dating

Today's guest is my darling friend Susie Flory. She bravely agreed to come on Slo Mo and tell her story of overcoming an eating disorder, childhood bullying, and simply navigating life as a twenty-something in a world with a pace and a standard that breaks many of us. At the end of the day, Slo Mo exists for stories like Susie's, and our hope is that this will help a lot of people feel understood and not alone.

Susie currently works for a marketing agency but has also built two businesses over the last four years: Susie's Larder, a Middle Eastern inspired catering service, and Susie Flory Photography, where she works as a freelance events-based photographer. She is a mental health activist who hosts the podcast, The Inside Out Series.

Listen as we discuss:

• Susie's relationship with food, from hate to love
• Growing up bullied and trying to remain a people pleaser
• How being told she's pretty led her to focus on the wrong things
• The slow drift toward an eating disorder through anxiety around her weight
• Bullying and the destructive, long lasting power of one negative comment
• Unrealistic beauty expectations
• Teen depression and suicide
• How anorexia distorts your version of yourself
• What triggers the moment you finally ask for help out of any addiction or disorder
• How self-esteem relates to bullying
• How she'd handle the bully in retrospect
• Her advice to those suffering from an eating disorder now
• Being young in the modern world
• "Indecision-itis"
• How there's way too much choice in the dating market
• Where Susie sees herself in 5 years

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Connect with Susie Flory on  Facebook @suzeflory, Instagram @susieflory, and her website, susieflory.com. 

Don't forget to subscribe to Slo Mo for new episodes every Sunday and Thursday. Only with your help can we reach One Billion Happy #onebillionhappy

YouTube: @mogawdatofficial
Instagram: @mo_gawdat
Facebook: @mo.gawdat.official
LinkedIn: /in/mogawdat
X: @mgawdat
Website: mogawdat.com

Don't forget to subscribe to Slo Mo for new episodes every Saturday. Only with your help can we reach One Billion Happy #onebillionhappy

In Part 2 of my interview with British-Swiss philosopher, Alain de Botton, we continue our conversation - which has since become one of my favorites - on all things love, extending into dating dynamics, dealing with jealousy, the confusing language of sex, and God's role in all this.

Check out Part 1 here if you haven't already. It's essential listening if you want to understand what makes a quality relationship that results in more love and less loneliness. (While you're at it, listen to my conversation with Lynne Twist to hear how she's maintained a happy marriage for 53 years.)

Alain de Botton is a philosopher and writer of essayistic books that have been described as a ‘philosophy of everyday life." He’s written on love, travel, architecture and literature. His books have been bestsellers in 30 countries and have sold millions of copies. Alain also started and helps to run a school in London called The School of Life, dedicated to a new vision of education. His latest book, published in September 2019, is a collection of essays written for The School of Life, titled The School of Life: An Emotional Education.

In Part 2, we discuss:

• Humanity's transition from demonizing sex to trying to understand it
• The differences (or lack thereof) between male and female in love and sex
• Sexual fetishes and their unique place in couple connections
• Undertakers and nurses as beacons of acceptance
• The game of life is trying to find connections
• The ironic outcome of jealousy's intentions
• How to keep your partner faithful
• Alain's love advice to my daughter
• Coping with the feeling of being rushed into marriage as a woman
• What "God is love" really means
• Seeing your partner as an Adorable Idiot rather than just a regular idiot

Instagram: @mo_gawdat
Facebook: @mo.gawdat.official
Twitter: @mgawdat
LinkedIn: /in/mogawdat

Connect with Alain de Botton on Twitter @alaindebotton and alaindebotton.com

Don't forget to subscribe to Slo Mo for new episodes every Monday and Thursday. Only with your help can we reach One Billion Happy #onebillionhappy

YouTube: @mogawdatofficial
Instagram: @mo_gawdat
Facebook: @mo.gawdat.official
LinkedIn: /in/mogawdat
X: @mgawdat
Website: mogawdat.com

Don't forget to subscribe to Slo Mo for new episodes every Saturday. Only with your help can we reach One Billion Happy #onebillionhappy

“Are you in love with a person's presence or absence?”

