surviving infidelity

In today's episode, I go into the process of how you grow your self-worth when you have been / are in a trauma bonded relationship.

The thing is people who get attracted to and involved in trauma bonds tend to be people who already have a fragile sense of self.  If you were fully secure especially around your worth and self, the moment you experience criticism would be the moment you leave. But you don't.

The fragile self taps into personality types and attachment styles
- the achiever and / or perfectionist
- the avoidant or anxious attached

The key for self-growth is via the relationship you have with your self.

It is what you "do" to yourself and what it is you receive from your doing.

First it is imperative to let go of the self criticism to provide space to consider: What do I need to receive to heal?

Then you can act accordingly to ensure your doing and receiving sides are in alignment.

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Join me as I speak with Mark Yegge, founder of The Light Circle, Author and Wealth Architect as we talk about how trauma bonds affect your success in business.

 Workplace challenges arise from trauma bonding, where personal issues affect professional performance. Life's complexities, influenced by relationships and absorbed traumas, create a nuanced interplay. Recognition of colleagues' trauma signs involves understanding mirrors, where reactions reflect personal struggles. Emotional issues linked to relationships and traumas impact workplace success. Mirrors extend beyond external behaviors, offering self-discovery through life experiences. In turbulent relationships, the concept emphasizes self-worth reflections, not deserving mistreatment. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for fostering a healthier professional environment. 

Whether you're healing from trauma bonding, surviving infidelity, improving your relationship, solving relationship problems, and growing your self-worth, this is your place to be.

Lots of free resources accessible on www.healtraumaboding.com

Find me on IG @dr.sarahalsawy
LinkedIn: Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies

Mark Yegge - https://www.lightcircle.org/

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Today I'm joined by Dr St Jon, a Psychotherapist, Spiritualist, and Author. Today we talk about issues of vulnerability, how this makes us more isolated within our relationships as well as in society at large. We discuss how we have grown more accustomed to being disconnected as a way of self-protection despite the damaging effects this can have.

If you want to use scientifically evidence based methods to heal trauma bonding, surviving infidelity, improving your relationships and self-love, contact me on:

www.healtraumabonding.com
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In today's discussion, I want to delve into the concept of losing oneself, particularly in the context of toxic and trauma-bonded relationships. Not everyone experiences toxic relationships, but those who do often have an insecure attachment style, typically anxiously attached. This attachment style stems from childhood experiences where love was inconsistent, conditional, or tied to meeting specific criteria. The desire for acceptance and love becomes conditional upon meeting external standards.

Entering a trauma-bonded relationship involves attracting individuals who mirror our anxieties, reinforcing subconscious beliefs. The brain forms neural pathways that perpetuate a cycle of seeking acceptance by conforming to external expectations. The constant pursuit of an idealized image leads to self-abandonment and a loss of identity.

As one enters a toxic relationship, the initial abundance of love and attention masks the looming criticisms and control that emerge later. Despite recognizing red flags, individuals remain in these relationships, entwining their identity with the relationship itself. The fear of rejection drives a continuous effort to meet perceived conditions for love.

To break this cycle and reclaim oneself, it's crucial to explore and accept the rejected parts of one's identity from childhood. This involves deep subconscious work, rewiring neural pathways, and embracing the concept that your existence is inherently acceptable. Stepping off the hamster wheel of conditional acceptance and focusing on genuine self-love, rooted in profound emotional and cognitive shifts, enables a return to authenticity and selfhood.

You can find me on
LinkedIn: Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

10 ways to heal your trauma bonded relationship in 2024!

Get your pens and paper ready to make notes! This is a beast!

1. Be ruthless with your mental health diet. People talk a lot about physical health as a new years resolution. I say have a mental health diet resolution.

2. Ask yourself: what lessons about relationships did I learn from my mum? What lessons about relationships did I learn from my dad? P.S. An absence of a relationship is still a relationship. Messages learnt between birth-7yrs will determine how you view and behave in adult relationships.

