bame

Barriers to entry start in the home where often your confidence is knocked by constant comparison which then leads to self-doubt. Society then creates barriers in the form of ceilings and layers of interviews, hoops, and hurdles. Whilst navigating this what about the barriers to entry we create in our minds where we don't even apply to certain jobs because we don't think we are qualified or deserving. When will we give ourselves permission to remove the barriers to entry we have in our minds? In this episode, I discuss the internal barriers to entry that prevent us from achieving what we deserve and taking the risks we need to progress to the next level in our careers.


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In this week's episode, I discuss a recent redundancy I consulted on for a Black Queen who honestly was at her wits end in dealing with her employer. I am proud to say (with her permission) we managed to negotiate an £18,500 package plus anything else owed to her (She had to also sign an NDA). The lesson that we both learned from this I wanted to bring to the podcast. 

Also, I discuss the recent tweet from our dear sis Patricia Bright regarding her competition to give £10k cash to Black Women not trending on social media.

 Email me:  hello@toyatalks.com
 
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www.toyatalks.com
https://toyatalks.com/

This is a dilemma episode where you write to me hello@toyatalks.com with your work-related dilemmas and I try my best to advise you and find you a solution.

Email me:  hello@toyatalks.com
 
 Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks)
 
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*TRIGGER WARNING* This poem may trigger women who are trying to have a baby, or have experienced loss of a child as it explores my emotional journey around being a woman who experiences the physical feelings of being ready to have child despite not wanting one, then becoming undecided. 

As a woman in my mid-thirties I STILL haven’t made my mind up about whether I want kids or not…Right now, I’m moving towards not having a child/children and I know I’ll be fine with that. However, I had a really visceral reaction to turning 30 in the form of my body telling me it was ready to bear a child. It really did affect me because I was not expecting this at all. I found it really strange that I had this physical feeling within my body and unconscious mind through my dreams brought about visions and feelings of what it would be like to be pregnant. To be honest that experience scared me because I was someone who said relentlessly that I did not want children. Now I have reconciled all that and whilst many say that I still have plenty of time and I know many women who have gone on to have healthy and happy children into their 40s, I have decided that it is highly unlikely that I will be a mother…and that’s OK as I have other amazing children in my life.

Intro & outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily Insta and occasionally Twitter: @thediversityofme

I love a good hug. I was really missing the intimacy of romantic hugs. Then when Covid hit I missed all hugs from all my lovely friends and family. This poem was written way before the pandemic hit though and focuses on what kind of hugs I’m looking forward to. 

Intro & outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily Insta and occasionally Twitter: @thediversityofme

I am embarrassed by this poem but still decided to put it out there anyway because I think most people do want to be desired…who doesn’t want someone to find them attractive, to receive compliments to be showered with affection? My mum has no idea I’ve put this one out. Don’t tell her. She’ll so give be a ‘tuppur’ - which means smack in Punjabi 😅🙈😬

*Please note: There is strong language in this episode*

Intro & outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily Insta and occasionally Twitter: @thediversityofme

Whilst at the time of writing this poem I am happy being single, although I know that I don’t want to be single forever. So occasionally, when I allow it, there is the thought of you… whoever you are. And this is what I’d like it to be like when you do make yourself known to me.

Intro & outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme

It’s a bit sh*t going through a break up isn’t it? It does get better though. However, this poem doesn’t explore the getting better bit… it was written whilst still in the throws of emotional turmoil. Hopefully you’ll be able to resonate with the words.

*Please note: There is strong language in this episode*

Intro & outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme

When it comes to being in a relationship, have you ever felt like you’ve compromised a little too much? Have you conformed that bit too easily? Have you always put others before yourself? Then you may be able to relate to this poem that explores what it is to be ‘too nice.’

*Please note: There is strong language in this episode*

Intro & outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme

Despite that the fact most of us are remote working there are some who have returned to the office I wanted to share with you the politics of working in open offices. I recently watched 'Million Dollar Beach House' on Netflix I would suggest you all watch this and observe the open off showdown that took place the aggression displaced by a white woman to a Black man in an open office in front of the audience of colleagues. It was aggressive and bullying. Working in an open office nothing is private someone is always listening or attempting to provoke. In this episode, I discuss navigating working in an open office.

Email me:  hello@toyatalks.com
 
 Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks)
 
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Sponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com

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www.toyatalks.com
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The ladies discuss why mental health is such a taboo subject in the Black community and what we can do to normalise conversations, whether Britain still has an issue with interracial dating and if dating outside of your race means having to compromise your “blackness”, and the origins of the Nice Guy vs. Bad Boy stereotype and why nice guys always seem to finish last.

