couple counseling

Cooperative gaming experiences for couples are extremely rare. One game that focuses on this experience is the local coop game, It Takes Two.

It Takes Two was the winner of the Video Game Awards 2021 Game of the Year. The game features a married couple who are sucked into an imaginative and dangerous version of their own home life to battle the fears of their daughter who has just learned about her parents are getting a divorce.

Every challenge in this game requires both players to work together, while also providing a narrative discussion on healthy marriages and repairing damaged relationships.

Join Dr. Gameology and Jenny as they talk to, none other than the wife of Dr. Gameology, Julia Kaufmann. She comes on the show to discuss what it is like playing this game with her own husband. She also gives us an in-person opportunity to review the Gardener Player type and other scientific studies on how games interface with marriages between players and non-players.

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Thanks for Listening, and Continue The Journey!

In today's episode we discuss the ending of a relationship and the heart ache that follows. We are all familiar with the metaphor of the broken heart.  Many songs have been sung about the experience of being left by a loved one. There actually is such a thing as broken heart syndrome at the extreme end of the emotional and physiological pain that relationship breakups can cause. 

Breaking up in a relationship is a life event that we have all experienced. It is a ‘common’ experience like moving house, leaving school, growing up and yet it can be one of the most devastating and destructive experiences one has. In particular, the breakup of a long term relationship can be traumatic and give rise to a range of very strong (conflicting) feelings including rage, despair, resentment, relief, pain and an overwhelming sense of sadness. Each partner’s future feels very delicate and uncertain.

The end of a relationship has frequently been described in similar terms to those losing a loved person to death. When losing a partner – particularly a long term partner - you go through various stages of grief and through a cycle of very intense emotions. In her ground breaking book on Death and Dying (1969), Elizabeth Kübler-Ross describes the stages a grieving partner goes through in their experience of losing a person they loved. Kübler-Ross’ description closely matches the emotions experienced when losing a partner:

1. Denial - there is a sense of disbelief that the breakup is actually happening. You are still postponing your grief as you still hold out hope that things will work out eventually.

2. Anger - the reality of what is happening has now set in. You may ask yourself why this terrible thing is happening to you. You are angry with your ex-partner for having ruined the relationship and you are angry with yourself for letting this pain happen to you. You may also be angry with others for not helping enough.

3. Bargaining - at this point you may negotiate a different kind of relationship with your ex-partner, e.g. being friends from now on. Bargaining in the grief model referred to negotiating with a higher power for the situation to be different.

4. Depression - you have now begun to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Feelings of sadness, regret or fear of the future may arise.

5. Acceptance - at this stage there is more of an emotional detachment from the initial rawness; there is less of a sense of shock. You may slowly start to move forward in your life.

The length of each these stages varies as does the order of each. Grief is not a linear process. Acceptance may be the predominant feeling, but there can still be days filled with anger or depressive feelings.

This week, Lisa welcomes Debbie, a shining example of what happens when you follow the steps in Lisa’s 12-week Emotionally Naked Dating coaching program and put in the work. You find the Guardian of Your Soul, like Debbie did in Marc!  Debbie talks about what made her choose Lisa as a coach, and how she was successful in business, took care of her life and seemed to have it all, except a real, true, loving partner to share life with. Marc details what in Debbie’s profile drew him in right away and let him know that she was special! You’ll love hearing these two talk about their adventurous life together, along with  sage advice for those still looking for love! 

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Debbie shares what made her choose to work with Lisa and turn it all around. 
• How did Debbie and Marc meet, and what stage were they both at in their lives that made them ready for each other on every level? 
• What were Marc’s first impressions of Debbie?
• Debbie talks about the internal process for taking accountability for her love life and how she knew she needed to make some changes. 
• You don’t have to settle! 
• How did dating change for Debbie once she started to learn how to approach dating with intention? 
• How does Marc feel about dating an older woman?