QUESTIONS

What is your energy around managing relationships during this difficult time? (2:42)

What do you say to relationships going through trouble during this time? (12:41)

How do you create music in a relationship if there’s no in between? (15:52)

What is the thing you need to do to improve when you’re single and when you’re in a relationship? (46:16)

YOU WILL LEARN

How being mindful and creating space can help in relationships (5:23)

How important engineering space is to a relationship (17:12)

How partners can provide time for each other (22:25)

How to manage heartbreak (25:15)

How to handle solitude and loneliness during this time (38:57)

How active attention can help in improving emotional intelligence (49:36)

How to create useful hours and active leisure during the pandemic (56:31)

How to use care with creativity in dating (101:23)

How to help your lovelife and love life (107:12)

LINKS MENTIONED

How to Get the Guy Programs

If you enjoyed this episode, show notes and more at http://www.lewishowes.com/944 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

BUILD YOUR CASTLE. Love at first sight is bullshit. A relationship is like a castle. You find a plot of land that has a lot of potential. Then, bit by bit, you build the castle. But it takes work from both of you. One person can’t be laying the bricks while the other is home watching TV. After lots of hard work, you’ll have something unique and ornate that belongs to you. You’ll have a castle. That’s love. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about the key to lasting relationships with an international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene: Matthew Hussey. Matthew Hussey is a speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back. His corporate clients include Hugo Boss, The Perfume Shop, Virgin Gyms, Procter & Gamble, Bare Escentuals, U.S. legal giant Weil Gotshal & Manges, and global management consultants Accenture. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Matthew says that the “activation energy” for starting relationships is lower than ever. This causes ghosting. People are less invested in relationships. But there are ways you can meet people indirectly.
So get ready to learn the three things you need to build a great relationship on Episode 811.
Some Questions I Ask:
Do people even want to have a committed, long term relationship? (19:00)
Is a great relationship when you stop thinking about your needs and not expecting anything in return? (21:30)
How do we step outside of the emotional feelings in a relationship? (25:00)
When do you know you’re ready for a committed, intimate relationship? (47:00)
What are the three things you need to have to sustain a relationship? (52:00)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
About “activation energy” and why things like Tinder make it low (10:00)
Why space is important in order to not react emotionally (30:00)
About the “castle” metaphor and why you need to build together (38:00)
Why the “trash cans” define your relationship more than the highlights (45:00)
The four stages of all relationships (1:02:30)
The first step you can do to get out of the weeds of singlehood (1:11:30)
If you enjoyed this episode, check out the video, show notes, and more at www.lewishowes.com/811 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

Love! Romance! Intimate relationships! Marriage! Divorce! Remarriage! Clowns! This episode has it all. The wonderfully warm Dr. Benjamin Karney of the UCLA Marriage lab has been studying romance and intimate relationships for 20 years and sits down to chat about being single and the mechanisms behind finding a partner, what behaviors foster intimacy, why some couples stay together vs. splitting up, some bananas proposals, wedding budgets, how parenting affects marriage, historical problems with matrimony and his own experiences with marriage and divorce. These behaviors are also so applicable to friendships, work partnerships and as it turns out...professional clowns.

Dr. Ben Karney at the UCLA Marriage Lab

This week's donation was made to Care.org, which works to end gender-based violence.

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Theme song by Nick Thorburn

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"When you become rare, people become really terrified of losing you." - Matthew Hussey
I know I get huge value every time I sit across from an expert and hear their wisdom about one of the most important parts of my life -- my relationships.
We've had some amazing relationship coaches on the podcast through the years, but some of the episodes are so old, I know you may not remember them (or have ever heard them).
That's why I wanted to put together another mashup episode from the archives to share some of these gems with you.
If you enjoyed last week's mashup episode on High Performance Habits, you're going to love this one.
We're first featuring a clip from my good friend and global dating icon Matthew Hussey. This is still one of the most popular episodes we've ever recorded.
Then we dive into part of my conversation with Tracy McMillan, an Oprah favorite, a long-term TV writer, and relationship expert. I love how real and honest Tracy is in this episode.
Last, we feature the master therapist herself, bestselling author and powerhouse coach Esther Perel (who has been on the podcast twice and spoken at Summit of Greatness).
I think you'll love each clip for a different reason -- and I want to know! Let me know by messaging me on social media @lewishowes.
If you're looking for some insight into making your intimate relationships better, look no further than this mashup Episode 637.
In this episode you will learn:
The problem with having a sense of entitlement in dating (5:05)
What makes you attractive beyond your best quality (10:10)
The biggest mistake people make in dating (12:41)
How to get through the rough patches of a relationship (17:13)
The importance of humor in relationships (19:35)
How to work with your partner when they are triggered (20:55)
Why monogamy is a choice (26:45)
Plus much more...

"We're hardwired to bond with other people." - Katherine Woodward Thomas
If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video and more at http://lewishowes.com/231