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FOLLOW THE CONVERSATION 

#EthnicallySpeaking

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unitedmelaninco

Facebook: https://facebook.com/unitedmelaninco

Twitter: https://instagram.com/unitedmelaninco

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/unitedmelaninco/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/UnitedMelaninGroup

Get in touch with us: ethnicallyspeaking@unitedmelaningroup.com

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LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE 

https://unitedmelaningroup.com/es012

(Website – Show notes)

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jul/20/care-failings-contributed-to-death-of-woman-sarah-reed-in-prison-inquest-finds

(Article – Care failings contributed to death of woman in prison, inquest finds – Diane Taylor for The Guardian) 

https://www.healthline.com/health/racism-mental-health-diagnoses#Mental-health-professionals-dont-know-how-to-diagnose-Black-people

(Article – Black People Like Me Are Being Failed by the Mental Health System. Here’s How – Gloria Oladipo for Healthline)

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/news/how-can-we-break-mental-health-barriers-communities-color

(Article – How Can We Break Mental Health Barriers in Communities of Color? – McLean (Harvard Medical School Affiliate)

https://youtu.be/nmX0BfzmLYg

(Video – ETHNICALLY SPEAKING 011: Blackfishing, Changing Your Last Name, Renting Clothes & Yay Or Nay To PDA – United Melanin Group)

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/black-lives-matter-protests-mental-health-organisations-support-donate-a9575611.html

(Article – Black Mental Health Organisation To Reach Out To For Support – Sabrina Barr for Independent) 

https://www.netflix.com/title/80996601

(Video – Love Is Blind – Netflix series)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/clip/5097bc36-58a2-4fa7-ba34-2687f3c10edc

(Video – Things Not To Say To Someone Of Mixed Race – BBC)

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a32314885/dating-bad-boys/

(Article – Why Women Find "Bad Boys" So Attractive, Even Though We Know They're Trouble – Dina Cheney for Good Housekeeping)

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Each week join Anissa, Luanda Yasmin and Sophie Hannah, three smart, curious and opinionated highly-melanated women, as they discuss everything from current affairs to pop culture, and everything in between. No subject is off limits for these ladies, especially when it comes to issues affecting British communities of colour. Get ready to laugh, learn and liberate your mind, because if there’s one thing you can guarantee, it’s that the Ethnically Speaking ladies will be giving it to you straight!

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Music by GC

The current job market is bad in fact its the worst I have seen it in a long time not just in the UK but in the US and Europe this is, of course, a direct result of the pandemic and the recent announcement of a recession in the UK. We are now in Fixed Term Contract (FTC) Season. In this episode, I share my own experiences of Fixed Term Contracts and give you an overview of FTC's, things to look out for in FTC contracts and questions to consider during the interview process of an FTC to enable you to make better and informed decisions. As Black Women navigating the world of work we need to also navigate this uncertain season by equipping ourselves with the knowledge we need to weather the unpredictability of the current job market this also means not undervaluing ourselves.


Email me:  hello@toyatalks.com
 
 Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks)
 
 Snapchat: @toyawashington
 
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Sponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com

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www.toyatalks.com
https://toyatalks.com/

The ladies explore whether it’s acceptable to engage with the work of someone who has committed a serious crime and if you can ever separate the art from the artist, their reactions to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s new single WAP and whether the song is an anthem for female sexual liberation or simply perpetuates the oversexualisation of Black women, their personal hair journeys and thoughts on new research revealing that Black women with natural hairstyles are perceived as “less professional”, and why some men seem to be threatened by ambitious women following the appointment of Kamala Harris as Joe Biden’s running mate.

--------------------------------------- 

FOLLOW THE CONVERSATION 

#EthnicallySpeaking

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unitedmelaninco

Facebook: https://facebook.com/unitedmelaninco

Twitter: https://instagram.com/unitedmelaninco

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/unitedmelaninco/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/UnitedMelaninGroup

Get in touch with us: ethnicallyspeaking@unitedmelaningroup.com

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LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE 

https://unitedmelaningroup.com/es010

(Website – Show notes)

https://youtu.be/hsm4poTWjMs

(Video – WAP [Official Music Video] – Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion)

https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/ceelo-green-interview-gnarls-barkley-music-today/

(Article – Far Out Meets: CeeLo Green, offering up lessons from the past for the kids of the future – Mike Milenko for Far Out)

https://youtu.be/U9FM49Tzhn4

(Video – Ben Shapiro Reacts to "WAP" by Cardi B! – Ben Shapiro YouTube Channel)

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1948550620937937

(Abstract/Research Paper – The Natural Hair Bias in Job Recruitment – Christy Zhou Koval, Ashleigh Shelby Rosette in Social Psychological and Personality Science journal)

https://www.vogue.com/article/kamala-harris-ambition-joe-biden-running-mate

(Article – The Veep Watch: Some People Seem to Have a Problem With Kamala Harris’s ‘Ambition.’ I Wonder Why. – Michelle Ruiz for Vogue)

----------------------------------------

Each week join Anissa, Linda E, Luanda Yasmin and Sophie Hannah, four smart, curious and opinionated highly-melanated women, as they discuss everything from current affairs to pop culture, and everything in between. No subject is off limits for these ladies, especially when it comes to issues affecting British communities of colour. Get ready to laugh, learn and liberate your mind, because if there’s one thing you can guarantee, it’s that the Ethnically Speaking ladies will be giving it to you straight!

