Coming to you from Whidbey Island, Washington this is Stories From Women Who Walk. You’ll recognize yourself in these true-life stories of adversity, challenge, fear, discovery, adventure, expression, and more from (mostly) women who are walking their lives while their lives walk them and the lasting difference their journeys have made. I’m your host, Diane Wyzga.
Welcome back to Part 2 of the podcast interview with my guest Jeffrey Tan, Pathfinder, Transformation Coach and Leadership Facilitator who joined us from his home in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. We were talking about walking our lives, strength, courage, and finding our way when I asked Jeffrey where his name, Pathfinder, came from. Let’s hear what he has to say on this, on leadership, parenting children as a single dad under COVID, and more.
Minutes: 32:29
0:00 to 1:45 Intro
1:45 to 4:10 Becoming the Pathfinder
Question: Is that where the name Pathfinder came from because I understand that’s what you call yourself.
- Yes. Pathfinder came about as a result of introducing friends to Mother Nature and hiking trails.
- Jeffrey believes: if people appreciate and love Mother Nature they will learn to respect it and work to preserve it, to protect it
- Encourages his friends to spend time in the forest - to experience how wonderful it is
- No one complains
- Jeffrey realized he is always the one who charts the course and leads the way
- Jeffrey needs to know which path is best to get the hike done before breakfast
- Jeffrey was a Pathfinder on the path
- As a coach/trainer Jeffrey realized he helps people find their path
- Jeffrey claimed the name Pathfinder: helping people lost in career, relationships, and life in general he helps them find their path in life
4:10 to 12:00 Trekking the Annapurna Circuit, Nepal
Question: What do you remember about being shown the path while trekking the Annapurna Circuit, Nepal?
- Jeffrey remembers going to higher elevations, air getting thinner, less oxygen available, Altitude Sickness possible
- Jeffrey and his group had to acclimatize
- Acclimatize requires you to go to higher elevation for a short time to get used to the thinner air
- When he and his group went up the mountain they experienced something different, pushing to take on challenges
- Likewise, to take on new challenges we need to just try it first, take small steps - acclimate - it gets easier, better when we get used to it
- Throughout the 16 day journey Jeffrey felt was walking toward something..... and when he reached the high point, he understood that reaching the peak and coming down was like a new lease of life for him.
- Jeffrey’s awareness: quit the current job and go on the path of becoming a trainer and coach
- Enlightenment moment: now this is a new path!
- Jeffrey’s story: During the acclimatization he had closure with his step- mom who had died from cancer several years before. He had no closure, felt empty, something left undone. Went to the Buddhist temple and meditated with one of his trekking partners; the moment Jeffrey closed his eyes he felt nonstop tears and a vision of his mom. His mom had met his daughter (Gaia) but not his son (Gaius). His mom loved boys. He said he was sure his mom wold love Gaius. He saw his children looking up to the clouds and a vision of his mom looking down at them.
Host: There are many ways to kneel and kiss the ground [Rumi]. Jeffrey is demonstrating with his stories the importance of being in the outdoors, a mountain trekking expedition that revels past, present, future. There is so much magic in these stories, richness of life experiences you are sharing with us. Thank you for dipping deep into the treasure trove.
- All his trekking trips have been magical
- The treks have shown him life’s challenges are like climbing a mountain and if you can climb you can prevail
12:00 to 14:29 3 Tips to Acclimate to Getting Outdoors
Question: What 3 tips would you offer to folks who are curious about, interested in acclimatizing themselves in the outdoors but something is holding them back; what could you say to give some encouragement?
- Get a pair of boots. Decent boots. The minute you spend several hundred dollars on a pair of boots you will be motivated to use them, to take your first step
- If you want an adventure nothing like getting outside, mountains, forests, to experience magic in the Mother Nature
- The moment Jeffrey stepped into a forest he had greater appreciation for life, even as simple as drinking water because it might not be there
- Water is Life-giving, like children are
14:20 to 20:11 Parenting During COVID Lockdown
Which brings us to another sort of Pathfinder training and leadership mastery program: parenting during lockdown. I understand that you have a son and a daughter. Question: How have these little humans helped you, what have they taught you?
- These Little People are wiser than you think
- Have conversations with your children
- Jeffrey doesn’t get to see his children often; during COVID lockdown it could be weeks or months before he saw his daughter
- They missed each other and will ask about how the other is feeling, why there is sadness
- As an 8 year old child comforted her father, Jeffrey felt many emotions as he continues to process the experience
- Jeffrey is pretty open with his daughter: he apologizes when he does something wrong or messes up; explains when there is (or is not) money to buy extra things now or later
- For as difficult as the divorce was on him his children has been the focus of Jeffrey’s care
Host: Jeffrey’s children are funny, articulate, engaging and as solid little humans show the investment of loving attention given to them. We will figure our way out. When we apologize to children we are recognizing their humanity.
20:11 to 26:20 Tips for Raising Children
Question: What tips can you offer to parents who might be struggling with raising children in trying times, who could use some hope, support or encouragement?