3. Sit with your younger self - enter this space and ask: what did you need? Invite adult you into the room and offer this.

4. Discover your relationship dynamics and traps - vicious cycles you get caught up in. Questionnaire I developed link in comments. Download and find your relationship trap. at www.healtraumabonding.com/relationship-trap

5. Take accountability. If you don't, you risk relying on the person who hurt you to rescue you - they do not need to validate you and you do not need to wait on them - this would be giving them control. You need to take your own control.

BONUS 5 - accountability by journaling daily asking yourself- a) how did I feel? b) how did I respond? c) what was the intended consequence? d) what are the unintended consequences?

6. Stop lying to yourself. You might unknowingly do this as your subconscious protects yourself, but it hurts you in the long run.

7. The part of you that's scared in the relationship, what is it looking for? How can you get this in the most intelligent and kindest way?

8. Sooth your nervous system - exercise 1 breathe in 4 beats and out 7 beats. Exercise 2 breathe in 2 inhalations (one long followed by one short) and out 1.

9. Step back and ask: am I keeping this situation to maintain relationship safety? Self safety? Or both?

10. Self-discovery. Start dating yourself. Show interest in yourself and remember - the way you treat yourself is what you receive.

www.healtraumabonding.com/relationship-trap

You can find me on www.healtraumabonding.com
LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram dr.sarahalsawy

Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, and wanting to grow your self-worth, this is the place to be to heal trauma bonding.

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In this episode, sparked by a touching moment with my two-year-old, let's chat about self-love. When we've faced toxic relationships, the idea of self-love is thrown around, but it's not a quick fix. The real challenge lies in rewiring our subconscious minds, which govern 95% of our actions.

Early experiences matter. Babies, including us, need emotional care as much as physical safety. Fast forward to adulthood, and if you've been through trauma, self-love can feel elusive. Rewiring your brain is like a consistent gym routine for your mind, not an overnight fix.

Beyond clichés, let's get real about self-love. It's about rewiring, reprogramming, and healing. If you're feeling stuck, consider reaching out for support. There are programs and one-on-one sessions that can guide you through this journey. You deserve genuine self-love, and it starts with embracing a deeper, authentic connection with yourself.

You can find me on:
LinkedIn at Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Today, let's chat about the challenge of setting boundaries in a trauma-bonded relationship. We often hear about the importance of boundaries in maintaining healthy connections, but it gets tricky when you're trauma-bonded.

In these situations, recognizing the need for a boundary mentally is one thing, but putting it into action feels almost impossible. You might psych yourself up to address an issue with your partner, only to find yourself unable to express your feelings when the moment arrives.

Trauma, especially in past relationships or childhood, imprints deep in our brains and subconscious, affecting our emotions and behaviors. When the neural networks associated with threats are triggered, expressing boundaries becomes a daunting task.

Historical traumas lead to subconscious beliefs about self-worth and relationship dynamics. Even when we logically grasp the importance of boundaries, the subconscious may resist, fearing rejection or criticism if we prioritize ourselves.

Neuroplasticity offers hope, allowing us to rewire our brain's neural pathways. Intense emotional moments, coupled with somatic exercises, help release trauma imprints, shifting us from a threat-response to a calmer state.

On the subconscious level, identifying and addressing fears attached to expressing boundaries is crucial. It goes beyond surface-level concerns, delving into core beliefs about self-deserving, fear of rejection, and the discomfort of stepping out of perceived lines.

By clearing these fears and reprogramming our neural networks, we pave the way for healthier, conscious expressions of ourselves. It's about embracing change and creating a new system where we feel capable, content, and, most importantly, true to ourselves. If you have questions or need support, feel free to reach out. Looking forward to connecting!

