hatewatch

We're back with another one of our favorite annual traditions, Pilot Palooza! This year we tried out a new format and it SLAPS. We're bringing you Search Party, The Undoing, The Flight Attendant, The Queens Gambit, Ted Lasso, and Bridgerton. Listen to find out who the winner was and what height we think will dominate the year's famous hot (or not) men. Thanks for helping us get to another podcastiversary!

It's a wonderful feeling, feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling. It's that time again, The 2020 Really Fucking Good Television Award Show for Nice People Only is here. With the blessings from above, we send you our love for all of the television we watched in 2020 (and we do mean all 1000 episodes that Kelsey very casually watched). Do note, there was an audio issue with Kelsey's track that we can't explain or fix but we thought this episode was magical enough to preserve it in its current form.

What would Christmas be without revisiting our favorite places? We are returning reluctantly to Evergreen, Vermont, where we can apparently no longer see the North Pole, nor partake in magical advent calanders, but do apparently have plenty of hat factory ghosts, before we jet off to Chicago for a scavenger hunt inspired stay-cation. Tl:dr, we want Hallmark to do more weird townie shit and fewer start-up marketing stunts. Stay tuned for the end when we draft our pilots for Pilot Palooza!! Make sure to make your list and do your homework!

It's the annual Thought Bubble Audio holiday special! We're still talking about Vanessas! There are three Vanessas! Obviously we are talking about The Princess Switch: Switched Again! If you enjoy this, visit thoughtbubbleaudio.com to check out all of Thought Bubble Audio's shows. Special Guests: Frank Ramblings, Marissa, Palmer, and Tim.

We made it 3 episodes into Hatewatch Holiday before we had to argue about letting Hallmark Fuck (guys, these aren't even Hallmark movies????). We've got hot takes on Streaming search tools, Emma Roberts and Kristen Stewart, a snappy new name for Quarantine Quorner, and a very important new submission to the Christmas Movie Cannon (listen to find out what movie we want you to watch instead of Holidate).

Get your holiday lights and music display kits ready because it's finally time for Hatewatch Holidays 2020! We're kicking off the festivities with A Treat for Christmas... A Christmas Treat... Christmas for Treat... Treatmas? Whatever you want to call it, the important thing here is that our Treat Dad Treat Williams is in not one but two holiday films this year. After a lengthy discussion about the user experiences of streaming services that end in Plus, we're off to the races with The Christmas House, Hallmark's first endeavor to win over the gays. Honestly, it's not as bad as we thought it would be, despite some dicey plot choices (looking at you, fixer-upper on the Hudson). It's another story altogether for Christmas on the Square, arguably the biggest disappointment of our holiday movie season. We're gonna commission an episode of Handsome Justice to investigate the claim of whether angels can fly because they take themselves lightly and also why this movie is so bad. Stay tuned for several more Hatewatch Holidays installments coming soon!

Like Princess Margaret arriving for an official function fashionably late, fabulously drunk, and with no fucks to give, we are rolling up in your podcast feeds with our regular Tuesday episode on...........Saturday. Something something holidays, something something technical difficulties, listen: some of us were busy crafting, watching Princess Diana documentaries, listening to Princess Diana podcasts, and otherwise gossiping about Prince Charles, which cut into editing time. Anyway, we're here to talk about the Crown and somehow ended up talking more about the mask wearing habits of mid level network sitcoms.

It's the great Hatewatch tradition of Make Kirstie Watch A Thing, and this week, she finally caved and watched a Jane Austen adaptation. We're talking about the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, featuring emo Darcy, Kelsey's feelings (and Kirstie's lack thereof), plus some cinematography. If you too think that Kirstie should appreciate Jane Austen more, or you would like us to send you the photo we found of a large paper mache Mr. Darcy in a lake, please contact us at @hatewatchwithus.

It's been a while since we've complained, so we're coming in hot with a gamified format for filing our grievances. It's Kirstie's first Draft style event, and we are drafting Ways Outlander Has Wronged Us. If you're coming to this episode to agree with us about Outlander takes you will likely be disappointed. Additional updates this week include strong stances on supermarket themed television and a continued plea for any and all information about SMS for Dich/Text For You/Text for Dick?

This week is about things we hate such as turnip prices, mediocre white men, blue filter, Jason Bateman's self important standing, Jason Bateman's height, Jason Bateman, and the Netflix original, Ozark. We put our longstanding policy of No Ozark to the test and it turns out we were correct. Spoiler alert, the content sucks and you can't see any of it. Laws of liquidity give us $8 million now.

