Your Parenting Long Game

We want our days to be filled with peace and connection, but those of us raising kids with big emotions know that’s not always the reality. Even when we try hard to fix the arguing, complaining, and general resistance to our requests, it can feel like nothing reduces the drama long-term -- and sometimes, it seems like our efforts are actually making things worse.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why some of your current parenting strategies may not be working, despite your best efforts

• The real reasons behind seemingly-unbreakable cycles -- and what to do about it!

• The lifelong benefits (for us and our kids) of breaking negative cycles for good

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Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/182

Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

It can be overwhelming navigating the constantly-changing emotions and reactions of children who feel things strongly. One minute they’re happy and the next, they are melting down about something that’s not even a big deal! We want to reduce the drama and be a powerful positive influence with our kids, but how do we do that when we don’t really understand what’s driving their reactions?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What to check first when kids have unpredictable behavior

• How to “see” inside our children’s brains, so we can approach them with compassion instead of judgment 

• The benefits of changing our perspective when kids have confusing reactions

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Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/181

Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Even when you try to make deposits with your children, sometimes you run into obstacles. You may feel particularly stuck if your child resists the attempts you are trying to make to connect with them! When that happens, using micro-deposits can help you get unstuck and shift things back to a more positive direction. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to address common obstacles to making deposits 

• Why children with big emotions pull away or push back when we’re trying to spend time with them

• Easy-to-implement “micro” deposits -- simple actions that don’t take much time but have a BIG impact on your relationship

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Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence

Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/180

Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Because our children struggle with challenging situations and feelings, we want to give them what they need to be resilient. But if we’re being honest, sometimes it's easier in the moment to give them what they WANT instead of what they NEED to be able to handle the obstacles they will inevitably face in life. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to know whether we’re meeting our kids’ wants or needs -- and when we need to make a change!

• What our children actually need from us to become more resilient 

• The easiest way to meet our kids’ emotional needs (with examples!) for stronger self-esteem and healthier relationships

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Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence

Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Today we are celebrating our 300th episode with a more personal episode as I respond to listener-submitted questions. If you’ve ever wanted to learn a little more than the parenting tips I share, you’ll be able to do that now! 

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What I was like as a child - including the worst thing I ever did! 

• How and why I started a business helping parents 

• Some quotes that inspire me, both as a parent and as a person

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Free video series for parents raising children with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

Coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

When our children are having big emotions or behaviors, it’s natural to want those big feelings and behaviors to stop so that there is more fighting, no more disrespectful attitudes, no more drama. Unfortunately, there’s one problem: We can’t control how our kids feel or how they behave. And when we try, we just make the situation worse (and we feel worse).

Fortunately, there is an alternative that leads to a better outcome – AND doesn’t require us to give in to them. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why our need to control others leaves us exhausted

• How to address big feelings without trying to change other people

• A simple shift that will reduce resentment and lead to more peace and influence with our children

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Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence

Coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Why do some kids listen more to one parent than another? Why do some kids seem to calm down more quickly around one parent than another? Often the difference is that one parent is a powerful positive influence, while the other isn’t. The good news is that any parent can learn to be a powerful positive influence.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What we need to give our kids if we want to be more influential 

• How becoming a Powerful Positive Influence can motivate better behavior and healthier self-esteem -- without yelling, punishing, or shaming

• Two necessary qualities that will help you become a Powerful Positive Influence with your children 

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Apply to join the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program: https://forms.gle/JTfYQfUXWeg5cpmR8

Talk to Rachel about whether the "Become a Powerful Positve Influence" Action Program is a fit for you: https://Rachel-Bailey.as.me/Influence

Coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Many people confuse “respectful parenting” with permissive parenting, thinking that respectful parents give into the whims of their children to make them feel good.

But caving to our kids’ feelings and reactions is not respectful…to them or to us. Believe it or not, firm boundaries are a hallmark of respect-based parenting. And firm boundaries are what our children with big emotions really need.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What firm parenting boundaries look like

• Reasons why setting limits can be uncomfortable for us (and how to deal with the discomfort)

• How to respond to our children’s big emotions respectfully

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

Sometimes people assume that because I teach parenting strategies for a living, I’m always parenting the way I want to. I actually think that assumption is dangerous, so I wanted to offer just a few of my parenting regrets... some of which you may be able to relate to! 

 In this episode, I’ll share: 

• Some of my personal parenting fails 

• How I handle those fails – sometimes “successfully,” sometimes not

• What I do when I recognize that I’m not parenting the way I want to 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

Even when you listen to so many tips and parenting strategies available, it can be difficult to find those that actually work with kids with big emotions. And when nothing we try seems to make a difference, it’s easy to feel helpless. But it is possible to identify what our children need in order to feel and act better.  