I'm on 
LinkedIn: Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

The podcast discusses the concept of vulnerable narcissists, addressing the common resistance to the idea that narcissistic individuals have vulnerabilities. I go through the five types of narcissism, starting with overt narcissism characterized by arrogance and a sense of superiority. Antagonistic narcissists enjoy arguments and manipulative control, while communal narcissists portray themselves as morally superior. Covert narcissists hide their traits but reveal them in intimate relationships, leading to gaslighting. Malignant narcissism involves deriving pleasure from others' suffering.

The focus then shifts to the vulnerable narcissist, emphasizing that despite appearing as aggressors, their behavior stems from childhood traumas and neglect. I explain how growing up with absent or abusive caregivers shapes their skewed perception of relationships. Vulnerable narcissists either maintain distance or attack as a defense mechanism, struggling with the basic human need for love. The discussion highlights the role of empaths in trauma bonds, attracted to the vulnerable side of narcissistic individuals despite their harmful traits. I encourage you to hold onto empathy and understanding while acknowledging the challenges of dealing with narcissistic behaviors.

You're welcome to get in touch via:
www.healtraumabonding.com
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In today's discussion, I want to explore a question I've been asked recently—an important one that has recurred throughout my experiences. The question essentially boils down to whether the issues in a traumatic bond stem from the dynamics between the individuals involved, the abuser's inherent nature, or personal factors within oneself.

The answer, succinctly put, lies in all these components. Typically, in a trauma bond, one person exhibits narcissistic traits, presenting themselves as superior and prone to critical or threatening behavior. This individual is categorized as the "abusive party." On the other side is the person with empathic traits, high on the anxiety scale, is categorized as the "anxious empath."

The compatibility in this toxic dynamic arises from the anxiously attached person's vulnerabilities. When the abusive partner criticizes and manipulates, it aligns with the anxiously attached person's fears of inadequacy and abandonment. Similarly, the avoidant traits of the abuser, pulling away when things get too close, match the anxiously attached person's fear of rejection.

The key to breaking this cycle isn't changing the abuser but cultivating security and strength within oneself. The path to healing involves understanding that one cannot change others and focusing on personal growth and resilience. I encourage you to take steps toward your own healing, and for further guidance, check out a free video training on trauma bonding linked on my video here:

www.healtraumabonding.com/sign-up

Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Today, I want to talk about a question I've been asked multiple times: Can you experience a trauma bond without overt abuse? I've heard variations of this question from various people over time, clients included. The core issue is feeling the signs of a trauma bond without clearly labeling your partner's behavior as abusive.

I've dealt with this in my own life, and I get it. The thing is, abuse isn't always blatant; it can be subtle, like manipulation and gaslighting. Growing up, we often learned to recognize abuse as something clear and physical. But the truth is, the more insidious forms of abuse, like manipulation, can be even more damaging because they're less obvious.

Let me share a client's story. She was in a relationship for years, feeling miserable but hesitant to call it abusive because her partner never physically hurt her. In one session, she said she wished he had hit her because then she'd have clear justification to leave. This revealed a common misconception: abuse doesn't always have to be physical.

It depends on factors like personality and attachment style. If you're highly empathic or conscientious, you might internalize blame and responsibility unnecessarily. I've seen it happen – partners being short or aggressive, and instead of addressing it, you take on the responsibility to fix things, leading to self-blame.

Let me be real; abuse comes in various forms: gaslighting, manipulation, criticism, even subtle threats. Emotional abuse activates the same brain responses as physical abuse. So, yes, you can experience a trauma bond without physical violence.

I want to share a resource with you – a free video on healing from trauma bonding. It's crucial to recognize abuse early to minimize the time spent in pain and self-doubt. Check out the link in the show notes or visit healtraumabonding.com. I hope this episode helps you on your journey. 

