FOO Fighter: Deprogramming Our “Family Of Origin” Triggers For More Effective Parenting, with Dr. Crystal Collier
Figuring out how to parent a teen or young adult experimenting with substances is hard enough on its own. But if you’re like me, there’s an additional layer of confusion about how this all happened: Didn’t we provide a stable home life for our kids? Didn’t they have access to everything they needed? What did I miss to prevent this?
My guest today is Dr. Crystal Collier, an award-winning therapist working with adolescents and adults suffering from mental illness, behavioral problems, and substance use disorders. But her experience is not entirely academic. What made her so interested in recovery was her own misuse of alcohol beginning at age 12, and the difficult times that followed.
After finding recovery at a young age, Crystal had the same question about herself that Hopestream Community parents often have about their own children: How did an otherwise smart kid with a great family end up making terrible decisions about substance use?
That question led to a 30-year journey of study and service, and I’m happy to share some of Crystal’s insights with you in this episode, including:
- How our own childhood experiences created “Family Of Origin (FOO) buttons,” and how they connect to present-day responses to our kids
- The FOO buttons we are programming into our own kids, and why they could lead to escapism, drug use, and antisocial behavior
- The pervasive myth that when parents allow drinking at home, it prevents excess “forbidden fruit” binging later on
- How helicopter parenting destroys a sense of self-efficacy in young people
Resources:
https://drcrystalcollier.com/
https://drcrystalcollier.com/the-books/
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