn this into a free guide for you to download and use as a digital prompt or print at home. Join me in a gentle process of reflection, processing, and dreaming for the future year.

It's free to subscribers on the mailing list. Unsubscribe at any time. https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/subscribe/

Let me know how you get on!

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@elizabethdhokia

In this episode I talk on day 1 of England lockdown 2 about:

• why I am limiting my screen time
• what mini moments of daily trauma can do to us
• acknowledging that lockdown 2 is different
• creating different seasonal routines
• whether we should bring out the Christmas decorations early
• the need to adjust in the longer term to a different way of living
• what it's like dealing with able-bodied reactions to lockdown
• my hope for more empathy
• why we need to be more creative in adapting to the new way of society functioning
• reaching out if you feel lonely
• what I did when I had a low day
• and an invitation to connect with me.

Get updates on: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/subscribe/

Links mentioned:

• The Importance of Processing (ep.  37)
• Setting Boundaries (ep. 25)
• Holland Otik on being chronically ill in lockdown (ep. 50)
• My mailing list
• Core values worksheet

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In today's podcast episode we chat with Kayte Ferris from Simple and Season, a business coach and blogger who left the corporate marketing world and moved to Snowdonia in 2017. Since then she has helped over 100 creatives launch and build their businesses online, winning awards and launching a top-rated podcast along the way. Kayte’s approach is all about creating a business that feels like you, ignoring the rules and should do’s and trusting your soul.

In this episode we talk about Kayte’s approach to intentional business and slow marketing and what that looks like. We both share the belief in working from a place of intentional values and Kayte tells us how she’s been able to craft a business that works well for her by staying rooted in those values.

We also touch on whether business values and personal values need to be separate.

I ask Kayte about being vulnerable in her work, and how to manage connecting with your audience in a way that is truthful. We talk about what success means and how business can function in a sustainable way.

Other things we touch on include visualisations to make and direction your decisions, using tarot cards to journal and process you mind. Plus we talk about how self-care can be a prickly term.

I very much enjoyed this chat with Kayte today. I think we come from a similar place in our approach to business and career. It’s great to see somebody who has honed their core values and put them into action, somebody who has created a business that works best for them.

Show notes: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/kayte-ferris/

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In a culture that prizes being busy and productive, I argue that there is a value in procrastination. 

For too long we have associated procrastination with laziness, emptiness, nothingness. We sometimes link procrastination with a poor sense of self-worth.

But what if we reframe that? What if we look at why we are procrastinating and what the act of it can do for us?

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This is part 2 of the interview with Holland Otik. Listen to part 1 on episode 48 first.

Holland Otik is a maker, chef, teacher, researcher, and animistic object enthusiast who incorporates magic and ritual into everything they do.

In this episode we cover a range of topics in quite some depth. It's a super interesting discussion with some pretty profound and insightful ideas. 

We cover: 

• How most of the spiritual and wellness industry in the west uses eastern philosophy, beliefs, and culture and repackage to make it accessible to white westerners.
• History of folk religion in the UK was linked to the natural world and a lot of that has been lost with disconnection through urban life.
• The importance of autonomy in our current way of life.
• Links with personal spirituality between autonomy.
• How capitalist society needs us to be disconnected to keep the system going.
• Personal art is essential and not a luxury. 
• Everyone is has a creative practice if you reframe what they do.
• Everyone is a curator and noticing that is liberating.
• The imperfections in relationships make them more meaningful.
• The good life comes from being yourself and giving space for others to be themselves.
• Living with chronic illness taught her to accept that it's not possible to always be happy or without pain, but finding a peace and accepting moves you forward.
• The pandemic has opened her eyes to how able-bodied people see illness. This is triggering for the chronically ill and disabled whose lives are always like that.
• How the wellness industry can make the chronically ill feel disempowered.
• The tragedy narrative attached to disabled people and the chronically ill. 
• How seeing disabled people thriving might change perception of illness.
• Even the perception of a wellness treatment can change depending on who it is serving.
• Wellness industry not accessible to the people who need it the most.
• What to say to somebody who is chronically ill.
• Holland's MA art work on tragedy narrative, child abuse, and self-harm.
• The problem with centring trauma response on authority figures and not the victim.
• The need the allow people to self-soothe in the way they know best.
• The power in truly seeing one another and appreciating their autonomy.