Video training is here: www.healtraumabonding.com/sign-up

You can find me on Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In today's episode, I'm diving into the fascinating topic of how trauma bonds impact not only our psychological well-being but also our genetic coding and physical health. So let's start by understanding that our DNA, our very genetic makeup, is significantly affected by the bonds formed through traumatic experiences. While we often focus on the emotional and mental aspects of trauma, it's vital to recognize that trauma leaves a trace in our brains and bodies.

Trauma bonds, especially those formed in relationships, have a profound influence on our limbic system. This part of our brain creates a blueprint of the trauma, which then manifests in our subconscious as an ongoing quest to resolve it. However, our limbic system lacks timestamps, creating an endless loop of unresolved trauma.

The brain and body can't distinguish past from present, leading to emotional pain and turmoil experienced long after a relationship ends. Whether the trauma bond was with a romantic partner, family member, or friend, the brain's genetic coding remembers and stores it. This is crucial because our subconscious mind governs 95% of our behaviors, constantly striving to address historical trauma, even if it doesn't know how or when.

Chronic stress, triggered by trauma bonds, leads to imbalances in our nervous system, high levels of stress hormones, and physical symptoms like disrupted sleep and weakened immunity. The impact of stress isn't limited to psychological distress; it affects our overall health. The body remains in a perpetual fight-or-flight mode, which can lead to various health issues, including gastrointestinal problems, heart conditions, and even cognitive impairment.

Furthermore, trauma bonds influence our genetic coding through epigenetics, altering our gene expression. DNA methylation adds methyl groups to specific genes, making them less active, especially in areas related to emotional regulation and stress response. Histone modification affects the accessibility of genes for transcription, making it difficult for us to regulate emotions, think clearly, and problem-solve during stressful situations.

Additionally, trauma bonds may be transmitted across generations, impacting not only our lives but those of our descendants. Inherited genetic coding can predispose future generations to similar emotional struggles and relationship dynamics.

The key to breaking free from the grip of trauma bonds is a holistic approach that combines psychological and physical healing. Somatic-based techniques, mindfulness, meditation, and self-compassion can help activate dormant genes, rewire our brains, and regulate our nervous systems.

Remember, understanding the deeper meaning of your emotions and addressing the roots of your trauma bonds can pave the way for healing and breaking the cycle. If you have any questions or thoughts about this episode, please reach out to me. Your journey to resolution and healing begins with self-awareness and self-compassion.

You can find me on Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In this episode, I delve into the profound impact of trauma bonds on individuals. I share a story of a client who grappled with a toxic and abusive relationship, shedding light on how trauma bonds can keep people trapped in painful situations. I explain how the mind often copes by avoiding the very issues that trouble us, even when it means running into the arms of what scares us.

The client's detachment from her traumatic experiences is explored, and her avoidance behaviors, such as deflecting, criticizing, or normalizing, are discussed. I underline the significance of recognizing these patterns in oneself and the need to address them, for healing and growth.

I emphasize the importance of seeking professional support to navigate the complexities of trauma bonds and the difficult questions they bring, like, "Does this person love me?" or "Did I mean anything to them?" These questions indicate the importance of addressing the relationship's impact and seeking help in a safe, supportive environment.

Ultimately, the goal is to break free from the cycle of trauma bonds, enabling individuals to heal and preventing them from running into the same issues in future relationships. By understanding themselves and their needs, individuals can make informed decisions about the relationships they choose to keep or leave, ensuring that the haunting effects of trauma bonds no longer control their lives.

