how to trust myself

In this podcast, we focus on Self Trust and Self Confidence, or simply our ability to trust ourselves without any doubt or desire for external validation. When we trust ourselves, we make decisions or take actions with a sense of courage and conviction, which give us the confidence we need to face our challenges in life. Unfortunately, Self Trust and Self Confidence are not something we are born with, and we have to develop them in the course of our life.

This podcast covers the following topics:

- Understanding our developmental needs and how they affect our self trust   

- Noticing what blocks our ability to trust ourselves as adults.   

- Practical tips to restore self trust and increase our self confidence.

When we have low levels of self trust, all of our decisions are mixed with doubt, and everything we do is observed and judged by our inner critics, who are aware of this doubt and view it as a sign of weakness or incompetence. Because of this, our inner critics tend to block our ability to trust ourselves or be more confident in our decisions and actions, even if such trust or confidence is what we truly deserve. 

This podcast is produced by Aion Farvahar, who is a Life and Spirituality Mentor, and a Psychoshamanic and IFS Self-Leadership Practitioner. For more information about Aion Farvahar or Celestial Twin Life Mentorship visit:

- Celestial Twin Website (https://celestialtwin.com/)

- About Aion Farvahar (https://celestialtwin.com/linkinbio/)

- Celestial Twin YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/c/CelestialTwin/)

Reference Links:

- Self Psychology: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/self-psychology

- Heinz Kohut: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinz_Kohut

Background Music:

CC-BY by Artist: Meydän, Track: Away, 

Artist's Website (https://soundcloud.com/meydansound/)  

Disclaimer:

The ideas presented here are based on personal perspectives, experience, or research, and are not meant to reflect any scientific or academic argument. No part of this podcasts may be reproduced or used without written permission from Celestial Twin Life Mentorship or Aion Farvahar (https://celestialtwin.com/). Use of brief quotations is permitted, if providing a clear attribution and link to the original post. 

Blessings!  

One shift is around our ego. He quotes Journal of Management research that found “humility in CEOS leads to increased collaboration, flexibility and developing strategies.” He also shares a source of confidence “my faith whispers that I am loved and I have potential.”
Improving patterns of relationship, he advises “strategic vulnerability, it endears others to us. And name the emotion versus just showing it. For example, to say ‘I am feeling embarrassed’ instead of ‘I’m feeling attacked’.”
He shares his favorite principle in parenting is don’t criticize and he created a don’t complain challenge with a reward for the kids at the end of the week to help create positive patterns at home.
His practical wisdom “We have to make a choice everyday to grow.”
Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel and join my free work life connection workshop to learn ways to thrive.

Our guest this week is an expert on avoiding burnout. She shares practical tips to manage stress and personal wisdom on gaining peace.

1. “Differentiate between pressure and stress. We aren’t helpless victims.” We can interrupt the process and choose our reaction.
2. Problem focused coping: “We need to be really smart about how we put routines back together. Adding structure, creating a map of the week is calming to our minds to know what’s coming next.”
3. Emotion focused coping mechanisms: “Getting emotional reserve that bolsters our ability to cope and helps us surrender.” She likens this to care instructions we might find on clothes, and reminds us it’s different for each of us so we need to “play and do things just for the joy of doing it.”
4. Meditation and belly bringing, she shares how she does this with her 6-year-old.
5. Develop intuition and listen to those “divine redirects.” Kate shares the soul searching she got from beating cancer: “it was a hard lesson to learn to strive less and appreciate more.”
   Her practical wisdom “Nothing that is truly meant for me can ever miss me.” This mantra helps release micromanaging and focus on all we already have.
   Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel and join my free work life connection workshop.

Our guest this week leads Conversational AI product development at Microsoft, is a D&I leader and speaker, founder of the Asian Leadership conference and chair of the Asian employee resource group and mother of 2. She offers insight from soul searching during the pandemic, “I was so exhausted. I gave myself time to ponder what is essential for me and what changes I’m willing to make. I had a mindset shift from struggling with work life balance to embracing work life integration with grace.”

1. Self acceptance “It’s ok if a project, homework or housework aren’t done. I’m good enough here and now.”
2. Gain wisdom from connections “My international customer actually appreciated the good mood that started our meeting when my daughter just showed up. I also learned the power of analogies that works well with kids helps explain concepts to customers.” At minute 14 she shares “I learn tons from my kids: a great analogy of how trying to keep a beachball underwater is like suppressing unwanted feelings.” She now joins her daughters in their online art class and draws along with them to get a few moments of quality time and creativity.
3. Manage energy “I think of energy as my measurement instead of managing time. I consciously seek those positive tiny moments throughout the day to regenerate my energy.”
   Her practical wisdom: “Prioritize yourself. Live in the moment. Focus on finding your “me” mindset+energy so you will have a strategy for resilience and live a more meaningful life.”
   Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel and join my free work life connection workshop.