 In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Why our definition of “what works” doesn't always work! 

• What our kids need more than rewards or punishments

• Two things our children must have in order to do the things that we want them to do 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

There is almost nothing more upsetting than when a child acts disrespectful. And of course when our kids talk back, roll their eyes at us, or ignore us…we don’t always respond effectively. How can we learn to understand children’s disrespect so that we can give them the coping skills they need to act more maturely? 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Two simple reasons children are often disrespectful to their parents, even when they know they shouldn't be 

• How to respond in the moment to behavior that is rude or dismissive  

• How to increase your influence so your child NATURALLY respects you 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

You have an idea in your mind of what you “should” be doing as a parent. But how often do you feel like you’re falling short of your own expectations? So many of us feel guilty on a regular basis, and it can be exhausting. But there is something you can do to reduce your guilt (and get some energy back!). 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What happens when we let go of parenting guilt

• One question we can ask ourselves to turn our guilt into confidence

• How to create a simple plan that will empower you to parent from your values so you feel less bad about what you’ve done (or not done)

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

Dealing with children’s lies can be very upsetting. When we know that they’re not telling the truth, we may feel disrespected and helpless and worry about how this behavior will impact our child (and our connection) in the future. How can we stop the lying once and for all – without harming our relationship?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The real reasons our kids tend to lie 

• The strategies that don’t stop lying behavior (and why!)

• The mindset shift we need to make in order to influence our kids to stop lying 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

We love our children with big emotions, but sometimes our love isn’t enough to build their confidence, especially when their strong feelings confuse them so much. 

As a child I had trouble believing in myself, and I’d like to share my experience with you – and why your children are likely better off than I was! 

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What I learned as a child with big emotions

• Two hard-to-hear things our children with big emotions often believe about themselves 

• How Long Game Parenting strategies help our kids become more resilient and capable

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

We know that consistency is really important for our children with big emotions. But sometimes it feels like we spend all of our time enforcing limits – at the expense of our relationship! How can we teach our kids to do the things they need to do without feeling helpless or like we’ll have to nag forever?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to outsmart kids’ “avoider brain” 

• How to find and address the real reasons for resistance 

• How to get to the point where you can nag less so you can spend more enjoyable time with your children 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

Raising a child with big emotions can feel like a roller coaster some days. One moment they might be yelling at you to go away… and the next moment they’re angry that you did what they asked. What do we do when our child does something that seems illogical and nothing we do is helping?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What’s underneath kids’ seemingly-illogical behavior 

• How to understand what’s going on inside our kids before addressing their (outer) behavior 

• How to make a plan for handling your child’s big -- and sometimes illogical -- reactions in the future. (And it’s easier than you think!) 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

If you have a child who tends to have big emotions or reactions, you’ve probably tried many different things to reduce the drama in that moment. But you may not have found much success, so you’re dealing with the drama over and over (or you’re walking on eggshells to prevent their big reaction!). 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why it’s so hard to shift things in the moment once a child is reactive 

• What to focus on as your child is having a big emotion so that the situation goes more smoothly

• Two simple ideas to regulate ourselves when our kids are melting down

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

You probably know from experience that the stronger our relationship with our kids, the more smoothly things go. But these days, when everyone is so busy, it can be challenging to find enough time to strengthen our relationships. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why a strong connection does make a positive difference in their behavior, moods, and attitudes

• A way to stop feeling guilty about how little time (or energy) you have to spend with them 

• Quick ideas for small “deposits” that have a big impact

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/

Welcome to a bonus "Ask Me 3" episode with pediatric sleep consultant Bonnie Dimmick!

Listen as I ask Bonnie 3 questions:
1. For families with toddlers, preschoolers or young kids that aren't sleeping independently, is it too late to help them learn? 
2. How can I get my kids to stop stalling so much and all their curtain calls at bedtime?
3. All of a sudden my great sleeper refuses to fall asleep without me in the room and is waking up at night, what should I do?

Listen as Bonnie asks me 3 questions: 
1. How do you deal best with periods where a child has a very strong parental preference?
2. What are your best tips for handling kids who hate making mistakes and it feels like logic and modeling aren't working? 
3. How do you get kids to practice hard things or try something new without bribery or how do you recommend handling this?

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FREE RESOURCES
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Many of us have tried to teach our kids healthy coping strategies, but often they don’t use those strategies in the moment when they’re upset. And then we feel helpless when nothing we say or do seems to help them calm down! 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• An important reason that your child might not be using coping strategies

• What our kids need us to do in the moment when they’re in Yuck

• How we foster resilience and strengthen our relationship by giving our children what they need 

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Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey

Raising Resilience Membership: https://rachel-bailey.com/raising-resilience-membership/