You can find me on Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy or on www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In this podcast episode, I will delve into the complex issue of why people often remain in relationships, especially in the aftermath of infidelity, within the context of a trauma-bonded relationship. I've noticed that many of you are hesitant to discuss your experiences of infidelity, as it can be a source of shame and embarrassment. Today, I'm going to explore ten main reasons why you might choose to stay in such relationships:

1. Intermittent Reinforcement: This psychological process leads to cycles of intense highs and devastating lows, keeping you hooked on the expectation of a reward.
2. Cognitive Dissonance: You may struggle to confront the harsh reality of your situation and often create alternative perspectives to cope.
3. Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Continuous criticism and attacks in a relationship can erode your self-esteem, making you more likely to tolerate bad behavior.
4. Expectations of Improvement: You may hold onto the subconscious hope that your investment in the relationship will eventually yield positive returns.
5. Compassion and Empathy: Individuals who are drawn into trauma-bonded relationships tend to be highly compassionate and may prioritize their partner's needs over their own.
6. Gaslighting and Self-Gaslighting: You might doubt your own perception of reality, leading to self-gaslighting.
7. Fear of the Relationship Ending: The prospect of leaving is often complicated by factors like commitment, intertwined lives, and a neurological attachment to the trauma.
8. Conscientious Characteristics: Anxious individuals may feel compelled to do the right thing for their partners, even at their own expense.
9. Attachment Style: Those with an anxious attachment style may struggle to assert their own needs and may normalize their partner's behavior to maintain the relationship.
10. Normalization: Societal and cultural norms can impact your perception of infidelity and your willingness to accept it as a part of your relationship.

This episode offers insights into the psychological and emotional dynamics that can make it challenging for you to leave a trauma-bonded relationship, even after experiencing infidelity. I encourage you to be mindful of these patterns and your own experiences.

Whether you are surviving infidelity, improving your relationship, solving relationship problems, or healing trauma bonds, you can find my on Instagram at @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Are you wondering whether your current relationship is built on true love or if you're stuck in a trauma bond? It's a question that plagues many of us. This episode dives deep into this common dilemma, helping you navigate the complexities of love.

Often, the struggle arises when you've invested a significant amount of time, money, and emotion into a relationship, yet something feels amiss. You oscillate between moments of happiness and despair, unsure if the ups and downs are part of a healthy love or a result of a trauma bond.

Let's break it down:

Attachment Styles: From birth, humans form attachments for survival, but not all are healthy. Trauma bonds stem from insecure attachments, where you change yourself to feel safe. True love, on the other hand, thrives on unconditional acceptance and safety. You are worthy just as you are, without needing to meet conditions.

Love or Need: In trauma bonds, love often becomes a means to fulfill your emotional needs, leading to tests and constant vigilance. Mature love emanates from a genuine feeling for your partner, not as a response to your own insecurities.

Hypervigilance: Trauma-bonded individuals are hyper-aware of their partner's actions, while those in mature love have a healthier balance, noticing disrespect but not obsessing over it.

Liberation or Control: Trauma bonds often lead to feeling controlled and suppressed, as you mold yourself to please your partner. In mature love, you're liberated and free to express yourself, communicate boundaries, and voice your needs.

Individuality vs. Unity: In a trauma bond, there's a constant push to merge into one unit, sacrificing your identity. Mature love embraces individuality and encourages growth outside the relationship, celebrating differences.

Reflect on these aspects and your own experiences. Are you expressing love selflessly, or is it a response to your emotional needs? Do you find yourself constantly testing your partner? How vigilant are you about your relationship? Do you feel liberated or controlled? And finally, does your relationship allow for individuality?

Understanding these distinctions can help you assess whether you're in true love or caught in a trauma bond. Remember, it's okay to seek support and guidance as you navigate this complex terrain.

You can find my on Instagram at @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how your anxious attachment style can affect your relationships. So, why does this even come from? Well, typically when people get involved or attracted to a trauma-bonded relationship, the person who's vulnerable, the person who ends up getting hurt tends to have an anxious attachment style. So let's take a moment to understand what an anxious attachment style is before delving into how it affects relationships.

An attachment style is essentially how you relate to other people and operate within relationships. It's based on how much you trust others and how worthy you feel. Attachment styles develop early in life, often stemming from childhood experiences, and they influence every aspect of your relationships, including romantic, platonic, familial, and professional.