Soul Searching with Michelle Gnida: Seize the Moments
Our guest this week inspires us to kick off the New Year by taking action on our dreams.
For 5 years she’d been dreaming about launching a blog to share stories and insights from clients. Soul Searching over the pandemic gave her courage. “I realized that (professor) from decades ago was still in my head getting in my way. I thought: it’s not going to be perfect, I’m not a professional writer, and right now people need these (uplifting) things! I just decided to go for it and put it out there. I was shocked by the number of people who responded positively.”

She also offers insight to overcome polarization: “When we’re grateful, we’re less likely to have hatred towards others who think differently. It boosts oxytocin and increases our happiness set point.”

She shares her favorite #DaleCarnegie principle “become genuinely interested in people” and how that helped her as a parent to coach her son to improve relationships.

Her practical wisdom: “Seize the moments. Enjoy the little things.”
Follow me for uplifting content https://lnkd.in/gG5YAWx and join my free mindset training.

Soul Searching with Jamie Cabaccang: How to spend our time and energy on the meaningful things
Our guest this week is a lead at Pinterest, the founder of Techies and Wellness, and was recently published in the bestselling book “Miracles of Healing from Around the World.”
A serious illness led to soul searching, learning about energy work, and prioritizing what’s important in life. She shares how she went from doctor recommended chemo for life to holistic healing that put her in remission. She shares an analogy of energy being like water: “Like when rocks block the path of water, we can have energy blockages that cause anxiety, depression and illness. Energy work can clear those blockages. The Universe somehow manifests people and situations into your life that are opportunities we can create.”
She shares a story how being a good listener develops compassion and is her favorite parenting principle that helped her son struggling with bullying.
Her practical wisdom: “ask is this yes going to be meaningful and serve the highest good for me, my family and for all?”
Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel and join my free workshop.

Thanksgiving: A New Way of Life & How to Give Appreciation

In honor of Thanksgiving, let’s cultivate appreciation and train our brains to look for good in others, situations and ourselves. Let’s use growth mindset and see that we can become more positive and grateful.

In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie invites us “to a new way of life. If we stop thinking about ourselves for awhile and begin to think of the other’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery.”

Do you feel awkward in praising people? You're not alone! Once we see the strengths of others, we can tell them genuinely using the formula: “you are (positive quality), for example (specific moment).” This phrase ensures we highlight who they are as a person instead of just what they do, and we use evidence to demonstrate our sincerity.

This method is also useful in interviews and performance reviews. When we consider our own abilities by saying “I am” and remind ourselves “for example” of specific achievements, we genuinely build our confidence and articulate value.

Happy Thanksgiving! Who else needs to hear this today? Tag them in the comments, give them appreciation and share this post.
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Soul Searching with Ram K C: Business, Belonging, and Breath

Who else needs a stress release? Our guest this week is a tech leader and meditation instructor. He gives a practical tool: in minute 16 he demonstrates a meditation exercise called “cappuccino breath” to give us energy. Take 3 minutes now and feel the positive effect! He shares his soul searching of hitting rock bottom: “the ambition and stress as an entrepreneur led to the greatest learning of my life: how breath can build resilience, calm ourselves, and access endless reservoir of energy.” (10:30) On the pandemic: "Nature is forcing us to give our best."

He shares wise leaderships tips to create an effective team: “Most of us carry a private image to work and keep our own image in our personal life. Once we carry our natural self to work those barriers come down and we create belongness. I’ve realized the more generous I am in sharing appreciation it gives exponential impact on the team. Celebrating every small win builds the emotional fabric of the team. Love is one thing that grows with giving and the more we see happiness.”

His practical wisdom: “Clarity in mind. Purity in heart. Sincerity in action.”

Follow me for uplifting content https://lnkd.in/gG5YAWx and get Soul Searching resources

Soul Searching with Corey Perlman: Tips for Maximizing Social Media and Keeping Perspective
Our guest this week is the author of Social Media Overload
He offers practical tips:

1. Prioritize the platform your customers are using
2. Create useful content: “what questions do you get all the time from your clients? Answer those questions to help them.”
3. Use video: “especially now, we’re unable to meet in person, video is a powerful tool of connection.”
4. Limit your time on social media: “it can be a tool or a drug.”
5. “Choose whatever you feel most comfortable with and enjoy: video, podcast or blog.”
6. “Don’t take advice from people who haven’t earned the right or you don’t think is a good person.” This helps us not worry about the critics or the haters.
   The wisdom he shares: “The pandemic has taught me how important connection is. Doing huddles virtually with clients and reaching out to friends so they know you care. The shining light in this dark moment is spending so much time with family.”
   His practical wisdom: “Don’t let your ego get in the way of receiving help or advice.”
   Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel access my free workshop and resources

Be confident of your value: how to let go of criticism

One of my favorite analogies to remind us that we are priceless is money. If someone disrespects a $20 bill, compares it negatively to other currency, even rips it, it still is worth $20. Likewise, if someone criticizes us, compares us or hurts us, we are still valuable.