- Listen to your children. Children do not complain or fuss for no reason at all - it is to get your attention. Listen to what they want to say. Hear them. This is not easy for adults to do
- It’s not about showering children with gifts but with your time. Time is precious.
- Extravagance might not be the best choice. He prefers to engage with them, wash car with his children when they couldn’t swim in the pool; it was fun even though it cost him some money because his car was bigger than the children's mother's car
- Many adults think it’s not cool to get down and dirty with children. Do that stuff with them because they grow up too fast!
- Don’t be afraid to be silly with them, making up stories, fairy tales, whatever. Engage to understand your children and be aware that they are also sensitive to you as the parent.
- Jeffrey adds 2 stories about Gaia asking him to play a video game, and the end of a dating relationship. Don’t hide things from them. Ask them how they feel about changes and other circumstances, what they might be worried about.
26:20 to 28:10 Legacy
Question: As we sit here today, what do you hope will come about because your story is out in the world?
- Jeffrey wishes for everyone (to know) no matter how challenging Life is, you can always pick yourself up
- If you find that at that one moment you do not have the strength to get up, get someone to help you
- Do not be afraid to ask for help
- All you need is that one lift and you’ll be on your way
- Jeffrey hopes that his Life stories are able to inspire our listeners to get out, get an adventure of a life
- Life is an adventure!
- It’s not the end of the world when losses and suffering happen
- Know that your kids understand you more than you know, more than you think
28:10 to 32:29 Thank You for Your Stories
Before I say "thank you!" to Jeffrey I want to mention that all social media links and connections to stay in touch with him and explore RISE the Workshop will be posted in these Episode Notes. Please make sure you drop by, check it out, and if you’re on LinkedIn you might want to follow Jeffrey and his wonderful daily video tapings.
Thank you very much, Jeffrey, for walking along with us and sharing your story of how a man learned to find his own way, to re-write his own story, and now serves as a Pathfinder for others who are lost, or worn out or have slipped off the path for a time
Thank you, Diane! You and your posts inspire me. It’s really a pleasure to meet up with you. I couldn’t tell you how excited I was to chat together.
It’s fitting that I close the year talking with a gentleman. I opened the year with my brother-in-law, Steve Schuch and it’s beautiful to have two men book-ending the year 2021. Thank you very much and every good wish to you. One day, one day I’ll get to walk those jungles with you!
I would love that - totally - Thank you once again!
Here we are, at the end of the road but not the journey. Thank you for listening to Part 2 of this episode of Stories From Women Who Walk with your host Diane Wyzga and my guest my guest Jeffrey Tan, Pathfinder, Transformation Coach and Leadership Facilitator who joined us from his home in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. We hope you found delight, motivation, inspiration, and transformation all right here, right now.
You’re also invited to check out over 500 episodes of this podcast Stories From Women Who Walk found on Simplecast, your favorite podcast platform, including Android, and my website: Quarter Moon Story Arts. This is the place to thrive together. Come for the stories - stay for the magic. Speaking of magic, I hope you’ll subscribe, follow, share a nice shout out on your social media or podcast channel of choice, and join us next time! You will have wonderful company as we walk our lives together.
BIO/ABOUT
I'm a Pathfinder, a Coach and learning facilitator. I help people explore their paths in their personal and professional growth and development.
A fisherman and cook on a kelong, a site supervisor for a construction company, a Cleaning Operations Executive handling jobsites covering Kajang to Klang, a housekeeping supervisor in Holiday Villa for 3 months that led into a 25 year sales career as KL Branch Manager in one of Malaysia's premium cleaning supplies company.
Those years of managing and handling peoples from all walks of life led me to an understanding of their behaviors and attitude.
These experience gave me insights into the pains and pleasures of:
1. Managing and understanding expectations of owners as well as the people I was leading.
2. Leading project, sales and operations teams.
3. Training operations and sales teams.
My experiences allowed me insights into the thoughts and behaviors of owners, managers, leaders, admin and operations personnel.
In 1998 I attended a Leadership Program to improve myself, and since then people development became a passion of mine.
I love the outdoors and mountain trekking which began with a trek in FRIM (Forest Research Institute of Malaysia) that led me to Gunung Angsi, Gunung Nuang and finally peaked on Mount Kinabalu. I began craving more adventures and ended trekking Gunung Tahan, ascending from Merapoh in Kelantan and descending in Kuala Tahan 10 days later. As adventures go, it never ends, as i targeted Annapurna Circuit in 2013 after coming down from Mount Kinabalu for the 3rd time.
In April 2014, my team of 8 trekked the Annapurna Circuit, Nepal.
My adventures thought me leadership, team engagement and the practice of self mastery, all of which enriches my training designs.
If you want to UNLEASH YOUR LEADERS in your TEAM...
Explore possibilities with me:
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How to Follow and Stay in Touch with Jeffrey Tan
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Stories From Women Who Walk Production Team
Podcaster: Diane F Wyzga: Quarter Moon Story Arts
Music: Entering Erdenheim from Crossing the Waters by Steve Schuch & Night Heron Music
Sound Editing: Darwin Carlisle & First Class Reels
All content and image © 2019 - Present: for credit and attribution Quarter Moon Story Arts