With an anxious attachment style, you may believe that people only like you if you perform or act in specific ways to gain approval. You may constantly worry about how others view you and fear being abandoned or rejected. You become trapped in a cycle of seeking approval and avoiding rejection.

So, why is this important? Anxious attachment styles often lead to trauma-bonded relationships, where you're drawn to people who may reject or criticize you. This paradox occurs because your subconscious mind is seeking validation and approval, especially when it detects discomfort or potential rejection.

Now, let's explore five ways your anxious attachment style can impact your relationship patterns:

1. Self-Worth: Your worth becomes defined by others' approval. You feel worthy when you receive love and approval, but anxious when you don't.
2. Boundaries: Establishing and upholding boundaries becomes challenging, as you fear that setting boundaries may lead to rejection.
3. Hypervigilance: You constantly watch for signs of neglect, distance, or abandonment, which can become self-fulfilling prophecies.
4. Cycling in Relationships: You may find yourself stuck in toxic relationships, oscillating between fulfilling and depleting phases, hoping to relive idealized moments.
5. Ignoring Emotions: Anxious attachment styles often make you suppress gut feelings, causing you to overanalyze situations and feel paralyzed.

It's crucial to recognize how your attachment style impacts your relationships and emotional well-being, as it can help you break free from unhealthy patterns and seek more balanced, fulfilling connections.

You can find my on Instagram at @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In this podcast episode, I want to talk about something that many of us can relate to. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you constantly try to keep the peace, always making sure your partner is okay and avoiding any conflicts? You might feel like you're walking on eggshells, nervous about expressing your true thoughts and feelings because you fear it will lead to arguments or you being perceived as the "bad guy."

It's crucial to understand that the primary aim of any relationship should never be solely about keeping the peace. While I recognize that safety can be a significant concern in some relationships, constantly suppressing your needs and desires to maintain harmony can lead to a state of trauma bonding. This is an unhealthy pattern where you become hypersensitive to your partner's reactions, always seeking their approval while trying to avoid criticism.

This podcast episode delves into the complexity of trauma-bonded relationships, where you find yourself sacrificing your true identity to please your partner. Over time, this can erode your sense of self, leaving you feeling hollow and empty when you finally break free.

The episode emphasizes the importance of prioritizing your safety, both physically and emotionally, while recognizing that keeping the peace should not be a long-term strategy. Once safety is established, the journey to rediscovering your true self begins, enabling you to have healthier relationships moving forward.

If you resonate with these insights or have thoughts to share, please reach out to the podcast host and provide feedback or questions. This episode aims to shed light on the challenges of maintaining peace at all costs and offers guidance on finding a path to true safety and self-discovery within relationships.

If you're looking to improve your relationships, solve relationship problems, heal trauma bonding, or are surviving infidelity, please reach out! I'm on
 
 Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
 www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Trauma bonding is a complex relationship where extreme emotional highs and lows are experienced. In the beginning, it often feels magical with intense love, but it can also involve criticism, manipulation, and abuse. This cycle repeats over time. When things hit rock bottom, discussions of change might occur, leading to a renewed sense of love and hope. However, these highs are short-lived, and the relationship becomes increasingly painful. People may feel numb, disconnected from reality, and lose their sense of self.

The concept of trauma here involves both "big T" traumas, such as physical abuse, and "little T" traumas, which are subtler but still damaging. These little T traumas can accumulate and cause severe distress. They might include constant criticism, belittling, threats, or emotional manipulation.

The trauma bond typically follows several stages:

1. Love Bombing: The abuser showers the victim with intense affection and promises, drawing them in.
2. Trust and Dependency: Plans for the future are made, creating a sense of security and commitment.
3. Criticism: The abuser starts criticizing the victim, eroding their self-esteem.
4. Gaslighting and Manipulation: The abuser distorts reality, making the victim doubt their perceptions and judgments.
5. Resignation of Control: The victim eventually gives up trying to assert themselves or defend against criticism.
6. Loss of Self: The victim loses their identity, trying to conform to the abuser's expectations.
7. Addiction: The victim becomes addicted to the emotional highs, hoping for a return to the initial love and passion.