Continue On Your Journey

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Mentioned:

 No More Mr. Nice Guy 

Quotes

• “I had to dig deep and go internal. I had to figure out what was Debbie doing wrong?” - Debbie
• “Know your value as a woman.” - Debbie
• “When I decide to do something I give it 100%. I don't do half things halfway. It's not my nature. So once I was in the course, I was in the course”. - Debbie
• “I wish there was a Lisa Shield for men!” - Marc 
• “You have to be willing to find yourself and really admit who you are to yourself and what you're not going to settle for. Don't settle, girls, whatever you do, do not settle.” - Debbie

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

It's the Terrible Two returning once again for the weekly counseling session. Hermes and Khaleesi sit down again for some updates, sexual opinions, and foreign affairs critiques. Enjoy!
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Now that the year has come to an end, it is VERY important that we take stock of our wins and get prepared for the things we want to manifest in the new year. It is habitual to focus on what didn't happen and it takes practice to retrain yourself to focus on the progress you made. In this episode we share how we do it. 

If you celebrate Christmas you may have all sorts of expectations of the festive days. Based on your earlier experiences of Christmas you are likely to have a number of associations with Christmas - some positive, some negative. Many couples experience Christmas as stressful for a number of reasons: giving and receiving gifts that are appropriate, concerns about spending a lot of money,  spending time with your partner's family and managing the various chores on the day(s). If you are single and spending Christmas without family, the holiday period can be experienced as intensely lonely.
In this episode we discuss these potential stressors and consider ways of preparing for Christmas as best as possible.


Expectations
You are likely to have a particular script about the way you would ideally like to spend Christmas; this may either be a wish for a corrective experience, now wanting Christmas to be the way you always wanted it to be but never quite got or a wish for the Christmas that you always had as a child and that you want to replicate as best as possible.
Check with your partner what they want to avoid possible disappointments. Agree ahead of the Christmas days what you both wish for.

Gifts
You may have a very clear idea in your head about the kind of present you want to get for your partner. Your partner may have the same thoughts. You may find that your ideas about Christmas presents vary wildly. One of you may be used to getting very extravagant presents; the other may buy a 'small' present. There can easily be disappointments about the presents that are received. It helps to clarify from the outset what your expectations (and means) are and to agree whether you want to surprise each other or indicate what you would like to receive.

Money
Money has a transactional value that goes beyond monetary value. Money has symbolic significance; it can stand in for love, power, success, autonomy, dependence or sexiness. Each of us has grown up with a specific concept of money depending on how it (or the lack of it) was experienced when you are growing up. Partners in relationships need to have conversations about money and how it gets managed in the relationship, in particular when living together.
At Christmas disparities and different ideas about money often come to the fore. Be clear what and how you want to spend your money over the festive period if you often experience challenges in this area.

The wider family - your partner's parents
You may enjoy your partner's family/parents in which case there is no stress around spending extended time together. You may, however, find your partner's family challenging. There will need to be acceptance up to a point that your partner would like to spend Christmas with their family, however, you can also make prior agreements to have time out if and when needed.

Domestic chores
Often stress arises as one partner perceives to do more work in preparing for the day or hosting the event. Develop a plan with your partner agreeing who does what: who does the shopping, cooking, wrapping of presents or looking after the guests on the day.  Make a list of the various tasks ahead of time and agree who manages which task

We would really love to hear from you. Email us to share your ideas about addressing the issues that we mention in this episode: info@therelationshipmaze.com.

We are proud to be celebrating our first year of The Relationship Maze podcast. You have the one off opportunity to win FREE access to our detailed online course The Relationship Maze by joining this promotion. Click here to enter.

Get additional show notes on our podcast website here.

Today I am talking to Kieran and Rachael from Alternative Inverts about to pros and cons of being a couple that keeps exotic pets. We discuss how they split up tasks like feeding and rehousing, how they keep each other in check when it comes to purchasing new species, and their youtube channel that chronicles their expereinces keeping snakes, reptiles, amphibians, tarantulas, and other inverts.

Want to watch some tarantula, scorpion and invert videos?
 Subscribe to my youtube channel as well! 
https://www.youtube.com/thetarantulacollective  

or check out my website: www.thetarantulacollective.com

In part two we get into some technical aspects of love. Let’s tap into a list of questions we should all be asking to set healthy boundaries and expectations in relationships.

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