Show notes: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/hollandotik2

#GoodLifeUnravelled

In today's podcast episode I chatting with Holland Otik, a maker, chef, teacher, researcher and animistic object enthusiast who incorporates magic and ritual into everything they do. She currently owns a small shop and studio in Hereford.

This conversation was epic. So much so that we ended up talking for twice as long as we scheduled, and this interview will be split into two parts. Our first two parter!

So today's episode is part one of the two part interview with Holland Otik.

In this episode we cover Holland's journey to this stage in her life and career including various job roles including lecturer, chef, and artist. 

We talk about what a maker actually is and what a creative practice looks like.

Holland shares her interest in animism and how that informs her current practice of making masks. 

This leads to a conversation about symbols and rituals. And then onto how we can create our own spiritual practices. 

We also touch on the topic of wellness and spiritual industries capitalising on practices from other cultures. 

We finish by wondering whether it is possible to practice spirituality in a way that is ethical, responsible, and self-aware.

Come back next week for part 2 of the interview.

https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/hollandotik/

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Empathy levels have declined by a staggering 40% in the last 30 years and as Michelle Obama mentioned in her latest speech - the empathy deficit is having a devastating impact on personal relationships and our communities - causing polarisation, division and unhappiness. 

Mimi Nicklin unpacks the science and value of empathy in her new book Softening the Edge. Revealing how we can become more empathetic and happier.

Mimi Nicklin is a bestselling author and the host of the ‘Empathy for Breakfast’ breakfast show as well as the Secrets of The Gap podcast. She is an experienced marketer and communications specialist, a well-known empathetic leader, and the Creative Officer and Regional Managing Director for a global advertising agency.

https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/mimi-nicklin/

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What is the difference between a therapist, a mentor, and a coach? All operate in a kind of 'therapeutic' and personal one-to-one space and it's important to know how each functions and who will meet your needs.

Alexandra Cuncev is runs Storisse – a platform aimed at inspiring positive change through the gentle art of storytelling. She believes that telling our stories, sharing our magic in the mundane can inspire others around us and leads to gentle, but sustainable change.

A morning routine is the ideal way to set yourself up energetically for the day. I don't just mean physical energy, but also your mental, emotional, and spiritual energy.

I share the one crucial question you should ask yourself when you first wake up. And why practising some kind of self-care and intentional activity can set you up for the day. 

I give you a piece of homework to work on. My first podcast homework for my listeners!

If you would like to download and print my free morning routine worksheet and template, head here: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/subscribe/

And let me how you get on.

@elizabethdhokia on Instagram or Twitter

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Katherine May is an author of memoir and fiction. We talk about her recent book - Wintering - all about how to embrace the inevitable darker times of our lives.
We also talk about wellness and being neurodivergent. Plus her experience of getting an adult diagnosis of autism. Katherine also shares the joys of sea swimming, even in the winter!

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In today's podcast episode I share my journey to simplify my life over the past five years of living in my home. It started with simplifying our home, but a mindset happened and I was able to apply this mentality to all areas of my life. 

I share 15 tips on how to simplify your life. 

LEARNING POINTS

• Know your values (subscribe to download your own values worksheet)
• Create boundaries (listen to the boundaries podcast here)
• Declutter your home
• Spend time cleaning 
• Consider slow living practices
• Create rituals
• Meal plan
• Control your finances
• Delete social media (listen to the how I quite social media podcast here)
• Create a filing system
• Pack light
• Use online tools
• Be mindful of relationships (listen to reason, season, lifetime podcast here)
• Allow for space
• What is enough for you?