Here’s a video from the “good old days” of a live keynote from a corporate event so you can feel the energy of this awesome audience and get inspired.

Take 5 minutes to recalibrate your confidence:
What unkind thing has someone said or done that your need to let go of?
What job didn’t you get that you need to stop ruminating about?
What manager didn’t see your value that you need to forgive?
Who do you need to stop comparing yourself to?
What are your unique strengths, talents, and gifts?
What is your favorite scripture, verse or quote to remind you: you are divine?
For example:
Bible "God equips me with strength"
Lao Tsu "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."
Qur'an "and He is with you wherever you are"
Buddha "The mind is everything. What you think you become."
Star Wars "I'm one with the force, the force is with me."

Who else needs to hear this today? Tag them in the comments or share.

Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel access my free workshop on How to Win Family and Influence Kids

Soul Searching with CEO Joe Hart: Strategies for a successful business, family and mindset
Our guest this week, CEO of Dale Carnegie, shares how his mentor (Ford and Boeing CEO) Alan Mulally’s Working Together framework can transform business. “The cornerstone is live to serve. Listen, appreciate, be transparent, have integrity, hold people accountable and create a safe space and you’ll deliver results. The CEO sets the tone.” (5)
When I shared I battled imposter syndrome approaching the CEO, worried he’d decline being a guest on this show he said, “It didn’t dawn on me. These things we create in our minds, we can be our worst enemy.” We discussed the importance of mindset, “almost the only problem we have to deal with is choosing the right thoughts.” (12:58)
How does he instill confidence in his 6 kids? “My job is to help you make good decisions for yourself, take command of your thoughts” and he gives a lot of praise, 1:1 time and love.
On soul searching during this pandemic he now “looks with proper perspective to remind myself of the tough things I’ve been through before. I’m not afraid, I was born to do this.”
His practical wisdom: “Believe in yourself” and his mantra when running marathons “Dig deep.”
Follow me for uplifting content https://linktr.ee/nikkikloeppel access my free Q&A on How to Win Family and Influence Kids

Soul Searching with Guillermo Vazquez: How to Cultivate Belonging and Listen to Yourself

Our guest this week is a Senior PM in Xbox and the Communications Director for the Microsoft Hispanic and Latinx Employee Resource Group #HOLA.
In celebration of #HispanicHeritageMonth he shares why he loves volunteering: “Don’t be afraid of failing. People will see your positive intent and you’re trying to help. It’s so rewarding.” He shares strategies we can all use to cultivate belonging in our teams: (5:35) “We showcase what makes us human and unique, and what brings us all together, like art and music. We have fun, we use trivia, Cahoot, comedy, and bring in speakers to educate us. We also have hard discussions like the importance of voting.”

His soul searching during this season of Covid has led to (14:28) “learning to meditate, do yoga and learning to listen to my body. Don’t let the previous version of yourself bash you. Be compassionate to yourself. It’s ok some days to have a hard day, it’s ok to fail. It’s an opportunity to do better the next day.”

He’s inspired by Jay Shetty “Think Like a Monk” especially to let go and forgive. Guillermo's practical wisdom: “I am present for you.”

Follow me for uplifting content http://eepurl.com/dELfT5 to access my free workshop.

Overcome Fear of Public Speaking and What People Think About You

As a speaker coach, exec coach, and life coach, I've helped 10K people to feel more confident and feel free to be themselves. Here is our insight to help you too:

1. Do you worry what people are thinking about you? Good news: they aren’t even thinking about you! They are thinking about themselves just like you are! It’s human nature to assume others are judging us, but most people are too busy worrying what we’re thinking about them. This one paradigm shift can help you release your fears and feel more confident. (:53)
2. Do you dread presenting? Stop rehearsing failure and start remembering a success story and visualizing best case scenarios. Don't just prepare your content, prepare your mindset too. (2:12)
3. Is your fear of public speaking holding you back? Try this mantra: “My goal is to help.” When we remember our intention is to serve others, we can release self-criticism and better achieve our potential and speak up, mentor, and volunteer. (2:56)
4. Feeling alone? Don’t believe everything you think. You are worthy. You are amazing! No one's against you. People want you to succeed. We are connected. We are one. The cure to feeling separated is to feel part of something bigger. (3:52)