Breaking free from a trauma bond can be challenging but is essential for one's well-being. Recognizing that one doesn't need to be broken before leaving such a toxic relationship is crucial. It's vital to seek support from friends, family, or professionals to regain control, heal, and rebuild a healthier sense of self.

If you're looking to improve your relationships, solve relationship problems, heal trauma bonding, or are surviving infidelity, please reach out! I'm on
 
 Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
 www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In this podcast episode, we're diving into the topic of vulnerability leading to trauma-bonded relationships, and it's a crucial issue we all need to be aware of. Many people fail to connect the dots between their past experiences, upbringing, and how they find themselves in toxic, trauma-bonded relationships. Often, individuals enter these relationships without realizing it until it's too late.

The vulnerability to trauma bonding can be traced back to one's upbringing and early attachments. Our subconscious beliefs and thoughts are deeply ingrained by the age of six or seven, shaping how we interact with others and the kind of relationships we seek as adults. If you grew up with conditional love and the belief that you must meet others' expectations to be worthy of affection, you may become a people-pleaser in adulthood.

Trauma-bonded relationships often start with the "love bombing" phase, where you feel cherished and seen. This intense attention can be addictive, especially if you've longed for it due to your earlier conditioning. As the relationship progresses, you may experience criticism, manipulation, and gaslighting, which further erodes your self-worth. You begin to believe that you're only good enough when someone else validates you.

This cycle makes you perpetually hooked on seeking validation and approval from others. You may reject healthy relationships and gravitate toward those that feel familiar, even if they are toxic. Breaking free from trauma bonds requires rewiring your subconscious mind, changing neural pathways, and being open to healthier, albeit unfamiliar, relationships.

It's essential to recognize that comfort doesn't necessarily equate to familiarity, and taking steps to change can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships. So, consider exploring the unknown and embracing the potential for genuine love and happiness.

If you're looking to improve your relationships, solve relationship problems, heal trauma bonding, or are surviving infidelity, please reach out! I'm on
 
 Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
 www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

In this podcast episode, I delved into the complex journey of healing from a trauma-bonded relationship. Many people try to establish a fixed timeline for recovery, often based on arbitrary equations or social media advice. However, I emphasized that the healing process is highly individualized and depends on one's commitment to the process.

Trauma bonds are insidious and can make it challenging to break free. Individuals may say they want to heal and move on, but their behaviors may contradict their intentions. This paradox arises because trauma bonds are deeply rooted, leading people to believe that their abusive partner is the only one who can make them happy or validate their worth.

The addiction to a trauma-bonded relationship stems from intermittent reinforcement, where occasional positive moments keep individuals hooked despite a largely toxic environment. This intermittent reward system releases hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, creating a cycle of stress and love that reinforces the bond.

Physiological addiction further complicates the healing process, as the body becomes accustomed to associating love with stress. This makes it difficult for individuals to recognize healthy love when they encounter it.

In summary, healing from a trauma-bonded relationship is not determined by a fixed formula but rather by an individual's commitment to change. Breaking free from such a bond involves facing withdrawal, uncertainty about one's identity, and the willingness to let go of the relationship. The key to healing is personal commitment and a willingness to embrace change and recovery. If you're on this journey, it's essential to seek support from professionals who can guide you through the process.

If you're looking to improve your relationships, solve relationship problems, heal trauma bonding, or are surviving infidelity, please reach out! I'm on

Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
www.healtraumabonding.com

Set yourself up for relationship success. Whether you're surviving infidelity, solving relationship problems, improving your relationship, growing your self-worth and confidence amidst a trauma bond, here's the place to be.

Helping you to feel relationship empowered and set you up for relationship success.

LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com