Updated title: John Abate and a miracle of forgiveness. My friend John Abate and I are both changing. We are learning how to slow down, hold our tongues, and find peace. Me, I had to go through a divorce and a couple other things. John, well…he almost gets killed while riding his bike. There’s broken bones, fused vertebrae, and the miracle of forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to listen for the rest!
Episode notes:
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You can find John Abate and his 8 week MBSR class here: www.mindfulfoundations.org
We worked together in the mortgage industry 10-15 years ago. I was his boss!
It was high stress. The game of it. We were hunters. Type A. Firing away. Sales.
We were trying to be helpful and find people where it made sense. He started working with me 2008…. After the melt down.
We are different people today. They wouldn’t let us in the door w the hair we have today.
It has been a steady progression of him slowing down.
John is an avid cyclist. He started racing around 07 and it was his cathartic outlet. Him needing a release. He did his first bike race in 2007. With the Swamis cycling club in Encinitas. Their tag line “The gurus of cycling” lol.
Racing road cycling fuels our personality types. The A types. Highly competitive. It fed that for him.
He gets hit by a car August 2016. Heading out for his 89 mile Sunday ride. Him and his friend. Just leaving, a half mile from his house. He’s mid sentence with his friend when WHAM.
He wakes up 3 days later in the hospital. And he is beat up. Compound fractures, broken back, et all.
Kelly, his riding partner, they are still good friends.
The rub. It was a hit and run accident. They have never found the driver. This is where the story that’s interesting. Forgiveness.
And it’s the start of his most recent transformation. He was gifted with forgiveness quickly. “I don’t know where it came from”.
His sobriety community is rallying around him. On day 3 in the hospital I asked everybody to join hands and just pray for the driver. “Please I need to do this.” That the driver is not suffering and to help me forgive him.
It turned out to be one of the most beautiful moments that I have experienced. And certainly other people that were there would attest to it.
I needed this to start healing man. Because I had a lot to go through (moving forward).
Did that actually help anybody. It truly helped some of those men.
That hospital room is a beacon of light. It was really cool.
Now John teaches mindful based stress reduction (MBSR) classes.
Now the swamis guru bike club has new meaning.
Getting sober had started his spiritual practice. Playing w meditation etc. The accident introduced him to MBSR as a modality to heal himself from the accident.
He literally can’t move due to the casts, traction etc. John is devouring books. And stumbles accoss MBSR as a modality of healing not only the body but the mind. For people that have suffered traumatic injury.
I wanted an alternative way to heal along w western medicine. Physical therapy and all that. I wanted to heal w o staying on the medication. And I wanted to be w my experience.
I had a lot of questions. What happens to the driver? Will I ever br able to ride again? What’s going to happen w my body. MBSR helped me sort though that.
“Good thing you were sober and hadn’t pushed everyone away still!”
And there’s the company JoJa Bars. Which he had just started when he had accident
MBSR didn’t free him from pain. It helps him deal w it. Survive the PT the doctors appointments. The attachment of pain. The fears of what’s next. I overcame some serious obstacles. It was the touchstone moment from his accident. It gave me the opportunity to see If I put my mind right I can do almost anything. That was the shift for me.
I ended up taking the 8 week MBSR course at UCSD. Which is the flagship university we’re all day teacher training and etc. happens. UCSD Add university of Massachusetts. They are the center for where a lot of this comes from.
It affirmed everything I was learning on my own. It gave me the tools to heal. It helped bring me back to 100%. I was happy content and at peace. Forgiveness and compassion.
A working definition of Mindfulness as defined by the courses that I teach. Founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn. (Some history of MBSR). “Mindfulness is when we are able to pay close attention on purpose, without judgment.”
There is no striving to be perfect. There is no striving to be right. It’s just looking at. Paying close attention.
“You find a creative way of responding, if it’s even needed”
His next 5 or 10 minutes are awesome! An explication of mindfulness in action.
There is a lot of flow in bicycle racing.
I’m just trying to explore the recesses of the mind. What makes thoughts tick? How do those come up? Consciousness is a wonderful thing to delve into.
The by product of that is how we treat others people. It gives me pause which is what I need. I need pause! This mouth runs fast when I allow it to.
Now John is actively teaching MBSR. Teaching what he learned. An 8 week course.
If you would like some new tools to heal your body and your mind you can find John Abate here: www.mindfulfoundations.org
“I just get to keep learning man!”
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