Truly Unruly with Marcus & Jessica Trufant

Happy New Year! In this episode, the Trufants look back at 2022 and ask some important questions about their relationships and individuals. Get your notes ready so you can ask the same questions about your relationship!

What's the biggest mistake of the year, and the lesson learned as a result?

What did you learn about your friends this year?

What would you say were some highlights of this year when it came to your marriage?

What was my biggest relationship accomplishment?

What do you think you can work on in your relationship in the upcoming year?

If I could travel back to the beginning of the year, what advice would you give me?

What's the status of the goals I set last year and what goals do I want to set for the year going forward? 

"I'm not one of your little friends" - if you were raised by a Black mom, you've definitely heard that one! If you're now a Black mom, you've probably said all of these phrases. In this episode, The Trufants laugh about all the things their moms said growing up and if they say the same things now to their kids. Get ready to laugh!

How happy or unhappy you are in your marriage certainly affects you and your spouse's emotional state and feelings of happiness, but does it affect your children? Do children pick up on the vibes of a stressful, emotionally draining marriage? Do they pick up on the vibes of a happy, respectful loving marriage? In this episode, the Trufants dive in. 

We call this episode "our freestyle" episode, we're talking crazy about dating, marriage, and everything in between. Get ready to laugh because we have some funny stories ready to dish up.

Fighting and arguing in relationships feel uncomfortable and can really hurt the relationship if both parties are trying to hurt each other. But, fighting is normal in relationships. Learning to fight fairly, however, takes some time and practice to learn. If you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship it's important to take key steps to fight fair and to grow from the fight. Instead of hurting your relationship, a "fair" fight might actually help the relationship.

In this episode, the Trufants, discuss their "fighting style" - if they fight fair and how they (and you) might improve your communication during a fight - and actually grow from the fight.

Talking with a good friend can easily turn into a vent session all about your relationship. Sometimes it just feels good to get it out and to get someone else's take on the situation. But, is venting to your friends about your relationship healthy? Listen to what the Trufants say about this topic in their marriage. 

Has your spouse fallen asleep during sex? Do they fall asleep immediately after sex? Or, maybe YOU are the one falling asleep. One of the Trufants fell asleep during sex...can you guess who? Find out how the Trufants reacted in this episode.

Disagreements in relationships are normal. But, constant bickering can cause havoc even in the most healthy relationships. There comes a point when it's important to learn how to choose which fights are worth fighting and which ones are easier to just let go of. In this episode, The Trufants discuss the art of picking your battles wisely in a relationship. 

Do you have a favorite R&B song to listen to during sex? Or are you a rap person? Do you like it better silent? Maybe you like the TV on in the background? In this hilarious episode, the Trufants share their favorite bedroom sounds (or not).

Jessica had her birth chart done recently and was in for a few major life surprises. In this episode, the Trufants share some of Jessica's astrological secrets and how it has changed her life. 

One day you wake up and your kid is not so kid-like anymore and they're wanting to start dating. You knew this day would come. Maybe you've prepared for it. Chances are, you're not. The Trufants have 5 kids, a few of them are teenagers and their preteens are quickly reaching that age. In this episode, Marcus and Jessica share how they approach dating and relationships with their kids and how to talk to your teen about those complicated years. 

Don't sacrifice and compromise essentially mean the same thing? Short answer, no. Sacrifice and compromise are totally different actions. So, what do they even mean? Is it important to practice BOTH sacrifice and compromise to have a healthy relationship? 

Relationships get more complicated when words like compromise and sacrifice are just thrown around all the time. 

In this episode, The Trufants dive into the questions that plague all of us in relationships when it comes to making sacrifices or learning to compromise.

26 of the Trufant's closest friends met up in the Dominican Republic for Jessica's 40th birthday party. It was a wild, kid-free vacation! Hear all the tea in this episode. 

Jessica is turning the big 4-0! Listen to how she feels about hitting the milestone birthday and what their plans are for the big day (hint: it's a tropical vacation with NO kids)

Good looks can fade. Money comes and goes. Personalities can change. So, what's the MOST important when it comes to dating and relationships? A lot of money, good looks, or a great personality? Everyone could have their own answer to that question depending on their preferences. Here's what the Trufants say matters most to them. 

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to rush into sex without thinking about the consequences of unprotected sex. Sometimes it seems like people are more concerned with pregnancy than with STDs. Until YOU catch something. With an estimated 80% of sexually active adults being infected with HPV, sexual health is something that needs to be talked about more often. In this episode, the Trufants discuss safe sex, how long to wait before sex, when it's ok to have unprotected sex, and how to go about having the STD talk with a new partner. 

Is Father's Day less important? Dads Marcus and Kel say that sometimes Father's Day feels less important. While Jessica debates the reasons why such a huge emphasis is placed on Mother's Day. And, is it OK for single mothers to hijack Father's Day? Do dads deserve better gifts? 

Breakups suck. They're hard and they hurt. It's just part of life - relationships don't always work out. Maybe you're just not compatible or you mutually decide to call it quits. But, there comes a point where you not being able to "keep a man" might be more about YOU and you're own unresolved issues. It's a tough pill to swallow and even harder to admit that maybe, just maybe, you are not "perfect" and that you have faults as well. 

A strong, lasting, healthy relationship is made up of two whole individuals who are ready for a long-term commitment. Sometimes, before you are able to reach that level of commitment you need to do some self-care and get work on yourself. It's not always easy, but it's worth it in the long run. 

In this episode, the Trufants get real about the 3 main reasons why some women can't keep a man and the steps they can take to make sure they find "Mr. Right"...instead of  "Mr. Right Now" or "Mr. WRONG"

Do you do everything for your boyfriend that you think a wife does? Sex, cook, clean, grocery shop, laundry...blah, blah, blah? Basically, giving him all the privileges of being a husband without the commitment? Then you wonder why he hasn't married you yet after all this time. Now, if you're in a relationship where you have both decided that marriage is not your thing, this episode is probably NOT for you. For everyone else - your boyfriend is NOT your husband and it's time to stop treating him as such, especially if you want to get married and he doesn't. Period. And all those things you "think" you're doing for him that a wife should do - any woman could do that. Maybe he's stringing you along. Maybe he doesn't want to "fix something that's not broken"...

Whatever the case may be, in this episode the Trufants get real about relationships where the couple is not married, but (usually) the woman goes above and beyond to act like a wife in an attempt to possibly prove herself as worthy wife. Listen up, this one is going to ruffle a few feathers. 

Nearly 70% of divorces in the US are initiated by women. So, why do more women than men call it quits on marriage? Maybe, just maybe, it's because they do not benefit from marriage in the same way that men do. Gender roles traditionally teach women to prepare to be a "good wife" their entire lives whereas men are taught to build careers. Ultimately, as times have changed, married women might get fed up with this narrative and decide that marriage cannot benefit them in the way they need. 

 In this episode, the Trufants discuss who usually benefits more from marriage - men or women? And, what can be done to make it feel more equal on both sides to have a lasting marriage.