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Music by GC

In this episode, Toria talks to Shuaib Khan, a teacher of Humanities. Shuaib is a British Muslim who has always has been interested in inequalities. One of his biggest grievances has always been the inability of educators to hold conversations that truly matter. So that is what Shuaib and Toria had - a conversation that truly mattered.

They talk heritage, privilege, equality and music (yes, Shuaib loves the Spice Girls)! To follow Shuaib on Twitter @ShuaibKhan26 and to read his blog go to https://shuaibwriteskhanthinks.wordpress.com/

If you enjoyed this episode please share it with others.

If you would like to find out more about Tiny Voice Talks Coaching with Toria then email her on toria@tinyvoicetalks.com

If you would like a copy of the Tiny Voices Talk book with 30% off go to www.crownhouse.co.uk or www.independentthinkingpress.com and use the code TINY30.

Andrew and Miguel from the BAME Recruitment talent team join host Naomi in this very first episode of You Can’t Say Anything Anymore! 

We hear some of their personal and professional history, and their motivations for working at BAME Recruitment. The team talk with refreshing honesty about the gaps in their understanding of D&I and how they have strived to be better allies. Get an insight into the dedicated working culture at BAME Recruitment, and Andrew and Miguel’s firsthand experience will be sure to inspire you! Turns out there's plenty you can still say, and many enriching, diverse discussions to be had.

Learn more about Diversifying Group

Your tone in the exchange of instantaneous communication is your responsibility. Checking your tone is a soft skill that needs to be developed to enable you to send effective emails without your tone becoming a problem.  

Email me:  hello@toyatalks.com
 
Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks)
 
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Sponsorships - Email me: hello@toyatalks.com

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www.toyatalks.com
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Counselling can help clear your mind and set you on a course for positive change - if you’re ready. Uschi shares the top three ways that we as a society can live by the ethos of 'Keeping It Real’: 1) welcome the day, 2) practice gratitude, 3) to live with acceptance.

Uschi used to be my counsellor. She shared tools and frameworks that I use and remember continually and they have led me to living MY BEST LIFE! I want this episode to breakdown the taboo over counselling and give everyone the reassurance that having counselling is OK… actually it’s more than OK. I’d say it’s a ‘must’ for EVERYONE because we all have our own unique levels of 💩to deal with.

We also discuss one of the frameworks that Uschi talked me through during my counselling which helped me grasp a better understanding of relationships with all people: The Drama Triangle and flipping that so it becomes The Empower Dynamic. This link contains a visual graphic of both frameworks: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Drama-Triangle-The-Empowerment-Dynamic.jpg 

You  find out more about Uschi here: http://uschirigbycounselling.co.uk/

Intro and outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily on Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme

Megan has been working in the broadcast industry for the last 8 years. She now works for Sky, is a mum to a toddler and has lived with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) since childhood. Megan talks really openly about the impacts of RA on her emotional wellbeing, owning her own truths and the constant drive to improve using ‘exposure therapy’ (a rather fantastic phrase coined by Megan herself!)

Intro and outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily on Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme

Anushka is a British Tamil woman who has set up a new production company to change the landscape of the media industry of screen by having more diverse faces but more specifically British Asian faces. 

Anushka has worked in the broadcast and entertainment sector for the last 20 years, covering the two main royal weddings, filming many red carpet premieres and interviewed a plethora of A list talent. In this episode she talks about the legacy she wants to leave behind through her new production company and what she can do for the media industry.

You can find out more about her work here: https://www.filmworks.tv/about

Intro and outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily on Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme

Over the last 20 years Christiana has directed many hours of the highest rated drama series on British network television, including Holby City, Doctors, Eastenders, Hollyoaks and Emmerdale. More recently she has directed prime time TV hits such as Grantchester, Call the Midwife and Father Brown. Her short film, Some Sweet Oblivious Antidote, starring amongst others, Sir Lenny Henry, Wunmi Mosaku, Colin Salmon and Fatima Koroma, was long listed for Best Short at the 2018 BAFTA Awards. Christiana’s ways of ‘Keeping It Real’ are around wanting a career that epitomised joy, how she felt when she realised that her chosen career wasn’t free from ‘politics’ and her career hopes for the future. In this episode, we refer to the Black British Culture Special in The Guardian that Christiana featured in, which can be found here: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/jun/25/christiana-ebohon-green-meets-wunmi-mosaku-its-exhausting-being-the-non-threatening-black-woman

Website: christianaebohon.com

Agent: https://www.independenttalent.com/

Intro and outro music credit: Dawn Awaits by Cody Martin, obtained from www.soundstripe.com

I’m on social if you’re interested…primarily on Insta and occasionally Twitter: @diversityofme