Technically, we're here to talk about the fine Hallmark original film Falling for Vermont. Do we cover the movie? Sure. Do we spend more time talking about the degrees to which Raffi bones? PERHAPS.

This week, we're taking every episode of the new Netflix show Get Organized with The Home Edit and placing them inside dedicated plastic containers in rainbow order. If you have thoughts about fridge organization systems, The Container Store, and whether or not children give a shit about organizational systems, SO DO WE. Come for the manic pixie rainbow cricut instagram fever dream, stay for the head to head battle between The Home Edit and Marie Kondo. Even if you do forget the four steps of the home organizing system (who would do that?), the important takeaway here is to request your absentee ballots, people!

Hey guys, remember hotels? We took a trip in the Hatewatch time machine this week and traveled back to a more innocent time last year when your hosts got to be in the same place, at the same time, recording a podcast on the floor of a Holiday Inn. In addition to some unwise choices, including broad speculations about the possibilities of leisure travel in 2020, we also have some thoughts about hotels! We're talking bars, we're talking pools, we're talking birthday parties(???). Like our delightful canned gin & tonic cocktails, this episode is ready to enjoy!

It was the week that we learned Meghan Markle starred in not one but TWO Hallmark movies! You heard that right folks, we're discussing When Sparks Fly and Dater's Handbook, two fine films that feature Meghan Markle, relatable video conferencing, and men who do the very least. We've got hot takes on Meghan's acting chops, her Hallmark hair journey, and the intracacies of Fourth of July wedding attire. If you, too, feel like you are stuck in a dead-end job making bad tv movies, just hold out hope that a year from now you will meet a dashing prince and get married and then divorce the royal family and live happily ever after because that is a much better story than the plots of either of these movies. THE END! If you enjoyed this, we think Meghan would want you to join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bailfundsgeorge_floyd?refcode=cwg

What happens when one cohost low key picks up homesteading? Apparently, this. We're here to bring you a true hatewatch this week, Discovery Channel's Homestead Rescue. We watched the pilot and we have thoughts about goat enclosures, conspiracy theories, and the patriarchy. We also workshop an iteration of Homestead Flip or Flop, which feels like a lot more fun (call us, Discovery Channel?). While we're at it, Cottage Life Network, please also call us and give us a way to access Brojects. Thank you!

This week, we're bringing the energy of an overconfident showrunner in a 3 minute postshow featurette with a topic we're fondly calling Inside the Dick. We present some groundbreaking theories including: audiences are smart, clip shows right after episodes are dumb, and maybe certain men should be less smug. This episode isn't an Outlander episode, but it's also not NOT and Outlander episode. Please enjoy, please stay home, and please tell us what you're watching so we can mention it in our new segment, Kirstie and Kelsey's Kuarantine Korner! --> @hatewatchwithus

What happens when you come to recording night to discuss one film, but the universe delivers you a different mission? Is it destiny? Kind of like when you arrive to your first day of university and you bump into your future wife, who happens to have a life size poster of you on her wall? Today at Hatewatch, we are here to discuss the age-old questions, Who are they? and What is this?, as we watch not one but two(!) made for TV movies about the love story of Prince William & Kate Middleton. This episode features all of your favorites, including Kirstie and Kelsey Google A Thing, Hot or Tall, and requisite judgment towards Some Members of the Royal Family. If you know who any of these people are, please let us know via a review or tweet us at @hatewatchwithus!

911, what's your emergency? Uhhh....we've just watched the 9-1-1 franchise and we have THOUGHTS. We're coming in hot with toilet babies, Rob Lowe's journey of self discovery and skin care routine, a shocking number of jokes about the Google Campus, and plenty of white saviorism.

All crew all crew! Our preference sheet includes bad reality TV about boat crews so that means we MUST discuss Below Deck Sailing Yacht immediately. The thing about sailing is that it's different than yachting, and it's hard to say who spends more time on that distinction, the producers or us. Below Deck Sailing Yacht has problematic chefs, problematic chief stews, problematic crew couples, and problematic third wheel captain dads, so buckle up for a wild ride as we cut the engines and raise the sails!

We've got a custom cocktail of television for you this week: add one part Canadian skating spirit, one part Netflix What Have You Done, a dash of 90s figure skating opinions, and garnish with one brief husband cameo. This week we're bringing you the Canadian ratings juggernaut, Battle of the Blades, and the Netflix original, Spinning Out. Come for the acid wash denim ice dancing costumes, stay for shoe shopping plot twist.