Show notes: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/how-to-simplify-your-life/ 

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In today's podcast episode we chat with Mita Mistry, a mindfulness-based cognitive therapist, acupuncturist, and newspaper columnist. 

She talks about how she went from a career in the city to making a change and going back to university to learn acupuncture. Mita shares why she was drawn to the therapeutic profession. 

Acupuncture is over 3000 years old. Mita shares a bit about the Chinese philosophy of energy meridians in the body, and how the acupuncturist can look help with unblocking when there are issues. There is a lot more depth to it including elements, and where patterns of disharmony lie. 

Mita shares what actually happens in an initial consultation for acupuncture, the detail they go into to get a whole view of your life, lifestyle, health, etc. 

We talk about moxibustion as an alternative to acupuncture for those of us with needle-phobias. There are several other options for those of us who would still like to access the acupuncture framework. 

Mita shares some of the most common struggles she has noticed amongst us all. She tells us how to decide what the best therapeutic approach is for each individual and how to decide who the best therapists are. She reminds us the need for rapport with a therapist, and someone you feel safe with.

Good life is a stress-free life, being around good people, and feeling like giving back. Being healthy and being in the moment.

The key is to find what a good life means to you as an individual and living intentionally that honours who you are as a person. 

We talk about how therapists, of all different kinds, can be such a useful way to help you figure out what you need as they are supportive with your own best interests at heart in a non-judgemental way.

Walking meditation, awareness of sensations in the body as you walk. Meditation can bring more creativity.  Talk about mindfulness that brings us out of our auto-pilot of being in our head, and be more present with our body and less so with our thoughts. 

Show notes: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/mitamistry/

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What are mantras and how can they change your mindset and overall wellbeing for the better? Plus examples of 43 mantras you could use in you own life.

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Sign up for the new one-to-one unravelling coaching here:

https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/coaching/

In today's podcast episode I chat with Catherine Summers, an award-winning blogger of over-40s style blog Not Dressed As Lamb.

Not Dressed As Lamb is one of the leading and most established over-40s fashion and style blogs in the UK and around the world. 47 year old Catherine’s key message is to encourage women of all ages to oppose the outdated notion of age-appropriate dressing and to wear whatever they like (she is the founder of the hugely successful Instagram hashtag #iwillwearwhatIlike). An expert at pattern-mixing and bright colours, she describes her style as ‘preppy with an eclectic twist’. Always looking to challenge the norm, she blogs about her personal style and high street picks, as well as ageing issues, health and beauty, and weekly musings about her daily life.

In this interview we chat about why fashion is important to Catherine and how the clothes you wear can make a difference to your overall wellbeing.

Catherine shares what the term age-appropriate means and why she is opposed to it.

Catherine shares lots of advice, wisdom and inspiration in this interview. It was a joy to speak to her.

In fact, we recorded this interview just before lockdown so this chat exists in a place where the world was slightly different.

As we start edging back into a certain sense of normality in our daily lives I thought it was a good time to share Catherine’s inspiring perspectives about how fashion, style, and we dress ourselves can impact our overall wellbeing.

#GoodLifeUnravelled

Show notes: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/catherinesummers/

I chat with my husband Raj and his best friend Sonehal about their new Instagram project - To The Baseline - a space to chart their fitness and health journey from day one. 

We discuss their different goals and perspectives on fitness and general wellbeing. 

We also talk about what it's like being overweight, and how it's not always a sign of fitness.

We talk about the link between mental health and body image.

We talk about what a good life means to both of them and their self-care routines and priorities.

And start to chat about the importance of sexual wellness. 

This is a slightly different format for the show as we recorded it in the same room with two mics but hopefully it still works and you get lots of value from the conversation.

Show notes: https://www.elizabethdhokia.com/raj-and-sonehal/

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