What do you do when your life falls apart, you lose everything and have to start over? You find the clues in the past that point to the transformation you want to create and start moving towards it.
Dear Jennifer: In the past two years, I have lost everything, my job, my home, my friends and I barely speak to my family. Although I have been looking for a job, I can’t find one and I’m living with a friend now that I barely get along with. I don’t know what to do to fix my life and I’m having a hard time figuring out my next steps. How do I get my life back and how do I create the stable, secure and happy life that I want?
Jennifer’s Answer: What you are experiencing has been felt by so many people in the past 15 plus years and it is hard when everything in your life changes like this. Your response of sadness, fear and regret at these changes is keeping you stuck and preventing you from creating the new life that you want. Regretting the passing of the past is also enforcing the belief that this somehow happened to you and you are the victim, not the creator.
While it may be hard to find the energy and courage to see new possibilities for yourself, that is what you must do if anything in your life is going to transform. You may be wondering why this has happened to you, so let’s talk about the real reasons behind what has happened here.
Everything enters and leaves our life at our conscious or unconscious invitation, so it is not possible to actually ‘lose’ anything.
If we don’t appreciate or value what we have and secretly wish it would go away or consciously set an intention for something new, we disconnect our energy from our current reality and whatever must leave our life. It is leaving to create energetic space for something else to enter. This is what our intention does, it creates an energy container for the energy that will empower our intention to flow into.
To invite something else in, we have to create space for it by setting an intention for it. This process is what creates the in and out flow of people, situations, and experiences into and out of our life.
Imagine a revolving door, which is an interesting piece of engineering that was created at a time when public buildings were not heated. The revolving door allowed people to enter and to leave the building without any heat escape. What’s interesting about revolving doors, though, is the people are entering the building at the same time that people are leaving the building, it depends on which side of the revolving door they are on. I call what I’m going to explain to you my ‘revolving door transformation process’.
While we are grateful for what we have and appreciate every circumstance and situation, every life situation ‘run out of energy road’ meaning it holds no energy for us and while we’re trying to balance the energy with people and situations, by using the revolving door process we achieve closure with what we no longer resonate with and its outflow is graceful and effortless.
The empty space we have created with this release is then filled with the new things we have set our intention to receive. But when we feel angry and powerless, when we hate our life circumstances, and are upset with people and with ourselves, we create an energetic disconnection without first creating the space for the new to arrive.
Why does our life suddenly seem to fall apart and we ‘lose’ everything? I think there are 3 reasons, based on nearly 20 years of coaching, intuitive consults, and working with people from over 40 countries
1. It is time for us to move on and we aren’t paying attention to the signs.
2. We are following a path that is not right for us
3. We want to change but lack the courage to make a change
We can then find ourselves in the situation you are in, where everything seems to leave at once and our lives are empty.
What if we really like what we are doing and it just doesn’t work? I experienced that in my career. Always been intuitive, have a strong life transformation story, always
Some questions for you to consider are:
- Did you like the job you had or were you frustrated, angry, and felt limited by it?
- Did you like your friends or were they challenging and did not serve and support you in meaningful ways?
- Are you harboring resentment and anger towards your family that you have yet to resolve with them or within yourself?
- Do you have expectations about how your family interacts with you that they cannot meet because they are incapable of doing that, even if you think they are, or you are trying to get them to do what you want,
With the energy moving as quickly as it does now, responses to our desires can arrive very quickly. It doesn’t matter whether we are consciously or unconsciously wishing our lives would change, when we scatter our energy through anger, fear, and feeling powerless, we get incomplete results.
And something else to consider is the universal laws – I used to write about them a lot about 13 years ago and had a program called the 12 Universal laws. One of the laws, #6, is the Law of Cause and Effect. It’s my favorite because it states that ‘everything in our reality is an effect and we are the cause.’ This means that everything is a result of what we have created.
I know it doesn’t feel right that we would deliberately crash and burn our own lives or create havoc intentionally but we do, for our own reasons. That’s the topic for another podcast.
What I want to emphasize here is the universal law of cause and effect. If you are always the cause and your reality is always an effect or result, how do you change the effect? By changing the cause, by creating something different. Instead of feeling victimized by the effect (which you created) try altering your vibe, your words, beliefs, and actions to become a cause. We have two choices – become a different cause or become a victim of the effect. I would rather become a new cause, wouldn’t you?
See yourself as the creator of your reality, as the author of your world, so you pay attention to what you’re creating and start becoming more mindful of what you are
The Universe works with us, not for us. It will not create something for us that we do not or will not first create for ourselves. To fill your life with what you love, you must first give yourself closure with what you have allowed to leave your life (what you say you ‘lost’), which is no longer aligned with your energy or intention, by being grateful for it and appreciating what you have already created and the lessons it represents.
Then you need to start working with your intention to create something new for your life now. It may take some time but then again, you are ready for change so it may also happen very quickly. It depends on how willing you are to see yourself as powerful instead of powerless, how much you can accept that everyone is where they can be which may not be where you want them to be, forgive yourself and others and give yourself the closure you need to close these energetic connections to your ‘old’ life and create something new and wonderful in your life now.
You won’t get your old life back (you didn’t like it anyway or you would still have it) but you will create a new and more fulfilling life and learn the powerful lesson of how energy works and how powerfully it responds to you, so you practice gratitude and appreciation and use intention to create your life, instead of scattering your energy unconsciously and then find yourself in the fearful, empty space that you face when things fall apart, as you have experienced.
Created, narrated, and produced by Jennifer Hoffman.
Artwork by Jennifer Hoffman.
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