family of origin

Figuring out how to parent a teen or young adult experimenting with substances is hard enough on its own.  But if you’re like me, there’s an additional layer of confusion about how this all happened:  Didn’t we provide a stable home life for our kids?  Didn’t they have access to everything they needed?  What did I miss to prevent this?

My guest today is Dr. Crystal Collier, an award-winning therapist working with adolescents and adults suffering from mental illness, behavioral problems, and substance use disorders.  But her experience is not entirely academic.  What made her so interested in recovery was her own misuse of alcohol beginning at age 12, and the difficult times that followed.

After finding recovery at a young age, Crystal had the same question about herself that Hopestream Community parents often have about their own children:  How did an otherwise smart kid with a great family end up making terrible decisions about substance use?

That question led to a 30-year journey of study and service, and I’m happy to share some of Crystal’s insights with you in this episode, including:

• How our own childhood experiences created “Family Of Origin (FOO) buttons,” and how they connect to present-day responses to our kids
• The FOO buttons we are programming into our own kids, and why they could lead to escapism, drug use, and antisocial behavior
• The pervasive myth that when parents allow drinking at home, it prevents excess “forbidden fruit” binging later on
• How helicopter parenting destroys a sense of self-efficacy in young people

Resources:
https://drcrystalcollier.com/
https://drcrystalcollier.com/the-books/

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram: @hopestreamcommunity
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Welcome to the Dr. Stephanie Poe Show.  Stephanie is a Doctor of Immunology, coach, mother, and friend.  She works with women who are recovering from divorce by giving them a framework for healing in order to find the love they crave.  By uniquely combining her own healing journey, lessons learned, vulnerability and scientific training, her heart is for women, teaching them to acknowledge their body in the healing process - holding space for where they actually are, not where they tell themselves they “should” be.  

In this episode, Stephanie dives deep into her own personal patterns with men.  In watching herself date after divorce, she noticed two distinct patterns and she vulnerably shares them with us, including where they originated from - her family of origin.  

Stephanie leaves listeners with:

• Guided questions to ask yourself about your own patterns in relationships
• A safe way to examine your relationship with each of your parents
• A sense of humor and freedom to simply notice, including what it might look like to truly heal.
  

Connect with Stephanie:

Instagram

Website

This week on the podcast, Lindsey and Nicole are joined by Jackie Brewster, certified Enneagram coach and author of The Enneagram and Your Marriage: A 7-Week Guide to Better Understanding and Loving Your Spouse. In this conversation, Jackie shares her personal story of how she came to know and learn about herself and others through Enneagram “awareness”. The Enneagram made such an indelible imprint on Jackie’s life and relationships that she knew she had to share her knowledge with others so they might experience lasting change in their lives as well. Jackie unpacks the Enneagram as a transformative tool that sheds light on the motivations behind our everyday behaviors and helps people facilitate empathy and compassion for others in their spheres, allowing them to foster deeper connections inside of meaningful relationships.

Full Show Notes

Healthy Love & Relationships Program

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We pair the finest hospitality with the best clinical minds in the country to guide you toward lasting transformation. Our holistic care is thoughtfully designed to help you connect to yourself and the community you form at Onsite.

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Let’s be honest, the holidays are upon us, which can feel a bit complicated for many of us. What do we do when it’s NOT a happy holiday? Is it possible to both honor ourselves and what we’re feeling and still enjoy this season? Today Mickenzie and Hannah sit down with Onsite Clinical team members Laurel Powell and Kara Leigh Pritchard to help us all enter this season with intentionality, purpose, and authenticity.

Discover the Right Onsite Experience For You
Whether you’re in a challenging season or just want to learn and grow, Onsite has an experience to meet you right where you are and guide you to the more you’re seeking.

We pair the finest hospitality with the best clinical minds in the country to guide you toward lasting transformation. Our holistic care is thoughtfully designed to help you connect to yourself and the community you form at Onsite.

You deserve healing. We're here to guide you! Start the process today or connect with our Admissions team at 1-800-341-7432 to discover the right experience for you!

Sophie and Barb talk about their unique experiences in their family car.

We explore how each family car has rules—and how they don't always apply to each sibling equally.

We hear about how Sophie and Barb have been able to take the good and the not-so-good experiences from their family of origin, examine them, honor what is helpful, and let go of what is not.

Join us for Sister Talk and see if you can spot anything familiar as you consider your own family car!

This week Lindsey and Mickenzie sit with the host and producer of the Adult Child, a weekly podcast about the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Through humor and transparency, Andrea shares how after nine years of sobriety, she realized that her next level of healing would require her to take a long look at the impact her earliest years had on her and her relationships. Andrea now helps other people explore the impact of being an Adult Child.

To celebrate the launch of our new digital platform, we're giving our podcast listeners 15% off our entire resource library with the code PODCAST. 

Sign up now! 

Discover the Right Onsite Experience For You
Whether you’re in a challenging season or just want to learn and grow, Onsite has an experience to meet you right where you are and guide you to the more you’re seeking.

We pair the finest hospitality with the best clinical minds in the country to guide you toward lasting transformation. Our holistic care is thoughtfully designed to help you connect to yourself and the community you form at Onsite.

You deserve healing. We're here to guide you! Start the process today or connect with our Admissions team at 1-800-341-7432 to discover the right experience for you!

Who were you in your family car…the smart one, the athlete, the baby, the lazy one?

In this episode, Ellen shares the example of the family car dynamic that she and her ex-husband created together with their kids. Through her personal story, we can see how we create new car dynamics in our adult lives in response to our experiences in our family car growing up.

Ellen shares a vulnerable moment she shared with her adult daughter just a few years ago—a teachable moment that can help us become aware that each family member is truly having their own unique experience within our family car—and it may not be what we think!

Through Ellen and Tolly's personal examples, the rules of our family cars and the roles of each passenger become clear. We begin to see how these rules and roles influence our relationships throughout our lives. You are guaranteed to find glimpses of yourself, your parents, and your siblings in this episode!

Connect with Ellen:
Website: https://www.ellenychute.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenychute (@ellenychute)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenychuteauthor

Today we start Part 2 of the Break Free of Parenting Pressures series which focuses on understanding all the little pieces that make you and your loved ones tick. I share why the home you were raised in affects you today (even if you swore it never would) and talk about my own Tweenager experience.