Follow me on linkedin and youtube Nikki Kloeppel and Facebook @PracticalWisdomStories for uplifting content and to access my free workshop: http://eepurl.com/dELfT5

Practical Wisdom Stories: Soul Searching with Miri Rodriguez: Storytelling to build your brand

Our guest this week Miri Rodriguez is the author of Brand Storytelling. She shares the practical 5 strategies to create a story concept: design, empathize, define, ideate, prototype and test (2:57). She also shares the wisdom she discovered in creating this process: “The first and last step of the cycle is to empathize. I had to learn empathy as a soft skill, which I didn’t know was a thing.”

She also shares how to create more understanding and human connection, “develop cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathy, which can be uncomfortable…all of my content that’s gone viral has been emotionally charged. That’s the power of storytelling. We’re all in it together. We often downplay our stories and think they are ordinary, but that's what makes them extraordinary.” (7:47)

She shares a connection she discovered between work and parenting, “understand their personality type and love language and tailor your approach to the individual.” (17:40)

Her practical wisdom advice: “Learn, like and brand yourself.”

Follow me for uplifting content and to access my free workshop: eepurl.com/dELfT5

Practical Wisdom Stories: Soul Searching with Nikki Kloeppel: 12Ps: How to Deliver a Great Presentation, be Confident in Public Speaking and Improve Storytelling
Are you looking for practical ways to improve your presentations and overcome your fear of public speaking? Here are the 12 P’s I’ve learned from coaching 15,000 leaders:

1. Purpose: feel confident in your value, you were asked to present for a reason
2. Process: include when, where, who, what, how and why to add structure to your storytelling
3. Posture: sit and stand tall to look and feel confident
4. Project your voice: be louder than you think, our calibration is off when we’re in front of people
5. Pause: slow down to look poised and cover mistakes
6. Pace: align your speed to the emotion and content you’re conveying
7. Power: be yourself and use your platform well
8. Passion: care about your content and your audience can tell
9. Personalize: use names and give credit to your team, mentor, family
10. People: include your audience, compliment the panelist before you
11. Props: exhibits help your audience visualize concepts and make you memorable
12. Personality: tailor your talk to the audience and stakeholder. Use the type of evidence that aligns to their influence style
    13:18 offers specific tips for presenting virtually and creating connection.
    Click here eepurl.com/dELfT5 to receive free coaching on writing and sharing your story and register for my upcoming program.

Practical Wisdom Stories: Soul Searching with Ani Babaian: How to See the Good

Our guest this week shares a vivid story of growing up in Iran during war and revolution and how this helps her to find the good in challenging times. She has cultivated optimism and an ability to reframe problems into opportunities that has helped her go from “the immigrant kid who qualified for free lunch” to a CEO thriving even during a pandemic.
Ani gave me a defining moment as a speaker coach, as she was my first client with a speech impediment. At minute 5:15 she shares a vulnerable story of overcoming a stutter and the achievement of presenting to 2400 people that will inspire you to not worry what people think about you. She taught me not to make assumptions and to coach people to their full potential. She says, “it’s just a feature” not a flaw.

Her practical wisdom, “I really believe everyone internally is good. We’re all meant for great things. I love my brothers and sisters of all colors, races, religions, and genders.” She shares how to cultivate hope (14:30) and inspires us to feel unity and human connection.

Click here eepurl.com/dELfT5 to receive free coaching on writing and sharing your story and register for my upcoming workshop.

Practical Wisdom Stories: Soul Searching with Cabrelle Abel: Developing Confidence
Our guest this week shares about how to develop confidence to speak up and have difficult conversations. She says, “It doesn’t come naturally for most of us. It’s a skill you develop over time by educating yourself.” She suggests applying the same strategies for volunteering that are successful at work. For example, as an attorney, her first step on a project is to listen and learn. This helps become a trusted business advisor. She followed this same path to approach her company’s Diversity and Inclusion team in January to initiate a discussion group of the Seeing White podcast for her colleagues and write a letter to her organization encouraging social justice. “I made myself vulnerable at work” and it’s been very rewarding. She discovered that being a change agent is often just writing an email or making some calls.
“Home is another sphere we can influence.” Minute 7:45 she shares how to be a change agent as a parent. The confidence of making social change at work also led her to collaborate with her kids’ school to get Stamped as required reading.
Her practical wisdom, “There’s tons of opportunity for us to make small change in the communities we’re already a part of.”
Click here eepurl.com/dELfT5 to receive free coaching on writing and sharing your story.